Trial and Error
by Umi Hinode
Summary: Playing nice wasn't on Shizuo's list, nor was it on Izaya's. After a sudden turn of events, however, the two find themselves stuck a bit too close for comfort, and with that comes the previously unfathomable - getting along. For the most part. [This version has been abandoned! Please go read the rewrite, Re: Trial and Error, instead!]
1. Operator Error

**The rewrite is out! Re: T&E is my love letter to you all for supporting this version, so I'd really appreciate it if you stop reading this and go check it out instead. You all have supported me so much throughout this version, but it's time is over. I appreciate your constant support, but there will never be another chapter added here, so there's no use in you reading and/or following if you're new. If you want to reread from time to time, feel free, but I'd feel much better knowing you read a story I'm much more proud of, and also one I feel like you all deserve for sticking with me. Thank you!  
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><p><strong>chapter one - operator error<strong>

Hangovers.

God, were they annoying. Shizuo Heiwajima wasn't much of a drinker, so hangovers weren't too common a problem, though to him, they were almost as annoying as a certain raven-haired informant. He wouldn't go that far, however. No one would ever be on par with "that flea", which was both a good and bad thing. Shizuo brushed the thought aside, though - he thought he had a hard time thinking on short notice on a normal day; hangovers made it a hell of a lot worse.

"Damn flea, damn alcohol…" Shizuo muttered, sitting up from his place on...the floor? The blonde blinked a few times to make sure he was seeing clearly, and sure enough, he lay right nearby the front door. "Must've been out real good if I didn't even make it past the couch."

Rubbing his eyes one last time, the debt collector stood up, searching around until he found his phone, flipping it open to see that he had a new text.

[Dragged your drunk ass home before you passed out in the street. You really wouldn't want to jumped by another gang first thing in the morning, ne~?]

"Izaya," Shizuo muttered, eyes narrowing. "Why would he care? Most of the time it's him sending people after me, anyway!" he sighed, closing his phone before making his way towards the bathroom, still a little drowsy. "He was obviously near me at the time, too. If that flea did anything…"

The blonde cut himself off again, pushing the thought away yet again. He had to focus on getting ready for work; Izaya couldn't dominate his thoughts all day.

Which he did, with it being a particularly uneventful day. Work was the usual - Shizuo had forgotten his pack of cigarettes, so he was a little more tense, and there were of course more uprooted street signs and unhinged doors - lunch break was usual, usual run in with Celty, but no Izaya in sight. Of course there were good days where the two didn't face-off, but it did seem that Izaya had started visiting Ikebukuro more and more recently. At first Shizuo assumed it was for work, but seeing Izaya flaunter around almost like a normal person convinced him otherwise.

And so Shizuo walked the whole way to Shinjuku, hoping to get answers one way or another. Of course, this was Izaya he was talking about. There was never a way of telling for sure what he would say or do.

"How flattering, Shizu-chan, walking all the way to Shinjuku to thank me."

Shizuo paused, turning to see Izaya waiting just beside the elevator, twirling his switchblade around with his trademark smirk plastered to his face.

"Thank you my ass," The blonde spat, walking over so he was right in Izaya's face. "Something obviously happened last night, and I want to know what."

Izaya chuckled. "What, I can't do you a favor and have that be the only thing that happens? Honestly, these days, seeing you get attacked by rogue gang members is getting a little boring. Besides," he paused, flicking the end of his blade on Shizuo's nose. "Only I get to kill Shizu-chan. With you out cold, who knows what people would've tried."

Shizuo snorted, grabbing onto the blade. "Bullshit."

"So violent, Shizu-chan," Izaya shook his head in mock disappointment, pulling out another knife and slashing Shizuo's chest. The taller man released his grip on the switchblade, taken aback. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some important business to get to." Izaya stepped back, placing both blades back in his pockets before turning out the direction Shizuo came from.

"Going to 'bukuro, huh?" Shizuo asked, following in pursuit.

Izaya nodded, stopping as his lips curved into that crazy grin of his. "Yes, actually. Why, do you want to chase me back home?"

Shizuo let out a small huff, not responding. The informant's expression remained the same as he spun back around, making a bolt ahead, watching out for the few passersby. _Guess I have no choice. Then again, it has been a few days…_

"IIZAYAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

The same familiar screech - though not familiar to Shinjuku - sounded through the town as Shizuo attempted to keep pace with Izaya, earning some dirty looks as he ran past. He would imagine the people of Shinjuku would at least know who he was, with Ikebukuro not that far away, but no one seemed to look at him in complete fear. It was a strange feeling.

Shizuo realized after some time that taking in his surroundings was slowing him down, and Izaya was just barely in his sight. He swiftly picked up the pace, thankful that not many people were left on the sidelines. Izaya was noticeably getting slower, probably thinking he had outrun the other by now. Shizuo let out a small chuckle at the thought only a few feet behind at this point. With a small glance back, Izaya kept on running until, after what seemed like a long while, stopped in front of Shinra's apartment complex.

The two paused together for a breather, Izaya surprised that Shizuo wasn't attacking him then and there. "I need to pay Shinra a visit, so you may as well just go back home."

"What, I can't see him too?" Shizuo smirked, taking a step before but Izaya halted him.

"I don't think he needs to replace another door, should someone choose to act up," Izaya concluded with a wave of his hand, making his way inside.

Shizuo sighed, pulling out his recovered cigarette pack, lighting one and sitting down on a nearby bench. _We will settle this, flea. I didn't chase you all the way back here for nothing. And god knows what you want with Shinra…_

The blonde sat in silence for quite some while, gazing up at the complex, completely oblivious to everything around him. He felt a bit of drowsiness coming over him, but ignored it, leaving him to black out with no idea what hit him.

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><p><strong>author's note~<strong>

Finally, I managed to finish this atrocity of a first chapter. - I've had this idea for this in my mind for a couple days now, and it took quite a few tries to get it decent, but it's finally here (_you're welcome fox_)

I know, some of you might be going "This is hardly decent!" Yes, it could be better. Way better, if you ask me. I wanted to be able to kick start the story, though. I promise you, it gets better. This is just one of those awful first chapters that at least sets up the story, for the most part. If you know me, then you know that I am absolutely awful at first chapters. But, here you go~ Reviews are very much appreciated. c: Can't get better without 'em. I'll try to work on the next chapter, but I want to know that I at least have some support going.

I'm _definitely _going to rewrite this once the rest of the beginning becomes a little more clear to me. It's sad knowing how this is going to end but not start. xD" Also, sorry if there's any OOCness floating around. This is my first time writing these two in particular, and I have very little experience writing characters like them in general, but I'll work on it.

So, I guess I'll see you when chapter two is out~


	2. Gamble

**chapter two - gamble**

Two days in a row of this.

He hadn't even been drinking the second time. It just...happened.

Yet here he was again, though this time on a couch. He would've thought it was his own, had he not decided to sit up and see Izaya spinning away at his desk.

"Glad you could finally join us, Shizu-chan," The informant called, continuing to swivel around, halting after a while.

"What happened this time?"

Izaya let out a small chuckle. "I found you unconscious when I left Shinra's. That's all there is to it."

When Shizuo didn't reply, Izaya continued. "Besides, you seem to want answers so desperately about what happened the first time. So, I figured, let's make a compromise."

Shizuo snorted. "A compromise with you is more like making a gamble."

"Oh ye of little faith," Izaya grinned, standing up and making his way towards the other man. "Now, are you going to listen to what I have to say, or not?"

"Go ahead," Shizuo muttered.

"Very well then. In exchange for you getting your answer, you will do as I say until I decide I don't need you."

Shizuo rolled his eyes. "Like I said; a gamble."

"Oh, Shizu-chan," Izaya snickered. "It'd be no fun if all in life was fair! You must be really unwilling to get your answer now, hmm?"

"How do I know this isn't another one of your sick jokes?"

"Good question, actually," Izaya grinned, appearing almost innocent for a moment, had it not been for his tone. "Nonetheless, it'll be fun!"

"Easy for you to say," Shizuo grumbled, turning to walk away. He flinched when he felt Izaya's hand on his shoulder, unable to turn around.

"Clock is ticking, protozoan. Might want to make up your mind."

Shizuo remained frozen, differing thoughts rushing all throughout his mind. With Izaya involved, who knew what would happen if he gave either answer. His life would still have a bit of hell either way.

After letting out a deep breath, he finally spoke. "Fine."

Izaya looked a bit dumbfounded, obviously taken aback. "Well then," he started, smirk returning to his face. "This will be interesting."

"Yeah, _interesting_," Shizuo grumbled.

"Really, Shizu-chan, it's not that difficult. You're making such a fuss," Izaya chided, spinning around at his desk once again.

"You would be too if this was the other way around," Shizuo muttered, narrowing his eyes.

Izaya simply grinned, halting his chair in front of his computer, turning it on and instantly typing away.

"You're not going to be a lazy-ass all day, I see," Shizuo commented, interally humored by his statement. Not that he would show that in front of the flea.

Izaya chuckled. "Of course not. It would be a natural disaster if I told you to do my job. Besides, I don't need you breaking my computer."

"Well, now that you mention it…" Shizuo smirked.

"Shizu-chan!"

"Relax. Last thing I need is more money to pay off."

Izaya raised an eyebrow. "Might want to keep that in mind next time I'm in Ikebukuro, ne?"

"Shut up."

"Last time I checked, it was you doing what I say. Not the other way around."

"Smartass," Shizuo muttered. "What do you want me to do, then?"

Izaya grinned. "Nice to see some enthusiasm around here. Now, I actually need a bit of shopping done. I'm desperately low on fatty tuna…" The informant suppressed a dramatic sigh, flashing Shizuo a look that would've made him look almost normal, was he not Izaya Orihara.

Shizuo blinked. "Fatty tuna? You mean to tell me that's what you live off of?"

"You're one to talk, eating all that pudding."

"Tch."

"Don't 'tch' me."

"Tch." Shizuo smiled, turning away as he did so. _Are we actually...getting along? He thought, smile fading at the thought. No, don't give into him. This is the flea, after all. Not Tom, not Kasuka._

"Something wrong, Shizu-chan?"

The debt collector flinched as Izaya spoke, snapping back out of his thoughts. "No, I'm fine. May as well go get your damn tuna now."

"Excellent," Izaya said, tossing his wallet over. "Spend all my money and you'll be six feet under."

"Not gonna happen. Your blood's gonna be on my hands first, louse." Shizuo took the wallet, opening the door and walking away just as Izaya called, "You wish!"

The thought of taking the informant's money and running back to Ikebukuro crossed Shizuo's mind, but he dismissed it. That was stooping a bit too low, and he wanted to be the better man here. After all, he needed answers. He could always force them out, should something go wrong in the end. He was Shizuo Heiwajima after all, and being bossed around by a flea wasn't exactly his forte.

However, he was somewhat doubting himself. While he did want to be the better person, why was he letting Izaya, of all people, do this? There had to be some sort of twist - something he absolutely did not want.

_Damn flea…_ Shizuo sighed, walking towards a grocery store he had spotted. _If he tries anything, I _will_ kill him._

Izaya sat scrolling through quite a few emails that he had received in the past few days, smirk turning into a blank look as he finished reading. Business was picking up again for certain, which was both a good and bad thing, the informant supposed.

"I love my humans, but with Namie on vacation..." Izaya paused with a sigh. "What am I saying? Don't even tell me I've grown accustomed to her as well."

His phone buzzed at his statement, and he flipped it open to see a new text from Shinra.

[How's he doing?]

Izaya rolled his eyes. [You worry too much. He seems absolutely fine. Then again, he was already lacking a few brain cells, so I can't really see a difference.]

[Not funny, Izaya!]

[Well, I think it's hilarious. Besides the point, he did seem a little more...content, today. He hasn't tried to kill me yet.]

[Really? That's great news! Maybe he's finally learning to control his anger.]

[Don't hold your breath.]

Shizuo walked in then and Izaya closed his phone, lighting up as he saw the bags set down in his kitchen. "Good, I'm starving!"

"There, I bought your tuna. I realized that as scrawny as you are, though, you probably don't eat a lot, so I did get a few more things."

Izaya smirked. "How sweet. Shizu-chan actually cares about my health."

"You wish," Shizuo grumbled. "I don't want to kill you when you're some weak little thing. Honestly, I'm amazed you're still standing."

_Maybe he's finally learning to control his anger._ Shinra's words echoed in Izaya's mind, eyes narrowing at the thought of it. _He's still a monster. And I'd hardly call this control; I just haven't provoked him enough yet._

"What, out of smart remarks for the day?" Shizuo smirked. "I think we have a new record here."

Izaya's expression darkened. "Just put the bags away," he snapped, grabbing a can of tuna and returning to his desk.

Shizuo blinked, doing as he was told. _When did we change personalities?_ It definitely struck him as odd; Izaya was never bothered by anything, it seemed. Then again, why should he worry?

Once he was finished putting everything away, Shizuo realized just how hungry he actually was. One wrong move, however, and who knew what Izaya would do, especially if he didn't seem to be in his normal mood.

"You can eat, if you want," Izaya said, taking Shizuo aback. The blonde simply nodded, taking a can of tuna and taking back his place on the couch.

The two ate in almost complete silence, save for Izaya typing away yet again as he finished his tuna. Shizuo just sat, feeling a bit awkward, if anything. He gave a quick glance towards the clock, letting out a small sigh. _It's already one. I would've already finished lunch with Tom by now._ Not that he had to worry about his job at the moment, either. Tom was generous enough to give him the summer off, being paid about half his normal salary, considering he had quite a bit of debt to pay off for all the property damage.

_Damn. If I could get paid for doing this…_ Shizuo gazed over at Izaya, the raven-haired man completely entranced in his work.

"So, is there anything else you need me to do?"

Izaya didn't look away from his screen. "Nothing I can think of, actually. As much as I hate to say it, I think I'm done with you for the day."

Shizuo flinched. "You're serious?"

"You sound offended."

"No, I was just wondering…" Shizuo trailed off, still taken by surprise with the informant's previous statement.

"Leave," Izaya said flatly, still not looking at the other man.

Shizuo simply nodded, confused by the entire ordeal, but nonetheless a little happy to be leaving. So, without another word, he left, confusion taking over him still as he walked back to Ikebukuro. He had forgotten all about the deal, and it wouldn't take him until he made it back to scream, "That bastard!" at thin air.

_Probably wouldn't get answers out of him now anyway. S_hizuo thought as he returned to his own apartment.

Back in Izaya's, the informant grabbed his phone shortly after Shizuo left and texted Shinra, even though he yet to get a response after his last one.

[I don't think it's Shizuo that's acting off. I think it's me.]

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><p><strong>author's note~<strong>

It's finally here~! Sorry for making you all wait this many days. My weekend didn't go exactly as planned, but hey, the chapter's here now, right? I would like to update a bit quicker than this, so I'll work on it. I'd like for it to be two chapters out a week, and hopefully it will get there; maybe more if I get in a good writing mood. ^^

Sorry it's pretty dialogue-heavy. My chapters aren't usually like this, but this is just one of those chapters, I suppose. These first few chapters are going to be a little slow, but set up the story nonetheless.

Also, thank you to everyone who has favorited, followed, and reviewed! Seeing that you have brings a smile and encourages me to keep on writing.

See you in the next chapter~!


	3. Side Effects

**chapter three - side effects**

Sleepless nights were always the worst.

Izaya was used to them, commonly staying up late on the Dollars chat or doing something work-related. Shizuo, on the other hand, rarely had these nights.

Had he been an average person, he probably would've woken up with the worst of headaches. His unnatural ability didn't stop him from desperately needing sleep, however. Shizuo had ended up staying up all night thinking on what was happening with Izaya, as he now had two reasons to be concerned.

Concerned. Was that even the right word?

No, of course it wasn't. Shizuo wouldn't be concerned.

Meanwhile, Izaya was concerned for himself, at least, which was definitely a foreign concept. He tried to excuse it as Shizuo rubbing off on him the day before, but that was hardly a logical explanation.

_Damn protozoan._

_Damn flea. _

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><p>Izaya sat at his desk, almost expressionless as he recalled his conversation with Shinra from the previous night.<p>

_[You think you're feeling off? That's a little concerning. Unless...Shizuo's rubbing off on you.]_

_[I'd like to say I doubt that, but.]_

_[But…?]_

_[It seems a little likely, at least. Which honestly makes no sense.]_

_[Heh.]_

_[What're you laughing at?]_

_[Nothing, sorry. Really, though, if Shizuo's rubbing off on you, then you must be doing the same to him. This could mean something…]_

_[Shinra, you bastard. I'm not having this discussion with you again.]_

_[And I don't want to argue with you again. Honestly, Izaya; think about it.]_

The informant had yet to respond to the last text, seeing it as a bit unnecessary. Of course he had thought about it, though. That was a given. Maybe the two were rubbing off on each other after all these years, and maybe they weren't. There were endless possibilities as to what could be happening, and Izaya was a tad curious. Quite similar to how Shizuo wanted to know what happened now three nights ago.

"Three nights, huh," Izaya mused, twiddling his thumbs. He, of course, knew what happened, and only him. Nothing unusual considering his line of work. Even still, the knowledge left him with a weight that could damage the two of them either way. Yet a small part of the man wanted him to bring it up, settle things once and for all.

But, for once, Izaya Orihara simply didn't have the courage. At least, he wouldn't go that far.

It was a touchy subject, that's all, right? Though he dealt with touchy subjects. This was probably affecting him more because the subject dealt with him, maybe.

"Stop it," Izaya muttered to himself. "You're being ridiculous."

The informant stood up, beginning to pace around his apartment, thoughts refusing to halt. "In all honesty, though, anything could happen, should I tell him. He could accuse me of lying. Attempt to kill me. Or…" he paused, pressing his head against the wall. "Dammit! You're not going to conquer me, monster. I won't allow it. I'm supposed to control you, though that seems to be the most difficult task. You're so unlike my humans, and I hate that…"

"You hate that, huh."

"Shizu-chan. Barge right into my apartment uninvited, why don't you." Izaya spat, turning around to see the other man in the doorway.

"I see someone's still moody," Shizuo replied calmly.

Izaya narrowed his eyes. "Listen, I don't know what's going on, but you may as well quit the act. I'll say it again; I'm done with you for now."

"You didn't keep your end of the deal, as expected." Shizuo retorted, the last bit coming out as a mumble.

"You and that deal. Honestly, it's becoming an unhealthy obsession."

"I have a right to know," Shizuo growled, approaching the other man.

_'Learning to control his anger.' I told you, Shinra._ Izaya thought, backing up against the wall, searching his pockets for his switchblade. Of course, there sat his trademark jacket on the other side of the room. _Shit._

_I could kill him right here and now…_ Shizuo froze at the thought while Izaya had been searching around. _Thing is, do I want that? It would just further justify his claims of me being a monster…_

The two rivals locked gazes then, neither speaking a word until Izaya decided to break the silence.

"Fine, Shizuo," The smaller man began, Shizuo flinching at the use of his actual name, also at the fact that Izaya was mere inches away from his face. Before Shizuo could react, Izaya leaned in and kissed him - quickly, though Shizuo thought it could've been much quicker.

"There, you have your answer," Izaya said as he pulled away, expression unchanged. "And before you get any ideas, it was you that kissed me."

"What the…" Shizuo breathed, staring at Izaya in disbelief. "You can't be serious."

Izaya raised an eyebrow. "Do you think I would've kissed you for fun?"

Shizuo didn't reply, still completely dumbfounded with the whole situation. He wasn't even entirely sure what his reaction was. Obviously, he was shocked - and a little disgusted - should what had been said be true. However, there was also the thought that Izaya could be lying, showing that he was back to his normal self. This certainly wasn't normal.

"I'll take that as a no," Izaya said, slipping underneath Shizuo's arm and making his way back over to his desk. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have some work to get back to."

Well, he seems normal enough right now. I guess. Shizuo thought, giving the informant one last glance before walking out.

Izaya let out a sigh as the door closed, flopping back into his seat and turning his monitor on. _Honestly, what is wrong with me? I feel so different, and I'm not liking this at all. _

The raven-haired man hesitated for a moment, but decided on grabbing his phone, quickly texting Shinra. [Alright, I've thought about it. I'm honestly not in the mood right now, though. Something's wrong with me and it's not something usual.]

Shinra's reply came almost instantly. [Okay, I need to see this for myself. Can you come over right now?]

[On my way.]

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><p>It was days like this that made Shizuo wish he didn't have vacation days. He lay staring up at the ceiling, completely bored out of his mind. Sure, he could probably just stroll around the city, but considering who he was, it wasn't that simple. He didn't have a lot of people he could talk to, either. Everyone he thought of was probably working - of course.<p>

Everyone except Celty, thankfully.

Shizuo asked if the two could meet up somewhere, and so they met at the park, per usual.

[So, what did you want to talk about?] Celty typed as the two gazed out into the city.

"Nothing in particular," Shizuo replied, partially lying, though not entirely. He wasn't sure if he could bring what had happened up with her, even though he knew she'd listen. "I've had a pretty rough week is all. Besides, it's been a while since we've talked."

The dullahan nodded. [You know, Shizuo, if something's bothering you, you can tell me.]

Shizuo awkwardly ran a hand through his hair. "I know. It's the flea, that's all."

[Izaya? What did he do this time?]

"It's nothing."

[It doesn't seem like nothing.]

"Fine, you got me. I don't really want to talk about it right now, though. It's confusing, that's all."

[Well, whenever you're ready to tell me, I'm here.]

Shizuo smiled. "Thanks, Celty."

The two continued to talk for a while, Shizuo's mood most certainly lightening up. There were moments where he completely forgot about what had happened, just glad that he could have a mundane conversation with someone.

After about an hour or so, Celty's PDA beeped, and she turned towards Shizuo apologetically. [Sorry, I have a job to go do.]

"Don't apologize. I'll see you later, then."

[See you.] Celty gave a small wave, walking over to her motorcycle and riding off.

Shizuo was about to make way for his apartment when his own phone vibrated, pulling out to see a new text from Izaya. The blonde narrowed his eyes, wondering what he could possibly want.

[I have something I want to ask you.]

_That's it?_ Shizuo blinked, beginning to type out his response.

[Go for it.]

[You're on unpaid vacation now, yes?]

[Not exactly unpaid, but yeah. What's it to you?]

[Namie's on vacation as well. I was wondering if you would maybe be my temporary secretary?]

_What the hell? _[Just what is going on, Izaya?]

[Answer the question.]

Shizuo sighed._ I could use the money…_ [Will you pay me?]

[Yes.]

The blonde was actually a bit shocked. Only problem was, was he really that desperate? Working for the flea? Then again, he probably had a lot of money. He could get a lot of his debts paid off.

_Dammit. I'm going to regret this._ [Fine. I'll be your secretary.]

* * *

><p><strong>author's note~<strong>

Behold, chapter three. xD And it's actually out a day earlier than I thought it would be~ /success

Anyway, sorry about all the errors in the last chapter. I've fixed the majority of them at this point, but there will have to be some small re-writing. I hopefully have everything all set in this chapter. Again, pretty dialogue-heavy with not much happening, but we're slowly getting there.

As always, favorite and follow if you like this, and review~! I can't get better without knowing what you all are thinking. ^^

See you in chapter four~!


	4. Second Impressions

**chapter four - second impressions**

No timeframes, no nothing.

After Shizuo accepted, Izaya hadn't given him another word, leaving the man to merely assume that he started the very next day, and that he should probably get there early.

"Are you going to keep barging into my apartment or what?" Izaya called, out of sight when Shizuo walked inside.

Shizuo rolled his eyes. "Would you rather I bang your door down instead?"

The informant appeared from around the corner then, putting a piece of fatty tuna in his mouth before smirking. "Touche."

Shizuo raised an eyebrow. "You eat that for breakfast, too?"

Izaya nodded, grabbing another from his counter. "Problem?"

"I bought you other stuff for a reason, flea."

"Is that genuine concern I see?"

"Again, shut up," Shizuo grumbled.

Izaya chuckled. "Telling your boss what to do on your first day will get you nowhere."

_At least he's back to normal now,_ Shizuo thought, letting out a small huff. "Just tell me what I need to do, _boss_."

Izaya shook his head, chuckling to himself. "Tsk. I'll admit, you came earlier than I thought you would," he began, twirling past the other man. "I haven't turned my computer on yet."

"So you don't live on there all morning," Shizuo commented. "Thought for sure you wasted every minute you could get ruining peoples' lives."

"Hurtful, Shizu-chan," Izaya feigned shock, placing a hand over his heart. "Maybe I should reconsider this."

"By 'this', I assume you mean your life choices?"

"I'm flattered you would think so, but no," Izaya replied, slipping his jacket on and plopping down in his seat. "Now, I do need to run out and get some things later, and I have three client meetings scheduled today. I would appreciate it if you don't demolish the place while I'm gone."

Shizuo merely nodded. "What do you want me to do right now?"

Izaya didn't reply for a minute, shrugging a moment later. "I'm not sure, actually. You might not be angry right now, but I don't want you anywhere near my computer or files, should you turn into a brute."

"So I have to prove myself first."

"Yes," Izaya said, smirking at the thought. "Think of this as a replacement for an interview."

_Like an interview, huh. Well, this ought to be interesting._

When Shizuo didn't respond, Izaya continued. "So, I assume you're not backing out?"

Shizuo shook his head. "Nope."

"Good luck, then," Izaya snickered. _You're going to need it. Even if you have seemed to lighten up, plus that, you're still a brute._

Shizuo rolled his eyes. "Yeah, whatever."

Izaya didn't respond, typing away yet again as he set up his tabs for the day.

Shizuo merely gazed around for a moment, a sense of awkwardness coming over him. Why would Izaya ask him to do this if he had nothing in particular for him to do? _He's got to be planning something. He always is._ The blonde wanted to ask - yet again - if there was anything he could do, but decided to keep his mouth shut. Instead, another thought came to him then.

_He wants me to prove myself? Okay then. May as well start by showing I'm not always a monster…_ He internally sighed then, uncomfortably looking down at his hands. _If that's possible around him._

Shutting himself up, Shizuo made his way into Izaya's small kitchen, thinking over what he had bought the other day and what the man already had.

Izaya had averted his attention then, head cocked in question. "Shizu-chan, what are you doing?"

"What's it look like?" Shizuo muttered. "Making you a proper breakfast, for starters. Honestly, does this Namie chick help you out at all?"

Izaya chuckled. "She's mainly here for commentary, so I guess not."

"Well, flea, in case you haven't noticed, you look like an anorexic schoolgirl. How often do you even eat?"

The other man didn't reply. _He's really pushy about this, isn't he?_ After that, he didn't bother to pay any more attention, finishing up the work he needed for his meetings later. He found his gaze wandering towards Shizuo often, however, surprised at the fact he hadn't broken anything yet.

The two continued on like this for some time, and after what seemed to be a long while, Izaya looked up to see Shizuo placing a few bowls down beside his computer. His eyes widened at the shock of seeing a whole breakfast in front of him, leaving him to turn to Shizuo in question.

"Why?"

Shizuo merely shrugged, though Izaya knew he had a reason.

"Thanks, I guess," Izaya concluded, waiting until Shizuo turned away to pick at a bowl of miso soup, almost spitting it out in shock. _He can actually cook?_

Shizuo was facing him again as he retook his spot on the couch, eyebrow raised. "Izaya?"

Izaya flinched, finishing the bit he had before speaking. "What?"

"Just eat," Shizuo muttered, checking his phone to distract himself.

Izaya simply nodded, finishing up the meal as he continued his work, leaving Shizuo to sit in silence for quite some time.

"Well, Shizu-chan, who knew," The informant commented, Shizuo looking at him in question. "I'm surprised, you can actually cook. Though, it's making you look like more of a housewife than anything."

_A housewife?!_ Shizuo narrowed his eyes, clenching his fists. _Maybe if you gave me actual secretary duties…hell, do you even need a secretary?_

Izaya smirked. "Now, now, Shizu-chan. Might want to calm down."

Shizuo unclenched his fists, relaxing them at his sides. _Damn, he got me there._ "So, when exactly are your meetings?"

Izaya blinked, checking the time before looking back at Shizuo. "A little less than two hours from now. Why? Plotting my apartment's demise already?"

Shizuo rolled his eyes, getting up and making his way over towards the informant. Izaya, unsure of what he was going to do, placed a hand in his pocket, just in case.

"Relax, I'm not going to kill you," Shizuo muttered, looking over at the screen, the Dollars chat pulled up. "You're not even working."

"That's because I finished my work for now, protozoan," Izaya replied, greeting everyone that was there at the moment.

"So you spend your free time screwing with people's lives over the internet. Wonderful," Shizuo sighed, reading through the conversation. Before Izaya had a chance to respond, Shizuo continued on. "Wait, is your avatar a girl?"

Izaya grinned. "I'm anonymous - stuff like that doesn't matter."

"I say you're just gender-confused."

"Funny," Izaya said, reading through the little bit of conversation that just popped up.

"Do you even know who any of these people are?"

Izaya nodded. "Stupid question; of course I do. Setton is Celty, Taro Tanaka is Mikado Ryugamine, Bakyura is Masaomi Kida, Kyo and Mai are, sadly, my sisters, and Saika is Anri Sonohara."

Shizuo blinked, not recognizing a few of the names, also surprised to hear that Celty was a part of the chat. "So you mess with the people you're close to just as much as anyone." _Why am I not surprised._

"Close to?" Izaya laughed. "Aside from my sisters, I'm really only close to Celty, I suppose. Besides, I'm actually more helpful than you think on here."

"Likely story."

"You doubt me that much?" Izaya asked, attempting to give him an innocent look.

Shizuo huffed. "Knowing you for as long as I have, yes. Plus, you doubt me."

"You're a monster," was Izaya's response.

_Like we're that different from each other…_ Shizuo thought, alerted by the mention of it. Now that he thought about it, were they really that different from one another? He was a monster in terms of strength, and he was fairly certain that someone had to have called Izaya a monster at one point in his life, considering he practically manipulated people for a living. _No, there's no way. He's a flea - we can't be alike._

"Looks like I hit home," Izaya murmured, snapping Shizuo out of his thoughts. The blonde didn't reply, continuing to stay by Izaya's side, reading through the chat until the other man logged out, turning to face him.

"Well, it's about time for the first meeting," he said, pushing his chair back and standing up, almost hitting Shizuo as he stretched. "How about you come along? You're obviously bored out of your mind here."

Shizuo shrugged. "Sure."

"I need to do a bit of shopping first, anyway, so that'll give you something to do," Izaya continued, walking over to the door, Shizuo following behind him.

Shizuo flinched as he stepped out, noticing that it was definitely heating up compared to when he arrived. He gave a questioning look towards Izaya, who began skipping down the street, coat trailing behind him. "Don't you ever get hot in that?" he called out.

"Don't you ever get hot in that bartender suit?" Izaya called back, not looking back.

Shizuo looked down at himself for a moment. _You know, I am on vacation after all, and it is summer. I guess it wouldn't hurt to go casual for a while._ He realized then how far ahead Izaya was, running to catch up to him. "Flea, slow down!"

Izaya turned around, grin plastered on his face as he sprinted ahead. "Giving up before we even start?"

Shizuo chuckled to himself, picking up speed as he gazed out into Shinjuku. _I guess this isn't so bad. _

* * *

><p><strong>author's note~<strong>

Phew, I made it on time! I thought for sure I wasn't going to finish this chapter when I wanted to. As some of you could probably tell already, I'm trying to follow a Wednesday/Sunday update pattern. It was coincidental at first, but I decided to keep it considering they're both pretty good days to update.

Now, I wanted to take the time to say this, just so I don't leave you guys waiting without an explanation. I'm going on vacation very soon, and it's very likely that I won't have a lot of wi-fi. Plus, the drive there and back is long, so that gives me plenty of time to write. I already have the basics for the next few chapters planned out, and I will hopefully get a few chapters done. I'm going to wait until I return home to post them, however, so I can make some edits, but they will be up hopefully the day after I get back. I'm _hoping_ to get chapters 5-7 done at least, maybe 8 as well, but you never know with me. Those would make up for all the updates I'll be missing, at least. ^^ Thanks for understanding.

And as always, thank you for the favorites, follows, and reviews~! I love seeing you guys leave feedback, whether it's about something that needs to be edited (which I really appreciate - there are some things I just don't catch) or that you can't wait for the next update. c:

Also, just another little note; yes, this is still a slow chapter. I thought things would pick up a bit this time around, but not much aside from the introduction of Shizuo as Izaya's secretary. I assure you, something is going to happen in the next chapter, and in future chapters as well. cx

So, I'll see you when I get back~!


	5. Blindsided

**chapter five - blindsided**

Throughout the week, Shizuo was somehow able to remain optimistic. Of course the flea still got under his skin, but it was better than sitting at home alone with nothing to do.

He had followed through with his thought about going casual, trading in his bartender getup for a plain blue-gray t-shirt and black shorts, surprising Izaya when he walked in the next day.

"Well, Shizu-chan, you'll never stop surprising me, will you?" Izaya had said.

"Guess not."

And he did. Shizuo continued showing up for the rest of the week, much to Izaya's surprise, even though he didn't do all that much. He figured Izaya was taking it easy for the time being before throwing all sorts of tasks at him later on. The first week was pretty smooth, though Izaya's schedule was quite cramped, leaving Shizuo to wander around town the majority of the day. He still wasn't allowed to touch Izaya's computers, which he supposed was a little fair, given the circumstances.

Each day, still, Shizuo asked if there was anything he could do. Izaya's answer was always "Nothing I can think of."

He began doubting the informant because of this, but money was money, especially after he had spent a bit buying new clothes. So, he stayed, and Izaya was okay with it, strangely. He didn't spend a whole lot of time in the apartment though, considering Izaya was almost always out.

There was one day Shizuo didn't leave Izaya's apartment, though, when Izaya had run off to Shinra's.

_Didn't you just go a couple days ago?_ Shizuo thought it over, thinking that something was going on. Izaya wasn't exactly the kind of person who just stopped by and visited people casually. He always had his reasons. _Forget it. Unless he's doing something suspicious, it really isn't of your concern, right?_

Shizuo sighed, getting up and pouring himself a glass of milk. It was strange these days, though, being somewhat calmer. Izaya was probably waiting for the right moment to provoke him, however.

Speaking of the flea, Shizuo heard a phone ring in the distance, walking over to Izaya's desk and shifting through it. He really left without his phone? Shizuo finally found it, pulling it out and seeing the name "Shiki" flash on the screen. Shrugging to himself, Shizuo put the phone back in its place; heaven forbid he touch any electronics of Izaya's.

Shortly after the ringing stopped, a different ringtone sounded from farther away. Shizuo raised an eyebrow, walking towards the ringing, and sure enough, there was another phone - phones, actually.

_How many phones does he need?_ Shizuo rolled his eyes, making his way back towards the couch, pulling his own phone out of boredom, though he had nothing there to respond to.

Another one of Izaya's phones rang after a while, Shizuo frowning at the sound. Izaya was definitely going to have a bit to answer to when he got back.

Shizuo thought he could have a moment of silence when yet another phone rang, leaving him to growl in annoyance until realizing it was his own. Letting out a small sigh, he chugged a bit of milk down before answering, smiling at the caller ID.

"Hey, Kasuka."

_"Hello, nii-san,"_ Kasuka replied in his usual monotone, though Shizuo could hear a smile in his words.

"How's filming?"

_"Good. We're taking a break for a few days, so I thought I'd fly back over."_

"Great!" Shizuo grinned. "Do you want to meet up somewhere?"

_"Hmm...Sunshine 60, maybe? I'll get here on Sunday, if you're free."_

"I'll have to ask, but I'm pretty sure I can."

_"See you then."_

Shizuo closed his phone, content knowing that he would be able to see his brother soon. It had been a while since he had last seen him - a good two or three months - with Kasuka flying all the way to America for this role.

Izaya walked in just then, striding over to Shizuo with his usual smirk, though Shizuo could see that he wasn't looking too good. "I'll assume you were good, Shizu-chan?"

"Tch. Your apartment looks the same, right?"

"I suppose," Izaya replied, setting his jacket on his chair and taking his usual place.

"Hey, a couple people called while you were out."

Izaya turned back towards him. "You didn't answer, did you?"

Shizuo shook his head. "Nah. I'm off to a good start; didn't want to piss you off now. Oh, and Kasuka called. He wanted to know if we could meet up on Sunday."

"Go ahead," was Izaya's simple reply as he grabbed the phone in his desk, walking away just as he said, "Shiki. To what do I owe this pleasure?"

Shizuo sighed, staring around the apartment absentmindedly, giving a look towards the TV. _He wouldn't kill me for this, right? Not like there's anything else to do._ A bit skeptical, he grabbed the remote and started flipping through the channels.

Izaya came back out sometime later, chuckling as he saw Shizuo lounging around. "Job getting too boring for you?"

"Well, you seemed to be a little pre-occupied. Besides, your TV isn't your precious computer."

"True," Izaya replied, sitting on the opposite end of the couch. "Speaking of which, I have a couple more meetings to get through. Do you want to come with me?"

Shizuo bliked. "Sure. Nothing really good is on now, anyway."

"Who knew a monster would have high expectations?"

"Still surprising you, I see."

"An unpredictable one, you are," Izaya said as he stood back up. "We should probably head out now. I have a good six meetings from Ikebukuro to Shibuya."

Shizuo's eyes widened. "Damn. Quite the schedule."

Izaya chuckled, making his way towards the door, Shizuo following after. "Business is picking up."

The informant started skipping away per usual, with Shizuo attempting to catch up to him. "Flea!"

"What, I'm on a tight schedule!" Izaya called back.

Sure enough, the meetings were packed in, with Izaya taking the meetings in Ikebukuro first to save time, though still cutting some short. Shibuya was next, leaving the two with one last meeting in Shinjuku. Shizuo was somewhat wishing Izaya had a car, though the walk didn't bother him all that much. Still, not like it would be him behind the wheel and they'd wrap up faster.

"Come on, Shizu-chan! There's just one left. You won't die of exhaustion," Izaya chided, skipping along, seemingly full of breath.

Shizuo didn't reply, simply following behind the other man. Izaya wasted no time, almost.

Finally they reached the meeting place, and Shizuo instantly noticed something a little off. All of Izaya's other clients had met him at places such as their own homes or at restaurants, but this one in particular met in just the general area, two other men alongside him.

Izaya seemed to notice nothing of it. "Mr. Nakamura, I presume?"

"Mr. Orihara."

From beside Izaya, Shizuo noticed something just barely sticking out of the man's pocket, blending it with the slowly darkening environment. _Is that…_

"Now about your-"

Without another moment to think or even hesitate, Shizuo's assumption was proven correct as all three men pulled out guns, firing at Izaya - though Shizuo had autonomously jumped in front of him. The men shot repeatedly and from behind him, Izaya watched Shizuo fall to the ground, blood pooling out. Before Izaya could react, he felt himself sinking towards the ground as well, blood seeping down his shoulder and side.

"Bastards!" he yelled after the men, watching them run off as he clutched his side. With his free hand, he searched his pockets frantically for his phone, only to find that it wasn't there. _Dammit, I forgot again!_ He then inched closer to Shizuo, searching through his pockets to find his phone. Letting out a sigh of relief, Izaya held the phone to his ear, and with no preamble saying, "Shinra, I need you to come quick."

_"Izaya? What's going on?"_

"Shizuo and I both got shot," Izaya rasped, vision going a bit blurry now. "We're outside…" he paused, looking towards the building they were beside. "Ishikawa, I think."

_"I'm on my way!"_

Izaya smiled in slight reassurance, taking in one last breath before closing his eyes and welcoming the darkness.


	6. Consequences

**chapter six - consequences**

Shizuo awoke soon after the almost forgotten incident, about having a heart attack when he noticed Shinra's face mere inches from his own.

"Good, you're awake," The underground doctor said, giving Shizuo a smile as the blonde sat up.

"What happened…?" Shizuo asked, looking around to see not his apartment, or Izaya's, but that it was in fact Shinra's. He glanced down for a moment to see his clothes stained with blood, bandages all over him. "Was I shot again?" he mused, thinking back to what happened.

Shinra nodded. "You and Izaya both. You both sustained some fair damage, though, knowing you, you'll be back on your feet in no time."

"And the flea?"

"He'll need a bit of recovery time," Shinra started, adjusting his glasses. "He was shot in both the abdomen and shoulder, though it could be a lot worse. How did this happen, anyway?"

"Izaya and I headed out for some client meetings. When we made it to the last one, though, the guy and two others were armed and were obviously aiming to kill him. They started firing, so I guess out of instinct, I jumped in front of him."

Shinra grinned. "Nice to see your heart was in the right place."

Shizuo rolled his eyes. "Whatever."

"Really, Shizuo. He would've most likely died had you not been there."

Shizuo didn't respond, gazing over to see Izaya on the couch across from him, still unconscious. _So I really saved his life._ He frowned at the thought. _This week really has been a mess, if it's making me save the flea._ What concerned him more, however, was how peaceful Izaya looked. In place of his usual smirk, he was almost expressionless, though his lips were slowly curving into a smile.

"When do you suppose he'll wake up?"

"Probably not for a couple hours. He lost a lot of blood, and as I said, he will need a bit of recovery, whether he likes it or not. He doesn't take good care of himself."

Shizuo nodded. "Isn't that the truth."

"Oh, that's right. You're his secretary now," Shinra grinned, poking his arm. "Are you at a truce or something?"

"I really don't know myself," Shizuo sighed. "This week's been odd."

"Well, if you want to talk about it, you can."

Shizuo gave a small smile, thinking back to when Celty told him the same. "Thing is, I don't know how to explain it. All I can say is that both of us have been acting off."

Shinra merely nodded, turning away. "Well, I was hoping you'd stay until Izaya wakes up, that way you can make sure he's fine. Is that okay?"

"I'll do what I have to, I suppose. I haven't done too shabby of a job this week."

Shinra chuckled. "You are both still alive, so that's a good sign."

The door opened the, Shinra grinning like a maniac as Celty appeared in the doorway. "Celt-" Shinra was cut off from his greeting as the dullahan nudged him aside, frantically pulling out her PDA.

[What happened?!]

Shinra wrapped his arms around her, trying to stop her from shaking. "Don't worry; everything should be fine."

Celty pulled away, typing again. [Still, what happened?]

Shinra retold the story then, gesturing towards the still unconscious Izaya and Shizuo, who gave her an awkward wave.

Celty calmed down a bit, approaching Shizuo. [You actually saved his life. That was pretty noble of you.]

Shizuo could see the teasing smile in her words, scratching the back of his neck. It was extremely weird being praised by his friends, considering who he was and that he saved Izaya, of all people.

"Izaya might not be the best person, but we wouldn't really be the same without him," Shinra said, as if reading his thoughts. Beside him, Celty nodded her helmet in agreement before taking it off.

"Now can I welcome you home?" Shinra grinned, Celty punching him in the gut before hugging him.

Shizuo smiled at the two before gazing back towards Izaya, who had stirred a bit, but not much. _Who knew the flea could look so defenseless?_

Shinra and Celty decided to take a seat next to Shizuo, the three making smalltalk for the time being. Shinra checked on Izaya after a while, saying that he should wake up soon, as it had been a good three and a half hours since they had been shot.

"You definitely got hit worse than the last time, I'll say that. Not that it's a problem, though," Shinra continued on. "Still, it makes me wonder still what the extent of your strength is. If I could just-"

"No," Shizuo grumbled, already knowing what was coming.

"I tried," Shinra pouted, Celty laughing beside him as she placed her hand just over his, the smile coming back to his face. It left a bit of a silence in the group, however.

Finally, Izaya sat up, clutching his side as he looked over at the group, muttering to himself.

"Welcome back, Izaya," Shinra said, walking over to him. "Take it easy."

Izaya didn't answer, simply looking at Shinra with an irritated expression.

"How badly does it hurt?" Shinra pressed on.

Izaya started to shrug, lowering his right arm as he did so, holding onto his shoulder. "Eh…"

"Quite a bit, I assume," Shinra said, earning a glare from the informant. "Well, it's going to be that way for a while."

"How long is a while?"

"About a month, maybe longer."

Izaya sighed. "Wonderful."

"Well, you have Shizuo to help you out, and if the pain gets any worse, I'm always here to help," Shinra reassured him with a small smile. "You know, had he not been there, you might be dead right now."

Izaya huffed, turning to look at Shizuo with the same dark expression. "As if. I could've defended myself."

"You with your little switchblade against three armed men. Right," Shizuo muttered.

Izaya looked away. "Let's just go back to my place."

Shizuo nodded, looking back towards Shinra and Celty. "Thanks."

[Anytime.]

* * *

><p>Izaya was quiet on the walk back to Shinjuku, keeping pace with Shizuo this time.<p>

"What, no skipping?" Shizuo teased, earning a glare from Izaya.

"Obviously not, protozoan," the informant replied, though he wasn't as terse as Shizuo expected him to be.

"What, you got shot and you let that stop you?"

Izaya froze. _What exactly are you getting at, Shizuo? First you save me, and now this…_

"Just because I'm not skipping doesn't mean I won't be back at work tomorrow."

"In all honesty, though, you really should take a break."

Izaya looked up at him, laughing until his side began hurting again, instantly holding onto it again. "Me? Take a break?"

Shizuo nodded. "Shinra suggested it."

"And do you always listen to what Shinra says?" Izaya questioned, eyebrow raised.

"Well, no," Shizuo started, being cut off by the other man.

"Exactly. Now, I'll tell you one last time; I'm not taking a break."

"Izaya," Shizuo started, stopping and turning to face him. "You have bags under your eyes, you barely eat, and, not to mention, you smell like shit. You just don't take good care of yourself."

"Why do you care?" Izaya asked softly.

Shizuo didn't answer, not even knowing the answer himself. He had asked himself the very question several times throughout the night, but he couldn't really come up with an answer. Everything just seemed to be going downhill at this rate.

The two eventually made their way back to Izaya's, the informant shrugging his coat off when they stepped inside.

"Poor thing," Izaya sighed. "Hopefully all the blood will wash out."

"You really love that jacket, huh."

"Just like how you love that bartender getup. Unlike you, however, this jacket is one of a kind," Izaya replied, making his way towards his desk, stopping when Shizuo grasped his arm.

Shizuo sighed. "Flea, it's one in the morning."

"So? Run along home then, Shizu-chan."

"Idiot," Shizuo muttered, turning to walk away, stopping when Izaya continued.

"Do you not want to know who's responsible for this?"

"I thought you had his name."

"It was an alias."

"So, does this mean you have no idea who he is?" Shizuo was getting a bit more interested at this point.

Izaya shook his head. "Not exactly."

"Maybe he's in with the Yakuza?"

Izaya laughed. "The Yakuza may have a bone to pick with me, but I know this isn't their doing. Still, it really makes me wonder. They were obviously out to murder me, having information on me, though not you, so they must have been foreigners. I suspected by their looks as well. With them using Japanese aliases, however, it might be difficult to uncover who they are and who they work for. But the more important question is how I didn't see this coming."

"Guess that leaves a scratch in your god complex."

Izaya narrowed his eyes. "This is just a minor setback. I'm still alive, aren't I? I'm going to figure this out," he concluded, sitting down in his chair and turning his monitor back on.

Shizuo frowned. "Izaya…"

"Just go home, Shizu-chan," Izaya sighed. "I'll see you tomorrow."

As like the rest of the week, Shizuo did as he was told, reluctantly heading back towards Ikebukuro.


	7. Kickstart

**chapter seven - kickstart**

Shizuo regretted sleeping in late the next day - or, he could've at least stayed at Izaya's a little longer.

The informant was sitting with his head in his keyboard, obviously over exhausted. Shizuo let out a sigh at the sight, debating on whether or not he could wake him. He's got to be really tired.

Shizuo accidentally touched the mouse as he leaned against the desk, screen pulling up to an email draft. "Draft saved at 8:12 am," he read aloud, frowning. He scrolled over to check Izaya's history, and sure enough, he had been working seemingly nonstop since Shizuo had left.

As much as he tried not to, Shizuo couldn't help but begin to read through what Izaya had left up. He had too many tabs to even count, dragged and organized around the screen. One of them was a chatroom, though not the Dollars like last time.

"Izaya Orihara, reborn…?" Shizuo muttered to himself, starting to read through when he noticed Izaya stir beside him. Shit. He quickly pulled the email back up, starting to walk away.

"Ne...Shizu-chan?" Izaya said softly, lifting his head up.

"Hey, flea," Shizuo muttered back, standing beside him again.

Izaya rubbed his eyes, blinking at the bright screen. "It's almost ten, huh."

"I see you didn't get a lot of sleep."

"I had work to do."

"So your work's more important than your own health?"

Izaya didn't respond, reading through the email he had written.

"Honestly, Izaya, let someone else handle all this."

"There are no other informants in or near Tokyo. I'm the best - and only - one they have. I can't just walk out for a month."

Shizuo sighed. "At least let me help you."

Izaya burst into laughter, letting out a small cough. "You, help me? Now that's a sight to see."

"Izaya," Shizuo growled, slowly clenching his fists.

The informant frowned. "Aw, is someone getting mad?"

"Shut up. At least let me try."

"You're really taking this to heart, Shizu-chan," Izaya muttered. "Fine, I suppose. If you go on a rampage, however, it will be of your own accord."

Shizuo's expression softened. "Fair enough."

Izaya gave a solemn nod, springing out of his chair - only to cringe at the pain and try not to hold onto his side - and disappearing down the hall, coming back a few moments later with a laptop.

"Here," he said, placing it on the coffee table. "I suppose you can use this. Get one scratch on it, however, and I will be rethinking all of this."

Shizuo simply nodded, opening it and turning it on.

Izaya turned to go back to his desk, stopping and facing Shizuo again. "Actually, I don't have any of the information on file on yet. Unless you want to start the hard way."

Shizuo didn't answer, looking down at the keyboard.

"Tch," Izaya muttered. "As if your protozoan brain could handle all that. I'll go set the file up."

_Who's the stubborn bastard now?_ Shizuo watched the raven haired man disappear upstairs, giving the laptop one more glance, though he didn't touch it yet.

Izaya came back a while later, dropping the newly made file in front of him. "Here. Let's see you last ten minutes."

Shizuo took the file, opening it to see only a few sheets of paper. "For being up all night, you sure didn't find much."

Izaya was not happy with this. "As I said, just try lasting ten minutes with no experience. I at least know what I'm doing."

_Can't say the same for your health - mental and physical._ Shizuo thought, beginning to read through the papers.

"A possible underground organization, huh," Shizuo muttered.

"That's possibly linked with the Yakuza," Izaya confirmed. "It's only speculation, though if it is true, it makes things interesting."

Shizuo turned to face the informant. "Tell me, flea, how exactly are you involved with them?"

Izaya smirked. "All these years of assumptions and you finally ask."

Shizuo rolled his eyes. "Well, I don't want to find out later that you set this all up and you're secretly the head of all of the Yakuza."

Izaya laughed. "Like I would let this purposely happen to me. And I assure you, I'm not a leader. I know some of them."

"Some of them," Shizuo echoed. "Enlighten me."

"Ah ah ah. You can figure that out later. You simply asked how I'm involved."

"That can include who you're involved with, you know."

Izaya frowned. "An informant has his secrets."

"Fine, I'll drop it for now," Shizuo said, looking through the file again. "So you still haven't found his real name?"

"There's almost no trace. Most of the information is kept specifically to America, so it's a bit more difficult to find."

"It's not even hidden in with info on the Yakuza?"

Izaya shook his head. "Surprisingly not. Still; it makes this search interesting."

Shizuo merely nodded. You would think this stuff would come all too easy to him all the time. That is, he could be having a hard time from lack of sleep or something.

He finally finished reading through the file when Izaya asked, "Now, are you going to get to work?"

"Are you?"

Izaya simply glared at him.

"I was kidding. Just go to bed."

"Sure, to get ten minutes of sleep before you're banging down my door saying you quit."

"Likely story."

"Yes, quite likely. Though, I suppose we could make a deal."

Shizuo sighed. "Because those go so well."

"I gave you your answer in the end, didn't I?" Izaya asked curtly, raising an eyebrow.

Shizuo blinked, thinking back to the kiss, desperately trying to get it out of his head. _Dammit, you just had to bring that up._

Izaya huffed. "Now, let's say you find new information. If you do, I'll try to take a break. If you don't, then no break. Sound fair?"

"I guess."

"Good enough. You have one hour," Izaya concluded with a wave of his hand as he disappeared to his room.

_An hour…_ Shizuo thought, pulling up one of the browsers. _I can do this, right? Shouldn't be too hard. Though, if Izaya had a bit of a hard time…_

He let out a sigh, looking through the references Izaya had given him, deciding to check each one in case Izaya didn't look all the way through. He was stumped for a moment when the first site gave him a warning that he didn't have access until he realized that Izaya had written a few extra notes down for him. _Damn flea. Thinking I can't do any of this on my own. _He stopped himself then, letting out a sigh. _Well..._

The hour went by pretty quickly, though Izaya didn't come back. Shizuo went with the more likely option that he was still asleep, not exactly sure how he felt about that. He had come close to breaking the laptop a couple times, so it would probably be best to take a break before he did any damage. Then again, you could suppose that he was relieved that Izaya was asleep - but why? He kept asking himself this, wondering just how downhill things would go at this rate, caring for someone like the flea. _I don't care. I _can't _care. He's a bastard. Just look at all the things he's done to screw with your life..._

Shizuo was snapped out of his thoughts then when his phone rang, pulling it out to see Kasuka's name flashing. "Hey. Everything okay?"

_"Yes. My flight was actually yesterday, so I was wondering if maybe we could meet up today?"_

"Sure," Shizuo replied a bit reluctantly. "See you there."

_"See you."_

Shizuo set his phone on the coffee table, staring down at his bandages. He would have to stop by his place and change - he always wore his bartender getup for Kasuka, plus he didn't want to concern him if he saw what happened. _Not that it's that bad._

Opening a document for Izaya, he wrote, "Went to see Kasuka. Don't even try working; just go back to bed. Yeah, I didn't find anything. You can save the crap for later."

Putting his phone back in his pocket, he walked out, heading back towards Ikebukuro.

* * *

><p>At first glance, Shizuo thought Kasuka maybe had bodyguards with him, though looking again, he found himself annoyed at the sight. Sure enough, there were Mairu and Kururi fawning over his brother, obviously overjoyed at the fact that they could finally talk to him.<p>

Shizuo made his way over then, picking up the girls lightly by their jacket hoods. "Alright, pipsqueaks, time to go."

Mairu flailed her arms, lips curved in a pout. "Shizuo, let us go! The one time we get to meet Yuuhei and you come and ruin it! You're just like Iza-nii sometimes!"

Shizuo simply glared at her, setting the two down before looking apologetically towards Kasuka.

"They weren't really bothering me, actually," Kasuka said simply, shocking his brother.

Mairu and Kururi exchanged grins, looking at Shizuo in satisfaction.

"Really?" Shizuo asked.

Kasuka shook his head. "No. They're not a crowd of fans or anything. Though, I assume you've had trouble with them?"

Shizuo nodded. "They're Izaya's annoying little sisters. They're always asking me if they can meet you, and I guess they got away with it this time."

"Still here (We're still here, Shizuo)," Kururi said softly.

"Yeah!" Mairu exclaimed, contrasting the tone of her twin. "Don't talk about like we're not here."

Shizuo sighed. "Sorry, girls. But, you meet Yuuhei. Are you happy now?"

"No, because we want to talk to him more!"

"Well, we have things to do, so just run along."

Mairu frowned, muttering as she walked away with Kururi at her side. "As I said, just like Iza-nii."

_Just like the flea. _Shizuo echoed, turning back to Kasuka. "Again, sorry about that."

"It's fine."

The two did a bit of catching up as they walked around town, Kasuka talking a bit about his new movie and Shizuo explaining how he was working for Izaya now, though he was reluctant to do so. This caused Kasuka to ask a few questions, though he was Shizuo's brother - why should he feel uncomfortable telling him?

After simply walking around, the two went out for dinner, Kasuka being bothered by a few fans - per usual - though he paid little mind, which Shizuo always liked about his brother. It was one of the things he lacked, though he was slowly growing a bit calmer, he supposed.

Just as they were about to leave the restaurant, however, Shizuo's phone buzzed and he looked to see a new text from Izaya, dumbfounded as he read it.

[We're going to America.]

* * *

><p><strong>author's note~<strong>

And so ends the multi-chapter update~! I was going to wait to include chapter eight, though I think it would be better to wait, since it introduces a subplot. cx

I'm still on vacation, so chapter eight (and maybe some others) will be a bit delayed, but will hopefully be out sometime in the next week or so.

Now, I'm going to apologize right away for any mistakes in these chapters. I'm currently reading the light novels and I wanted to incorporate a bit of material from them in here, though I'm still reading, so I don't really have a full grasp on everything yet. I'm trying. Besides, most of this will only be subtle, like Izaya's call from Shiki and the way Kururi is written.

Also, as you've probably noticed, this now has an updated summary (finally), plus the rating went down - it just wasn't necessary at this point, and it probably won't go back. I've wanted to take it down for a while, but wanted to wait until the new summary. Also, Shinra and Celty were taken out of the character list. Now that I've been planning more, I can see quite a few characters having recurring roles as much as them. Besides, Shizuo and Izaya are the main two focuses here, so why not.

Anyway, enough apologizing and stuff. xD" I hope you're enjoying the story, and I'll see you guys in the next update~


	8. Difficulties and the Welcoming Committee

**chapter eight - difficulties and the welcoming committee**

"America?"

Shizuo hadn't even bothered to text Izaya back, simply showing up back at his apartment after wrapping things up with Kasuka.

Izaya nodded. "Yes, America. I was asked to help on a case, and I accepted. It'll be an interesting change of pace."

"And I'm coming with you?"

"You're my secretary now, are you not?"

Shizuo simply nodded.

"So yes, you are coming with me. Unless you'd rather stay behind, bored out of your mind for an extended period of time."

"When do we leave?"

"Tomorrow."

* * *

><p>Shizuo arrived bright and early at Izaya's the following morning, only to see the informant asleep at his desk once again. The blonde let out a sigh, gently shaking the other man's shoulders. He had figured that going in the first place probably wouldn't be a good idea, but Izaya would be difficult with him either way.<p>

Izaya didn't move at first, causing Shizuo to poke him a couple times. "Izaya."

"Mhmm…?" Izaya opened an eye, sitting up and stretching his good arm. "What do you want?"

"Don't we have to leave soon?"

Izaya blinked, sitting up straight and shaking his mouse to turn the screen back on. "Shit," he muttered. "I forgot to print the tickets."

"Izaya," Shizuo pressed.

"Don't even start. We still have a little over two hours to get ready and get over there."

"Don't we have to be there an hour before, though?"

Izaya narrowed his eyes, turning back to his screen and frantically searching for the ticket page.

Shizuo shook his head, making his way over to the couch, taking a quick look through his suitcase, just in case. "Flea, have you even packed yet?"

No reply.

"I'll take that as a no," Shizuo grumbled, watching as Izaya kept his eyes on his computer, printing out the tickets.

A moment later, Izaya handed him his ticket, replying, "No, I haven't. I don't pack a lot, anyway."

"I have room in my suitcase," Shizuo said with a shrug, earning a glare from the other man.

"Share a suitcase with you?"

"It would save space, at least."

Izaya sighed. "You're ridiculous, protozoan."

"So aren't you, flea."

And so the two ended up sharing a suitcase, alongside sitting next to each other for a whole thirteen-hour flight. It about drove Shizuo insane, having nothing to do almost. He texted Celty and Kasuka for a bit, and made some conversation with Izaya - when the flea wasn't completely tied up in working, that was.

"You're not even going to take a break on the plane?"

Izaya shook his head. "Of course not. Priorities, Shizu-chan."

Shizuo wasn't about to argue, so he remained quiet most of the way there, falling asleep after a while, only to wake up hours later to see Izaya asleep beside him, leaning against his shoulder. The blonde tried shifting around in his seat, but didn't want to wake the other man up so he sat still, though he reached over to grab Izaya's laptop before it fell out of his lap.

_He's really set on finding out who this guy really is._ Shizuo thought, gazing over at the sleeping informant. _What does he want from all this, though?_

An announcement sounded from the pilot then, causing Shizuo to shake Izaya again. "Izaya."

No reply.

"Izaya," Shizuo growled again.

Izaya yawned, taking a minute to realize he was leaning against Shizuo, scooting away afterwards. "What?"

"Boston."

"What about it?"

"You told me that we were going to New York. Why the hell are we landing in Boston?"

"Must've got the tickets wrong or something…"

"Are you kidding me?" Shizuo grumbled. _I knew this was a bad idea._

Izaya narrowed his eyes. "What, do you really think I would've let you handle it? We might've ended up in Mexico."

Another announcement came that the plane had landed, the other passengers grabbing their belongings and making their way out.

Before Izaya could grab their suitcase, Shizuo moved to grab him by the shirt collar, though the raven haired man had his good arm in tact to block him, kicking him square in the balls when no one was looking.

"We're not in Ikebukuro anymore, protozoan," Izaya spat. "You're going to have to control yourself, unless you want us arrested. Understand?"

Shizuo winced for a brief second, taking the suitcase and slinging it over his shoulder, earning quite a few dumbfounded gazes.

Izaya let out an irritated growl, kicking him again. "Lay off the strength, why don't you?"

"Right," Shizuo said, setting the suitcase back down and dragging it behind him, muttering a small "Sorry."

"Tch," Izaya mumbled in return, walking alongside his secretary as they made their way inside the airport, gazing around in question. "Now, we're going to need a rental car…"

Shizuo blinked at the thought of either of them behind the wheel, giving Izaya a concerned look. "You sure that's a good idea?"

"What, do you expect us to _walk_ all the way to New York?"

"No, but I can't exactly see myself driving a car…"

Izaya raised an eyebrow. "I'd be the one driving, obviously."

"Oh hell no," Shizuo instantly retorted. "You'd fall asleep right then and there."

"Like you driving would be any better."

"Well, what if we get something I'm used to? Like...a motorcycle?" Shizuo shrugged, earning an alarmed gaze from Izaya. "Celty let me test out Shooter a couple of times, so it'd be a bit easier for me than a car, I guess."

Izaya blinked. "Shooter?"

Shizuo raised an eyebrow, giving him a skeptical look. "Her horse."

"Right," Izaya mumbled, starting to walk ahead of him. "I knew that."

"Whatever you say." Shizuo rolled his eyes, keeping pace with him as they exited the airport, taking in the new scenery. "So, we getting the motorcycle or not?"

"Fine," Izaya muttered. "But where are we going to put the suitcase?"

_Crap, I forgot about that. _"We could get one with a sidecar."

"Alright. Off to find your damn motorcycle we go," Izaya snapped, making his way down the street, Shizuo following in pursuit.

"Killjoy."

"I'm letting you get it, aren't I? It's my money, after all." Shizuo opened his mouth to speak, but Izaya continued. "Don't even start. You probably don't even have enough money to rent it in the first place. Hell, did you even convert your money before we left?"

Shizuo didn't respond, merely narrowing his eyes as they continued walking through the city.

"Stupid protozoan."

That was the final straw. Shizuo honestly didn't care at that point; he picked up right where he left off, grabbing the info broker by his shirt collar and looking him in the eyes. "You know, Izaya, if you're going to be an ass the whole time, you can go get hit by a fucking truck."

Izaya's eyes lit up and a familiar smirk returned to his lips. "Nice to see you're back to normal. I was getting a little tired of you playing hero." He placed a hand over his pocket where his switchblade sat, ready to grab it just in case. _Stupid protozoan can get arrested if he wants to. I don't need him._

"What was that?" Shizuo snapped, releasing his grip on the other man as more people began to crowd nearby.

"Aw, someone's worried for once?" Izaya laughed. "I thought for sure we could have another chase." With that, he waved his arm as he began to walk away, switchblade now peeking out from his sleeve.

"Go die," Shizuo muttered, a bit reluctant to follow the informant, but did so anyway. _Dammit Shizuo, what's going on with you? _

The two refused to speak to one another for a while, keeping their focus on simply finding the rental store and getting this all over with.

However, it seemed Izaya had waited a bit too long to mess with Shizuo. The blonde watched as he disappeared around a corner, Shizuo following after him to see the informant standing on the other side of the street, a car heading full speed at him.

Part of Shizuo told him to let the other man stay there and get hit as some sort of payback, the other half telling him to save him. He didn't have much time to argue, however, and went with the latter, hurrying across and pulling Izaya out of the way, holding the informant against his chest.

"What the hell, flea?!"

Izaya looked up at him, smirk still plastered to his face. "That was a test. You told me to go die, and I was curious to see how you would react. I see you're still trying to play hero, ne?"

"I'm not trying to be anything," Shizuo snapped. "Honestly, do you have a death wish? This is the second time you'd be dead had I not saved your sorry ass."

"If you didn't save me, I could've simply jumped out of the way."

"And risk your life in the process."

Izaya rolled his eyes, and Shizuo realized then that he was still holding onto the informant, letting go of him and turning away.

"What's done is done, Shizu-chan," Izaya said simply. "Now, what interests me is why you told me to go die and then proceeded to save me. It seems that you can't make up your mind. Or," he paused, grabbing the blonde's shoulders and turning him around. "You somehow care about for me."

"No!" Shizuo exclaimed instantly. "I just..."

Izaya smirked, walking off again. "Whatever. Let's just get a move on."

* * *

><p>"Shizu-chan!"<p>

Izaya knew that this was a bad idea, yet he had let it happen anyway. He should've known that Shizuo would slam on the gas pedal, claiming that he would do just fine. Yet here he was, clinging to the sides of the motorcycle as the two took off into the open.

"Sorry," Shizuo muttered, releasing his force a bit. "Honestly though, Izaya, you either hold on or die."

"I refuse to hold onto a brute like you."

"You did just fine when I pulled you out of the road."

Izaya huffed, hesitantly wrapping his arms around the blonde's waist. "I swear, if you get us killed..."

"Have you never taken a ride with Celty before?"

"I'd at least trust her," Izaya muttered. "What speed are we going, anyway?"

"Eighty, I think."

"_Eighty? _I think you're the one with a death wish."

Shizuo let out an exasperated sigh. "Do you want to get there on time or not? I don't think you'd make a good impression if you're late."

"We wouldn't be in this situation if someone had ordered the right tickets..."

"And whose fault was that, huh, smartass?"

Izaya didn't reply, remembering then that it was his fault. _My mind's all messed up... _He sighed, resting his head on Shizuo's back.

"Comfy much?" Shizuo asked, tone a lot lighter than before.

"Just shut up and drive."

The two rode on for the three hour drive, both feeling a bit relaxed after a while. Shizuo had gotten used to handling, and Izaya, though he wouldn't admit it, was a bit reassured after dealing with it for the time being. The informant had almost fallen asleep a couple times, even, shaking the feeling away. He didn't want a repeat of the issue on the plane.

Since the two were comfortable, neither dared to speak a word, simply watching the different cities fly by them, eventually reaching a "Welcome to New York" sign.

Shizuo let out a sigh of relief. "Finally. We don't have that long left."

Izaya simply murmured in agreement, closing his eyes only to re-open them seconds later at the sound of gunfire and sirens.

"Izaya, what's going on back there?"

Izaya sat up straight, turning around to see a group of motorcycles coming up behind them, police cars in pursuit. "Some sort of chase," he said lightly with little concern, though the motorcyclists were catching up to them, each holding a gun. "Okay, I think we have a problem."

"What?"

"I think they're trying to shoot at us."

Shizuo blinked, flooring it as they continued down the road.

"You idiot! There are officers behind us, too, you know!"

"Do you want to get out of this alive or not?"

Izaya didn't reply, holding on tighter as the bike picked up speed. More gunfire sounded from behind them and Izaya gazed over to see a shattered rear window of the car beside them. _So they're not shooting at just us. What's going on, then?_

"You know, I heard there were crazy shootings in America, but this is a bit ridiculous," Shizuo commented.

"Of course we get caught in the crossfire."

The motorcyclists behind them kept shooting for a while, the police still not catching up to them somehow. Izaya felt a bit of worry come over him, though he dismissed it, until it forced its way back. One of the random fires had hit their rear tire, deflating it and causing the motorcycle to shift a bit.

"What the hell?"

"They got the rear tire," Izaya said. "We need to get out of this somehow. We won't make it much longer."

"Yeah, but how exactly do we get out of this?"

Izaya thought a moment, gazing over to see a exit in the distance that read "Rest Area". "That's it," he said. "Shizuo, I need you to move over a couple lanes."

"That'll be a little hard," Shizuo replied, gesturing to the packed lanes beside them.

"Just do it!"

Shizuo nodded, slowing down a bit and squeezing in behind the car that had the broken window, attempting to move into the next lane only to be blocked by one of the motorcycles. _Shit!_

"Shizu-chan, we can either pull this off or we can't. You're going to have to make a wide turn into the exit before they have a chance to fire again. It will put more pressure on the rear tire, so you have to pull it off right."

"Tell me when."

Izaya nodded, keeping his eye on the exit and the other motorcycle, noticing that they were now completely cornered. Getting an idea, he leaned over towards the sidecar, alarming Shizuo. "What are you doing?!"

The informant didn't respond, struggling to pick up the suitcase with both arms, but did so, holding onto it the best he could. "Now!"

Shizuo obeyed, closing his eyes and listening to the gunfire sound from behind them as he made the turn, Izaya tossing the suitcase in the way of their pursuers and giving them a middle finger salute as they swung into the rest area, just in time for the tire to completely blow.

The two exchanged satisfactory expressions, sliding off the motorcycle and setting their helmets down, hearts racing after that.

"Well, that was certainly interesting."

Izaya laughed, attempting to ignore the pain in his shoulder from throwing the suitcase, oblivious to the new cut in his coat.

"Now what? Pretty sure they don't just randomly store replacement tires around here," Shizuo commented.

"I suppose I'll have to call that agent whose number they gave me," Izaya shrugged, pulling out his phone and dialing the number.

Shizuo sat back down on the side of the motorcycle, watching as Izaya paced around for a couple minutes before returning to the blonde's side.

"She's going to pick us up soon. The group was a good two hours away waiting for us all this time," Izaya said, staring down at his hands as he tossed his phone around.

"Well, if someone had gotten the reservations right.." Shizuo teased.

Izaya punched him lightly. "Shut up."

"And now all our stuff's gone."

"It saved us, didn't it?"

"Yeah, I guess it did."

* * *

><p><strong>author's note~<strong>

So sorry I'm a day late! Dx I had lost inspiration these past few days, but I woke up to find a new review and that completely made my morning, plus got the chapter finished. c:

Finally, the beginning of the America subplot! cx I'm not entirely too sure how this is going to turn out, but I hope it adds something interesting to the story. I didn't want to write completely slice of life, so here's a little spice for that.

In other news, we finally got a general release date for Season 2~! I can't wait owo Also, updates should be back to normal for the next two weeks. School starts back up soon, that will most likely mess up future updates, but I'll try my best.

As always, thank you for the favorites, follows, reviews, and of course, simply reading! I'll see you in chapter nine~!


	9. Coming to Terms

**chapter nine - coming to terms**

Izaya and Shizuo were generally silent for the wait, both having the same, general idea stuck in their heads.

_Why does Shizuo keep saving me?_

_Do I really care about that flea?_

There were several times where Izaya wanted to break the silence with the question, though he figured Shizuo might not even have an answer himself. _Typical protozoan. _

Instead of asking, however, he kept things simple. "You know, my laptop was in that suitcase."

Shizuo blinked in surprise at the informant speaking, though didn't turn to face him. "I'll get you a new one."

"Do you have enough money to?"

"Do you have to keep asking about how much money I have?"

"Maybe I'll change my mind about paying you then..."

Shizuo faced him then, expression a bit concerned though Izaya could tell he was trying to hide it. Instead of replying, the blonde pulled out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, lighting one and pressing it between his lips.

"You're pretty quiet now, Shizu-chan," Izaya continued on, kicking his legs off the side of the motorcycle. "Any particular reason?"

Shizuo shrugged. "Does it matter?"

"I suppose not."

Their conversation was cut short when a black SUV pulled in in front of them, door opening to reveal a blonde woman in uniform. "Izaya Orihara and Shizuo Heiwajima?"

"That's us," Izaya gave her a nod, replying in English.

The woman pulled out her badge, showing it to the two, revealing her name was Alexa. "Well then, welcome to America."

"Some welcome," Shizuo gave a small smile, earning an eyebrow raise from Izaya, the informant turning towards him in surprise.

"You can speak English?"

Alexa raised an eyebrow, though didn't say anything.

"Yeah," Shizuo replied simply.

"How?"

Shizuo blinked. "Well, Kasuka decided he wanted to be an actor pretty early on, and he started taking classes to learn English. I was kinda curious, too, so I started after him; that's all."

"Your brotherly love goes a bit too far sometimes," Izaya muttered.

Shizuo frowned. "What, jealous that you can't be as close with Mairu and Kururi?"

"Not at all," Izaya replied cooly, though Shizuo could tell he was lying. Not waiting for a response from the blonde, he faced Alexa again. "Well, we should probably get going, ne?"

Alexa nodded, sliding back into her seat as the two got in the back, both relieved that Shizuo wasn't driving this time.

"So, Shizuo," Alexa started, looking at him through her mirror as she pulled out of the rest area. "Has Izaya told you anything about what we're dealing with?"

Shizuo shrugged. "Not really."

"I told you a little bit. You were just too careless to find out more for yourself."

Shizuo narrowed his eyes, about to reply, but Alexa, noticing their actions, cut him off. "Are you two always like this?"

"Not always," Izaya began nonchalantly. "It just depends on whether or not the brute's pissed off."

"Shut up."

Izaya smirked, turning to gaze out the window as Alexa began to explain, though there was really nothing new on top of it all.

"Well, I know you had a bit of a run-in with one of the operatives - a man who goes by Senji Nakamura. It's a definite alias, though no one has been able to find out what his real name is. Now, he's not the leader of the underground organization here, but he does possess quite a threat. There really isn't a clue as to what he's planning, either. He could be a criminal mastermind, or he could just be out of his mind. Why am I saying this is because he's targeting others that are linked to the underground, but we don't really know why."

Shizuo gave a quick glance towards Izaya, though the info broker seemed to be zoned out. _Others linked to the underground, huh. Kinda makes sense for him to try to kill Izaya, but for what? No reason? _He thought nothing of it for a moment, but soon froze, eyes still on Izaya. _Just like me. __  
><em>

"Shizuo?"

The blonde blinked, relaxing himself again and turning away from Izaya. "Right, sorry."

* * *

><p>After a while, the three reached a stop in front of a hotel, both Shizuo and Izaya looking at Alexa in confusion.<p>

"It's a little too late to stop by headquarters, so we'll start up later, if that's alright," Alexa began, turning around to toss them both badges, and a key to Izaya. "Here are your badges, and there's your room key. You don't have to worry about paying for anything; we have it all covered."

"Thanks," The two said in unison, glaring at each other before sliding out in front of the building, Izaya waving Alexa off as he pulled his phone out.

"Well, she wasn't kidding when she said it was late. It's after three."

Shizuo blinked. "Damn. Better go find that room, then."

Izaya nodded, disappearing inside the building with Shizuo behind him, finding their room on the fifth floor.

"Well. This is a certainly a downgrade from my apartment," Izaya commented. "I can only imagine that this must be like home to you."

"My apartment's not that bad."

Izaya didn't reply, striding over the bed and sitting down before Shizuo could, turning towards his secretary. "You can sleep on the floor."

"Fine then. I'll get the bed tomorrow."

Izaya crossed his arms. "You're never getting the bed."

Shizuo sat down beside him, nudging him aside lightly. "Says who?"

"Go to bed, Shizu-chan."

Shizuo simply gestured at where he was sitting, Izaya rolling his eyes beside him. "Stupid protozoan."

"Fine, you win," Shizuo stood up, taking one of the blankets from the bed and laying it down beside the bed, also grabbing one of the pillows. Izaya let out a small sigh, slipping his jacket off and curling up, closing his eyes.

Shizuo looked up at him, embracing the silence for a while before speaking again. "Hey, flea."

"Mhmm?"

Shizuo waited a moment to continue before asking, "Are you afraid of dying?"

Izaya opened his eyes again, staring at the blonde in question. "That's quite the question to ask."

"Well, considering what we've gotten ourselves into, not really," Shizuo replied. "You just always seemed so carefree every time I went after you, but now, you seem a little on edge."

"I'm fine," The informant snapped, frowning and rolling over onto his other side.

"You were shaking when I pulled you out of the road, and you seemed pretty concerned during that shooting."

Izaya huffed, muttering to himself, "Blasphemy."

"Call it what you want, I'm just telling it how I saw it. Even going back to when we got shot, I wasn't entirely conscious when you called Shinra, but I was able to hear a bit of it, and I could hear how worried you were."

"Drop it, Shizu-chan."

"No."

Izaya rolled back over then, glaring at the blonde, but answered calmly. "Fine. So what if I'm afraid of death? Who wouldn't be? It's part of human nature, almost. Humans constantly want to evolve and do something with their lives before they die, and knowing that death can come upon them at any moment drives them to complete their goals and live life the way they want to - or at least, attempt to.

"Monsters like you, however, don't have to worry about death, or completing goals. You have all the time in the world before you die of old age, natural causes, or something along those lines."

Shizuo raised an eyebrow defensively. "Who says I don't have goals?"

"Yes, you want to get rid of your strength, but does that really count?"

"Well, what are your goals, exactly? Screwing with everyone's lives?"

"Don't ignore the question."

"You're doing the same."

Izaya closed his eyes and let out another sigh, not bothering to reply.

"You know, flea, you don't have to act as if it doesn't mean anything to you. Everyone has a foil."

Izaya still didn't reply, leaving the two to be lulled asleep by the familiar sounds of the city.

* * *

><p>Waking up to see Izaya with a laptop at ease was both surprising and not for Shizuo as he sat up, rubbing his eyes and stretching. The informant simply rolled his eyes at him, continuing to type away as Shizuo straightened himself up, looking over to see fresh new clothes sitting beside him.<p>

"What the hell...?" Shizuo blinked, turning towards Izaya, though the raven haired man didn't move.

"I went out earlier and bought some new stuff. I thought you might want some clean clothes, so you're welcome, I suppose."

"Thanks," Shizuo replied weakly, grabbing them and heading towards the bathroom.

Izaya sighed, giving a quick gaze at the corner of his screen. It was already almost one, and they still needed to show up at headquarters. He had of course heard from Alexa, but had no idea when Shizuo was going to wake up. _Didn't want all hell to break loose. _He rolled his eyes, scrolling through his emails to see he had quite a few unhappy clients demanding answers. Part of him was reluctant to answer; he didn't even want to in the first place. He had barely managed to get any sleep, per usual, and - dare he say it - was a bit jealous of the sound-asleep Shizuo he had woken up to see.

_To think that a monster that could sleep so soundly. At least he doesn't have the weight of other people on him. _Izaya paused, taking back that thought. _Then again, I suppose he does. It's hard telling, though, considering he's barely showed any development. _

What irked him more however was how Shizuo was pointing out the flaws he tried to make himself oblivious to. Yes, he had been a bit concerned for his life in all of those situations. But he was Izaya Orihara, one of the most dangerous and strongest - in a mental sense - of Ikebukuro. Why let a couple shootings get him down when he had dealt with worse?

_I'm starting to lose sight of myself. And it's that damn protozoan's fault. Why did I agree to this?_

Izaya buried his face in his keyboard, lifting it back up to see a completely gibberish email, instantly backing out of it. _I need to focus. Keep my mind on this case, and that's it. I should just leave him here; not like he'd help much anyway. _He nodded to himself, slipping the laptop inside the case he bought, pulling his coat on and turning to head out the door when Shizuo opened the bathroom door, pulling a towel out of his hair.

_Shit. _Izaya narrowed his eyes, setting the laptop down as if nothing happened. "That was fast."

Shizuo didn't buy it. "Were you really about to leave?"

"No."

"Don't give me crap, flea," Shizuo frowned, putting his sunglasses on. "Face it; you brought me here, you're stuck with me. I came here to help."

"Some help you are," Izaya muttered.

"You just haven't given me a chance."

"Actually, I believe I did, and you blew it," Izaya corrected him, picking the case back up and opening the door.

Shizuo narrowed his eyes. "Dammit, flea. I'm still coming with you."

"Why are you so damn persistent?" Izaya yelled. "You're no help, Shizuo, and I don't know why you can't just accept that. I don't know what kind of drugs I was on in order to make you my secretary, so I'll say it one last time. I don't need you."

With that, he stormed out, attempting to lock the door, though Shizuo managed to slip out.

"Shizuo," Izaya hissed through clenched teeth.

Shizuo glanced both ways down the hall before punching him in the face, trying to keep it as light as he could while still giving him something to remember. "You need to calm down. I don't know what happened to you overnight, but you came here for a case, and I imagine you should've been there hours ago."

"I should've just left you while you were asleep. See if I do any favors for you again."

Shizuo sighed. "Izaya, I just know this is the sleep deprivation talking. I would say for you to wait another day, but..." he paused, quickly changing his mind. "Hell, maybe I will."

Izaya stood still as Shizuo snatched the laptop, opening the door back up and nudging the informant inside, locking it and pulling the key away before the informant could grab it. "Get some real sleep for once, will you?"

With that, Shizuo took off towards the elevator, laptop in hand and doubt leaving him in that moment. _I'll show him. I'm not going to let him beat me this time. He'll either come to terms with me working for him now, or he won't. But I saved his life, and I guess I kinda have to take care of him now._

Izaya let out a sigh, slumping against the door and closing his eyes. "Everyone has a foil..."

* * *

><p><strong>author's note~<strong>

Gosh, I feel like this is such a weak chapter. ;3; I would've added more, but I felt like adding in the beginning of the case would make this chapter more dragged out, and I thought that this might be a good place to drop off, giving them both some time to cool off. I promise they'll be more cooperative in the next chapter. I just didn't want them to automatically come to terms with realizing they had feelings for each other, because they're still developing said feelings, and as you can see, Izaya is still having a difficult time accepting the fact that any of this is even happening, even though he brought it upon himself. These things take time, especially with characters as stubborn as these two. xD" It's frustrating, but necessary.

Another note. If I remember correctly, in the light novels it said that Shizuo can't speak English, but I felt like having Izaya translate for him would take away from the development of this subplot, so it made it so he could speak it. Sorry if it seems like a cop-out or something. :c

Anyway, I'm sorry for leaving you guys with just this (and sorry I keep apologizing xD") but it's not as bad as the first chapter, so I guess it's okay. I'm not at my best right now, but I really wanted to write and get this chapter out for you all. I'm going to work on getting the next chapter out as fast as I can and it will hopefully be better than this, plus get this subplot moving.

So, I'll see you in the next update ^^


	10. System Error

**chapter ten - system error**

Izaya Orihara was conflicted.

It wasn't too often he got this feeling, though it seemed as of late he got it a lot.

He could either do as Shizuo said and get some sleep, or he could pick the lock and show up at headquarters anyway. Shizuo would probably bash his head into the nearest wall should he choose the latter, but he honestly didn't care at this point.

_Everyone has a foil. _Shizuo's words kept echoing through Izaya's thoughts, and no matter how hard he tried to push it away, it came back. _And you just happened to be mine._

The informant let out an obnoxious sigh, flopping back onto the bed, only to cringe at the returning pain in his side. If something could annoy him almost as much as Shizuo in the present, that would be it. He constantly cursed himself for letting this happen, all of these recent events making him vulnerable. _How long until I crack? Face it; I'm already losing it. _Izaya closed his eyes, rolling over onto his side, impatiently waiting for sleep to come. Maybe Shizuo was right and it was just sleep deprivation. Though, there was one more reason that seemed a bit more accurate, he supposed.

His phone beeped as the thought came across him, however, leaving him to shrug it off and pull out his phone to find another complaint from a client. The informant rolled his eyes, quickly typing up a response, only to receive a text from Shinra.

[How are you feeling?]

[Fine. You don't have to check up on me all the time, you know.]

[I've been holding back! Besides, you're the one who told me you weren't feeling like yourself.]

[Well, I know why now, so feel free to leave me be.]

[I also wanted to ask about your wounds. How are they holding up?]

[Okay.]

[Are you sure?]

[If you thought I was going to lie, well...]

[I suppose you have me there. Anyway, how's Shizuo?]

[He's alright. I'm surprised he hasn't cracked yet.]

[As opposed to you.]

Izaya stared at the text for a moment, lips curving into a frown as he set his phone down on the nightstand beside him. _Damn you, Shinra. _The informant cursed to himself, rolling over on his side and closing his eyes, impatiently waiting for sleep to come.

* * *

><p>When Shizuo showed up at headquarters alone, it was a bit alarming that Izaya wasn't there with him, especially considering the informant hadn't said too much about Shizuo while talking to Alexa. She was able to pick up a couple of things after the incident, however.<p>

"Why isn't Izaya here?" Alexa asked plain and simple, eyebrow raised.

"He's been pretty sleep deprived lately, so I left him behind. He hasn't gotten a break at all lately," Shizuo replied simply.

Alexa nodded, leading Shizuo down to her unit, unlocking the door and stepping inside, gesturing towards Shizuo. "Well, everyone, this is Shizuo Heiwajima. His partner couldn't be here today, so we'll have to work a couple things out, but we'll hopefully get somewhere."

_My partner... _Shizuo blinked, attempting to not immediately correct her on that. _We're not partners for anything! Hell, what _are _we anymore? _Brushing the thought away for the time being, the blonde gazed around the room at each of his 'co-workers', he supposed he could call them. Izaya's doubt struck him then, letting him stand back for a moment and think over what he had decided to do. _Relax, Shizuo. These people know nothing about you. But if you screw up, well, that won't look too good for either of us. _

Shizuo was snapped back out of his thoughts when one of the officers turned towards him and Alexa, simply remarking, "Sure hope so."

"Doubtful as always, Ace," The girl beside this 'Ace' muttered, earning an instant glare in protest.

Alexa let out an amused huff, turning back to Shizuo. "Those two over there are Ace and Cathryn," she began, giving a nod towards the pair of brunettes before turning towards the other two positioned at the table. "and that's Jacob and Riley."

Shizuo merely nodded, not sure what to say.

Noticing his awkward approach, Jacob gave him a small smirk, reminding Shizuo a bit of Izaya - black hair and all - though more of a friendly tease rather than, well, Izaya. "What, are you shy, Shizuo?"

"Not much to say," he lied with a shrug.

"A man of secrets, I see," Cathryn joined in, earning a disapproving glance from Riley, who continued to remain silent.

_An informant has his secrets. _Izaya's words echoed through Shizuo's mind then, the blonde narrowing his eyes. _Goddammit, flea, leave me alone!_

Cathryn blinked up at him and Shizuo realized that he was now clenching his fists, briskly relaxing them at his sides before anyone else noticed.

"So, about time we get off our lazy asses and work, huh?" The brunette woman continued when no one else spoke, earning nods from her peers. The four sitting at the table diverged, moving towards laptops, filing cabinets, and the likes in pursuit of work.

Alexa sat down at the table, gesturing for Shizuo to take a seat beside her, setting the laptop down in front of them. "I assume you have Izaya's files with you, then?"

Shizuo shrugged. "I'm not sure, but knowing the flea, he got everything back in order."

"The brute and the flea, huh," Alexa mused, leaving Shizuo to realize his mistake, silently cursing himself. "What terms are you two on, exactly? If you don't mind me asking."

"It's complicated."

Alexa nodded, turning the laptop on and opening it up. "Well, may as well test your theory."

Sure enough, Izaya had done it - plus, the two noticed, the informant had added in new information overnight.

_How is he not tired of this? _Shizuo thought, watching as Alexa scrolled through the files. _Is he that set on revenge? This is turning obsessive, almost. Just like..._

_Me._

"Something wrong, Shizuo?"

Shizuo turned to see Alexa's face right in front of his, backing away slightly. "No, sorry."

Alexa raised an eyebrow, facing the screen again, Shizuo doing the same shortly after.

"Well, let's do this," Shizuo breathed, opening a new tab and letting out a small sigh. _Better not screw up._

* * *

><p>The sun was still out when Izaya woke up, the informant rolling over to grab his phone to see that he had only slept for about four hours. He sighed, sitting up and stretching, lowering his right arm as pain shot through him again. <em>Four hours is better than nothing, at least.<em>

Izaya looked down at his feet, half expecting Shizuo to be there, sound asleep on his makeshift bed, though it was still daytime - sunset, at least. He blinked at the thought, shrugging it off and disappearing into the bathroom. Greeted by a mirror, he managed to stop in front of it and get a good look at himself, and sure enough, Shizuo was right, in a sense. The bags under his eyes were clearly visible, and he was rather scrawny - though he always was. He was about to go as far to sniff his shirt, but stopped. _Shizu-chan always says I smell like shit. _However, he did it anyway, narrowing his eyes and slipping into the shower.

When he came back out, his phone beeped, and sure enough, there was a new text from Shizuo.

[You up yet, flea?]

[Yes. I'm surprised you asked now. I thought for sure you would think I would sleep all night~]

[Well, someone's back to normal.]

[Of course I am.]

[Anyway, we found something new out today.]

[Care to elaborate?]

[It's a possible headquarters for the group. The team wanted us to go out and see for ourselves tonight.]

"A headquarters, huh," Izaya mused, smirk returning to him. [When do we leave?]

* * *

><p>Shizuo met Izaya back at the hotel, the two plopped down on the bed with Shizuo explaining everything they found.<p>

"Interesting," Izaya remarked, gazing towards the blonde. "So, they expect us to infiltrate their headquarters and destroy their information?"

"And get them arrested, that way we don't have to put up with any longer," Shizuo nodded. "Funny how different things are here compared to home."

Izaya let out a small chuckle in agreement. "Sounds like quite the task. And we haven't even been here for a whole day."

"Yeah," Shizuo replied. "I know I should probably lay back on the strength, because they obviously knew who you were, so they must know me. Some of them, anyway. But, last resort?"

"Last resort," Izaya echoed. "Just don't use it to save my ass again."

"Fine. But if you get shot or something, don't come crying to me."

"Is anyone else coming with us?"

"What, do you _want _to saved by someone that's not me?" Shizuo rolled his eyes, earning a glare from the informant. "Alexa's coming too, just in case."

Izaya simply nodded. "So, how were the other officers?"

"They were alright, I guess," Shizuo replied lightly. "I didn't talk too much to them, and I guess we won't be around them much longer if we can pull this off."

"And hopefully we will."

"What, you want to leave already?"

"Of course not. I've only left this room once," Izaya pointed out. _But there's going to be hell to pay._

"Sorry," Shizuo muttered. "You really needed sleep, though."

"I suppose so," Izaya brushed it away, sliding off the bed, not turning back to face Shizuo. "Let's get ready to leave, shall we?"

And so the informant disappeared out of the room, leaving Shizuo to just sit, waiting for either him or Alexa to show up. Izaya came back not long after, however, tossing Shizuo a black hoodie, gloves, and a crowbar, setting a box of boots down beside him.

"We're really going all out, aren't we," Shizuo stated, not really as a question, but still in a bit of confusion towards the informant.

Izaya nodded, slipping the hoodie he had bought for himself on, stuffing his switchblade in his pocket. "Not to be stereotypical; just to hide who we are, especially considering they've already attacked us once, and I bet that highway shooting was connected to them in some way."

"If we're hiding who we are, then why no masks?"

Izaya merely gestured towards the motorcycle helmets sitting opposite them.

Shizuo raised an eyebrow. "Wouldn't that give them more of a clue, though?"

Izaya sighed, choosing to not reply, a knock on the door interrupting his chances of answering, anyway. Sure enough it was Alexa, wearing almost the same attire as the two, though Izaya noticed the butt of a gun poking out of her pocket instead.

Shizuo gave her a nod in greeting, and Izaya turned towards her. "So, what time are we leaving?"

Alexa briefly looked at her watch before turning back to the pair. "Well, it's about eleven-thirty now, so we should probably head out soon."

"How far away is it?"

"About thirty minutes."

"Well then," Izaya said with a smirk. "Let's get going."

Shizuo and Alexa exchanged nods, Izaya poking his head out of the room to see if anyone was coming. "We'll look pretty suspicious coming out all at once, so we should probably go one at a time."

"Or," Shizuo started, grabbing his helmet and holding it up.

Izaya blinked at him in surprise, cursing himself under his breath, but grabbing his helmet as well as the three got in the elevator, disappearing out of the building and slipping into Alexa's SUV. The informant's smirk returned to his face as they rode off towards the headquarters, though he was silently hoping that everything would go to plan.

After a while, the SUV came to a stop and Alexa turned back to face the two. "Well, here we are. We're in the Bronx, so we should fit right on in, though I'd expect some extra trouble."

Shizuo blinked. "The Bronx?"

"Shizu-chan, do you know nothing about America?"

"I'm not the informant here."

Izaya rolled his eyes, opening his door and sliding out. "Alexa, are you going to stay here just in case, or are you coming with?"

"I'll stay here. Let's say...if I don't hear anything from you in half an hour, I'll go in. So I'll expect some sort of update."

Izaya nodded. "Fair enough."

Shizuo got out of the van as well, the two closing their doors quietly and making their way towards the building. "Now, there's probably going to be some sort of guard on duty, though they usually work during the day using a cover-up business."

Izaya simply nodded, poking his head out around the corner to see that there was, in fact, someone standing outside. _He's not looking this way, but we'll have to be quiet... _He thought to himself, giving a look towards Shizuo and making his way towards the door, hand over his pocket, just in case. Sure enough, the guard turned around, starting to yell out in protest when Izaya placed a hand over his mouth, unfolding the switchblade and holding it to the man's neck. "You're going to let us in without a problem, _capiche?_"_  
><em>

The man nodded nervously, reply being muffled by Izaya's glove, the informant smirking. "Good." Izaya turned back to gaze at Shizuo, his secretary nodding and meeting up with him.

"Now, let's finish this," Izaya whispered, strolling in when the guard was about to tazer him. Shizuo, noticing this, took the crowbar from behind him and hit him with it, in attempt to not kill him, but knock him out good. Thankfully, Izaya was oblivious to this as he stepped inside the facility.

"Pretty nice for a bunch of low-class brutes."

Shizuo was taken aback by Izaya's statement, though the informant paid little mind to him. _He is really set on this...god, is he planning to kill them or something?_

Considering he made his way over to the computers first, Shizuo was able to do a bit of rethinking. _Well, he didn't go straight away. That might be good._

"You look nervous, Shizu-chan," Izaya finally spoke after a while of searching through the files.

"Not at all."

Izaya paused for a moment, turning towards him with a raised eyebrow. Not saying a word, he turned back to the screens, finishing up in a good twenty-five minutes. The informant pulled out his phone, texting Alexa to tell her that they should be almost done.

"That was fast," Shizuo commented.

Izaya gave a small shrug. "It was quite easy." _A little too easy..._

Before Shizuo could respond, an alarm sounded, the screens blacking out, leaving the two to glance at each other. Izaya had his hand over his pocket yet again, Shizuo turning around, holding the crowbar behind his back, waiting for the possible attack Izaya had thought of. When no one appeared however, the two made a move to run when the floor caved in, leaving their weapons to fall into nothingness as they clung onto the side of the other floor tile.

_I knew it._

* * *

><p><strong>author's note~<strong>

Well, things didn't go as planned for Izaya or for me. xD"

I know I said I'd stop apologizing, but really, this was kind of uncalled for. I just ended up losing inspiration after reading other fics, yet I somehow managed to get ideas for other fics that I want to write, which I didn't want. I wanted to focus only on this fic for a while, that way I could get a bit done. No matter, though. I got the chapter done, and hopefully it's better than the last one. Though still not as good as chapter eight. I tried to add a bit of elements from 8 here, though I already know it's nowhere near as good. Hopefully the next chapter and one more in this subplot will give it more justice.

Honestly, this chapter is taking things in a bit of a different direction from what I intended, and that could be good, or it could be bad. It doesn't matter too much, though. This is only a subplot, and only the ending of it will affect the rest of the fic. I'm hoping it turns out good, though. I'd rather not have a whole subplot of just bad writing and the likes. x-x

Anyway, I'd really appreciate it if you guys left me some feedback here, especially considering the last chapter got pretty much nothing. It really does help. ^^

I'll see you in the next chapter~


	11. Blurred Lines

**chapter eleven - blurred lines**

Shizuo could tell by the look on Izaya's face that he knew something was up. That wasn't unusual, but the fact that they could fall to their death at any moment was just a bit concerning. _Buried alive. That'd be something else._

Something else that bothered him was how no one showed up at the sound of the alarm. With this he turned towards Izaya, the informant appearing lost in thought for a moment before exchanging the gaze. "Let go."

"Are you insane?!"

Izaya narrowed his eyes. "Do you really think they would have an underground floor connecting here if nothing was going to be there?"

When Shizuo didn't reply, Izaya let out a sigh. "Still a brainless brute, I see." With that, the informant released his grip, leaving a reluctant Shizuo, the blonde taking a moment to do the same.

Having a bit of a rough landing, Shizuo rubbed his head briefly gazing over at Izaya, who was cringing in pain as he landed on his injured side. The informant cursed under his breath, reaching out for his knife and looking back at Shizuo.

"My question is," he began, sitting up and resisting the urge to hold onto his side. "If this is a trap, where is everyone? Or is my thinking a bit too stereotypical?"

"Hell if I know," Shizuo muttered, keeping his eyes on Izaya only for the other man to turn away.

"That was a rhetorical question," Izaya sighed. "And remember what I said..."

"I know," Shizuo grumbled. "Good luck standing up, though."

To what would normally be his amusement, Izaya stood up then, tightly clenching his switchblade, facing the nearest door. "Let's just go find these bastards and get this over with."

"And what exactly are you planning to do?"

Izaya didn't reply, making his way into the next room, Shizuo following after, per usual. Yet again, the two found nothing, and Izaya was already irritated with this. "Someone has to be here. I highly doubt they're just a bunch of cowards. That, or the Awakusu-kai has made me have really high standards."

"Maybe they learned after making a direct approach that their plans were too half-assed," Shizuo suggested, though Izaya made no comment at first.

The two continued making their way through each room, all of them completely vacant, save for seemingly untouched equipment.

"Still a pretty half-assed setup, if you ask me," Izaya muttered, leaving Shizuo about to reply when he felt himself pulled back, attempting to pull away from the grasp on him when a hand reached in front of him, placing a mask over his mouth. The blonde's vision began to blur, but not fast enough for him to make out Izaya being dragged away.

_Don't..._

* * *

><p><em>Don't hurt him.<em>

Shizuo blinked, moving to rub his eyes when he felt his hands firmly restrained by handcuffs, realizing his helmet was gone.

"I wouldn't break those, if I were you."

Shizuo looked up then to see one of the men who had restrained him, narrowing his eyes at him. "Bastard."

"You know, we could've killed you. Be grateful," Another man joined in, spinning around at a desk not too far away.

"I don't have to be grateful to you for anything."

The man in front of him raised an eyebrow. "Really? We thought you always wanted to watch that Orihara bastard suffer."

As before, Shizuo was taken aback by this, eyes widening slightly as he slowly felt his anger slip away. Here it was again, right in his face, screaming the irony that these past few weeks had created for him, leaving him with a sense of weakness he rarely got to know. It was with this that he could finally address the question with himself - would he really kill Izaya if he had the chance?

Focusing back on the two men, Shizuo refused to answer.

"I'll take that as a yes, then."

Shizuo looked back up at the man, expression unwavering. "You know, I hate violence."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"If I see people hurting others for shitty reasons, though, I won't hold back." With that, the handcuffs snapped behind him, the man in front of him backing up in slight surprise, pulling out a gun and aiming it at him shakily.

"You guys really are idiots," Shizuo muttered, approaching the man and taking the gun from his hand, tossing it across the room before grabbing the man by the shirt collar. He had a pleading look on his face, though at this point, Shizuo didn't really care. It hurt him a bit thinking that, but his anger was returning, and he had really no reason to hold back now, leaving him to throw the man at the nearest wall.

The other man in the room was sent into a bit of a panic, scrambling towards the door, but didn't make it too far when Shizuo grabbed his arm.

"M-monster!"

"You're one to talk," Shizuo said with an amused huff, bashing their foreheads together shortly after and letting the man fall to the floor before walking out in search of Izaya.

_Damn...what if they took him somewhere else entirely? _Shizuo frowned at the thought, though began to check through each room, just in case. _Only problem is...there's no telling how big this place is. Above ground there were a couple of floors, and hell, there could be more here._

His search didn't take too long, however, which relieved him, though only for a moment. At first he thought everything looked to be okay, until he looked a little closer, and Izaya met his gaze. Like Shizuo, Izaya had his hands cuffed behind him, switchblade and jacket lying on the other side of the room rendering him weaponless. In addition to this, however, the informant was sporting a black eye, blood trickling down the side of his face, his side as well. _What the hell?_

As Izaya noticed him, however, "Nakamura" did as well, pausing mid-sentence to turn towards the blonde. "Ah, Heiwajima-san, nice of you to join us."

"Cut the crap," Shizuo growled, keeping his place in the doorway. "What do you want with him?"

"I think you can sympathize with what I want," Nakamura said simply. "Are you not cheering on the inside, seeing this bastard broken down like this?"

_Are you kidding? He's not broken at all. _Shizuo was tempted to say, but kept his mouth shut. _Izaya, what exactly are you planning to do? _With no way to properly ask, Shizuo simply raised an eyebrow at the informant, Izaya simply smirking in return. Had they not been in this situation, Shizuo may have laughed in reassurance. _Bastard._

Shizuo's reassurance went away, however, when footsteps sounded from the other end of the hall, Shizuo not daring to turn around. Izaya noticed this, and after waiting a moment, he gave a nod towards the blonde who turned around to see Alexa and her team behind him, armed and ready. Alexa gave a small smile to Shizuo before walking in past him, beginning to wrap everything up - strangely, with little resistance from the other side.

Shizuo found himself making his way towards Izaya, the other man pushing him away as he stood up, cringing in pain.

"Hey, I wasn't the one to save your ass this time," Shizuo said lightly, Izaya rolling his eyes at him. The informant was going to reply, but the words were caught on his tongue as he fell against Shizuo, the blonde flinching at the impact.

Alexa met up with the two, watching as her team loaded into an elevator to bring Nakamura and the others for questioning, frowning at Izaya's condition. "Come on, I'll get you two back to headquarters."

* * *

><p>With Izaya being taken care of, Shizuo began to feel at ease once again as he sat in the lobby, Alexa at his side.<p>

"You know," he started, turning towards Alexa. "For inviting us onto this case, we sure didn't do all that much. Hell, we owe you, probably."

Alexa let out a light chuckle. "Don't worry about it. In a way, I can thank you."

"How?"

"It's a bit of a story," she sighed, looking away for a moment. "Now, this is going to sound weird, but I'm proud of you."

Shizuo blinked. "Huh?"

"I know about your issue with Izaya, and I just know you had a change of heart over these past few days. You two still argue, but since you've been here - and I know, it's only been two days - you don't seem like the kind of person who can outright hate someone else like that, and you're definitely not the monster others make you out to be."

"You haven't seen me when I'm mad," Shizuo replied with a small smile.

"Actually, I believe there was a bit of ranting yesterday when we were trying to find new information."

"I didn't break anything."

"Exactly."

Shizuo simply blinked at her statement, dumbfounded with himself. It was true, he was getting a _little _better. Even someone he barely even knew could see it. Though, Shizuo felt comfortable talking to Alexa, as she reminded him a bit of Celty, making it a little less awkward. _Hey, with this wrapping up, we should be able to go home soon..._

"Anyway," Alexa continued, snapping Shizuo out of his thoughts. "You made me realize somewhere that I had gone wrong, as crazy as it might sound."

"I've heard crazier."

"I'm sure you have," Alexa laughed. "Going back to what I was saying. In this world, revenge doesn't really mean anything. It's just a mindless pursuit that we end up obsessing over, but what's the use for it? Not everyone's fortunate enough to get a change of heart. Some will go until the day they die, even. I imagine that's how you would've went, had this not happened."

"Probably," Shizuo sighed, staring down at his hands. "All I would really think about since Izaya and I met was how I wanted to see him go face first into the nearest garbage truck. Then he started stepping up his game, sending yakuza and rogue gang members after me. It was then that he really pissed me off, and I wanted him to feel the same pain I felt, being stuck with this strength. He seems so immune to pain, though I have seen him have a few outbursts. I'm thinking maybe he hides his feelings and expresses them through anger, like I do..." Realizing he was still talking, Shizuo didn't look back at Alexa. "Sorry, you probably didn't want a life story."

"It's fine."

The two continued to talk for a while until they came to an awkward pause, Shizuo standing up and stretching. "I should probably go check on Izaya."

"Go ahead," Alexa replied, still giving him a warm expression. "I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Night," Shizuo nodded, making his way down the hall towards their 'infirmary', Izaya already sound asleep by the sound of it, though when Shizuo opened the door and sat down, the informant stirred and looked over at him.

"Not tired, huh."

"I'm tired of being a target, but otherwise, no."

_You and me both... _Shizuo thought, though he still couldn't bring himself to fully sympathize with Izaya. _Can I even tell him that I don't think I hate him anymore? I'd probably end up regretting it._

_Oh, what the hell. _"You know, Izaya, I realized something today."

"That you should stop calling me flea?" Izaya smirked.

"Shut up," Shizuo rolled his eyes, though managed a small smile. "Actually, it's about trying to kill you all the time."

"Has Shizu-chan finally had an epiphany?" Izaya replied, smirk still present. "Let me guess; no more chases?"

"Probably not."

"Interesting," Izaya mused. "Why, are you worried you might get fired?"

Shizuo raised an eyebrow. "No."

"I'm just kidding, _Shizuo_."

Shizuo was obviously a bit shocked by this, though shrugged it off, turning away. "Anyway, I should probably head back to the hotel. Do me a favor and get some sleep."

"Will do."

With that said, Shizuo opened the door, not turning back around. "Night, flea."

"Good night, brute," Izaya replied, rolling over and letting a small smile settle on his face before drifting asleep.

* * *

><p><strong>author's note~<strong>

Yes, a chapter that's actually on time~! I would've liked for this to be out yesterday, but you get what you get, I guess. I'm satisfied with this last scene here - I know it doesn't make up for the past two chapters, but hopefully I can fix that with the rest of the story. There are always a few lacking chapters in a story as long as this, after all. Actually, I'm satisfied with the purpose of this chapter, which is actually the purpose of this whole subplot - Shizuo's realization. It might be a little early, considering how many chapters this story is supposed to have, but I figured since they were already showing signs of not hating one another, why not, right?

Now, I'm hoping to wrap the whole America thing up soon - hopefully in the next two chapters, so please bear with me here. xc Along with this, school starts for me tomorrow, so as it has been for these past few chapters, updates will be delayed. I will try to work on this the best I can, but there's no telling how much time I'll actually have. I have a feeling my interest will come back once we're out of America, though - these chapters have been a pain for me, and I'm sure a pain for you guys too. But, thanks for sticking with me and getting this fic to last for more than a month. c: I would've usually lost interest by now, but you guys have helped me out. So again, thank you, and I'll see you in chapter twelve~


	12. Vulnerability

**chapter twelve - ****vulnerability**

Insomnia.

Izaya was no stranger to it, but all he wanted that night was peace, quiet, and rest. What annoyed him as well was how he expected Shizuo to be there when he rolled over, proceeding to curse his idiocy for rolling over onto his bad side. He wasn't about to let this become a habit. _It was one night. It'll never happen again._

_Though, I know this case isn't over yet. That bastard has something planned. If he didn't, he wouldn't have gone without resistance. He has as much hatred as Shizu-chan does._

_Did. _

Izaya couldn't help but say he was a bit surprised by this fact. Wasn't Shizuo supposed to be a monster? Monsters didn't develop as humans did, right?

Why had he smiled after Shizuo left?

The raven haired man frowned, staring up at the ceiling hopelessly as he waited, silently wishing he had gone back to the hotel. He was better than this; he had work to do, making sure nothing else happened that was out of his control. If there was anything he hated more in that moment than him relying on Shizuo, it was that. He didn't want to rest until he knew there wouldn't be another problem. _I just need to get back home, back to my normal life. Fire Shizuo and try to get Namie back, maybe stay alone again. I can't just stop working because of one little incident._

Instead of staying up all night thinking on it, however, he managed to fall asleep, only to be woken up a couple hours later. Something was going on in the hallway, though Izaya attempted to pay no mind, failing miserably. It didn't take too long for someone to open the door, though, Izaya recognizing the man from the day before, his badge telling him his name was Jacob.

"You doing okay?"

"I've been worse," Izaya said simply, sitting up and stretching, lowering his right arm almost instantly, per usual.

"If you don't mind me asking, Nakamura seemed to have a really bad issue with you. What happened between you two?"

Izaya gave a small shrug. "He was a client of mine a while back, paying top dollar for information, and he was outraged when I told him, demanding his money back and going as far to blame his misfortune on me. I'm used to aggressive clients, but he's taken it a step further, being in with the underground now and all. At first glance I thought all he wanted was revenge towards me, but it seems like he's really taking it out," he paused, letting out a small sigh. "Because of this, I have reason to believe that things aren't settled yet. He showed no resistance yesterday, and neither did his men. He has something planned."

Jacob nodded. "Yeah, anyone could've noticed that. I'll tell the others to still keep an eye on him. He was only just brought in for questioning, though, and it was really late last night. They might still be sorting things out as we speak."

"What time is it now anyway?"

"About ten."

_So I slept decently, I suppose. You're welcome, Shizu-chan. _

When Izaya didn't reply, Jacob made his way towards the door, turning back towards him. "Anyway, I should probably head back."

"Actually," Izaya replied, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. "Would it be alright if I come with you?"

"Mr. Orihara, please," Jacob started, stepping back towards him. "You should probably rest a little more. Think about it, you were shot twice, and now this. Alexa even thought that you might have signs of internal bleeding."

"I'll be fine," Izaya insisted, standing up and walking past him. "Besides, I could be of use to you in figuring out what he might have planned."

"I suppose..."

Izaya let a small smirk return to his face. "It's settled then."

* * *

><p>"Why am I not surprised."<p>

Shizuo had arrived a few hours after Izaya had made it down to headquarters, listening to Alexa telling him about how he insisted on working in his condition.

"You're not at all concerned?" she raised an eyebrow at him, looking back at Izaya, who sat talking with Jacob and Cathryn with the laptop in front of him.

"You should know I'm concerned; it just doesn't surprise me. He's stubborn."

"I can tell," Alexa muttered, earning a small chuckle from Shizuo.

Izaya looked up from his laptop then, glancing at both Shizuo and Alexa. "Laughing at my probable almost-demise, Shizu-chan?"

"Keep dreaming."

_Or in other words, "I can't go back to hating you." _Izaya rolled his eyes, focusing on the screen again. _Thing is...I don't think I can, either._

Shizuo walked over to him then, looking over his shoulder at the screen. "What are you doing now? I thought this was all done and over with."

"Did Alexa not tell you?" Izaya sighed, Alexa giving him an awkward shrug in return. "I can almost say that I know for a fact that this isn't over yet, and ninety-nine percent of the time, when I have a hunch, it's right."

Shizuo smirked. "What about that one percent?"

"For once, I'm going to have to ask you to believe in the majority rather than the minority."

Shizuo simply nodded, watching as Izaya scrolled through a few tabs. "What are you even going by to get information? How would we know through this?"

"If he's a clever bastard and not some idiot, I bet you there was something hidden in the fake information you found," Izaya replied, adding sarcastically, "Nice job, by the way."

Shizuo frowned. "A for effort?"

Izaya smirked, closing out of his tabs and closing the laptop, looking up at Alexa. "How much is left of the questioning?"

"Not a lot, probably. There should be enough evidence to show their crimes clearly and have them arrested."

"Unless..." Izaya began, pausing for a moment and blinking in surprise. "I'm the idiot here."

"What do you mean?"

Izaya turned towards Shizuo then. "Thinking back to the information in their system. It took so little time to delete everything because it was only what was relevant. I bet you they carried the police files over to their system before deleting them all here."

Alexa's eyes widened. "So in other words, you were the one that deleted all the evidence?"

"I guess I was."

"So how are you still accessing that?"

Izaya sighed. "Shizu-chan, did you not hear me? I said everything that was _relevant. _That wasn't their location, as we already established. All the information given here was fake."

Shizuo looked away awkwardly, Izaya narrowing his eyes at him, about to speak again when Cathryn spoke up.

"There's got to be something there still," she said, getting up out of her seat and disappearing off to another room, coming back a few minutes later with a shrug. "You were right. Nothing, as if they didn't exist at all."

_What is he trying to accomplish with this? _Izaya pondered, staring blankly out into the room. _As if they didn't exist...I might be reading too far into this, but that is something worth thinking over. Besides the point. Causing so much trouble over something that wasn't even my fault...typical. _

"Izaya?"

The informant blinked, looking over to see Cathryn and Shizuo, eyes on him, Cathryn speaking again. "Did you hear what I said?"

Izaya shook his head. "No, sorry."

"I was saying that some of those involved are in holding right now. Maybe we could get some information out of them?"

"In his condition?" Shizuo blurted out, about to try and cover it up, though earning a glare from Izaya shut him up.

"I'd be happy to," Izaya replied, choosing to ignore Shizuo the best he could at the moment. Getting his mind off of it, he gazed around the room, one question coming to mind. "Where's my jacket?"

Cathryn got back up then, leaving the room once more and coming back with both his jacket and switchblade. "Here, sorry."

Izaya merely nodded, slipping his jacket back on, switchblade returning to his pocket. "Let's go."

* * *

><p>It was silent after Izaya and Cathryn left, with nothing left to go over until they returned - if they even managed to find anything new.<p>

Shizuo kept thinking over his outburst, silently cursing himself over it. Alexa noticed his obvious discomfort, gazing over at him a few times, though neither spoke for the time being.

Over the course of the past few days, Shizuo had developed a small habit of checking his phone, though all seemed to be silent in Ikebukuro, though he knew that was too good to be true - impossible, even. Though, he had at least expected something from Shinra, maybe Celty and Tom as well. Though, there was nothing.

_Hopefully all of this will wrap up soon and we'll be able to go home. _Shizuo sighed, gazing around at the others briskly. _It's nice here, but it's not a vacation._

_Then again, what did I expect from Izaya?_

After a while more passed, Izaya and Cathryn returned, the informant holding a file. "I got a bit, but this might need a bit of thinking through."

At first glance Izaya seemed fine, though when Shizuo looked at him again, there was some sort of discomfort on his face, if not more than that. He seemed really off, making Shizuo wonder what he had possibly found out. "So, what exactly did you find out?"

"I'm getting there, Shizuo," Izaya snapped, taking his place back beside Jacob, setting the file down. Shizuo and Alexa exchanged a glance on who would read it first, Alexa giving a nod towards Shizuo. The blonde nodded in return, taking the file and starting to skim through it, freezing and looking over at Izaya, who didn't make eye contact.

The first page was an article headlining a supposed double homicide, with a picture of what was clearly Izaya's apartment complex, though set ablaze. Past that, however, were the victims' names.

Mairu and Kururi Orihara.

Shizuo was speechless for a moment. He might've acted like it, but he honestly didn't hate the twins. In fact, there were times he quite enjoyed their company, when they weren't reminding him of Izaya. Seeing a picture of the two girls and their names as victims left his heart with a bit of an ache.

_"What, jealous that you can't be as close with Mairu and Kururi?"_

_"Not at all."_

Shizuo managed a small frown at this. _Liar. I knew you were, but now..._

"Izaya..."

"I'm not in the mood, brute," The informant grumbled in response. "I know what you're going to say, but we need to focus on this case, and that's that."

_Focus so we can go home. _Shizuo thought, attempting to protest, but Alexa cut him off. "Can I see that file?"

Shizuo nodded, handing it to her, eyes widening as she read through. "This is...well, ridiculous, to start. They're blaming you for it, even though you're out of the country. Have they pressed charges against you for anything else?"

"Not that I know of," Izaya replied with a shrug. "At least that gives me a better chance of sorting that all out."

"Well, the article was printed two days ago," Alexa continued. "You might want to get back home as quick as you can and deal with this."

"What about the case?"

Both Alexa and Izaya turned towards Shizuo, who didn't turn away this time.

"By the looks of it, both of you really need to get back. We can handle the rest, but thanks for your concern."

"We'll leave tomorrow, then," Izaya said, getting up and putting the laptop back in its case, looking towards Shizuo, and without another word, walked out.

When Shizuo simply sat there, Alexa looked at him questioningly. "You're not going to follow him?"

"I'd rather not get killed today."

Alexa let out an amused huff. "Funny how you're more concerned about him killing you rather than a whole underground organization."

Shizuo shrugged, standing up and making his way towards the door. "Guess I'll take a risk, then."

The hotel wasn't too far away, as a bit of relief, though it made Shizuo catch up to Izaya a bit faster than he wanted to, the other man scowling at him as they kept pace.

"I know you probably want to be alone right now-"

"Congratulations," Izaya muttered.

"But I really think you should talk it out. You can't just bottle everything up like this."

"Who says I have anything bottled up?"

"If you didn't care, you'd be smirking, rejoicing at the fact that two of the most annoying people in your life are now gone."

Izaya didn't reply for the whole way back to their room, the raven haired man curling up on the bed, facing away from Shizuo.

Shizuo let out a sigh, sitting on the edge of the bed. "Izaya, you've got to stop being this stubborn."

"What, do you want me to just pour my heart out for you?" Izaya hissed, sitting up and grabbing the laptop to order the tickets. "Because it's not going to happen."

He was silent for a while, until he looked up at Shizuo, frown still present. "They're not accepting my information."

"What?" Shizuo blinked, scooting over beside him to see that he wasn't lying.

"Don't tell me..." Izaya started, opening a new tab and opening a bank webpage, briskly logging in, and sure enough, there was no money in any of his accounts.

"I..." Izaya froze, burying his face in his hands. "How the hell are we supposed to get home? How..."

The informant stopped, closing his eyes and letting himself fall against Shizuo without a care.

Shizuo was obviously shocked at first, but didn't push him away.

"You're figure something out."

_I doubt it._

* * *

><p><strong>author's note~<strong>

Aaand Izaya steals the spotlight for this chapter. xD I'll stop torturing him (for a while), I promise. /holds up shield

And, with the exceptions of chapters 5-7, this is the fastest I've gotten a chapter done. cx Considering the load of homework I have to do now, though...well, it might be a while for chapter 13. xD" I'll try writing this weekend, though, since it's Labor Day weekend and all, so you might see it soon.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and I'll see you in chapter thirteen~


	13. In The Mourning

**chapter thirteen - in the mourning**

"Izaya, you're going into denial."

"I am not," The informant retorted weakly, frowning at the blonde beside him.

Shizuo let out a sigh. "See, that's a sign you are."

"If I was going into denial, I would know."

"Right," Shizuo muttered, shifting slightly, Izaya moving with him as he kept his place against the blonde's shoulder. "If you weren't in denial, you would be hurrying to get away from me about...an hour ago."

Izaya didn't respond, closing his eyes and leaving the two silent for some time, until Shizuo picked back up. "So, I think I might have a way to get home."

"You're broke."

"That's why I was thinking, maybe I could ask Kasuka?"

"Freeloading off your brother, ne?" Izaya said softly, attempting to not laugh.

Shizuo frowned. "One time only."

"What are you waiting for, then? An invitation?"

Shizuo ignored him, pulling his phone out and dialing Kasuka's number, turning back towards Izaya after a while. "He's sending the money to my account, so I'll handle the tickets."

Izaya couldn't help but laugh now, though his hand went instantly to his side. "Let me see before you order them."

"I'm not going to send us to Mexico."

"You keep telling yourself that."

Shizuo didn't reply, taking the laptop and pulling the ticket page back up, putting everything together before showing it to Izaya again, the informant simply smirking at him.

"Anyway," the blonde started, setting the laptop down beside him. "I'm thinking about going back to work with Tom."

Izaya raised an eyebrow at him. "What, is being a secretary too much for you?"

"Part-time. That way I can help you."

Izaya huffed. "Some help you've been. I don't need it."

"See, you keep telling yourself that, and crap keeps happening."

"Rough week. That's all."

"A rough week, huh."

"Yes. Do you have a problem?"

Shizuo dodged the question, yawning and falling back on the bed. "Well, we should probably get some sleep."

Izaya nodded in return, slumping down and tossing his jacket to the floor.

"What, you aren't going to knock me on the floor?"

"I honestly don't care," Izaya breathed, facing the opposite direction. "Just don't knock me off and we'll be good."

"I'll try," Shizuo smiled, nudging him lightly with his foot. Izaya returned the gesture, muttering in return, "Just go to bed, Shizu-chan."

* * *

><p>Morning came relatively quick for Shizuo, and he found himself a little pleased when he saw that Izaya was still asleep beside him. Pulling his phone out, he saw that they still had a few hours until they had to leave, so he decided to leave the informant alone. It didn't take too long for Izaya to stir, however, sitting up and rubbing his eyes.<p>

"Morning, sleepyhead."

Izaya rolled his eyes, muttering, "Shut up."

"Hey, before we leave, is it alright if we stop by headquarters?"

Izaya blinked, facing Shizuo in slight surprise. "Why?"

"I don't know, it doesn't sit right with me knowing that they saved our asses back there and we barely helped them out."

"Hero, Shizu-chan..."

"How..." Shizuo started, narrowing his eyes and grunting, biting back his response. "Never mind."

Izaya smirked in triumph, kicking his legs over the side of the bed and sliding his jacket back on. "So, are we going to go?"

Shizuo nodded, stepping out of the room, Izaya following after him with their makeshift suitcase, locking the door behind them, dropping the key off when they made it into the lobby. The two hurried out, Izaya taking a look at the time to see that they only had about two hours left.

"Kinda sucks that we can't stay longer, huh," Shizuo said out of nowhere as they hustled down the streets. "It would've been nice to actually have a vacation here."

"Keep dreaming," Izaya replied, eyes not leaving the road ahead of them. "You were the one who made it sound like you didn't even want a vacation in the first place."

Shizuo didn't reply, keeping pace with him until they reached the headquarters, only to see Alexa leaning against the wall outside, a bit surprised to see the two in sight.

"I thought you were leaving?"

"Yeah, well, Shizu-chan wanted to come back and properly say goodbye. And I thought, may as well check on the case if we stop."

Shizuo sighed. "Just wanted to say thanks again."

"And again, thank you," Alexa gave him a small smile. "If you guys could come back, we'd be glad to have you."

"Sounds like a deal," Izaya replied, Alexa turning towards him then.

"Anyway, about the case, they're still pressing for more evidence. I'm supposed to go in today against them, but I can't make any promises. I think they actually leaked that you're in America right now, so I'd be careful at the airport if I were you."

Izaya gave her a nod before turning away. "Will do."

Though Izaya was already walking away, Alexa turned towards Shizuo. "I hope everything goes alright with him."

"Don't we all."

Alexa managed a small chuckle. "Watch out for him, okay? I don't want to hear about you two fighting again."

Shizuo gave her a smile in return before waving her off. "I'll try."

Gazing out into the crowd, Shizuo quickly found Izaya, grabbing his jacket and pulling him backwards, earning a "What the hell?" and a defensive scowl.

"Wasn't trying to give you a heart attack. Sorry."

Izaya sighed. "You're hopeless."

"Lighten up. We're going home."

"Easy for you to say."

Shizuo grasped his shoulder lightly, the informant rounding to face him. "You'll fix it. I know you will."

"What makes you say that?"

"Does there have to be a reason?"

"Yes."

Shizuo rolled his eyes. "Fine then. But, you already know why."

_And what reason might you be referring to? _Izaya fought to not say it aloud, simply gazing up at the blonde with a questioning look.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"It's nothing," Izaya replied nonchalantly, pulling out of Shizuo's grasp and walking ahead. "Let's just get to the airport already."

Shizuo nodded, following after him without another word until they made it on the plane. Thankfully, they had been given no trouble getting into the airport, genuinely surprising the two, though they didn't mind. Especially Izaya, who let out a sigh of relief when he sat down, about to reach for the laptop when Shizuo snatched it from him, earning a glare from the informant.

"No working, flea."

Izaya narrowed his eyes, pulling out his phone next. "What if I just wanted to go on the Dollars chat?"

"Likely story," Shizuo replied, taking his phone, leaving Izaya about to protest when something hit him.

"Shizu-chan, since I can't do it now, would you be so kind to text Celty?"

_What the hell? _Shizuo blinked, grabbing his own phone and flipping it open. "Sure."

To Izaya's relief, Shizuo's phone buzzed a few minutes later with a new text from Celty.

"Why did you need me to talk to her, exactly?"

"No reason."

Shizuo knew it was a lie, but kept his mouth shut, answering his friend instead and leaving the two with yet another silence.

After a while, Izaya let out a sigh and looked over at Shizuo, who already looked half-asleep. "You know, Shizu-chan, if you're going to take away all my stuff, you should at least talk to me."

"Someone's desperate," Shizuo murmured in reply, shifting his position to gaze out the window.

"Tch," Izaya muttered, staring out into the aisle and before he knew it, found himself asleep. Somehow, he managed to sleep for about half of the trip, only to find Shizuo dozing off beside him. Careful to not make much movement, Izaya leaned over to pry his phone out of the blonde's hand, checking his email to see not only angry clients, but concerned ones as well. _News travels fast, I see. Then again, they should've known it was always a risk for my services. Oh, humans. _

At the mention of humans, he gave another glance towards the sleeping Shizuo, eyebrow raised in thought. _He really makes me wonder...why all of a sudden is he becoming more human? It makes no sense. It's so foreign even thinking that he had the possibility of becoming human. _

_Yet..._

Izaya cut himself off, letting out a sigh as he replied to all of his emails and opened the Dollars chat.

[Kanra: Hey everyone~! Miss me~?]

[Taro Tanaka: Hey Kanra. Haven't seen you in a while.]

[Saika: Hello, Kanra-san.]

[Bakyura: Die.]

[Kanra: Now, now, Bakyura, is that any way to welcome back a friend~?]

[Bakyura: Anyway, as I was saying, did you guys hear about what happened with the Oriharas?]

[Taro Tanaka: You mean, Izaya and his sisters?]

[Bakyura: Yup.]

[Saika: What happened?]

[Bakyura: Heard Izaya murdered the two by trapping them in his apartment and setting it on fire.]

[Taro Tanaka: What? You really think he would do that?]

[Setton: I don't think he's that heartless to do that.]

Izaya managed a small smirk. _Thanks, Celty. _He thought, pulling up a private chat, only for Celty to send him one first.

[Setton: How are you doing?]

[Kanra: Fine. Why wouldn't I be? It's not like I did anything.]

[Setton: I know, but I can only imagine what it must feel like. I mean, you never really spoke highly of them, but they were still your sisters.]

[Kanra: You sound just like Shizu-chan. I think he's taking lessons from you.]

Shizuo stirred beside him then, causing the informant to flinch and close out the private chat window, briskly typing away.

[Kanra: Terribly sorry, everyone, but something's come back up for me. I'll see you all when I can~]

To his relief, Izaya had managed to put his phone back before Shizuo opened his eyes, calming himself as he sat as if nothing happened. _Not like it would matter if he saw me anyway. Why was I worried? Damn...all of this is messing with my head._

"Hey, flea."

"Morning, protozoan."

Shizuo muttered something to himself, stretching and slumping back in his seat. "What time is it?"

"Hmm...we still have about six hours left before we land."

"Damn," Shizuo blinked, grabbing his phone to check it. "Probably shouldn't have woken up then."

"I see how it is."

Shizuo managed a small smile. "Sorry."

"Mhmm," Izaya murmured, smirk finding its place on his face again as he looked away in mock hurt.

"Sorry, _Izaya_. There, does that help?"

Izaya turned to face him again, though didn't reply directly. _No, it doesn't._

Shizuo continued to not help his cause, the two talking for the remainder of time they had left on the plane, Izaya letting out a sigh when an announcement sounded, saying they were about fifteen minutes from Ikebukuro. At the sound of that, Shizuo handed Izaya's phone back to him, the laptop as well.

"Tch, last minute changes?"

"Get over it," Shizuo replied lightly, leaving the two with an awkward pause until they filed out into the airport.

"Hey, I forgot to ask," The blonde started, lowering his voice as he continued, noticing people glaring at the two as they stepped off. "What are you going to do with your sisters?"

Izaya thought for a minute, taking a bit longer with the murmurs of the people around him slowing him. Before he could answer, one girl even tried approaching him, about to retort when she noticed Shizuo glaring at her, backing up with blatant fear in her eyes, turning back to her group, one of them muttering just loud enough for both men to catch, "Shizuo Heiwajima with Izaya Orihara? Do you really think they did it _together_?"

With little time to form a response, Izaya gestured towards the exit, Shizuo nodding in reply and following after the informant.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have asked," Shizuo spoke once they made it outside.

"It's fine. Though, as you probably already figured, I want to be able to clear all charges before I do anything. They won't let me anywhere near them otherwise."

Shizuo nodded, waiting for him to continue.

"I considered burying them, but knowing those two, they wouldn't want to be at rest forever like that. So, I think I'm going to cremate them and spread their ashes in the ocean."

"The ocean, huh?"

Izaya nodded in reply. "Yes. When they were younger, those two begged me to take them to the beach during the summer, so they have quite a few memories there."

"You, too," Shizuo added, Izaya blinking at him. "Don't look at me like that. You can't just hide stuff like that."

Izaya didn't reply, walking ahead as if nothing had happened, Shizuo following after him. The informant began to pick up pace, Shizuo still keeping up with him as he led them into town, stopping in front of Shizuo's apartment.

"Well, here you go, protozoan. Home sweet home."

"Where do you think you're going?" Shizuo called after him as Izaya began walking after him, the raven haired man confused for a moment before remembering.

"Right. But you really expect me to stay with you?"

"As your secretary, I'm supposed to help you, aren't I?"

Izaya managed a small chuckle as they approached the front door, Shizuo unlocking it and stepping inside. "Never thought I'd see the day where you invite me into your home."

"Yeah, well, it's not like you have anywhere else to go," Shizuo shrugged, sitting down on the couch, Izaya taking a spot on the opposite side.

"So, I assume I'm sleeping here?"

Shizuo shook his head. "Nah, I'll be nice and sleep here."

Izaya blinked in surprise, not replying.

"Anyway, are you hungry?"

Izaya nodded. "Starving. I've missed my fatty tuna."

Shizuo rolled his eyes, getting back up and turning towards the door. "When was the last time you ate, anyway?"

"I'm not sure."

"Izaya..."

"What?"

Shizuo let out a sigh. "Never mind. I'll be back with your damn tuna."

With that, Shizuo walked out, closing the door as Izaya managed to murmur, "Thank you," his words lost to the air.

Shizuo returned not long after, the two sharing the tuna and finishing it up without a word, leaving Shizuo to take his spot on the couch, nudging Izaya with his foot. "Now, go get some sleep."

"Fine," Izaya yawned, getting up and making his way towards the blonde's room, curling up and finding that sleep came almost instantly to him.

* * *

><p>When Shizuo woke up the next morning, he found a note in front of his face, surprised to see it at first but read through it.<p>

_[Went with Shinra to get this all sorted out. Before you protest, I didn't bring you because they would probably have more reason to not believe me had you come. Sorry, brute~ I shouldn't be gone too long.]_

Shizuo rolled his eyes, placing the note on his coffee table before stretching and taking his phone out of his pocket.

[Hey, is it alright if I come back a little early?]

The reply came instantly. [Meet me in twenty?]

[Will do.]

Shizuo cracked a small smile, taking Izaya's note and adding underneath it, just in case, _[Went to go talk to Tom. I don't know when you or I will be back, so I guess I'll see you whenever.]_

With that, he disappeared down the streets towards the McDonalds where he and Tom normally met, smile returning when he saw the brunette not too far away.

"Yo."

"Shizuo," Tom smiled in return. "Wondered when you'd show up again. I didn't think that the boss would let me keep paying you."

"Yeah, well, I won't be coming back full time, so you won't have to worry too much."

"Why not?"

"I kinda got a job as Izaya's secretary."

Tom's eyes widened as he looked at Shizuo in concern. "Izaya's secretary? You're not taking drugs, are you?"

Shizuo laughed. "Believe it or not, no. We're on better terms now."

"Never thought I'd live to see the day."

"Neither did I."

The two continued chatting for a small while, Tom agreeing to let Shizuo work part-time over lunch.

"Tomorrow, then?" Shizuo called as the two diverged.

"Yup," Tom replied, waving him off, Shizuo making his way back towards his apartment when his phone buzzed, checking to see it was Izaya.

[Everything's fine. I'm about to leave for the beach.]

[Would you mind if I come with you? I'm almost at the apartment.]

[I suppose.]

* * *

><p>"Believe it or not, I actually didn't go to the beach a lot," Shizuo said as he and Izaya stepped out onto the sand of Shirahama Beach.<p>

Izaya managed a light chuckle. "You didn't have two energetic twins to watch after."

Shizuo nudged his good shoulder gently, knocking him off balance for a moment before he stood back up, holding on tightly to the box that contained the twins' ashes.

The two reached the edge of the shore, the sunset tide lapping at their feet as Izaya took a few more steps into the water, gazing out over the ocean. "You know, they're probably going to hate me a bit since they're bound to get separated, but they'll always go back to one another in the end."

Shizuo smiled. "Never thought I'd hear something like that from you."

"Yeah, well, I wouldn't expect anything again."

With that, Izaya opened the box, blowing on the ashes to let them fly forward with the light breeze, backing up to take his place beside Shizuo again, not realizing how close the blonde was until after, their fingertips barely brushing before Izaya stepped away, focusing on the water, closing his eyes and listening to the tide wash in and out.

_Goodbye, Mairu, Kururi._

* * *

><p><strong>author's note~<strong>

I just love this chapter. It's not perfect, but I still love it, even though I keep bending the canon a bit. xD" I kinda grew attached to the idea of Izaya actually being a good brother when he wanted to be, so I figured, why not?

Anyway, I didn't want to give them too many cute moments this early, but that failed. Picturing them on the beach in the end...it was too good to pass up. I admit, it brought out a bit of my dormant fangirl. xD

Also, I'm sorry if they seem a bit OOC here. I probably should've apologized for other chapters, too, but for me it's especially noticeable here. From the last chapter, though, Izaya's a little more vulnerable at this point, so he's bound to have a little change in attitude, but still. I'm trying my best to keep them as IC as I can.

One final note, we finally have a cover~! I didn't get to use the exact one I wanted because it wouldn't have been cropped the way I want it, but I like this one just as much, so why not. cx Even though they haven't had a _real _kiss. Yet~

So, I hope you guys liked this chapter as much as I did, and I'll see you in chapter fourteen~!


	14. Of Secrets and Secretaries

**chapter fourteen - of secrets and secretaries**

After seeing a small glimpse at Izaya's "not-in-denial" side, Shizuo thought maybe the informant had changed, even if just a little bit.

Waking up the next morning only proved him wrong.

The blonde woke up to a slash in yet another one of his bartender shirts, a small bit of blood dappling onto the couch as a result. Sitting up, he realized there was a knife stuck in his left arm, and another in his right. "What the hell...?"

"Just a little something you deserved," Izaya sing-songed from nearby, Shizuo narrowing his eyes at the obnoxious tone.

"What do you mean, 'something I deserved'?"

Izaya smirked. "Not telling."

"What are you, five?"

"If anyone's the five-year old here, I think it's you," Izaya replied as Shizuo pulled the knives out. Smirking to himself, Shizuo waited until the informant had his back to him, aiming the knives at him and throwing them, one barely grazing Izaya's shoulder.

"Shizu-chan!" Izaya yelped, whirling around to face him once more, picking the knives up and placing them in his pockets.

Shizuo's smirk refused to fade as he let out a small chuckle. "Hey, my own flea dartboard. Always wanted one of those."

Izaya narrowed his eyes, taking his switchblade out of his pocket and aiming it at his secretary, pausing when Shizuo held his hands up, lowering it. "Here I thought we were on better terms."

"You started it."

"Yup, definitely a five-year old," Izaya muttered, sitting down on the couch beside him and tossing his folded switchblade between his hands.

"Hey, just because we're on better terms doesn't mean we still can't have a bit of fun here and there," Shizuo shrugged. _Not like I really want him to get hurt or anything...damn, I've got to make up my mind._

"I suppose you have a point," Izaya replied, setting the blade down on the coffee table.

Shizuo nodded, leaning forward and gazing over at the informant. "So, what's on the agenda for today?"

Izaya huffed in amusement. "Someone's perky this morning. And here I thought for sure you'd be at my knees, begging me to take a break."

"Well, I know you'd work anyway, so I figured I may as well not bother."

"Oh, you knew, ne?"

"Yeah, I knew."

Izaya managed a small smirk. "Well, I suppose we could start by cleaning this place up. Honestly, have you ever heard of spring cleaning?"

"It's not even that messy!" Shizuo protested, Izaya raising an eyebrow at him.

"It's disorganized, to say the least. When I have clients visiting, I want my own little area," Izaya replied, standing up and gesturing towards a mostly vacant corner. "Like...there. That way, I can have my own space, and you can have yours."

Shizuo blinked. "Wait, you're already going to have personal client meetings?"

Izaya narrowed his eyes defensively. "Yes, is that a problem?"

The blonde shook his head. "No, not at all."

"Good. Now, what to work with..."

"I could go out and buy you a couple of things."

Izaya blinked. "You have the money?"

Shizuo gave a reluctant nod. "Yeah. Kasuka actually gave me a bit of extra..."

"Well, then, I'll have to remember to pay him once things get back to normal, I suppose. And pay you," Izaya managed a small laugh. "You didn't even get your first paycheck!"

"I expect triple when you do get the money."

"Double. Take it or leave it."

"Fine. But whatever I buy you from now, it's on your tab."

"No," Izaya said simply, folding his arms at the other man.

Shizuo let out a sigh. "Fine, I tried. Anyway, anything in particular you want?"

"A desk, obviously. And a swivel chair. It has to be a swivel chair. A bookshelf would be nice, too," Izaya started, gazing around the apartment. "I see someone doesn't read. Typical."

"There's one in my room, smartass."

"Oops, must've slipped my mind. I thought for sure you'd be the illiterate type."

"Izaya..."

Izaya smirked. "Did I strike a nerve? Oops. Didn't think you'd become temperamental again so quickly."

"Just shut up, and don't touch anything. I'll go get your stuff," Shizuo mumbled, snatching his keys from the table and locking the door behind him. _May as well get some fatty tuna while I'm at it. _The blonde took in a deep breath, releasing it as he slumped slightly against the door for a moment. _What am I even doing anymore? One minute I'm almost pissed off and the next...I just don't get it._

The feeling of standing on the beach came back to him then, a lingering sense from when their fingertips briefly touched remaining. _What are you playing at, Izaya? _

Still, he went and got a cheap desk and swivel chair, dropping them off and heading out to grab some fatty tuna, afterwards realizing one thing he had forgotten.

"Tom."

Shizuo narrowed his eyes, clenching his fists in anger towards his stupidity. _Shit. What time is it?_

Thankfully, he still had an hour left, probably a little more if he hurried, which he did, bursting inside his apartment and tossing Izaya the box of fatty tuna before bolting to the bathroom.

"Someone's in a hurry," Izaya commented, opening the box and plopping a piece in his mouth. "What, do you have a date?"

"Work, you little shit," Shizuo called back, Izaya chuckling to himself.

"Honestly, Shizu-chan, you're quite aggressive this morning."

Shizuo's only reply was turning the shower on.

Izaya let out a small sigh in disappointment, finishing up his ootoro and laying down, taking his phone out and pulling up the Dollars chat.

Shizuo came back out about twenty minutes later, hurrying around to pull himself together, Izaya's gaze drifting towards him every once in a while, amused by the sight, especially when Shizuo fumbled with his bowtie.

"Technical difficulties?"

"Don't you have work to do?"

"Don't answer my questions with a question."

Shizuo sighed, slipping his pack of cigarettes out of his pocket, and as he lit one, rolled his eyes when Izaya let out a fake cough.

"If you're going to light your cancer sticks, could you do it outside?"

"My house, my rules. If you prefer, I could have dropped you off in an alley."

"First of all, this is an apartment," Izaya smirked. "Second of all, I think I'm content here."

_Of course you are. _Shizuo sighed, turning so the smoke blew away from Izaya. "There, this better?"

"Just go," Izaya mumbled, Shizuo managing a small smile and locking the door behind him yet again.

_Locking me in, ne? _Izaya raised an eyebrow, though didn't approach the door just yet, instead setting his laptop down at his new desk, swiveling around in the chair for a moment before pausing. He was about to open the laptop up when his ringtone sounded, pulling his phone out and smirking when he saw the name on the caller ID. "Hello, Namie-chan."

_"Wasn't sure you were going to answer. You only have, what, twenty phones?"_

"For your information, it's only twelve," Izaya replied, thinking to himself, _Though soon it will probably only be down to one._

_"Sure. Anyway, I assume you know why I'm calling."_

"What, lost your brother again?"

_"I want my job back."_

"Willingly?"

_"Sadly."_

Izaya let out a fake gasp. "Namie, I'm hurt!"

Namie sighed. _"Cry my a river, build me a bridge, and get over it."_

"Cynical as ever, I see," Izaya murmured, starting to swirl around in his chair again. "Anyway, I don't think you're aware, but I won't be able to pay you for a while."

Namie was surprisingly unfazed by this. _"Okay."_

"What's this?" Izaya smirked, about to continue but stopped himself. "Well, I'd be glad to have you back."

_"You keep telling yourself that," _With that, she hung up, leaving Izaya to text her one last note before setting his phone down. _Hopefully Shizu-chan won't mind._

_Hopefully? Honestly... _The informant sighed, closing his eyes for a moment.

_Everyone has a foil._

* * *

><p>Coming home to see an asleep Izaya on his couch was definitely not on Shizuo's agenda.<p>

The blonde laughed to himself at the thought of Izaya acting normal again, yet regaining that innocent smile on his face when he was asleep, though as before, it still puzzled him. _You can't help but wonder what goes on in that twisted head of his.__  
><em>

Hesitantly, Shizuo stepped forward and shook Izaya's shoulder gently. "Izaya?"

"Welcome back, protozoan," Izaya said softly, smile instantly replaced by his smirk. "Did you kill anyone today?"

"Shut up," Shizuo muttered, sitting down at the informant's feet and nudging them aside, Izaya kicking him feebly in return. "How about you? Ruin any lives?"

"No, actually. Though, Namie is coming back to work with me now," Izaya replied smoothly, recognizing a bit of concern in Shizuo's expression. "Don't worry, you can keep your night shift."

"Looks like there won't be a night shift today, though."

"I'm not that tired," Izaya protested, yawning immediately after he finished, earning a smirk from Shizuo.

"One more hour," The informant murmured, reaching over to grab his phone.

"Fine," Shizuo replied, grabbing the TV remote and doing a bit of channel surfing, settling on a random horror movie. Izaya was amused by this, though didn't say anything until about an hour in, with Shizuo somehow wrapped up.

"She dies."

"Alright then, Mr. God Complex," Shizuo muttered, rolling his eyes.

Izaya simply smirked. "It's what I do best."

"Yeah, I've noticed."

"What, you can see it happening from a mile away!"

Shizuo nodded though didn't bother to reply, leaving their usual silence to return, and with this, Shizuo realized after a while that Izaya had fallen asleep again. Chuckling to himself, he grabbed the other man's phone before it fell out of his hand, setting it down on the coffee table. He felt bad about just leaving the informant to sleep on the couch, but he figured if he carried him out, he'd be dead by morning. So, he gave one last look to Izaya before heading down to his room, a small smile creeping onto his face, though he didn't pay any mind to it.

_Good night, flea._

* * *

><p>"Ah, Shizu-chan, you're up," Izaya called as Shizuo returned to the living room the next morning, noticing that Namie had already arrived. She simply raised an eyebrow at him, leaving him to assume that Izaya hadn't told her what exactly was going on.<p>

"So, this is your secretary you told me nothing about," Shizuo replied, Namie unflinching.

"Likewise for you."

Out of the corner of his eye, Shizuo could Izaya fighting the urge to laugh, though he took a deep breath, stepping between the two. "Now, now, you two, be nice. We don't need competition."

"I won't even be here when she is, so I see no problem," Shizuo replied, facing Namie again who was still blank, almost.

"You're here now."

Izaya managed a small chuckle then, popping up behind Shizuo and nudging him towards the door. "Right then. Shouldn't you be leaving, Shizu-chan?"

"Someone's in a hurry to get rid of me. And out of my own apartment, at that," Shizuo murmured, sliding his sunglasses on and stepping out, closing the door behind him.

Namie turned back towards Izaya, a questioning gaze in her eyes. "Care to tell me what's going on?"

Izaya shrugged, sitting back down in his chair and shifting it from side to side. "It's a bit of a story."

"I have time."

Letting out a small sigh, Izaya began to explain, obviously leaving out a few details. He was used to Namie's criticism at this point, but with that besides the point, she didn't need a whole life story. Plus, if she heard about the kiss, she would never let him live that one down. After all, as he told Shizuo, an informant has his secrets.

When he was finished, Namie simply nodded. "Sounds like you've been pretty busy."

"Quite," Izaya replied, attention reverting back to his laptop as he scrolled through his email, groaning at the sight of his inbox. _It seems like all of Ikebukuro will have come to me in just this past month..._

Namie peered over his shoulder, letting out a small chuckle. "What, work getting too much for you?"

"Of course not, my dear Namie-chan," Izaya brushed it off lightly. "I'm just amazed at how many people need information these days."

She wasn't buying it, though didn't say anything, except for a doubtful, "Mhmm," before turning towards the kitchen. "I assume Shizuo wouldn't mind if I just get a coffee, right?"

"Make yourself at home."

And so began their new trend - Shizuo leaving for work, Namie coming over, Shizuo coming home at about ten, Namie leaving, Shizuo having Sundays off, and Izaya working through all of this, settling in nicely to the new arrangement, though he would admit it was a bit tiresome after a while.

Shizuo, on the other hand, found himself a bit uncomfortable with this. It just felt strange, even though he only saw Namie for about an hour every day, save for Sunday. And, he wouldn't admit it to even himself, but Shizuo found himself starting to miss the days where it was just him and Izaya, whether this had only been a process for a month or not.

September was beginning to turn into October, and Shizuo was finding it hard to believe that it had already been almost two months since this all started.

Started with a kiss.

Of course, that had to come to him again. And of all moments, when Izaya was sitting straight across from him, eyes on him as Shizuo's eyes widened in disgust.

"You seem quite uncomfortable, Shizu-chan."

"This is just weird, that's all," Shizuo shrugged, attempting to evade the question, but Izaya caught him.

"Weird? How?"

Shizuo was a bit hesitant to reply, but he figured Izaya would pester him until it came out, so he made the decision to speak, only after Izaya had already gotten up and sat down beside him. "What, cat got your tongue?"

"Fine," The blonde muttered, shifting a bit. "It just feels weird getting along with you, alright?"

Izaya let out an amused huff. "I thought we already established that."

"I know, but," Shizuo paused, Izaya looking at him expectantly. "I guess I don't get what I'm trying to say here."

"I think you do."

"Of course you do."

Izaya smirked. "Never underestimate an informant."

"At least someone's back to normal," Shizuo muttered, earning an eyebrow raise from Izaya.

_You don't even know, protozoan. _"You're right. You really haven't been normal, Shizu-chan. Care to explain?"

"How do I explain something I don't even understand?"

"You don't even understand your own emotions?" Izaya laughed. "But you're just a protozoan."

Shizuo narrowed his eyes, turning back to face Izaya, and even though the informant was facing away, he noticed the surprising contrast in their expressions. Somehow, Izaya's smirk vanished, and that was at least worth a bit of concern. "I'm not that simple."

"You're right, you're extremely difficult to work with."

Shizuo placed his hand on Izaya's shoulder, making him face him. "Izaya, I'm being serious."

"And who says I'm not?" Izaya pointed out, not pulling away. "You're incredibly stubborn."

"So aren't you."

"At least I didn't force you to do anything."

"I don't force you to do anything!"

Izaya regained his usual smug look at this point, imitating Shizuo's tone as he replied. "Oh? I believe I've heard many a, 'Izaya, get the hell out of Ikebukuro!' in my day."

"That was then."

Izaya placed a finger over the blonde's lips, silencing him. "I wasn't finished."

Shizuo didn't reply, simply nodding as Izaya smirked at him.

"Let's see...you almost forced answers out of me over the whole kiss incident, you locked me inside of a hotel room, you pretty much forced me to take breaks..."

Shizuo made a small noise of protest, though went silent when Izaya cast him a threatening glare.

"I think I rest my case. I bet you can't name a single time I forced you to do something."

Shizuo rolled his eyes. _You're pretty much forcing me to shut up. Does that count?_

Izaya let out an amused huff, though didn't pull his finger away yet. "You know, this is nice, not having to hear you rant and rave..." he taunted, eyes gleaming in success, though Shizuo didn't protest. "Damn," The informant continued after a while, finally pulling his finger away. "Must be some internal conflict."

"Yeah, well, you're no therapist."

"I would be an amazing therapist."

"I wouldn't even pay you a quarter of a yen," Shizuo smirked.

Izaya feigned shock, placing a hand over his heart. "I'm hurt!"

"Go complain about it to Namie," Shizuo laughed, looking over at the clock for a brief second. "So, I assume you're staying up?"

"What, planning on forcing me to sleep?"

"Just get some sleep, flea," Shizuo replied, kicking his legs out as Izaya got up, slipping his jacket off and falling backwards onto the blonde's bed.

_You really are something, Shizu-chan._

* * *

><p><strong>author's note~<strong>

Izaya Orihara for Best (/cough/) Therapist of 2014.

That is all.

xD

Finally got this chapter out. e-e Sorry about that guys. I know it's not that late (really only a day), but still. With me having two fics out now, I thought it was a little unfair, so I made sure I got this one updated first.

While I am happy about this chapter (minus that ugly time skip), I'm a bit clueless on where I'm going to take chapter fifteen, so it might be a bit delayed - unless I get another amazing 4am idea. xD I'll think of something, though, I promise.

So, I guess I'll see you then~


	15. Love is War

**chapter fifteen - love is war**

"Could you stop waving your debit card in my face?"

Izaya let out a sigh, turning his head so it was pointed away from the blonde in a small pout. "I guess someone doesn't want their paycheck."

"Paycheck?" Shizuo blinked. "Already?"

"It's been two months," Izaya replied, facing his laptop and typing away.

Shizuo shrugged. "Don't you want to save it for a while?"

Izaya raised an eyebrow. "Let's not forget I make thrice what you do in six months."

"Still. You were completely broke."

Izaya shot him a warning glare, leaving the blonde to turn away and make his way towards the couch. America had become a touchy subject for the two, which was understandable, but Izaya had made it clear he was a force not to be reckoned with, even for Shizuo. He was overly temperamental around the blonde, yet around Namie, he was as normal as ever, leaving him to think that maybe he had stirred some long-buried anger in Izaya. Shizuo was just thankful that the informant hadn't taken his anger out physically - save for the knives in his arms that one time. It even made him wonder what Izaya would be like if he had Shizuo's strength. Obviously, all hell would break loose, though it seemed that already happened.

There were even some days where Shizuo thought about how their days might have run their course had any of this been avoided. A couple times he even forgot that it was his own fault, constantly avoiding the fact that it had been him to make the move, simply blaming the kiss itself on all of this. He even attempted to convince himself that Izaya kissing him was how it all started - though, it wasn't like he wanted to remember that, either.

_Dammit...dammit...dammit!_

"Something wrong, Shizu-chan?"

"No," Shizuo grumbled, turning away and cursing himself under his breath, tensing up as Izaya grabbed his shoulder from behind.

"Lighten up," Izaya told him, sliding in front of him. "I'm treating you and Namie to dinner later, you know."

_Great, because that will turn out well. _Shizuo bit back his response, simply nodding his head.

"What, no thanks?" Izaya pouted. "I see how it is."

"Listen, Izaya," Shizuo made up his mind, calming himself and speaking. "I've been meaning to ask. Is something up with you? You always ask if something's bothering me, but..."

"Why wouldn't I be fine?" Izaya cut him off, a small frown now present on his face.

"I can think of a couple of things..." Shizuo murmured, not meaning to say it aloud.

"Oh? Care to name them?" The informant had now pulled out his switchblade, unfolding it and pointing it to Shizuo's neck, the blonde about to answer when the door opened from behind them, Namie stepping inside.

Izaya seemed to instantly forget about Shizuo, pulling the knife away and sliding it back into his pocket as if nothing happened. "Good morning, Namie-chan."

"Hello, Izaya, Shizuo," Namie replied grimly, eyes wandering towards Izaya's pocket and then back up at Shizuo, blinking in question.

Shizuo simply nodded his head in greeting, taking his leave to the kitchen, only to have Namie follow him, both to set the coffee pot, and when she thought Izaya wasn't paying any mind, turned towards the blonde once more.

By now, Shizuo was used to Namie's morning ritual of getting coffee for herself and Izaya, the two conversing a bit during that small time each Sunday, and throughout the day. He could safely say that they were getting along quite well, though weren't anything close to friends. Though, as he thought about it, that might not be such a bad idea.

"So, what did you do this time?" Namie asked, watching as Shizuo wolfed down a quick breakfast before answering her.

"I wouldn't say I did anything," he replied, partially true, though at the same time, he didn't feel all that comfortable having to explain the situation.

Namie managed a small smile. "Oh? Then why was he pointing his knife at you?"

"In case you haven't noticed, something's wrong with him."

"Aside from being a sadistic bastard?"

"I can hear you, you know," Izaya called, startling the two, Shizuo almost dropping his glass of milk.

Namie rolled her eyes, lowering her voice. "I will admit, he does seem a bit off. Are you sure something didn't happen between you two?"

Shizuo sighed. "I have one idea, but there's no guarantee it's true."

"Care to tell me?"

"Eh..." Shizuo started, chugging down his milk to distract himself for a brief moment. "It's not all that important. If he has something against me still, I'll bring it up with him."

Namie nodded. "Alright, I understand. Just don't anything that'll lower our pay."

Shizuo managed a feeble smile. "I'll try."

Namie returned the gesture, taking the coffee pot and pouring two cups, making her way over to Izaya to hand him his.

"You know, Namie-chan, talking about me behind my back isn't going to get you anywhere," Izaya said nonchalantly, taking a sip of his coffee.

"You only wish I talked about you behind your back," Namie murmured, leaning against the desk so her back was to him.

Shizuo huffed in amusement, heading off to take a shower, though couldn't help but stop to listen in on their conversation.

"This is probably too big of a delay for this, but what happened to your plan?"

_His plan?_

"Ah, I was wondering when you'd ask that," Izaya replied, Shizuo watching as he stood up and circled around his secretary. "I've been thinking about how to revise it, now that I'm missing a crucial part. Though, I assume you're quite relieved."

Namie scoffed at him. "I want Seiji to be happy, that's all. While I don't particularly want him with another girl, especially Mika, the head is out of the way now, and maybe he'll begin to forget."

"I doubt it. Love is a very powerful thing. Your love for your brother has ceased to fade after all this time, and it remains a prominent part of your character."

"As your love for humans does."

"Exactly," Izaya smirked. "My love for my humans will not die as long as I continue to exist. Just as I doubt that your love for Seiji will fade. In a way, it overpowers even your hatred for Mika and the head."

_Love overpowers hatred, huh. _Shizuo blinked, wanting to listen in more, though he noticed Izaya turning in his direction and slipped away, sighing in relief that the other man hadn't seen him, or at least called him out for it.

The rest of the day was generally quiet and inactive, with Izaya and Namie out for client meetings half of the day, Izaya even disappearing for about two hours, worrying Shizuo - though he wouldn't admit it.

"I swear, if he goes and gets shot again..." he muttered to himself as he fixed up Izaya's desk, figuring he may as well make himself useful.

Namie overheard him, gazing over at the blonde. "I thought he was all done with that?"

"He has a hunch," Shizuo sighed, taking a second to peek at the laptop screen, several tabs left open. "I wouldn't be surprised if that Nakamura guy tried to go after him again."

"Reminds you of yourself, huh," Namie replied, startling him as he turned to face her.

"Damn, you're getting good at this."

Namie shrugged. "Well, it's kind of hard to forget you two going at it everyday."

"Yeah," Shizuo murmured, sitting down on the couch away from her.

"How do you even feel about having changed?"

"It's...different, I can say that much. We still go at it sometimes, but at least we're not destroying the whole city."

Namie nodded, crossing her arms and leaning back against the couch. "You two are still the talk of the town, though."

"Believe me, I know," Shizuo let out a sigh, folding his hands together and staring down at them in thought. "I feel like everyone just slowly started questioning me. Erika, especially," he paused, rolling his eyes at the thought of the texts he had received from her shortly after the rumors began. "I'm used to it at this point, but then again, everyone's always looked at me, whether in fear or question."

"Well, you aren't half bad, if I do say so myself."

Shizuo managed another smile. "So aren't you."

The two continued to talk for a while, Izaya returning a short while after, abruptly asking, "So, ready to go?"

Shizuo blinked, giving a momentary glance towards the clock to see that it was a little after seven. _Damn. That went by fast._

"I'd like to assume you're not going to poison us," Namie replied smugly, Izaya's expression mirroring hers.

"I'll save that for next week."

"That aside, where exactly are we going?"

"Russia Sushi, of course," Izaya replied, turning to walk out again. "Why, did you two expect some big, fancy restaurant?"

Namie and Shizuo exchanged glances, Izaya simply laughing at the two. "Come on, Simon hasn't gotten a lot of business lately. You'll live."

"I've never actually eaten at Russia Sushi," Namie murmured as the three made their way out.

Shizuo blinked. "What, Izaya never sent you on fatty tuna runs?"

"Of course he did. I just never bothered to try anything."

"Well, if Simon tries to give you the special, don't take it. Or really anything on the first half of the menu," Shizuo replied, earning a small smile from Namie.

"Except for fatty tuna, that is," Izaya added, skipping along ahead of the two, Shizuo rolling his eyes at him. Honestly, he was a bit concerned still about Izaya's health, though he had been getting a decent amount of sleep, and hadn't had any major issues with his wounds. His visits to Shinra were still fairly common, though you wouldn't have guessed that he had been shot a good two months prior. Shizuo did notice, however, that the informant still seemed to have a bit of issues with his shoulder, though he hid it, or at least attempted.

The trio reached Russia Sushi in no time at all, Simon greeting them like any other customer until he realized what exactly he was looking at.

"Ah, Shizuo, Izaya, you no fighting now?"

Izaya shook his head. "We're at a temporary stalemate."

"Stalemate?" Shizuo raised an eyebrow at him, though Izaya silenced him with a simple glare, shooing his secretaries inside and beginning to speak to Simon in Russian.

Namie turned towards Shizuo and shrugged, walking in first, scouting out for a spot, though Shizuo noticed her tense up and almost back up into him.

"Something wrong?"

"Seiji," Namie murmured, gesturing her head towards where her brother and his girlfriend were sitting, narrowing her eyes, not at him, but at herself. Shrugging it off for a brief moment, the two took their seat, Shizuo gazing out towards Izaya to see that he was clearly too busy to care.

"I hate to say it, but I overheard you and Izaya earlier, and it seems like you're getting over him, right?"

Namie sighed. "More like attempting to. I suppose that bastard can be right about a couple of things."

Shizuo managed a small chuckle, though left his humor to rest. "It's that hard for you, huh?"

Namie was amused by this. "Are you telling me you've never liked someone before?"

Shizuo shook his head. "You kidding? Every girl's been too scared of me, so I don't bother."

"Well, I say your threatening factor has gone done a bit. How long has it been since you've had any property damage fines?"

"Two months."

"See?" Namie gave him a reassuring smile, both herself and Shizuo unsure of where this was all coming from. "If there's anyone this town's been worried about, it's Izaya."

"But he cleared his charges."

Namie shrugged. "Doesn't mean people don't still spread rumors."

As if by mention of him, Izaya appeared in front of the two, squeezing in between them as they made their orders, both Shizuo and Izaya noticing Namie's anxious glances across the tables.

"I see someone remembers our conversation," Izaya whispered, giving her an innocent smirk, though she was not amused by this, turning her head away.

"Watch it, flea," Shizuo murmured, Izaya turning towards him in surprise.

"What's this? You two really have been getting along," Izaya chuckled. "Makes sense. You're both incest."

"Wanna die?"

Izaya smirked in a slight victory. "You wouldn't be able to kill me if you tried."

Shizuo clenched his fists, about to make a move when Namie's words came back to him. _You're not half bad._

Noticing the blonde calm down, Izaya blinked at him in surprise, beside him, Namie dumbfounded as well, neither speaking.

After a while, Namie cleared her throat, turning towards the two. "Well. It isn't poisoned."

"I'm just surprised you actually tried the fatty tuna," Izaya said cooly, reverting back to his usual self. "You didn't want to order what Se-"

"Yes, I tried the fatty tuna. That's all there is to it."

"You know, Namie-chan, if you aren't going to be mature about this..."

Namie raised an eyebrow. "Who says I'm not being mature?"

Izaya shrugged, not bothering to reply this time, leaving another silence in the group until they eventually finished their meal, Simon waving them out as they made for Shizuo's apartment.

"I should probably go," Namie called from behind the two, both rounding to face her. "Don't kill each other tonight, alright?"

"No guarantees," Izaya replied, facing Shizuo again and skipping down until they reached the apartment.

Shizuo was lost in thought during their short walk that it took him a while to realize that Izaya was calling his name from the door, asking for the key. The blonde nodded, tossing it to him and meeting up with him, managing to gently grasp his arm as they stepped inside. Izaya blinked, though didn't bother to face him or break out of his grasp.

"Before you go running off, there's something I've been meaning to ask you."

"That doesn't sound too good," Izaya replied as Shizuo released his arm, allowing him to turn around.

"Just listen."

Izaya's eyes glinted in signal of a challenge. "Make me."

Shizuo flinched at his words, though they provoked a bit of thought in him, giving him a short moment to think twice. _Fine. If you aren't going to listen to me, I'll make you listen. Beat you at your own game. _

The blonde took a step closer, Izaya appearing as if he wanted to take a step back, leaving little breathing room between the two.

"What am I to you these days? Monster or human?"

Izaya blinked, attempting to fight back a fit of laughter as he gave his obvious reply. "Monster, as always. You haven't changed a bit."

"It didn't sound like you thought that earlier."

"What, you really think I meant that towards you?"

"In a way, yes," Shizuo replied firmly. "I know that you know I was listening in. You wouldn't have brought it up otherwise."

"You're getting good at this," Izaya murmured, though his expected smirk was absent.

_Now's your chance. _Shizuo told himself. _Get him while he's vulnerable. But how... _The blonde froze, absolutely disgusted with himself at his thought, though let out a sigh, focusing on Izaya again. _It might just work, though._

Without another moment's hesitation, Shizuo leaned in and brushed their lips together without preamble, earning a small noise of shock from Izaya. The informant tensed up for a brief moment, though didn't pull away, returning the gesture and allowing it to span out for another moment before Shizuo pulled away.

"Why?"

Shizuo blinked, expecting to witness complete fury from the other man, though he simply crossed his arms and kept a neutral expression.

When Shizuo didn't reply, Izaya repeated himself. "Why did you do it, Shizu-chan?"

"I don't know."

"What do you mean, you don't know?"

Shizuo remained silent, averting his eyes until Izaya stepped forward, taking his head in his hands and making the blonde face him once more. "You're so difficult sometimes, in understanding and actions."

"So aren't you."

Izaya raised an eyebrow, lowering his hands, waiting for him to continue.

"I can somewhat understand why you're so pissed off, but do you really have to make it this difficult?"

"You were the one who went and made things difficult in the first place."

"Oh, and how was that?"

Izaya took position again, and Shizuo would've swore he was going to slap him had he not wrapped his arms around the blonde's neck. Shizuo was about to protest when Izaya kissed him, surprisingly gentle and not as forced as he had made it, allowing him to fall off guard, though some part of him was screaming, _Why are you kissing the flea, of all people?!_

His thoughts were quickly buried, however, as the kiss deepened, leaving Shizuo to abruptly pull away for air, feeling the smirk creep onto Izaya's lips as he did so. Shizuo turned away, not in embarrassment, but more in disbelief and so he refused the urge to harm Izaya for this. _That clever bastard._

After a moment, Izaya placed his hand on Shizuo's shoulder, his secretary tensing at the touch but turning to face him in question. "Ne, Shizu-chan?"

"What?" Shizuo asked, a bit concerned for what was to come next, especially with Izaya sporting a small grin.

"You piss me off."

* * *

><p><strong>author's note~<strong>

I can hear both the fangirly and enraged screams now. /casually holds up shield

I personally died on the inside when I thought of the last sentence, and I just...I couldn't get rid of it.

And, _they finally kissed you guys_

...and I totally wasn't blasting Love is War while writing this, either. Totally.

Anyway, I hope you're happy now. cx" And hopefully it isn't too rushed. I mean, we're officially about 1/4 through this fic now. While it isn't the most emotional thing ever and it could be written a lot better, (and there is a reason why, you guys just have to be patient) they're still being difficult. I can see it starting to fade with this established, but I don't really have a set time for when it'll stop. This is Shizuo and Izaya we're talking about, after all.

Also, I know a lot of you probably won't be, but I'm personally quite happy with Namie slowly gaining a role here. cx Don't worry, she's not going to get in between them. The last thing I want here is a love triangle. I will say that she's probably OOC (now watch me get a rant against that xD") but I'm content with this chapter.

Now that we've come this far, I'd really appreciate some feedback about how you think the story's going so far. I feel like it's a mix between being slow and then rushed, but I'm extremely biased here, so I can't really say much. xD" I just don't want to go on for another 1/4 and end up disappointing you all halfway through (which I probably still will anyway - no arguments here xD)

Anyway, I really want to thank you guys for getting me this far. 3 This is a pretty big milestone for me, as I've never finished this much in this amount of time - and that I could be proud of, too. It hasn't even been two full months yet, which is crazy. I will admit, I was _extremely _lax with this chapter, but you guys are slowly getting me to stop procrastinating and get these chapters out for you all. It's stressful sometimes, feeling like I'll disappoint you, but hey, you guys manage to surprise me every time. c:

So, thank you so much for sticking with me so far, and hopefully the next chapter will be out soon for you all~


	16. The Hypocrite and the Secret-Keeper

**chapter sixteen - the hypocrite and the secret-keeper**

Silence dominated the days following the kiss, with both Shizuo and Izaya distracting themselves with work, pressure on them to not let anything slip.

Izaya especially made it clear he didn't want word to get around.

"If you even so much as think about telling Namie, or anyone else about this, I _will _kill you."

Shizuo smirked, clearing his throat and doing his best imitation of the other man's voice. "You wouldn't be able to kill me if you tried."

Izaya narrowed his eyes. "Smartass."

A small smile crept onto Shizuo's face, alarming Izaya for a moment. "I thought the position of smartass was taken by you?"

"I thought I was the sadistic bastard?"

"See, you tell me not to answer questions with questions, but you do it anyway," Shizuo pointed out, grinning as Izaya shot him a threatening glare. "Maybe we should call you a hypocrite instead."

"I wouldn't get too comfortable, if I were you," The raven haired man murmured, turning his back to him. "I meant what I said."

"I know you did, and you obviously chose to say that for a reason."

Izaya chose to remain silent, crossing his arms and returning to his desk to begin his long streak of work hours, forming a reply for himself. _Sometimes, Shizu-chan, we can't explain why.__  
><em>

Since Shizuo hadn't gotten this answer, however, the blonde was left to debate with himself whether or not he should get Izaya to come around, with the better question being _how. _Shizuo tried desperately to get it out of his head, but Izaya had done enough damage already, and he was sure the informant was getting a taste of his own medicine, to some extent. Nonetheless, it was an awkward week, Shizuo barely even hearing a word out of Izaya's mouth.

One day, however, Shizuo awoke to hear Izaya say, "I'm still pissed at you, you know" in the distance, blinking and sitting up from his spot on the couch, only to see that he was on the phone. _Good. That would've been a hell of a "good morning."_

Izaya was silent for a while, not noticing Shizuo for some time, until he suddenly raised his voice, shifting his gaze and meeting eye to eye with his secretary. Lowering his voice, the informant said, "I'll call you back later," flipping his phone shut and keeping his eyes on Shizuo, who tried to look away, though Izaya was obviously not happy.

"What do you want?"

_Well, you could stop acting like a little bitch, for starters. _Shizuo didn't reply, shifting and distracting himself with the TV, scrambling for the remote when Izaya appeared at the rear of the couch, frown present.

"Can I help you?"

"No, you can't, actually," Izaya replied bluntly, turning away.

Shizuo snorted. "Really? Seems like you need help with _something._"

"It's none of your business."

"As your secretary, I think it is part of my business."

"Maybe I should fire you, then," Izaya replied nonchalantly, still not facing Shizuo. "Not like I need to live here anymore. You could back to your normal life, which I'm sure you want."

"Izaya..."

"You're telling me you actually want to remain my secretary?" Izaya raised an eyebrow, finally facing him and sitting down on the end of the couch, folding his arms. "Honestly-"

"What happened to you?"

Izaya blinked, ignoring the fact that Shizuo interrupted him for a moment and simply facing him in question. "What do you mean?"

Shizuo shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I just thought, maybe..."

Trailing off, he realized the gleam in Izaya's eyes, blinking at him in concern, knowing that he had something to say. "I'm just a little overtired, I suppose."

"Overtired my ass," Shizuo grumbled, swearing up and down that he hadn't said it aloud until he saw Izaya's look of disgust. "Izaya, I didn't-"

"Making up excuses now, are we?" Izaya snapped. "If there's anyone who should be asked 'What happened to you?', it should be you."

Shizuo simply nodded, staring down at his hands in defeat.

"Oh, and by the way," Izaya called as he made his way towards the door. "Maybe we should call you hypocrite instead."

With that, Izaya was gone, though Shizuo knew he would return. He wouldn't just storm out without all his stuff. _Besides, he has something planned. He just doesn't know what to do, and it's my fault. _

_Not sure if I should feel accomplished or not._

Shizuo took in a deep breath, exhaling lightly and closing his eyes, slumping against the couch. He was so conflicted in that moment that he wanted to just close his eyes and slip away for a while - until Izaya was back in order, at least. It was still an insane thought thinking that any of this was happening, especially after he thought they were making progress, but it was reality, and he supposed he would have to deal with it. At least, until either of them possibly snapped and went back to normal.

Feeling himself start to slip away, Shizuo relaxed his mind for a brief moment until his phone vibrated, clenching his fists at the sound and sitting back up, snatching it off the coffee table. His mood altered at the name, however. [Hey Celty.]

[Hi. I just wanted to see if I could talk to you for a bit. I barely see you around these days.]

[Yeah, it has been a while, huh? Anyway, something wrong?]

[No, no, everything's fine.]

Shizuo smiled. [If you say so. If I find out something's wrong, though, I'll be right over.]

[I know you will, and thank you for that. But, I actually wanted to ask you something.]

[Go for it.]

[How are things going with Izaya?]

Shizuo blinked, smile beginning to falter, though inhaled again, letting it out calmly. _I swear, it's like everyone can read my mind. _[Well, things are...interesting, to say the least.]

[Interesting...? What did he do?]

[I don't think it's so much what he did, but what I did.]

[What did you do? You didn't kill him, did you?]_  
><em>

Shizuo managed a small chuckle. [Nah, and I don't plan on it. Anyway, I feel bad because I didn't tell you before, but we kind of kissed.]

[What?!]

Just as he went to reply to her text, another one popped up in his inbox, and another.

[You and Izaya?!]

[I knew Shinra was carrying on about something, but...!]

_He told Shinra?! _Shizuo narrowed his eyes, though dismissed it for the moment. [Somehow, yeah.]

It took Celty a few moments to reply, though Shizuo noticed she had calmed herself down. [And how do you feel about that?]

Shizuo thought for a moment, lips curving into a frown at the returning memory. [Well, conflicted, for starters. I kinda liked how we were slowly getting on better terms, but I tried to take advantage of that fact and get him while he was vulnerable. Lesson learned there. But, the thing is, he voluntarily kissed me back. It could just be him being his bastard self, but I know he has something in mind, and he chose that to get through to me.]

[It wouldn't be surprised if that's true. If I were you, I'd be a bit more careful around him.]

[I've tried that, but it seems like all I do is fail.]

[From what I understand, you do want his friendship, and it will take time to get rid of that wall you two built. You mentioned Izaya being vulnerable, though. He's a difficult person in general, but maybe he just doesn't know how to react. Trial and error, Shizuo. Give him a couple more days, and if what you have to say doesn't work, keep trying.]

[I will, Celty. Thanks.]

[You're welcome.]

Shizuo flipped his phone shut, gazing over at the door impatiently. He tried not to expect Namie to show up - for all he knew, Izaya might have actually ditched him.

As the day went on, that thought seemed more and more likely. Shizuo decided he wasn't going to leave the apartment, however, should Izaya show up. So, he simply lounged around watching TV, having periods where he even forgot about Izaya. It was almost normal, being his first real day alone in his apartment in the past two months, three if you counted the first month working for Izaya.

It was refreshing, for one. Though, as much as he didn't want to admit it, he had gotten used to having company, whether it be Izaya, Namie, or both.

And, as a small fragment of him guessed, Izaya returned that night, Shizuo turning to face him from his spot on the couch. "And where were you all day?"

"None of your business," Izaya replied coldly, plopping down beside him.

"Yeah, I thought so," Shizuo murmured.

Izaya smirked. "Good, you're catching on."

"At least I do something right."

Izaya blinked, choosing not to respond for a moment, though Shizuo knew he had something to say, but for once, bit it back. _At least his attitude changed a bit. I guess._

"Anyway," Shizuo started, turning to face him. "It's probably a bad time, but I wanted to ask you something."

"Enlighten me."

"I wanted to ask about your plan."

Izaya raised an eyebrow, smirk slipping onto his face in amusement. "Oh?"

Shizuo nodded, signaling for Izaya to continue with a shrug. "Well, it's still a bit of a work in progress. As I'm sure you heard, I'm missing a vital part."

"Yeah, I heard something about head. You don't mean..."

"I do."

"Why the hell did you have a _head?_" Shizuo froze after speaking, eyes widening in thought. _Wait. He can't mean..._

"That's why you wanted me to talk to Celty on the plane, wasn't it?"

"Ah, it's so frustrating when you start to use your brain," Izaya let out a light sigh. "Yes, you're right. I had Celty's head."

"Now she'll never get it back!"

Izaya shrugged. "I'd say I did her a favor."

"One hell of a favor," Shizuo grumbled, thinking of Celty's reaction to finding out that there was no chance of her finding her head now, a part of him feeling crushed by it.

"Why are you so upset? I'd say she's gotten accustomed just fine without it, and besides, Shinra loves her without it," Izaya replied, standing up and circling around the couch. "I did her a favor by showing her she doesn't need her head to be herself. Don't you think that's a valuable lesson?"

"But think of how much it meant to her! Twenty years of searching, and this happens."

Izaya sighed, pausing and taking his place beside him again. "Honestly, Shizu-chan, you're quite selfish."

"What's so selfish about wanting a friend to find what they've been looking for all these years?"

"What do you think is more important to her? Her head, or Shinra?"

Shizuo blinked. "Shinra, obviously."

"See?" Izaya's expression softened, though he still folded his arms as he faced the blonde. "Wouldn't you say that's a favor, then? Showing her what's on the inside is more important."

Shizuo managed a small smile. "Since when have you been trying to be a good person?"

"Who says my interference with humans always has to be negative?"

"At least you treat Celty as a human."

"Is that jealousy I hear?" Izaya smirked, Shizuo rolling his eyes at him in response.

"If you're that desperate to be treated like a human, maybe you could start acting like one."

Shizuo raised an eyebrow at him, Izaya holding his hands up in defense as he noticed the blonde slowly clench his fists. "See, this is what I'm talking about."

Shizuo merely nodded, relaxing his hands at his sides again. "We can all be monsters, Izaya. I'm sure you of all people know that."

Without waiting for a reply, Shizuo stood up and stretched, heading towards his room to reclaim his bed for the night, leaving Izaya the most startled he had ever seen him.

* * *

><p>With that said, Shizuo could only hope that things would slowly revert back to normal, though Shizuo was relieved upon waking up to find Izaya fast asleep on the couch. As long as they had been in this new routine, Shizuo had never been up before Izaya, and it was a nice change for that morning.<p>

Shizuo went along with his normal routine, though realized that by the time Namie was supposed to come, Izaya still wasn't up.

"Hey, Izaya."

When the informant didn't stir, Shizuo shook his shoulder, Izaya's eyes flashing open at contact, leaving him to reach for his shoulder, swatting Shizuo's hand away. "Damn," Izaya rasped. "You could be a little more considerate."

"Shit, that's your bad shoulder..."

"It doesn't matter," Izaya murmured, standing up and stretching, lowering his right arm after a while, though didn't reach for his shoulder again.

"Well, shouldn't it have healed by now?"

"Since when do you care?"

Shizuo shrugged. "Trying to be hospitable here."

Izaya didn't respond, making his way over to his desk, waving the blonde off. "Don't you have work to get to?"

"Right," Shizuo murmured. _At least we're making some progress._

When Shizuo returned that night, he arrived a bit late after stopping by to get some groceries, heading to put them away when he almost bumped into Izaya, who flinched at what almost happened, almost dropping his coffee in surprise.

"That's one way to make an entrance," Izaya murmured, taking a sip and turning away.

Shizuo rolled his eyes, setting the bags down on the counter. "Would you rather I bang the door down and scream your name at the top of my lungs?"

"Your loss, not mine," Izaya replied, beginning to sift through the bags.

"Since when are you interested in anything other than fatty tuna?"

Izaya shrugged. "Just curious."

"Right," Shizuo muttered, starting to put everything away, turning back to face him every few moments. "So, are you going to help out or what? May as well earn your stay here."

"Ooh, threatening," Izaya smirked. "Who pays your bills again?"

"Shut up."

"And who's the boss here?"

Shizuo sighed. "Izaya..."

The informant ignored him, taking a look inside the fridge and pulling out a pudding cup. "Chocolate pudding, ne?"

"Hey-"

"Honestly, how much do you need?" Izaya raised an eyebrow, grabbing a spoon and taking a bite. "I swear, you have the worst sweet tooth of anyone I know."

"What, is it illegal for me to have a weakness?"

"It's diabetes in a small cup."

Shizuo huffed in amusement. "You'd care if I got diabetes?"

"You can't get diabetes."

"You don't know that."

"Neither do you."

Shizuo let out a sigh, raising a hand up. "Fine, you got me," he added, with a glare, "You could stop eating my pudding."

"I live here now," Izaya said between spoonfuls. "You never cared if I ate your food before."

"You actually ate a little?"

Izaya set the finished cup down, shrugging. "A few midnight snacks here and there. Why, is someone being a hypocrite again?"

Shizuo didn't reply, grabbing a cup for himself, Izaya turning away and sauntering over to his desk.

"Hey," Shizuo started, the thought coming to him just then. "Where's Namie?"

"Out running errands. She should be back soon," Izaya replied, gaze unfaltering from his laptop screen. "Why? Planning on telling her?"

"In your dreams," Shizuo muttered, turning away. "That's the last thing she needs to know about. Plus, she'll never let us live it down."

"What will I never let you live down?"

Shizuo flinched. _Shit. I didn't even hear her come in. _

"Welcome back, Namie-chan," Izaya replied calmly. "Don't worry, this doesn't concern you."

Namie raised an eyebrow. "If it won't affect me, then why are you keeping it a secret?"

Shizuo and Izaya exchanged glances, Izaya facing her once more and merely shrugging.

"Fine then," Namie replied, taking a look at her watch and gazing between the two. "It's about time for me to go, anyway."

"See you tomorrow, then," Izaya waved her off, Namie unflinching, though Shizuo knew she wasn't buying it.

"I see someone's in a hurry to get rid of me," she murmured underneath her breath as she stepped out, Shizuo letting out a sigh of relief.

"I swear, I can't even look at her because of you."

Izaya scoffed at him. "Me? Let's not forget you were the one who kissed me first."

Shizuo was about to reply when he heard chuckling from outside, realizing the door was cracked a bit.

"_That's _what this is about?"

_Oh, wonderful._

* * *

><p><strong>author's note~<strong>

A day late, but hey, at least it's not a week later. Again. cx"

Sorry if this chapter's a little lacking. I was in a hurry to get it finished, and it took me the longest time to even get it started because I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. I got an idea, however, but I'm going to extend it into the next few chapters. This just branches off the last chapter and starts to set it up, though it really isn't that big of a plot point as it is development for these two. It probably doesn't seem like they're making progress, but they'll get there! xD" I was really looking for a good plot point to fit in here since there's still a bit of gap from where I want to go next, but I'd expect these next few chapters to be mainly development-oriented, unless I get an idea I can work with, per usual.

Hopefully I'll be back on par with the next chapter. I just don't want it to rush it too much - honestly, the original outline disgusts me with its horrible pacing, now that I look back at it.

Anyway, I slacked, I know that. I'm trying to make up for it, though. Chapters 1 and 2 are currently being rewritten so they're more accurate and overall better - while rewriting I even _just _realized a continuity issue, plus I've had to fix chapter 2 for the longest time but haven't gotten to it. I've also been slacking because I got two one-shot ideas that I'm dying to do - because I never have one-shot ideas, plus I just fell in love with them - but I realized I still have my other fic to update after this, which I haven't even started the next chapter for. Heh. ^^" It's been the longest week with school so far, though, even though it's only Wednesday, and I guess I'm just lacking creative flow.

_Anyway, _I'll see you guys in the next update, whenever that may be~


	17. Checkmate

**chapter seventeen - checkmate**

After a night of being tormented by Namie, Shizuo awoke a bit moody, rubbing at his head in wake of a sudden headache. He could only be thankful then that Izaya wasn't as loud of a house guest as he was annoying. He was also a bit thankful that the informant neglected to notice him as he walked out - or, at least, he was silent.

Knowing that even though he was going to regret it, Shizuo grabbed his usual glass of milk and turned back to face Izaya, calling out, "Morning, flea."

"Oh, so we've reverted back to using derogatory terms, ne, protozoan?" Izaya said dryly, eyes not leaving his screen.

Shizuo shrugged. "Habit."

"Excuses, excuses," Izaya crooned, shaking his head in mock disappointment.

"Well, you've certainly gotten used to calling me anything but my name."

"Your name is Shizu-chan."

Shizuo rolled his eyes, muttering as he made his way back down the hall, "You keep telling yourself that."

"Don't get so offended," Izaya called after him, though Shizuo didn't respond, leaving them both to themselves until Namie arrived.

"Good morning, Casanova," Namie greeted him with a smirk, heading off to the kitchen knowing that when she returned, she'd most likely be met with his knife to her neck. However, Izaya didn't even so much as acknowledge her presence, leaving her to fold her arms and wait for their coffee.

After a few minutes, he spoke, however, startling her for a second. "Try and amuse me all you want, Namie-chan. It'll only dock your pay more and more..."

Namie didn't respond, simply letting out a small noise of disbelief and standing in silence, only for Shizuo to reappear moments later. Namie gave him a small nod in greeting, the blonde giving her a small wave in reply before going to head out the door without a word from Izaya, only for the informant to stop him.

"I have something I'd like to discuss with you later."

Shizuo paused, turning back to face him. "Why not now? I have a bit of time."

"I don't think Tom would like for you to be late. Again."

"It was one time," Shizuo muttered, turning away.

"Two."

Shizuo rolled his eyes, murmuring, "Shut up," as he exited.

He knew Izaya had told him on purpose, leaving him to wonder all throughout the day, agitation taking over him from not knowing. His day went by rather quickly, however, leaving him to return home to see Izaya in almost the exact same spot. The informant looked half-asleep, begrudgingly typing away, though perking up when he saw Shizuo.

"Busy day?"

Izaya frowned. "It's hardly a problem. I don't understand why you bother asking."

_Oh, I'm sure. _Shizuo rolled his eyes, keeping his mouth shut.

"Now, I assume you're dying to know what I was going to tell you earlier," Izaya started, Shizuo nodding in response and, as expected, earning a small smirk. "The Awakusu-kai have enlisted my help, so I'll be handling some underground work on top of what I already have."

Shizuo raised an eyebrow in amusement. "What, are you saying you can't handle all that?"

Izaya shot him a glare, the blonde backing up and looking away for a moment. "Of course I can handle it. What do you take me for?"

Shizuo decided to keep his mouth shut, merely shrugging.

"I'm not asking you to help me. Remember that," Izaya continued, eyes drifting back to his screen, resting his chin on his hand as he started typing away again.

"Sure seems like you are," Shizuo muttered, crossing his arms.

Izaya turned away from the screen again, narrowing his eyes. "If I remember correctly, someone was quite willing to help."

"And someone was a bit too stubborn to accept it."

"By the looks of it, someone's getting bored with secretary work. Oh, wait, you were bored on the first day."

Shizuo let out a sigh. "If you're going to keep guilt-tripping me..."

"You'll do it?" Izaya cut him off with a smirk.

"Fine."

Izaya's expression lightened as he gave his attention back to his laptop, scrolling through his email, handing it over to Shizuo. "Now, I have two jobs to handle here, though I'm sure you'll be absolutely fine with the second one."

Shizuo took the laptop, skimming through the email and sporting a confused gaze as he continued. "Human trafficking? I thought that was all done and taken care of."

Izaya suppressed a small chuckle. "Since when is anything done and taken care of here?"

"Yeah, I guess you're right," Shizuo replied. "Though, things have been really silent lately."

"I suppose you can't help but miss the insanity of Ikebukuro," Izaya murmured, a certain longing in his voice that left Shizuo with further curiosity.

"It doesn't seem like you're missing much."

Izaya shrugged indifferently. "Clients are one thing. They're not the highlights of the city, compared to people like us."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"It wasn't," Izaya replied, gesturing back towards the laptop afterwards. "There's more."

Shizuo nodded, reading over the rest of the email, setting it down after he finished, raising an eyebrow. "Akane? What does she have to do with this?"

"It seems as if the Awakusu-kai is becoming a target for another organization, and they're looking to take Akane as blackmail," Izaya replied nonchalantly. "A very predictable move, though exciting nonetheless."

_Another organization, huh. _Shizuo thought, though brushed it aside, knowing Izaya would not be happy if he brought it up. "What, they can't look after her themselves?"

Izaya smirked. "What's this? I thought you'd be happy to play bodyguard for our dear Akane-chan."

"I am," Shizuo started, not really sure where he was going. "Forget it. Let's just focus on the human trafficking for now."

"What's this about human trafficking?"

Shizuo blinked, turning around to see Namie standing in the doorway, arms crossed. _She has perfect timing, doesn't she? _

"Don't worry, Namie-chan, this doesn't concern you," Izaya called, earning a glare from his secretary.

Namie didn't respond, simply making her way over and standing beside Shizuo, keeping her unhappy expression.

"Someone's stubborn today," Izaya purred, though Namie didn't face him.

"I'm your secretary also. I'd say it's only fair that I'm involved," Namie replied, adding a bit humorously, "Should Shizuo become too incompetent."

Shizuo opened his mouth to protest, though Namie shook her head, giving him a faint smile.

"I suppose you make a valid point," Izaya yawned. "Fine. You'll be allowed to cooperate, as long as you don't switch to the other side."

_Why would she switch to the other side? _Shizuo thought, raising an eyebrow.

"I suppose I can live with that."

Izaya managed a weak smirk, folding his arms. "It's settled then. Now, as for where we'll actually start..." he paused, letting out another yawn and closing his eyes, making out a quiet, "I was thinking that Shizu-chan could..." before his head fell into his arms. Shizuo chuckled at the sight, turning towards Namie, who had a bit of amusement hidden in her eyes.

"I guess that's my cue," she murmured, giving one last look towards Shizuo and Izaya before making her way towards the door.

"Hey, Namie?" Shizuo called, the brunette freezing and turning to face him without a word. "When he told you to not switch to the other side..."

Namie gave a solemn nod, making her way back over to him, gesturing for him to sit down, taking her place beside him. "Right, I never did tell you that. I'm surprised you didn't know."

"It was obvious?"

"Were you at the first Dollars meeting?"

Shizuo nodded, the memory vaguely coming back to him. "What does this have to do with you?"

"What did the message you got say?"

Shizuo thought for a moment, the message coming back to him clearly after a moment. "It said, 'Anyone who is not looking at their phone right now is an enemy. Do not attack.'"

Namie simply nodded, attempting to form a reply when Shizuo spoke again. "You were with the human traffickers, weren't you?"

The former scientist let out a sigh. "You got me. The Dollars completely foiled that, however, and that's how I ended up here. Izaya didn't want me causing any more trouble, and I'd say I've done good. Besides that, I'm starting to feel that I've lost interest," she paused, looking down at her hands. "Back then, I just wanted to help Seiji, not to mention, I had a business to run. Now it's all been taken out of my hands, and I feel like I need to do something with my life other than be under Izaya's control."

Shizuo nodded. "Right, you knew about that plan of his long before now, didn't you?"

"Yes, I have," Namie replied, no longer reluctant to talk now that she had gotten it out. "Something about awakening a war in this city and earning his rightful place as a god."

"Why does that not surprise me," Shizuo muttered, earning a small laugh from Namie. "I'm just wondering where we fall into this. It sounded like it all depended on Celty's head."

"It did up until now. We can only wonder what he's up to now. Sometimes," she paused, letting out another laugh at the thought. "I wonder about how it would feel to overthrow him."

Shizuo's eyes darkened as he gazed down at his hands. "Believe me, I've tried that. In some sense, at least."

Namie raised an eyebrow in amusement. "Oh, you have?"

"I'd rather not talk about it," Shizuo murmured, not facing her still.

"I told you something. It's only fair," Namie replied with a shrug. "Besides, secrets really aren't kept around here anyway."

Shizuo shrugged indifferently. "Fine. Needless to say, I thought I could beat Izaya at his own game, and you've seen the aftermath of that."

"You can't mean..." Namie started, holding back a laugh as she spoke.

"I do," Shizuo grumbled.

Namie coughed to clear her throat, turning towards him with an apologetic glance. "Sorry, I know, it's not all that funny. I just don't see why you guys make such a big deal over it."

Shizuo started to protest, though Namie silenced him. "Your rivalry is long gone, it's just the fact that you two are so difficult. Honestly, you're like a married couple sometimes."

"One hell of a marriage, then," Shizuo murmured, earning a light smile from Namie.

"Anyway," Namie started, standing up and turning back towards him. "I should probably go."

Shizuo nodded, watching her go. "Night."

Letting out a sigh, Shizuo fell on his side, scooting further up to rest his head on the pillow beside him, closing his eyes. Contemplating what Namie said was easy, as she did have a valid point. In a sense, they weren't enemies anymore, but not exactly friends, and he couldn't tell whose fault that was. He would've liked to say Izaya, but knowing that everything that had happened in the past three months had been started by him made him reconsider. _It's not like I could control it. I was drunk, and I _still _don't even remember what happened. _Which made him realize something else.

_People are supposed to get memories back during or after the hangover, right? If I can't even remember getting drunk in the first place, then is it possible that he lied? _Shizuo's eyes flashed back open at the thought, momentarily paralyzing him. _It's hard telling if he would go that far or not, especially considering he's so pissed off about it. Unless that's just an act too._

Shizuo clenched his fists, relaxing them at his sides as he gazed up at the ceiling. _All I know is that the world's definitely off-balance, no matter which one of our faults it was. Besides, we'll figure it out eventually._

_I hope._

* * *

><p>The following morning, Shizuo awoke to see Izaya wide awake, swirling around in his swivel chair with some fatty tuna, per usual. Though, after a moment, he realize Namie wasn't present.<p>

"Where's Namie?"

"Good morning to you, too," Izaya smirked, Shizuo rolling his eyes at him. "She's not coming in today, and she didn't bother to tell me why. We can only wonder..."

_Probably wants us to settle things and stay out of it. _Shizuo thought, standing up and stretching. "We can only wonder."

"Anyway," Izaya continued, halting his chair as Shizuo approached him. "Since you're up now, I was wondering if you could go pick up Akane-chan."

"We're keeping her here?" Shizuo blinked. "Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"I already assured Shiki-san and the others that she would be fine under our care," Izaya replied, indifferent smile curving into a smirk. "Besides, it's not as if we have to worry about Slon and Vorona taking her now, do we?"

Shizuo narrowed his eyes. "We have to worry about this other organization, though."

Izaya shrugged. "Oh, I suppose. Now, I suggest you go get her. Akabayashi isn't going to wait all day."

Shizuo nodded, heading out towards the Awakusu's cover-up, sure enough spotting Akabayashi and Akane waiting in front. Akabayashi had a frown present, though Akane's face lightened up when she saw Shizuo, running over to greet him. "Hi, Shizuo-san!"

"Hey Akane," Shizuo smiled in return, welcoming a hug from her.

"Where's Iza-nii?" The child asked, gazing around him in slight confusion.

"He's working. You'll see him soon, though," Shizuo replied. Had it been any past time, Shizuo would've grimaced at the mention of Izaya and how Akane had opened to him, of all people, and it still made him a bit uncomfortable, though he attempted to brush it aside.

Akane simply nodded, almost backing up into Akabayashi as she pulled away, looking up at him with wide eyes. She was ready to apologize, though the yakuza ignored her for the moment, focused on Shizuo.

"I assume Shiki made our terms quite clear."

Shizuo nodded. "He did."

"I know you're on good terms with her, but you should know what happens if you even lay a finger on her."

"I won't."

Akabayashi simply nodded, gazing down at Akane and kneeling down to her height. "I'll see you soon, little miss. Behave yourself."

"I will," Akane replied quietly, almost a bit reluctantly. "Goodbye, oi-chan."

Akabayashi nodded in farewell, giving one last glance towards Shizuo before heading back inside the building, Shizuo taking Akane's hand as they made their way back to the apartment.

"Something wrong, Akane?" Shizuo asked a while after they began their walk, breaking their small silence.

"I'm not sure what's going on," The girl started, keeping her gaze ahead of her. "But I won't be a burden to you, Shizuo-san."

Shizuo blinked in surprise. "Why would you even consider being a burden?"

"I feel like I am to them," Akane said softly, seemingly a bit flustered by it. "I don't think it has something to do with this, but I can't help but feel a bit betrayed."

"They still care about you. They wouldn't have sent you to Izaya and I if they didn't."

Akane's eyes widened again. "Really?"

Shizuo nodded. "Everything will be fine."

_I hope._

After a while, they reached the apartment, Shizuo stepping inside first, Akane following him and smiling when she saw Izaya. "Hi, Iza-nii."

Izaya stood up then, making his way over to the two. "Hello, Akane-chan. Welcome back."

Shizuo blocked the two out as they carried on for a moment, gazing over to see a new addition to Izaya's corner of the room - his game board, restored in all its glory. "You recreated your game?"

Izaya smirked, diverting his attention from Akane for a moment. "I'm surprised you noticed."

"Hard to forget the damn thing. I don't know how you understand it."

Izaya shrugged. "You're a protozoan, that's why."

Shizuo was about to reply, though Akane caught the two's attention, staring at them with questioning eyes. "Why are you both here? I thought you didn't like each other."

The two exchanged glances, Shizuo letting out a nervous laugh. "We're on better terms now, don't worry. That's why I said Akabayshi could trust us with you."

"Yup, better terms," Izaya echoed, sending a smirk Shizuo's way, the blonde rolling his eyes at him.

"Here, if you want, you can go settle in my room," Shizuo added, taking Akane's hand and leading her down the hall. "I'll just sleep on the couch, don't worry."

"Thank you, Shizuo-san," Akane said, giving him one last hug before he made his way back down the hall.

Shizuo was about to let out a sigh of relief, feeling as if he didn't have to worry about anything, though Izaya let out a snort as he reappeared. "Better terms, ne? It wouldn't quite seem that way."

"I did it for her sake, alright? You know that she's going through quite a bit right now," Shizuo replied defensively, narrowing his eyes.

"We all find out things we don't want to at some point in our lives. She'll get over it."

_Hypocrite. _Shizuo let out a sigh. "Izaya, she's going to be a target for the rest of her life because of her family, most likely. I want her to have a good life."

"Ah, that's why you attached to her so quickly," Izaya mused. "She's reminiscent of yourself, isn't she?"

"That's not the point. But that aside, we have a job we agreed to do, and it looks we're going to have to get along to do it."

Izaya folded his arms. "Not necessarily."

"Yes, necessarily," Shizuo retorted, turning away, wanting to drop the argument. "Anyway, don't you have work to do?"

Izaya smirked, nodding in reply. "We both do, actually. I made plans for you to sabotage the next mass kidnapping. I hope you don't mind."

Shizuo faced him once more, frowning as Izaya handed him a small slip of paper. "There's your instructions. Before you ask, yes, I have verified that they are accurate, unlike your sources. Don't screw up."

"Thanks for the support," Shizuo grumbled, slipping the note in his pocket and turning to head out the door.

As soon as the door closed, Izaya began to circle around his game board, running his fingers over top of each of the pawns, knocking them over one by one. "Alright, Shizu-chan. If you're going to make this difficult, fine. I'll play your game."

The informant paused, gaze drifting outside the window where Shizuo was heading out, unaware of the two girls following after him, Izaya smirking at the thought.

"But," he let out a sigh, facing his board once more and arranging his pieces so the last remaining chess pawn was surrounded. Izaya allowed his smirk to resurface then, knocking the final pawn over and letting out a small, triumphant laugh.

"I will be the victor this time."

* * *

><p><strong>author's note~<strong>

Let's just pretend this chapter's not late, shall we? cx"

Aside from being the latest chapter yet, I'm actually quite proud of this, and I actually can't wait for the next chapter since I have a bit of an idea where I'm going with it. That's been my main problem lately, figuring out how to handle a chapter, but, unlike with the past few chapters, I've already started the next one, so it shouldn't take as long. If I can, I'd love to get it out sometime this week.

Also, on another note, yay for Akane and Akabayashi~! I've been dying to put both of them in here somehow, as they're two of my favorite characters from the novels, and I especially can't wait to see Shizuo and Akane's interactions in season 2. owo As much as I wanted to put them in here, I probably screwed it up considering it's been a while now since I've read the light novels - not to mention I never finished the seventh one - but at this point, the canon is probably so messed up anyway that it may as well be considered an AU fic. xD"

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed - hard telling not hearing from you guys as often! - and I'll see you soon, hopefully~


	18. War of Change

**chapter eighteen - war of change**

Shizuo was used to being followed around town, though never for support - especially from someone of the likes of Namie, not that he would say she was a bad person - Akane as well.

"Akane? Namie?" Shizuo's eyes widened in sudden alarm as he faced the two. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to come with you," Akane said determinedly, though her eyes drifted away in slight fear.

"I'm not saying I don't trust you with her, but I followed after, just in case," Namie added. "Besides, while I have no doubt that you're very capable, I figured you might need backup."

Shizuo ignored the fact that she knew all of this, simply rolling his eyes. "I think you mean _Izaya _figured I needed backup."

Namie raised an eyebrow defensively. "Izaya has nothing to do with this. Now, are you going to listen to what I have to say or not?"

Shizuo nodded, remaining silent for her to continue.

"Just think, Shizuo. If this other organization found out that they were putting up with you, you better well believe they're preparing to deal with you," Namie began firmly, crossing his arms. "Haven't you noticed that more people are taking their fear of you and trying to fight back instead? I think that after the rumor went out that you killed three yakuza with your bare hands, all organizations took serious precautions."

"It's been months since then, though," Shizuo protested, a bit flustered when he noticed that Akane's eyes widened at the rumor. "And it wasn't even true."

"They know you're capable," Namie continued. "Plus, considering the fact that it's well known that you're supposedly partnered up with Izaya, that's given them a bit more of a reason to fear you. Individually you both hold powerful titles, but together, you are something to fear."

Shizuo raised an eyebrow. "Are they not paying attention to the lack of property damage?"

Namie shrugged. "They probably just think you're planning something big, now that you're supposedly allies."

"Allies, huh," Shizuo murmured.

"Yes, allies," Namie replied, startling Shizuo for a moment, knowing the only possible thing she would bring up. "I thought you two would sort things out today, but it doesn't really seem like anything happened."

Shizuo shrugged. "Well, we didn't really have a lot of time."

"You started, though," It wasn't so much a question as it was a statement, causing Shizuo to raise an eyebrow at her.

"How do you know?"

Namie simply shrugged, beginning to walk ahead with Akane at her side. "Hey, I did say I wondered what it was like to beat Izaya."

A smirk spread across Shizuo's face as he walked on after them, pulling the slip of paper out to remember where they were headed.

_Alright. We can do this. Just don't screw up again, and we'll be good. _Shizuo told himself, a bit of determination flooding back to him. _Time to show him I'm not useless._

And so the trio continued on through the city, Shizuo slightly stumped as to why a mass kidnapping would occur in the early evening, though he supposed he could trust Izaya's judgement. _That's what being a secretary is, right? Hell, what am I even saying? I'm hardly a secretary. But, Izaya seems to put enough trust in me for now. May as well return the favor. _A small laugh managed to escape from him then, Namie turning to gaze at him, though he looked away. _I can only imagine what it'd be like right now had we never hated each other.__  
><em>

"Shizuo-san?" Akane asked suddenly, snapping him out of his thoughts. "Isn't this the place?"

Shizuo gazed over to see a tattered, worn-out old building, standing out among the flashiness that was the heart of Ikebukuro. There were no signs that anyone had taken a step there in years - an ideal spot for a planned capture, almost.

"I imagine this new group is trying to follow by Izaya's logic," Namie said as the three approached the building. "This is probably some suicide group again. After all, they seem to be the bulk of human trafficking these days."

Shizuo blinked. "You don't think he set us up?"

Namie shook her head. "I wouldn't think so. I can imagine he'd stage something, but not anything this big. Especially after what I heard about America."

Shizuo gave a solemn nod. "Maybe."

"Someone's coming!" Akane hissed in a whisper.

"Well," Namie said with a light sigh. "Looks like I wasn't too far off."

Up ahead were five girls walking in a cluster, gazing at one another almost lifelessly, a group of men trailing behind them, though were moving into the cluster to make it a bit less suspicious. Rolling his eyes and then realizing they were getting closer, Shizuo pulled Akane back and the two, along with Namie, slumped underneath the back window.

"How exactly do you plan to stop this?" Namie asked, eyebrow raised.

Shizuo shrugged.

"You didn't even think of a plan?"

"Wait," Akane spoke up, both Shizuo and Namie turning towards her. "If they're not bringing anything with them, wouldn't that mean their stuff is already inside?"

Shizuo smiled, ruffling her hair and peering out over the window. "Thanks, Akane."

The girl gave a feeble smile in return, gazing inside with him, and sure enough, right in front of them lay a group of duffle bags, easily assumed to be their means of attack.

"So, what's your plan then?" Namie prompted once more as Shizuo slid down beside her once more.

The blonde shrugged. "Well, we have a few options. First one obviously includes property damage. Second, use their own medicine against them."

"Third?"

"I figured my first two were crazy enough."

Namie shrugged aloofly, though a bit of interest shone in her eyes when Shizuo managed property damage, and Shizuo knew she was wondering if he would do it. "They are, but I don't really think you have a choice."

"Well, knowing that this has to be a test, I say we chloroform them," Shizuo said with a shrug. After all, he still had damages to clear up.

"A test, huh?"

Shizuo let out a nervous laugh. "I tend to think that bastard's always testing me these days."

Namie snorted. "I wouldn't be surprised."

"Are you talking about Iza-nii?" Akane asked abruptly, both Shizuo and Namie turning towards her once again. "Why would he be testing you?"

Shizuo attempted to keep his lips from curving into a frown, though failed as he spoke. "It's a bit of a story."

Akane nodded, looking out over the window again. "They're almost here!"

"Well," Namie started, standing up with Shizuo. "If Izaya's testing you, I wouldn't be surprised if he's testing me, too."

Shizuo nodded in agreement, turning back towards Akane. "Stay here, alright?"

"I know," Akane let out a dramatic sigh, giving him a small grin.

"Don't get smart with me, kid," Shizuo said over his shoulder as he and Namie stepped inside, diving into the duffle bags and stepping out into a hallway. Shizuo peered out past the door, flinching as the doorknob turned, almost bumping into Namie as he hid along the side. From beside him, Namie gave him a nod of approval as footsteps sounded, waiting until they got close enough.

_Please don't let me get an innocent girl. _Shizuo begged silently, hearing the footsteps stop, leaving him to peer out and grab one of the captors, holding the chloroform to his mouth. The man took no time to sink to his knees, body going limp as he slipped into unconsciousness. A gasp sounded from nearby, followed by light laughter, and it took Shizuo a moment to think something of it.

_Shit, do they know? _He instantly turned towards Namie, who, per usual, seemed unfazed. Shizuo realized a moment later how fast his heart was beating, gazing around in slight concern. _Why am I so paranoid? It's not like they can kill me or anything. Maybe it's just..._

Seconds later, he heard it.

A faint ticking was all it took for his instinct to kick in, leaving Shizuo to take Namie's hand, his fellow secretary widening her eyes in slight shock as the two bolted outside. Shizuo released Namie's hand and instantly went for Akane, only for his vision to begin to blur by the tear gas suddenly spreading in the air. _Dammit, dammit, dammit!_

"Shizuo-san," Akane whispered, Shizuo's response clenching her hand tigther and hoisting her onto his back.

"Namie!" he called, though there was no sight of the brunette. Clenching his teeth, Shizuo stumbled through the gas, keeping an eye out for any movement while also keeping his eyes on getting as far away as possible.

The ticking progressively became louder, and Shizuo was sent into mild panic, no sight of Namie around him. He knew there was a good chance she probably already made it to safety, though he didn't want to take any chances.

Dashing around the perimeter of the tear gas, he kept an eye out for Namie, though halted when he felt Akane's weight started to be lifted from him, the girl letting out a small growl of anger as someone tried to grab her. Shizuo instantly rounded on them, taking hold of Akane and shoving her behind him, gazing over to see a nearby motorcycle, picking it up and throwing it against the other man, watching him get crushed as he fell to the ground.

Shizuo closed his eyes, rubbing at them in annoyance and keeping them shut. "Akane, are you alright?"

"I'm fi-"

The girl was cut off as Shizuo heard the beeping become rapid, followed by a distant scream, and then silence.

* * *

><p>Laughter sounded through the almost empty apartment, save for Izaya, who simply twirled around in his chair, watching one of the many cameras he had tapped around the city - the one where Shizuo, Akane, and Namie were in focus, as expected.<p>

"Oh, Shizu-chan, you could do so much better than this," Izaya let out a sigh, halting his chair and burying his face in his arms. "So stereotypical of you to go and save the others first. And after you said no property damage..."

"_Izaya?_"

The informant blinked in slight alarm, gazing over to see his phone, screen glistening with Shinra's name on it, the call ongoing.

"Shinra, sorry. I don't remember calling you."

"_You're insane._"

"Look who's talking," Izaya retorted, gaze flickering towards his screen for a moment.

Shinra seemed reluctant to answer, though formed a reply shortly afterwards. "_I see you two are regressing in progress._"

Izaya shrugged. "Who cares? Not like I need his friendship anyway. You know this is a test."

"_I don't know if it's sleep deprivation or your sadism talking, but I know you're not entirely thinking like that. I know you still have your plan in mind, but are you sure you still want to go through with it?"_

"What, just upset it involved Celty?"

_"No!" _Shinra shouted, Izaya flinching and setting his phone back down. "_I just...you both made it sound like you wanted to make progress. If you aren't, then what was that kiss even for?_"

"I don't want to talk about this, Shinra," Izaya snapped. "I've gone for too long with Shizuo attempting to outsmart me. I need to control him, or something, some_one_."

"_What you need to do is calm down. These past few months are really getting to you, and I don't like the look of it."__  
><em>

"Then why don't you stay out of it and mind your own business?"

"_Says you. And this _is _my business. As your friend, I have the right to know this._"

"As my friend, you'd respect my privacy," Izaya said bitterly, leaving Shinra silent.

"_I'm giving you a day to sort this out. Shizuo's made progress. I can only hope you will too._"

With that, Shinra hung up, leaving Izaya to stare out into space, eyes drifting aimlessly around the room. His mind went blank for a moment, leaving him to realize he was alone with the silence of the apartment, no sign of Shizuo returning for some time. He was used to being alone - that's all the past few years working as an informant, and before his sisters had been born were.

At the thought of his sisters, he felt a bit of an ache in his heart, though dismissed it. _After all, they're not truly gone. Right?_

The true questions he had for himself now, however, were why he had let himself become so accustomed to Shizuo. Sure, there was the plan, but maybe Shinra was right about something. Maybe this experience was meant for him to change, alongside the man he claimed to hate the most. Maybe it all meant nothing - just another nameless tale of the city with no outcome, lost to the waves of drama as the city bustled per usual.

_Dammit, Shizuo, you've made me lose again. _Izaya let out a sigh, burying his head in his arms once more.

When he lifted his head back up, the informant realized that it was now getting into the later hours of the night, and two heads poked out over the couch nearby. Rubbing his eyes, he slid out of his chair, stepping forward to approach the two after Shizuo said, "Seems like everyone's showing me up these days."

"Isn't that what you wanted?"

Shizuo tensed up, gazing over his shoulder to see Izaya, nodding his head once. "Well, yeah, I..." he trailed off, turning away, irritated.

Izaya smirked, placing a hand on his shoulder, though Shizuo instantly swatted it away.

"I see someone forgot about our deal."

Shizuo looked at him in question, though his eyes drifted over towards where Namie sat, Akane unconscious in her lap.

"She will be okay, right?"

Izaya nodded. "If we need to, I'll have Shinra take a look at her. Though," he added bitterly, "I doubt it will come to that."

"I guess I should take my leave," Namie said afterwards, turning towards Shizuo and giving him a nod.

Shizuo gave a wary smile in return, taking Akane from her and lying her down gently, Izaya taking his place beside him.

"So, I see your plan failed."

"You knew."

Izaya shrugged. "Maybe."

Shizuo groaned, placing a hand over his forehead and not responding.

"Lighten up," Izaya laughed. "I'm sure you already know the purpose of that."

"_Your _plan, right?"

"I suppose you can use that protozoic brain of yours when you want to," Izaya feigned a sigh, pulling his phone out of his pocket.

Shizuo frowned. "I thought we already established that."

"I thought we already established a mutual friendship."

Shizuo's eyes widened. "Like you'd want to be friends."

"You want to," Izaya deadpanned, gaze drifting towards Akane. "What happened to getting along?"

"I could ask you the same question."

Izaya ignored the startling feeling he got from what Shizuo said, giving himself a mental slap and keeping his cool, though his expression lightened without his control. "Someone's feisty today."

Shizuo sighed, though it partially came out as a laugh. "Izaya, stop."

"Why should I?" Izaya smirked, Shizuo rolling his eyes at him. "I seem to amuse you."

"Since when do you care about that?"

"Since when does it matter?"

"Since..." Izaya went silent, narrowing his eyes. "Never mind."

"Since...?" Shizuo smirked, dragging it out to annoy the informant.

Izaya sighed. "Shizuo..."

"Gotcha," Shizuo said proudly, leaning back against the couch and closing his eyes.

"What the hell?" Izaya said lightly, managing a nervous laugh.

Silence fell between the two then, awkward gazing ensuing as they sat. Shizuo checked on Akane every couple of moments, though the girl did not stir for a while. She eventually gazed up at the two, however, blinking her chocolate eyes in confusion.

"Shizuo-san? Iza-nii?"

Shizuo noticed Izaya tense up, though he was the first to speak.

"Ah, Akane-chan. Are you feeling alright?"

Akane nodded, lifting her head up. "Why wouldn't I?"

Shizuo shrugged it off. "Never mind us. Do you want anything?"

"I'm a little hungry," Akane said softly.

Shizuo nodded, getting up and leaving Akane and Izaya to themselves, both watching him disappear around the corner.

Beside her, Akane noticed Izaya clenching his fists slightly, looking at him with concern in her eyes. "Are you alright, Iza-nii?"

Izaya immediately loosened his grip, relaxing his hands at his sides and giving a false smile to the girl. "Everything's fine."

"Until Dougen finds out," Shizuo called from the kitchen.

Izaya twitched an eye in slight irritation, though let out a light cough and reverted to normal. "Who says he has to know?"

Akane simply nodded to herself, kicking her legs back and forth in boredom. Izaya, not wanting there to be another silence, spoke up.

"Is something bothering you, Akane-chan?"

Akane shook her head. "Nuh-uh. My head hurts a little bit, but it's not too much trouble."

"Shizu-chan, you wouldn't happen to have some ibuprofen, would you?"

"Why the hell would I have ibuprofen?"

Izaya chuckled to himself. "Right, I forgot you're a vulgar monster."

"Excuse me?"

Izaya simply burst into laughter, Akane managing a small smile beside him. Before Izaya could even retort, however, the girl spoke up.

"You're laughing, Iza-nii."

Izaya paused. "Ne?"

"I've never seen you laugh before," Akane continued, causing Shizuo to poke his head out around the corner. "And when I woke up, I heard you both laughing. Things really are different."

Shizuo and Izaya exchanged glances, Shizuo managing a smile as well, though the informant turned away.

"I suppose they are," Izaya murmured, Shizuo's smile unfaltering until he turned back around the corner.

"I'm happy they're better now," Akane continued. "There's too many bad things in this world and it's no good if you two keep fighting."

_Aren't we all. _Shizuo sighed to himself, focusing back on his meal only to see that it was burning. "Shit!" he exclaimed, eliciting a laugh from Izaya.

"Not so flawless now, are we, master chef?"

"Shut up," Shizuo called in return, coming back around a moment later with a bowl of ramen, handing it to Akane.

Akane managed a feeble smile as Shizuo retook his place beside her. "Thank you."

"What, no food for us?" Izaya smirked, facing Shizuo once more.

"You only eat fatty tuna anyway," Shizuo replied. "Get it yourself."

Izaya let out a gasp, covering his mouth with his hand. "Shizu-chan, how cruel!"

"You're not wounded any more," Shizuo pointed out with a rivaling smirk. "Besides, you've only said a million times that you don't need help."

"It's not help," Izaya murmured, flicking his switchblade out. Between the two, Akane tensed up at the sight, Shizuo placing a hand on her shoulder in reassurance, turning back to Izaya.

"Let's not start."

Izaya nodded, folding his switchblade once more and sliding it back into his pocket. "Right. Sorry, Akane-chan."

"It's okay," The girl said softly, exhaling lightly and closing her eyes after finishing her ramen.

Izaya stood up afterwards, making his way towards the kitchen when Shizuo stopped him. "Getting your fatty tuna?"

"Actually," Izaya turned to face him with a smug face. "I was thinking of getting something else."

Shizuo rolled his eyes, amused by the statement all the while as he gazed over at Akane, who was starting to fall asleep beside him. "Tired already?"

"A little," Akane murmured, smiling in return.

"Feeling any better?"

Akane opened her eyes, turning towards him in question. "What do you mean?"

"About your family."

"Oh," Akane's face fell. "This is nice, having a break. I want to be there for them, since they've looked out for me, but at the same time..."

Shizuo gave a solemn nod. "You'll sort it all out soon."

"I hope so," Akane murmured, wanting to add something else but turned to see Izaya returning with some leftover ramen.

"Family issues, ne?" Izaya asked, surprisingly sincere in that moment as he faced the girl.

Akane simply nodded, waiting for him to continue.

"There are times where your family won't live up to your expectations, but other times they will," Izaya started. "It's all in a person's character. I'm not saying you should love your father, or Shiki-san, or anyone for that matter, unconditionally, but the world isn't just black and white. I'm sure you've come to understand that."

"I have."

"Everyone has their redeeming qualities. You just have to be willing enough to find them."

Shizuo's eyes gleamed at that statement, leaving him to gaze over at Izaya, though the other man turned away as soon as their eyes met. _I win. _Shizuo smiled at the thought, though he knew Izaya wouldn't be very happy about that.

"Thank you, Iza-nii," Akane whispered as she closed her eyes, falling against the informant.

Shizuo's smile remained in tact as Izaya turned back towards him. "Redeeming qualities, huh?"

"Again with you assuming everything I say has a connotation for you," Izaya replied, amused, though his smirk was not present. "Are you that desperate?"

"Desperate?" Shizuo chuckled. "Why would I be desperate?"

Izaya raised an eyebrow, smirk finally returning with it. "Oh, I don't know..."

"Izaya..."

The informant wasn't stopping. "Maybe because you-"

"Shut up."

Izaya's lips curved into a pout. "How rude, interrupting me."

Shizuo sighed. "I don't need to hear it."

Between them, Akane stirred, Shizuo tensing up leaving Izaya with a taunting gaze, though he still kept a faint frown. "I take it you've forgotten the deal again."

"More like an unspoken deal."

Izaya shrugged. "A deal is still a deal."

Shizuo sighed, closing his eyes and falling back against the couch. "How about we start over, then?"

Izaya, alarmed by this, remained silent for a moment, though he managed a small smile - cursing both Shinra and Shizuo - as he extended his arm without hesitation. "Alright then. I'm Izaya Orihara."

Shizuo took it. "I'm Shizuo Heiwajima."

After a bit of thought - and with a encouraging smirk from Izaya - he added, "And you don't piss me off."

* * *

><p><strong>author's note~<strong>

Totally didn't write this using 29 pages of a journal and took a good 3 hours just typing it up.

Totally.

I have a love/hate relationship with this chapter. Like plenty of others, but still. I'm trying to give myself a bit more credit here, okay. ;3; It's just...I don't know. The beginning really bothers me, since I feel like it's a repeat of America, and it doesn't really have too much of a part here other than fueling Izaya and Shizuo's little "game" - which that is really unspoken, too, so I'll probably go a little in-depth with that in the next chapter.

Anyway, in other news, season 2 got its first trailer and it looks absolutely _amazing! _owo I could not contain my fangirl after watching it. I loved reading the light novels (what I've read so far, anyway) and I think it'll be that much better to see it animated. It's going to take a whole year for all of the episodes to air, but hey, more Durarara? Count me in. It probably doesn't seem like it, but this really is my favorite anime, and not just for Izaya and Shizuo, as much as I love them both. xD" It's truly an amazing anime and that's why I'm really eager to get into my other fics, since I have quite a few non-Shizaya ideas waiting to be written. I want to get this done for you guys first, though. cx

Speaking of getting this done, I've started putting progress updates on my profile which I will try to update daily, so if you're ever curious about how close a new chapter is, feel free to go check it out. c:

I'll see you next time~


	19. Taking The Fall

**chapter nineteen - taking the fall**

_I'm giving you a day to sort this out. Shizuo's made progress. I can only hope you will too._

Izaya and Shinra had not spoken since, not a single word in a month of silence. Temperatures chilled as October led into November, and Izaya supposed, as was the weather, his heart was the same. He supposed Shinra knew that, considering Izaya had yet to respond, and he had still chosen not to. He was haunted by it, however. Though his inbox grew with floods of new texts, they were soon deleted, though there sat Shinra's, mocking him in his entirety. Izaya didn't merely believe it was mocking him, however - oh no, he knew. Shinra was trying to break him apart piece by piece, but for what? Going by that logic, he supposed Shizuo could have sided with their friend and went against him, maybe got Namie in on it too. He was losing his touch, and it was all Shizuo's fault.

_All. Your. Fault. _Izaya growled, eyes turning to slits as he kept his eyes on his laptop screen, not bothering to cast the sleeping blonde a quick glance. It was becoming less of a rarity, that sight he dared not see, however. Shizuo Heiwajima, the personification of violence, in a state of peace.

Izaya loathed it.

He also found that, in recent months, he had come to loathe Shinra. The underground doctor was no help, especially with the words that taunted Izaya each night, "You're insane."

_And so what if I am? I've watched my life change in a matter of _seconds, _and it's all that protozoan's fault._

_But what if it's your own fault?_

Izaya was breathless for a moment, clenching at his shirt, right over his chest, breath catching back up with him. _Dammit, what's wrong with me? _He thought, letting out a light cough to clear his throat, noticing Shizuo stir out of the corner of his eye. The informant felt himself relax for a moment, keeping his eyes on the other man, though coughed again, facing his screen once more. Minimizing all other tabs, he switched over to his email, scrolling through to see that he could have a small sigh of relief. He had been worked like a dog this past week, sleep deprivation slowly taking over.

_I don't know if it's sleep deprivation- _

"Leave me alone, Shinra!" Izaya shouted, resting his head down on his desk for a brief moment, only to look up again and see Shizuo stir again. Groaning to himself, the informant sprung up out of his chair and approached the nearby window, unlocking it and opening it up, sticking his head out to feel the nighttime breeze, sending a chill down his spine. _Shit, it's freezing. _

That didn't stop him, however. Simply slipping on his thin coat, he quietly opened the back door, making his way up the fire escape, heading up to the roof. He didn't visit the roof often, even when he had his own apartment; it seemed he only sat out when he was troubled. Even then, Izaya was not a person to be troubled easily. It was more out of boredom, the more he looked at it. Except for today.

Carefully swinging his legs out over the edge, Izaya gazed out over the city, a seldom car or passerby along the street below, the lights of the Ikebukuro night life keeping his eyes open. Even with a lack of sleep and baggy eyes, Izaya paid attention. He could recall every detail of the sight - it was just a part of him. The informant made sure to always be observant. He had to know everything.

There was one thing, however, that sparked his memory then. Just down the road, a familiar sign flashed out a warning in his mind, though he took a moment to process it.

What followed, he would've liked to forget.

_"What's this?" Izaya mused, smirk accompanying him as he skipped along the street, a familiar blonde head of hair catching his eye. "Shizu-chan's going drinking tonight?"_

_Strangely, Izaya had yet to mess with Shizuo while he was drunk. The thought of it had occurred to him, though he wasn't _quite _curious enough to know how he was while drunk. Was he emotional? Even more violent? Average and boring? There were so many possibilities, and Izaya wanted to control that outcome. With his beloved monster, however, he supposed it was a gamble._

_This night, however, Izaya followed him inside the bar. He obscured himself in the corner, of course, waiting for the blonde to get entirely drunk before he made a move. Besides, he wasn't in the mood to watch Shizuo destroy yet another building, should he notice his presence._

_Izaya noticed, however, that Shizuo was all alone. He was not aided by Tom, Vorona - hell, even Shinra. Izaya managed a small chuckle at this. _He probably doesn't want anyone he cares about near him. Logical, I'll give him that.

_Shizuo remained reclusive for his whole time there, most likely too lost in thought to pick up Izaya's scent. He moved groggily, which struck Izaya as completely odd, as he had seemed perfectly fine during their chase earlier that day._

_On a second thought, however, Izaya noticed that Shizuo _had _seemed a bit off._

I'll never understand you, monster. _Izaya sighed, laying low for about an hour, when he made his decision to approach Shizuo. _No going back now.

_"Well, well, well," The informant crooned, wrapping an arm around Shizuo's shoulder. "If it isn't Shizu-chan. I didn't know you drank."_

_Shizuo did not recoil. "So?" he inquired, surprisingly sober-sounding. "Does it matter?"_

_Izaya hid his moment of his shock from the blonde, replying smoothly, "It depends on how you look at it."_

_Shizuo was silent, almost ignoring Izaya's statement and taking another sip of his drink._

_Pulling his arm away, Izaya cast the other man a small frown as he took the seat beside him. "You're very quiet today."_

_Shizuo was uninterested. "Mhmm."_

_"Did something happen?"_

_"Like you care."_

_"I do care, Shizu-chan," Izaya bluffed, causing the blonde to turn towards him, eyes glassy, showing the informant he was not in his right mind._

_"Really?"_

_Izaya nodded. "Of course I care. You're my favorite monster, after all."_

_"It's just surprising, knowing that you do..." Shizuo trailed off, eyes drifting away as he took another sip of his drink._

_Izaya's eyes gleamed, smirk obscured behind a feigned smile. "I imagine it would be, knowing you all this time," he let out a shaky laugh afterwards, beginning to feel his own alcohol getting to him. _Shit, don't do this...

_"Not really," Shizuo murmured, leaving Izaya to gape at him, though he quickly composed himself again, letting out a light cough. _

_"Why not?"_

_He wasn't thinking then. Izaya was _always _thinking, but just this once, he didn't think about the consequences of those two words. To him, this was all a game. Nothing would happen, because he had it under control. He was content with his game, not needing anything else._

_Shizuo, however, was the opposite._

_Izaya was out of focus for mere seconds, and in those mere seconds, Shizuo had succeeded in wrapping his arms around the informant's waist, pulling him closer and beginning to lean in, sending Izaya into a panic. "Shizu-chan, what the hell are you-"_

_With no time to shove him away, Izaya rendered himself powerless as their lips met, itching to pull away, though he didn't. He gave in, and he couldn't even tell if it was out of desperation, out of pity, or his plan to simply mess with the blonde. All he knew was how smoothly Shizuo had locked lips with him, not forced and surprisingly gentle. The blonde wasn't demanding at all, in fact, he accepted Izaya's momentary resistance, though it abruptly faded._

_Izaya's mind was a war zone. He was desperate to convince himself that this was all just a part of the plan, that he was making himself live with it. That's what he would've normally done, anyway. Another part of him, however, was regretting drinking._

_He was also found with words he had spoken to Shinra not too long before, left echoing throughout his mind as he and Shizuo broke apart._

"I made an effort to love Shizu-chan once."

Izaya let out a sigh, hanging his head and gazing down below him once more, realizing he was now shivering. Lifting his head back up, he folded his arms and held them close, gaze finding its way back to the fire escape. _Maybe I should go inside. I don't need Shizu-chan killing me over getting hypothermia. _

The informant froze. _Why do I care? I _shouldn't _care, but I do anyway. Probably just some side effects of being around him for this long._

Mind made up now, Izaya swung his legs back over onto the roof, standing up and heading back down and inside, a bit relieved to see that Shizuo was still asleep. Izaya made his way back over to his desk, turning his laptop back on and pulling up his email, only to see 'Shinra Kishitani, online', taunting him from his side bar. With a frown, Izaya clicked the link, leaving his friend with a parting message for the night.

[I hope you're happy.]

* * *

><p>"Again, flea?"<p>

Izaya opened an eye at the sound of Shizuo's voice, though his vision was all black, realizing that he was face down on his desk, once again. Lifting his head up, he saw Shizuo pulling a towel away from his damp hair, which, Izaya noticed, was showing plenty of brunette. The informant completely ignored what Shizuo had said, managing a weak smirk as he spoke. "Ne, going brunette today, are we?"

Shizuo blinked at him, running a few strands of hair through his hands to verify. "Shit."

"I think it suits you," Izaya said nonchalantly, Shizuo gaping in front of him, though quickly shut his mouth, letting out a light cough, not replying.

Izaya raised an eyebrow at him. "We're friends now, are we not?"

Shizuo nodded without hesitation. "I'd think so."

"Then take it as a compliment while I'm being nice," Izaya replied, adding afterwards, "Why did you start bleaching your hair, anyway, Shizu-chan?"

Shizuo gave a small shrug, brushing aside the fact that Izaya even asked him. "Well, Tom convinced me, and at first I thought nothing of it, but after a while it started becoming something to represent my anger, so I kept on bleaching it."

"Why don't you stop, then?"

"Eh?" Shizuo's eyes widened, earning a chuckle from Izaya.

"As much as it pains me to say this, you've been," The informant paused, emphasizing on what followed. "...decent, lately."

Shizuo gave him a faint smile. "If only you could be like this every day."

"Don't push your luck," Izaya murmured, turning to face his laptop once more, turning it back on and waiting for his tabs to return.

Shizuo, in a effort to both piss him off, though all the while not, put his arm around the informant. Izaya tensed up at this, resisting the urge to shove the now partial brunette away. "Don't touch me."

Shizuo pulled his arm away, backing up slightly and folding his arms. "Alright, what's with you? I'm hoping just sleep deprivation, but..."

"But?" Izaya echoed, raising an eyebrow.

"I just don't know with you anymore," Shizuo sighed. "One minute you're fine, and the next, you do a complete one-eighty."

"Sound like someone else we know?"

Shizuo narrowed his eyes defensively. "Listen, I don't know what the hell happened, but I'm not mad at you. If you keep on being a complete dick, though, I might just throw you out the window."

"And you were doing so good," Izaya sighed, earning a glare from Shizuo.

"You know it was an empty threat," Shizuo murmured, turning away for a moment. "Anyway, you're usually not this bad. Something's up."

Izaya frowned. "Nothing's wrong."

"Stop lying to me."

Izaya froze for a moment, eyes beginning to wander away to ignore what was to follow, though he caught himself, facing Shizuo. "If I don't want to talk about it, then I don't want to talk about it."

"What happened to there being no secrets?" Shizuo asked, keeping calm in that moment, though Izaya could tell he was low on nerve. "Please, just tell me."

Izaya found himself with a scowl. "Like you care."

"I do care."

_Wait. _Izaya felt his face flush in slight panic, breaking eye contact for a moment. _He wouldn't say that without knowing. He has to know. But of all the times he could remember..._

"You don't."

"Listen," Shizuo started, turning Izaya back towards him. "Have I tried to kill you recently?"

"No."

"Have I done anything in terms of property damage because of you?"

"No."

"Have I let you live here without any complaint?"

"Maybe."

Shizuo sighed. "Close enough. You should get what I'm trying to say, though."

Izaya folded his arms. "Well, you're continuously trying to get me to believe you're a changed human being."

"I'd say I am," Shizuo said with a frown. "But that's besides the point. I guess..." he trailed off, letting out a nervous laugh. "I guess you could say we're friends now."

"I prefer roommates."

Shizuo's frown did not vanish. "Well, whatever you want to call it, things aren't going to be normal again."

"Oh? And how are you so sure of that?"

"I just am."

Izaya scoffed at him. "Well, then. Maybe I'll consider moving into my own apartment again."

As soon as the words were spoken, Izaya noticed that Shizuo tensed up, and the informant felt a little uncomfortable himself. Not once in the recent months had either of them brought up Izaya possibly going back to his own apartment, nor had they really even considered it. This was just the way things were. And after all this time, Izaya thought, was it even possible to go back to hating one another completely?

_Dammit, stop letting this get to you. _Izaya berated himself, and, while not facing Shizuo, got up out of his chair and slipped his jacket on, eyes on the door. "Don't bother, Shizu-chan. Let's just head out."

He heard Shizuo let out a light snort from behind him, though the other man dropped the subject. "What about Namie?"

"She's caught the flu, I'm afraid," Izaya replied, though he knew at this point what the brunette had in mind after her last 'stunt'. _She's quite determined, I'll give her that. I can only wonder what potential she sees in him, though. _

_Only problem is, he_ has _been more than decent lately._

"Yeah, well, you'll get hypothermia going out like that," came Shizuo's simple reply. Izaya would've retorted, however, he supposed Shizuo had a point. It was only sixteen degrees out, and all he had was his light fur coat. Plus, putting in perspective that Izaya had a bit of an outside job to do, he supposed he could get a little cold. Not that it really mattered to him.

"I'll be fine."

Shizuo sighed, approaching the informant and standing at his side, Izaya giving him a quick glare before opening the door, the cool air chilling him instantly. Shizuo simply smirked at this. "Still think you'll be fine?"

Izaya nodded, taking a step out of the doorway and skipping on down per usual, waiting at the bottom for Shizuo, who asked as he approached, "So, what exactly are we doing?"

"Work."

Shizuo raised an eyebrow. "Work?"

Izaya nodded. "Just keeping an eye out for someone around Sunshine 60."

"What for?"

"You ask too many questions," Izaya replied, starting to make his way ahead, Shizuo shaking his head to himself and following after.

"You're just full of secrets today, aren't you?"

Izaya didn't face him. "You're treading on dangerous waters here, Shizu-chan."

"Very threatening," Shizuo murmured, matching up with Izaya's pace once more. Beside him, Izaya narrowed his eyes, turning to slap him.

Shizuo stopped, questioning look on his face. "Honestly, what's with you today?"

"I'd say, at this point, we've switched personalities," Izaya murmured, barely audible, though Shizuo caught it.

"Maybe you're just going into denial."

"Haven't we already had this discussion?"

Shizuo sighed. "Izaya, just tell me what's wrong."

"Fine," Izaya halted, turning on his heel to face Shizuo. "You want to know what's wrong?"

Shizuo, a bit reluctantly thanks to Izaya's attitude, nodded, not saying a word.

"You."

Instead of ranting at him, Shizuo was smug. "Me?"

Izaya let out a sigh. "Yes, you."

Without waiting for another reply, Izaya turned back around, continuing along the sidewalk, eyes narrowed at himself. _Karma really is a bitch._

"Izaya."

The informant did not move. "Shizu-chan."

"You've been fine for the past month," Shizuo continued. "It can't just be me that's bothering you."

_You're right; it's me. _

When he didn't get an actual response, Shizuo pressed further. "Besides, even if it just me, we agreed to starting over. Are you really going to give up like that?"

"It's a pain to deal with," Izaya murmured, meaning to keep it to himself, though it just came out.

"Why?"

"Shizuo," Izaya started, his expression lightening, though only slightly, as his frown still remained. "You don't just kiss your enemy out of nowhere, drunk or not."

"_That's _what's bothering you?"

"Don't act like it doesn't bother you."

Shizuo recoiled, though instead of continuing, Izaya backed off. "I'm done discussing this. Let's just get this job over with."

* * *

><p>Neither Izaya or Shizuo could sleep that night.<p>

Izaya, of course, kept himself occupied with work, per usual. Though, he was growing dreary. The day simply wasn't interesting, with his humans failing to entertain him, which was highly unusual. He simply wasn't in the mood.

Shizuo had nothing to really occupy him aside seldom checking his phone. He supposed he could text Celty or Shinra - Shinra seemed like a more likely option at this point. The underground doctor seemed to always know what was up with Izaya, though Shizuo couldn't really recall Izaya mentioning him recently. No matter. Shinra could read people just fine - not as well as Izaya, perhaps, but at this point, Shizuo could only assume that the informant couldn't even read himself, and if he could, he didn't want to accept it.

_Stubborn bastard. _Shizuo had a small frown as he pulled his phone out, pulling up Shinra's name in his contacts.

[Hey, is it alright if I ask you something?]

Shinra's response came a couple of moments later. [Ah, Shizuo! Ask away!]

Shizuo rolled his eyes in amusement, typing his response. [Izaya's been really off lately. He says it's all because of me, but I think something else is up with him. I was wondering if you knew anything.]

[I actually haven't heard from him a whole lot lately. Though, I think it's known at this point that Izaya doesn't like to handle the truth sometimes, like when he can't control someone.]

[Don't tell me this is just his god complex.]

[No, I think you're right about it being something deeper.]

Before Shizuo could respond, Shinra sent another text.

[Actually, I think I know exactly what's wrong with him.]

[What is it?]

[I'd rather you not murder me.]

Shizuo let out a light sigh. [Shinra...]

[Alright, alright, you win.]

Another pause.

[It's all just speculation, but I'm thinking Izaya's in love.]

Shizuo froze, setting his phone down beside him as he stared out into blank space, texts flashing rapidly not to alarm him.

[Now, before you freak out, as I said, it's just speculation!]

[Though, I mean, didn't you say something about him kissing you in order to tell you what happened while you were drunk?]

[And didn't he kiss you voluntarily again?]

[It could just be manipulation, but I've seen firsthand that Izaya definitely isn't in his right mind currently.]

[Shizuo?]

[I know you're there. Please answer.]

[Didn't I tell you not to freak out? Please, Shizuo!]

[Shizuo?]

[Shizuo?]

* * *

><p><strong>author's note~<strong>

I know, I know, you might yell at me for apologizing again. But, I am sorry. This chapter has been bugging me greatly, and even though I was told my "beta" that it's the best one yet, I couldn't help but feel like I was screwing up. I guess it's because I took a small look at some of the older chapters, and I was absolutely disgusted with them. It's kind of killing me to not go back and rewrite them. I feel like I'm disappointing you guys, and I can only hope that this chapter will be good enough, considering I took something important for later out. I'll just move it to the next chapter, though; as you guys know, I don't want this to be too rushed.

But, you waited nineteen chapters, and you finally get to see the first kiss! c: At least, part of it. I left that open for interpretation for multiple reasons, and Izaya's, well Izaya. I was originally going to make you guys wait longer for to see what happened, plus get an Izaya chapter, but I suppose if it works, it works.

Now, I already know I'm a little stumped on the next chapter, and it probably seems really stupid of me to ask, but I'd really appreciate if you guys would review and really tell me how you feel, whether it be about the whole story so far, just this chapter, this chapter and the past few - whatever. I want to know what you guys think I'm doing great, and what I need to work on - I can already list plenty of things here, but I'm entirely biased. And if you guys have anything in particular you want to see, that would be nice to include, too. I'm conflicted between giving these two a bit of relief or more angst.

Anyway, though I might not reply to you directly, thank you for all the follows and favorites that I've gotten recently! Welcome aboard this crazy fic. xD I also wanted to thank you all (yet again) for getting this to last for now three months~ It might seem like it is, but I assure you, this fic isn't going anywhere. I've really been longing to work on all of my one-shots (which I am now designating the month of January to, in honor of season 2) but I really want to keep up with this and see where I can take it. Even if it means not editing for another three months.

Anyway, enough with this crazy, long AN that probably scared all of you off. cx" I'll hopefully see you next time~


	20. Human Nature

**chapter twenty - human nature  
><strong>

There was no helping it.

Shizuo's mind was racing, his head throbbing, heart pounding, and he felt weakened.

He didn't know how to describe it. Disbelief? Of course. Guilt? Maybe. Paranoia? Slightly.

Shizuo felt as if he were at a breaking point, and he didn't want to tread those lines again, unless absolutely necessary. Killing Izaya wasn't exactly on that list. So, he took in a deep breath, exhaled lightly and kept his eyes on the ceiling, not wanting to turn around to face the other man. "Oi, flea."

"Yes?"

"This is really random, but I wanted to ask you something. And don't start arguing."

Izaya laughed in slight disbelief. "Alright, I'll keep quiet."

"How would you feel if I never had my strength?"

Izaya was silent for a moment, as if trying to keep himself from using one of his usual responses. "Such a ridiculous question."

Shizuo frowned, about to retort, though Izaya continued. "Well, we would probably be on the same circumstances as before, putting your temper into consideration. Though..."

The informant was cut off as the door burst open, leaving Shizuo to sit up only to see Shinra gazing widely at the two before closing his eyes and letting out a sigh. "Oh, good."

"Shinra?" Shizuo and Izaya harmonized, gazing towards one another with small frowns.

When Shizuo's eyes left Izaya's, they met Shinra's for a brief moment and without a word, Shinra gestured outside. Shizuo took the hint, getting up and grabbing a sweatshirt before following him outside.

"What are you doing here?"

"I left as soon as you stopped responding to make sure you didn't try to kill one another," Shinra replied and Shizuo noticed Celty out of the corner of his eye, the dullahan leaning against Shooter and giving him a small wave in greeting.

Shizuo gave Celty a small nod before turning back to Shinra, frown present. "You still doubt me."

Shinra's face fell. "Kind of, and I'm sorry. I just..."

Cutting the doctor off, Celty made her way up the steps, holding her PDA out. [Are you angry?]

"A little."

[What did I tell you, Shizuo?]

Shizuo sighed. "I know, I know. I should've expected this, but I didn't, and it's really making me think."

[About if you can return the feelings, huh.]

Shizuo nodded meekly. "It's like both of you said, though. Maybe he just doesn't know how to react, considering he's just not himself. Then again, I'm not really myself, either."

"You're still yourself," Shinra spoke up, placing a hand on his shoulder. "You're just doing a better job and balancing your anger, from what I can see."

"But what if I snap again?" Shizuo inquired, not facing either of his friends. "It's still so weird to say this, but I don't want to hurt him, bastard or not. Especially if you're right."

Shinra smiled to himself, gazing away for a moment. "Such a shame you didn't realize this sooner," he murmured, earning an eyebrow raise from Shizuo.

"Hah?"

Celty was the one to respond. [Don't mind him. He's just being Shinra.]

"I feel as if I should be offended!" Shinra's lips curved into a pout, and Celty nudged him lightly, emitting a wary chuckle from the doctor.

Shizuo smiled at the sight. "Thanks, you two. Though," he paused, turning towards Shinra. "It seemed like you had something else to say."

Shinra was reluctant to reply. "Well, we've been off on a good start..."

"Spill it, Kishitani."

"Fine, then," Shinra murmured. "You're scared to love him."

Shizuo frowned, trying to form a reply, though found himself with nothing.

"He's scared, too. It's almost inevitable at this point."

"I just don't get why it has to happen."

Shinra started to turn away, saying softly, in an almost whisper, "You're the one who sealed that."

Shizuo watched as Celty joined Shinra, the two making their way down his steps in sync, leaving the partial blonde to frown and follow after them. "Wait, Shinra!"

Celty answered for him, typing at her PDA and showing it to him quickly before revving Shooter. [Just think about it, Shizuo. We're not telling you to make your decision right now or what decision to make; that's all in your hands. Not Izaya's, either; yours.] The dullahan slipped her PDA down her shirt, giving Shizuo a small wave before riding off, leaving him to watch the two disappear off down the dormant street.

_It's all up for me to decide, huh? _Shizuo let out a sigh, making his way back up the steps, opening the door only to bump into Izaya, sending the info broker to the ground, rubbing at his eyes and staring up at up at the partial blonde. "Well, that's one way to make an entrance."

"Sorry," Shizuo murmured as Izaya regained his balance.

"'Sorry' isn't going to get you anywhere, Shizu-chan. I'd assume you would know that by now."

Shizuo sighed, debating on what to say next. His mind was a battlefield, debating on whether or not he should think the situation over more or bring it up and get it over with. It pissed him off that Shinra hadn't said anything about Izaya's condition, so maybe it was better to wait and ask him later. Though, that's what stumped him. Could love really be what was bothering Izaya so much that he wasn't himself? Shizuo wasn't sure he wanted to find out. What he already knew, however, was that he wanted to find out why Izaya tried hiding. He had already shown a weakness, so why try to hide it? Shizuo supposed he could go with the typical, "He's Izaya. That's just what he does," but this _wasn't _Izaya.

"Something wrong, Shizu-chan?"

"Tired, that's all," Shizuo lied with a shake of his head. "I'll spare you from my protozoan brain for a bit."

Shizuo expected a smug grin from the informant, though it ceased to appear. "That so."

"If I were you, I'd get some sleep, too," Shizuo evaded the question. "Staying up all night won't get you anywhere."

"Very funny," Izaya mumbled, settling down on the couch only to look up again to see Shizuo gawking at him.

"What are you doing?"

"Being nice."

Shizuo furrowed his eyebrows. "Flea, I'm fine."

"So am I."

"I'll drag you if I have to."

Amusement glinted in Izaya's eyes. "Is that a challenge?"

"You tell me."

"I'm not budging."

Shizuo made the decision, then, approaching Izaya and grabbing him by the arms, leaving him so he couldn't make a move for his switchblade. The informant stuck his tongue out in response, though he made no effort to stop Shizuo, shocking the other man. Shizuo went along with it, however, keeping his promise and dragging Izaya all the way down the hall, yet Izaya still did not protest.

_What's _really _going on with you, Izaya?_

Eventually Shizuo released Izaya, the informant letting out a sigh of relief and falling backwards onto the bed, closing his eyes, and yet again, not reaching for his switchblade.

"What, did you just go through thirty seconds of hell?" Shizuo asked, chuckle heard in his words.

"Nothing seems to be qualified enough to be hell for me," came Izaya's reply. "Except for maybe spending every Sunday with you."

Shizuo sat down beside him, elbowing him lightly, though he noticed Izaya cringed slightly. "I'm not that bad, am I?"

Izaya sat up then, cringing for a brief moment before staring at Shizuo with a straight face. "You're the worst human being I've ever met."

The informant afterwards realized his mistake, though not before Shizuo could smirk at him triumphantly, leaving Izaya to fall back and let out an irritated, though spurious groan.

"Why are you so mad about it?" Shizuo was still smirking, and Izaya had closed his eyes, turning on his side. "Honestly, it seems you've been getting mad at everything lately...are you sure we didn't switch personalities?"

"If we had, I probably would've strangled Shinra earlier," Izaya murmured. "That's very 'you', wouldn't you agree?"

Shizuo snorted, though a small smile remained. "Are you done bullshitting me now?"

"Oh, no, I'm only getting started." Izaya smirked. "I probably have a list long enough to write a book. 'The Trials and Errors of Shizuo Heiwajima'."

"Come on, I expected better out of you. Something like, 'How to Train Your Protozoan'."

Shizuo knew the informant didn't want to admit it, but Izaya had laughed then, rolling over so Shizuo could face him again and sure enough, a small smile was breaking through.

_If only you could always be like this._

Izaya opened one eye then, glaring up at Shizuo. "Ne?"

Shizuo simply blinked at him. _I swear I didn't say anything. Shit, shit, shit..._

"Anyway, what happened to sleeping?" Izaya asked, closing his eye again.

"Like I'm going to trust you in the same building as a computer at almost two in the morning."

"You said it yourself," Izaya continued, letting out a yawn. "I need sleep."

Shizuo frowned. "Since when do you ever listen to me?"

"You're killing the moment, Shizu-chan."

"You're really content on being nice."

"So, if I were you, I'd get your ass out there before I change my mind."

Shizuo smirked. "I'm not budging."

Izaya let out a sigh, sitting up and elbowing him in return for earlier. "You're such a child."

"Says the five-year old."

"Go to bed, Shizu-chan."

The debt collector feigned a sigh, elbowing Izaya one last time before heading off down the hall, unaware that Izaya would sleep like a baby.

He wouldn't.

* * *

><p>"Damn, it's getting colder and colder by the second!"<p>

"Affirmative. It's said this will be the coldest winter in the past few years."

"Guess that gives us a chance to ask the boss to cancel work for a few days."

"Shizuo-senpai?"

Shizuo was snapped out a daze by Vorona's voice, gazing at her and Tom apologetically.

"Man, what happened to you?" Tom furrowed his eyebrows in question.

"Didn't sleep."

"At all?"

Shizuo gave a solemn nod.

"You could've called out," Tom started, giving his friend a small frown. "You never take sick days or anything."

Vorona nodded in agreement. "Tanaka-senpai and I would have carried on fine."

Shizuo let out a sigh. "Yeah, well, I wasn't sure I was ready for another vacation day."

"What did you do?"

"It's not so much what I do, but what I _don't _do," Shizuo muttered in contrast to bringing up Izaya. Vorona had not been informed of their situation, and as much as Shizuo didn't want to hide something from her, he kept quiet, and Tom complied.

Tom sighed, shaking his head mockingly. "Only you, Shizuo. You need to get out more."

"Yeah, I know," Shizuo grumbled.

"We could go somewhere tonight," Tom suggested. "Maybe for a drink?"

"No!" Shizuo instantly sapped, both Tom and Vorona gazing at him in shock.

"You seem quite distraught, Shizuo-senpai," Vorona said lightly. "Is something troubling you?"

"No," Shizuo lied, turning away and hoping the topic would be dropped.

Tom got the hint and carried on. "I heard that Kasuka finished filming...yesterday, I think it was?"

"Really?" Shizuo asked in slight disbelief, wondering why he hadn't heard from his brother himself, pulling out his phone then. He gazed towards Tom in question, and his friend nodded, leaving him to fall back, dialing Kasuka's number.

He picked up on the first ring. "_Hello, nii-san._"

"Hey," Shizuo managed a small smile. "Heard you finished filming."

Kasuka sounded a bit reluctant. "_I'm sorry I didn't tell you myself._"

"Don't worry about it," Shizuo assured him. "So, when are you coming home?"

"_I should be here by ten or eleven tonight. If that's too late for you to meet up-_"

"No, it's fine. Do you want to meet at Sunshine again?"

"_Okay._"

"Missed you, Kas."

"_Missed you, too._"

With that, the two hung up and Shizuo hustled to catch up with Tom and Vorona, though Tom gestured back towards where he had come from, noticing the smile on his face. "Go home, Shizuo."

"Just this once," Shizuo replied, giving the two a small wave before running off, barreling inside his apartment, struck with surprise to not see Izaya there. Raising an eyebrow to himself, he made his way down the hall, poking his head inside his room and sure enough, Izaya was still sound asleep, and Shizuo felt himself smiling at the sight. He cursed himself all the way towards the couch, however, collapsing on it and waiting for sleep to claim him.

* * *

><p>"Well, this is a surprise."<p>

Shizuo opened his eyes to see Izaya looming in front of him, leaving the partial blonde to blink twice and sit up, gazing up at the other man. "What time is it?"

"Quarter to ten, about. Why?"

Shizuo let out a small yawn. "Kasuka's coming home, and I promised I'd meet him. Wait, quarter to ten?"

Izaya nodded.

"Damn, I slept all day," Shizuo murmured, standing up and heading off towards the mirror on the nearby wall, having a double-take when he saw his brunette roots. "Wonder if I'll shock him as much as I shock myself with it," he murmured to himself, fixing his bowtie quickly.

"Ne, there's a name I haven't heard in a while," Izaya commented, leaving Shizuo to turn and face him.

"If you start making jokes about my brother, I'll throw you all the way to next Tuesday."

Shizuo expected a smirk, though Izaya honestly looked a bit hurt, leaving him confused for a moment before it hit him. _The twins..._

"Anyway," he murmured, switching the subject briskly. "I'll be back in a couple of hours. Don't work too hard."

"I won't make any promises," Izaya called as Shizuo made his way out the door, and Shizuo rolled his eyes, heading out for Sunshine 60.

He had expected a bit of a wait, but the nighttime breeze was starting to chill him to the bone, leaving him to reluctantly clutch at his arms until he felt his phone vibrate. It wasn't from Kasuka, however. It was from Izaya.

[He got in an accident. A bad one, at that. He's at Narita Red Cross right now, since I'm sure you want to hurry over there.]

Shizuo's eyes widened in horror and he felt himself freeze for a second, but managed to snap himself out of it, flipping his phone shut. _Narita...damn, that's over an hour away! _

_Kasuka...please be okay._

* * *

><p>It hadn't occurred to Shizuo then that Izaya might have been lying; all he could think about was his brother's safety. He knew it couldn't be a lie, however, when he recognized a familiar face in the hospital lobby.<p>

"Ruri."

The brunette looked up at the sound of her name, and Shizuo noticed her flinch as he approached. "S-Shizuo..."

Shizuo had noticed in the past that Ruri harbored a fear for him, and considering they hadn't been around each other in months, he knew that she had a valid reason for that fear. "Relax," he began softly, taking the seat beside her. "I'm not going to hurt you."

Ruri simply nodded, and Shizuo noticed a look of guilt on her face, seemingly more than just being in his presence.

"Are you alright?"

"I feel guilty for coming out unscathed," Ruri said in a soft voice, pressing her hands together and interlocking her fingers nervously. "It all happened so fast..."

"You were with him?"

She nodded. "I arrived in America about two weeks ago as a surprise, since I was on break. On the way here, he was talking about how he thought maybe the three of us could have dinner. He seemed so excited to see you."

Shizuo sighed. "I wish I could see him."

"I imagine it won't be long until we can."

Shizuo was about to ask what happened to him, but Ruri already looked to be in enough pain. _He's lucky to have someone like Ruri. It's nice to see she actually cares for him._

_I can only dream to have someone like that. _

The sight of Izaya laughing came to his mind then, leaving Shizuo at war with jumbled thoughts. _Kasuka got in a bad accident. Should probably try to calm Ruri down. Izaya..._

Izaya had told him about Kasuka, and Shizuo listened without hesitation. _He could've just lied to me. But, then again, he knows what it's like to lose a sibling - no, siblings. _

He wanted to accept it as a fact that they were beginning to trust one another.

Though, that wasn't the issue at hand.

"Yeah," he finally murmured in agreement. "I hope you're right."

In order to avoid talking about the accident, Shizuo decided to make some smalltalk, though it was a little difficult, barely knowing Ruri. He felt guilty about it, but he didn't want to intimidate her accidentally or anything. It was nice while it lasted, though, and Ruri seemed to be at ease.

Midnight hit, and Shizuo and Ruri were told to leave, with no news on Kasuka's condition. "Dammit..."

Ruri gazed at him for a brief moment before approaching the front desk. "Could you please contact us if anything happens?" The woman running the front nodded, and Ruri quickly asked Shizuo for his number before turning to leave.

"I'm planning on staying in a hotel nearby, just in case," she stated as the two made their way outside the hospital doors.

Shizuo nodded. "That doesn't sound like a bad idea. It's probably too late to get back to Ikebukuro, anyway."

Ruri nodded in return. "I'll see you soon, then."

Shizuo was about to head his own way, but the brunette stopped him, facing him with a small smile. "And, thanks for talking with me. You're a good person, and I'm happy you care about Kasuka."

Shizuo smiled in return. "Same here."

Ruri gave him a parting wave before disappearing into the night, and Shizuo leaned against the side of the building for a moment, pulling his phone out to text Izaya. [Staying in Narita overnight. No news on Kasuka yet.]

Izaya replied rather quickly. [Good luck.]

Shizuo blinked in surprise. [Anyway...thanks for telling me about him.]

[Shizu-chan, if you're going to get all sappy with me, I'll get over there and kick _you _into next Tuesday.]

[Sappy, huh?]

[Go to bed.]

[Are you trying to imitate me? Because, strangely, it's working.]

[Aw, I expected the usual 'Shut up, flea.']

[Shut up, flea.]

[Alright, alright, I'll spare you tonight.]

Shizuo managed a small smile. [Hey, before you go, I really do mean it. Thanks.]

Izaya didn't respond for a while, and Shizuo gave up, giving one last glance towards the hospital with all his thoughts for Kasuka until he made his way down the same way Ruri went, hoping a hotel wasn't too far away. His phone buzzed as he reached the hotel, however, and he pulled it out quickly.

[Stop sounding so human.]

Shizuo froze then, and he felt his face flush suddenly, cursing himself silently. _Dammit...don't let him distract you._

It took some time after getting a room and absentmindedly staring at the ceiling for what seemed to be an eternity, with memories of America flooding him all the while, until some odd hours later, he fell asleep with thoughts of Kasuka.

Izaya wasn't gone, however, and he couldn't deny that.

* * *

><p><strong>author's note~<strong>

I feel like this chapter is really bad. ;_; I'm sorry I gave you guys so much hype in the last chapter. I know some of you were maybe even expecting some fluff, but we're not there yet - and you can thank Izaya for that. xD"

But, Shizuo got his wish, and I particularly like the conversations these two had (dare I say they're on the verge of being cute cx"), so it's not like you were flooded with extreme angst. I felt like having Kasuka get hurt was necessary, though, after the whole thing with the twins. We'll just see where this takes us.

Also, Vorona and Ruri appeared, yay~ ^w^ I hate to flood those of you who know nothing about the light novels, but I highly suggest reading them, even though season 2's right around the corner. I'm trying to keep spoilers out, so you're welcome. cx Only problem I have is that I think I got their characters completely off. I'm rewatching the anime right now and I'm about to go re-read the LNs (I read them _way _too fast), so I can only hope they're not too off.

On a final note, I can't thank you guys _enough _for all of your wonderful reviews! ;w; They should have gotten this chapter out faster, but to be honest, I didn't think of anything past Shizuo's insomnia until today. Still, you helped my opinion on this fic a lot. I'm still going to rewrite the first 12 chapters, especially considering I've thought of quite a few things to add in, but I'll make note to keep the old chapters somewhere for you guys if you like them that much.

Anyway, enough of me talking. Thanks again for your support, and I'll hopefully see you soon~!


	21. Unconditional Love

**chapter twenty-one - unconditional love  
><strong>

"So he's okay? Oh, thank God..."

Shizuo fell back onto his bed, smile spread across his face at the sound of the news, repeating to himself, _He's okay...Kasuka's okay..._

After pulling himself together rather quickly, Shizuo hurried down to the hospital, taking in a deep breath as he took the elevator up to Kasuka's room, opening the door and peering inside, smiling at the sight of him. Kasuka had a few bandages on his face, and he did have a broken arm, leg, and bruised ribs, but he was alive, and that was all Shizuo cared about in that moment.

"I'm so glad you're okay," he blurted out, instantly feeling flustered and turning away for a moment. If Kasuka, for one, hadn't been in pain, and two, been acting, he probably would've chuckled at the sight of his brother. He at least managed a smile.

"I'm sorry they made you worry about me," Kasuka murmured, attempting to sit up.

Shizuo stood at his side now, gazing back over at him. "Hey, take it easy."

"Sorry."

"Stop apologizing."

Kasuka's smile widened. "Sorry."

Shizuo managed a feeble smile in return, sitting down at his bedside when Kasuka continued on. "Do you know if Ruri's coming?"

"She stayed with me until the hospital closed, you know," Shizuo replied. "I'm happy you have someone who cares about you as much as she does."

"I am, too," Kasuka murmured. "And, I know what you're thinking, nii-san."

Shizuo raised an eyebrow at him.

"You'll fine someone."

"Great, now you sound like Tom," Shizuo muttered with a small, nervous chuckle. "I'm not looking for love, Kas. I gave up on that long before I had the chance."

_Though, with all of this happening with Izaya..._

_Damn. That flea's over an hour away, and he still can't leave me alone._

"Don't say that," Kasuka replied. "You'll find someone."

_So the whole world keeps trying to show me. _"Anyway, when do you think you can get out of here?"

Kasuka's expression returned to normal. "I'm not too sure, actually."

Shizuo gave a solemn nod. "I hate to ask, but do you remember what happened?"

"Well," Kasuka started, staring down at his hands. A trait he adopted from Shizuo. "I'm used to being chased nowadays, but the people behind Ruri and I pulled out a gun and started shooting. Next thing we knew a car came up on our side, ad then another, and it turned into chaos..."

_A shooting?_ Shizuo's eyes widened. "We're just lucky it wasn't something worse."

Kasuka gave a small nod. "I'm just happy Ruri's okay."

Shizuo managed a small smile. "She's shook up, but okay. She felt really bad about being the one to come out fine, too."

Kasuka frowned, genuine hurt in his eyes, startling Shizuo for a moment. "I hope she comes here soon."

"I'm sure she will."

The brothers sat in a small silence, with Shizuo asking him about the movie and how America was, trying to cheer him up while he could.

Ruri showed up eventually, a small tear rolling down her cheek as she sat at Kasuka's side, taking hold of his hand.

"I should probably go," Shizuo murmured. "Let me know when you can come home, okay?"

"Okay."

"I mean it," Shizuo teased, smiling at him before exiting, ready to head back to Ikebukuro, though feeling guilty for leaving Kasuka behind.

Though, he had his own demons to fight.

* * *

><p>[Kasuka's fine, so I'm on my way back.]<p>

[Aw, abandoning your brother so quickly?]

Shizuo sighed, leaning against the window of the train back to Ikebukuro as he typed. [He has Ruri.]

[This still seems unlike you.]

_Stop being so human._ Shizuo flinched at Izaya's lingering words, setting his phone down in his lap for a moment, gazing blindly out the window. _Izaya..._

_This is in your hands to make. Not Izaya's; yours._

Shizuo frowned, clenching his fists for a moment before taking his phone again. _Get a hold of yourself. Think about what's important._

A small voice in the back of his head told him Izaya was important, however.

How would life had gone had the kiss not happened?

Izaya's beaten, bloody corpse would probably be laying aside a vending machine had time gone that way.

Shizuo stared down at his hands, frown surfacing across his face. _Damn... Does he really believe I've gotten better? I...I still know that I can hurt someone._

Shizuo Heiwajima was scared.

His phone buzzed again, and as expected, it was Izaya. [It shouldn't take this long to respond, Shizu-chan.]

[Sorry, you were boring me to death.]

[Someone's getting awful cocky today.]

Shizuo managed a feeble smile. [Learned from the worst.]

[I see someone wants to go a month without a paycheck.]

Shizuo didn't respond.

He could hear the smirk in Izaya's words. [I win.]

[Not for long.]

Izaya didn't respond, leaving Shizuo alone for the rest of the ride home, sightseeing his only salvation. Sitting here, however, reminded him of the ride to the airport, remembering how cold Izaya had looked, wounded and all. He remembered the ride to the beach with Mairu and Kururi's ashes...the last words he ever said to them involving Kasuka.

It was a guilt trip with no way out.

Had it really only been four months? It felt as if it been a lot longer. He assumed it was a side effect of knowing Izaya as long as he had. His twenty-fifth birthday was right around the corner, meaning...

Nine years. Nine years of Izaya and only four months that really meant something.

They threw knives. Vending machines. Barrels of acid. Street signs. Trash cans. Coke bottles. More knives. Chased one another for hours on end, always running.

_Maybe,_ Shizuo supposed. _We can stop running._

* * *

><p>"Welcome back," Shizuo heard Izaya call as he stepped inside the apartment, though the informant's voice was muffled as he wasn't in sight. He appeared out of the bathroom a moment later, though, sliding his jacket on and flashing Shizuo a small smirk.<p>

"Someone's in a good mood this morning."

Izaya sauntered past his secretary, plopping down in his chair and spinning around. "I suppose you could say that."

Shizuo feigned a frown, approaching Izaya's desk. "Who committed suicide today?"

Izaya raised an eyebrow. "You flatter me."

"Well, I hate to disappoint you, but I should probably head out."

"Tom gave you off again," Izaya said nonchalantly, halting his chair and turning his laptop on.

Shizuo sighed. "I should still go."

"I feel really flattered now."

"But," Shizuo dragged out. "I do want to talk to you about something."

Izaya smirked. "Sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of people dying."

"Did you crawl out of Hell when you were born?"

"Are you trying to call me a demon?"

Shizuo gave him a sideways grin. "Maybe."

"Fine then," Izaya said in mock hurt. "Go find Tom and Vorona, maybe work some overtime."

"Maybe I will," Shizuo replied smoothly, Izaya sticking his tongue out at him. The partial blonde returned the favor before disappearing down the hall, leaving Izaya's eyes to wander and find that Shizuo had left his phone on the desk. Izaya was hesitant, though he reached over and grabbed the phone, sliding it in his pocket, waiting for Shizuo to leave before he checked.

Shizuo left a while later, and as Izaya had expected, oblivious to his missing phone. _Honestly, Shizu-chan, you make me pity you._

Izaya took no time at all to begin to scroll through Shizuo's texts, noticing that most of his recent texts had all been from the informant himself, uninterrupted. He should've expected what came next, however, with Shinra's name popping up, the date going back to only two days prior.

[...but I'm thinking Izaya's in love.]

"Love," Izaya murmured aloud, quite thankful that Namie was out. _Shinra, you bastard. _He abruptly flipped the phone shut, a lingering want to read the rest of the conversation claiming him, but he didn't find it all that necessary. Those were the only words he needed to hear.

_In love..._ Izaya echoed. _I guess that would make me a hypocrite.__ You've been on to me, Shizu-chan. _Izaya managed a weak laugh.

He didn't want to admit it. He didn't suppose he could. But, the thought had struck his mind before, courtesy of Shinra.

_This life is ruining me..._

* * *

><p>Time seemed to slow with the time that Kasuka was landed in the hospital. Shizuo had gotten updates that his condition was not stellar, with his bruised ribs leading into further respiratory pain, and that he was having issues with his left eye. After starting to hear all of this, the debt collector was not hesitant to visit his brother whenever he could, sometimes staying in Narita overnight, as much as Kasuka protested to it.<p>

Namie had "recovered" all the while, so Izaya didn't really find himself missing company in general - it was almost as if things could go back to normal. Both were bitter as ever without Shizuo around to butt in, and Namie picked up on this.

"Does someone miss his monster?" She would taunt, lips curving into a pout as to imitate Izaya. "I should've known I'd come in second, even though I'm human."

"You're hardly human, Namie-chan," Izaya would reply, uninterested.

It was plain and simple; Izaya had become dependent on Shizuo's presence. With him gone, the informant could only feel a bit lacking.

He constantly asked himself why. Why, after Namie had been his company for far longer? Why, when he had almost always been alone anyway? Why Shizuo, the man he had supposedly hated the most?

Izaya did not use 'supposedly' loosely; yet another thing he could thank Shinra for, the crazy doctor and his lovey-dovey prattles. As early as the same week that Shizuo and Izaya had met, Shinra had already formed a hypothesis on why their meeting went the way it did.

The informant didn't want to remember.

Shizuo, too, had been plagued by this theory, and based on the recent months, a part of him hadn't forgotten.

_"It might not be anywhere near plausible in your mind," Shinra had began one afternoon on the way home from Raijin. "But looking at this, maybe even a little unrealistically, it could be possible that your anger warped the lines of love and hate."_

_Shizuo gaped at him. "Hah?"  
><em>

_Shinra sighed. "What I mean is it could be possible that your mind confused love at first sight with hate at first sight."_

"Hah?!"

_"N-now Shizuo...!"_

Shizuo merely sighed at the memory, both berating and doubting himself.

_Guess I can't talk crap about your predictions anymore, Shinra._

The now brunette would stare blindly up at the ceiling of his hotel room, unbeknownst to him that Izaya would lay on his bed back in their apartment, both wondering how the days would play out. It was a troubling thought, with Shizuo terrified of what would happen to Kasuka, and Izaya, as much as he wouldn't admit it, began to feel something close to pity.

The informant knew the pain of worrying about siblings, even going as far to lose both of them. He supposed, just this once - and with Shizuo gone - he could sympathize in silence.

Some nights Izaya dreamed of Mairu and Kururi, picturing their cruel fate and knowing he was indirectly responsible.

The discreet violent nature inside of him told him he wanted this Nakamura's blood on his hands, but the more rational side allowed him to laugh and think that getting revenge would make him no better than the bastard himself.

"Namie-chan," Izaya called to her one night, actually turning to face his secretary.

Namie simply blinked at him, setting a bowl of miso soup down on his desk. "What?"

Izaya's eyes met hers, then ventured to the bowl, and landed back on his computer screen. "Nothing," he murmured. "It was a bit of a crazy thought, that's all. Don't mind me."

Namie raised an eyebrow. "Something's wrong."

"What?" It came out as a laugh. "Oh, no, I'm fine."

Namie exhaled lightly, turning her back to him. "If you say so."

Izaya managed a faint smirk. "Is that concern I hear?"

His secretary snorted, venturing off to the kitchen, not turning back. "Like I would be concerned about someone with the likes of you."

Izaya feigned a sigh. "Oh, if only Shizu-chan was here. You're such a ray of sunshine around me, after all."

Namie snickered. "You miss him, don't you?"

"I have no one to miss," Izaya lied, Namie catching him red-handed, though she chose to remain silent. "What are you still doing here, Namie-chan? It's almost ten."

"I suppose I can give you hell sometimes," she murmured.

* * *

><p>One month of torture down, and Kasuka was released from the hospital.<p>

"Are you absolutely sure?" Shizuo demanded when Kasuka came up behind him and put his hand on his brother's shoulder.

"Nii-san, don't worry. I'll be fine."

Shizuo frowned, gazing over his shoulder to face him. "Will you stay with me? Just in case. I just..."

Kasuka nodded. "I understand."

Shizuo looked away, embarrassed. "...Thanks."

He hadn't thought to think about Izaya's reaction, however.

Surprisingly, the informant was indifferent. "Yuuhei-san."

"Orihara-san," Kasuka gave him a small nod in greeting, making his way over to the couch and gently breaking free from his crutches. "I wasn't aware you were staying here."

Izaya shot Shizuo a small glare, and Shizuo shot him one back. "Shizu-chan and I have made some temporary arrangements."

Kasuka simply nodded, gazing over at Shizuo, though it wasn't returned.

"Want anything, Kas?" Shizuo asked, still not facing him.

"I'm fine."

The rest of the day was nothing short of awkward. Izaya was personally hit by Kasuka's presence, Namie was apparently a bit of a Yuuhei Hanejima fan, so she was hit as well, and Shizuo was thrown in the middle of it all.

Though, Kasuka was grateful, and that made up for part of it.

"Thank you, Shizuo."

Shizuo smiled. "No problem."

Kasuka managed to make his way down to Shizuo's room, and Shizuo faced Izaya, who was preoccupied on his laptop, per usual. In a bit of a mood to annoy him, Shizuo sneaked up behind him, peeking over his shoulder to see the Dollars chat up, reaching over for the keyboard, though Izaya smacked his hand away.

"Who died and made you like me?" Izaya murmured, eyes still on the chat.

Shizuo chuckled. "What? It's fun pissing you off."

"I can tell," Izaya grumbled, pausing to look up at him.

Shizuo's eyes met his for a moment, though he turned away, locking his gaze on the couch. "I'm letting Kasuka have the bed, so it looks like we're fighting over the couch this time."

"And it's very clear on who's going to win that battle," Izaya replied, standing up and spiraling past Shizuo, landing on the couch and claiming full ownership, victory smirk in tact.

"Not fair, flea," Shizuo countered, standing behind the couch and climbing over the edge, squeezing into the small space between Izaya the pillows, startling the informant and knocking him off completely. Shizuo seized the victory smirk now, with Izaya lifting himself back up and frowning at the other man.

"Look who's talking."

Shizuo's smirk did not falter, though he let out a small sigh and scooted over, making a small bit of room. "There. Sit on the other side, and we should be fine."

Izaya frowned, though did as he said, kicking his legs out and relaxing himself. "I know you're going to kick me off in my sleep."

"I won't."

"You're just full of lies lately, aren't you?" Izaya murmured, closing his eyes and resting his head on the arm of the couch.

Shizuo kicked him lightly.

"What did I tell you?" Izaya rambled, though it partially came out in chuckles.

Shizuo smiled. "As I said, it's fun pissing you off."

"Welcome to my world."

The two continued to talk for a while, and Shizuo found that his smile kept on coming back, listening to Izaya dramatize a rant after Shizuo had made another comment about him 'crawling out of Hell', listening to him ramble on about the Dollars - he particularly found that interesting, never thinking of Izaya to be a rambler. He didn't think the informant realized it, either.

"What are you smiling at?" Izaya eventually asked, realizing Shizuo's long-term expression.

Shizuo blinked at him for a moment, closing his eyes. "Nothing."

_Is this..._

_No. Nothing happened. Just shut up. Dammit..._

"And the lies continue," Izaya murmured, occupying himself with his phone instead of noticing Shizuo's minor freakout.

Eventually Izaya fell asleep, and Shizuo noted that he himself was smiling in his sleep, even if faintly.

"Good night, flea," Shizuo whispered, Izaya's smile fresh in his mind as he drifted off to sleep himself.

* * *

><p>Shizuo awoke in a dream, starting off with Kasuka asking him if they could go out and spend the day they didn't get to have together. He was still reluctant to let Kasuka do anything, but if he felt fine, Shizuo supposed he could go along with his brother's wishes. After all, he did seem a bit better than earlier - definitely better than his early condition.<p>

The brothers spent the whole day doing what they would do on an average day; see a movie, go out to eat, window shopping... Shizuo would admit he had missed it, and hadn't really realized how long Kasuka had been gone, now that he had more to occupy him.

As usual, Kasuka thanked him on the walk home and Shizuo sheepishly told him it was no problem at all, only to realize Kasuka was no longer at his side.

"Kas?" he called, gazing around him to see seldom a person walk by, wondering what was going on. Sure, it was dark out, but it couldn't be _that _late. Shizuo called Kasuka's name again, and one person appeared in view, but it wasn't his brother.

Subconsciously, Shizuo clenched his fists and found himself wondering why, but the figure began to approach, and when his face came into view, instinct kicked in for Shizuo to find the nearest item to throw.

"Nakamura."

Nakamura let out a light chuckle. "Surprised to see you remember me."

"It's bit hard to forget after what you did to Izaya," Shizuo muttered, tempted to approach him, grab him by the shirt collar and swing him across the park.

"So, how's Yuuhei doing? I haven't heard anything about him lately."

Shizuo wasn't holding back now. "What the hell did you do with him?"

Nakamura backed up. "Who says I did anything? This is just a friendly little meeting, right?"

"Tch," Shizuo grumbled, not holding back now. He went straight for Nakamura at full force, ready to send him flying, though it took him a moment to realize who was now in front of him, and by the time he did, it was too late.

Shizuo went flying straight into Kasuka, stunning his brother and sending him backwards, far farther than he would've intended, and at the sound of bones crunching, he found himself sinking to the ground, staring down at his fists fearfully.

"No...why..."

He only sat for a moment longer, picking himself up and barreling towards Kasuka, sitting down beside his brother's even further beaten body. Kasuka's eyes were closed, and Shizuo found himself completely terrified to look any further.

"Kasuka, I..."

Shizuo bolted up, then, realizing he was not on the couch with Izaya any longer, but in his own bed, clutching the sheets for comfort. "Wait..."

He had been wrong.

This wasn't a dream.

He remembered now, as his phone buzzed with worried texts from Shinra, Celty, and Tom, snapping him back into reality, and he soon found that Izaya was outside, perking up at the sound of Shizuo's voice.

Shizuo clearly remembered now. He was scared. Too scared. This wasn't right. It just wasn't.

That's why he had locked the door.

For once in his life, he feared hurting Izaya.

Outside, the informant was attempting to turn the doorknob, and Shizuo, out of nowhere, called to him, "Open the door and I'll kill you."

He was so disoriented he didn't even know if he meant as a threat or as a warning.

"Ooh, someone's in a bad mood today," Izaya sing-songed, Shizuo groaning in response, though he continued on. "Why?"

"Maybe because there's a chance I just killed my brother!" Shizuo yelped, his voice cracking in the process.

Vulnerable.

_Yeah, I suppose I know that feeling. _Izaya let out a light sigh.

"Try and kill me all you want, but I'm still coming in."

Shizuo snorted. "Don't sound so nonchalant."

Izaya raised an eyebrow defensively, still persistent to open the door. "Who says I'm being nonchalant?"

"Maybe because when the twins died, you didn't give a shit!"

Izaya gritted his teeth, swinging the door open, sending Shizuo into a backwards spiral, and when he turned right again, the informant flicked out his switchblade and aimed it at his throat. "Don't you _ever_ say that again. I loved my sisters."

"Oh, really?"

Izaya was infuriated now. "Where the hell were you when I found out? On the flight home? What about the beach? Huh?" His voice cracked at the last part as he spat it out, moving to hold the blade right across Shizuo's throat when the other man took a hold of it, breaking it clear in half. Izaya was caught off guard for a moment when he saw blood trailing down both the blade and the brunette's fingers, releasing his half of the switchblade and watching it fall to the floor, letting himself go down with it. "Dammit, Shizu-chan..."

Shizuo snapped back to reality then, releasing what he had done and dropping the blade, sitting on his knees in front of the raven haired man. "Izaya..."

Izaya didn't look up. "Shut up."

"I'm-"

Izaya cut him off. "You're not sorry, and I don't deserve your pity, so don't even bother."

_Deserve?_ Shizuo blinked. "Don't say that."

Izaya let out a light laugh, and it eventually turned into hysteric spats, raising alarm on Shizuo's part. "Look at us. Absolutely pitiful..."

"Izaya..."

"I'm sorry."

Shizuo froze, eyes widening at the informant. "What?"

Izaya simply laughed again. "Never thought I'd see the day where I lacked stability. Congrats on being the one to bring that out in me."

Shizuo was about to say something else, though Izaya lifted his head up, placing a finger to Shizuo's lips. "As I was saying, I'm sorry about Kasuka. I would say I feel pity for your attitude, but it's not your fault."

"Izaya, he went flying probably halfway across the city," Shizuo murmured. "Just when I thought things were getting better, I went and fucked up again. So, I guess you were right about one thing."

Izaya was silent.

Shizuo's face fell as he gazed upon his cut open fingers, mindlessly bleeding out onto the floor. "Monsters never do change."

Izaya retained a chuckle in his throat. "You really are an idiot."

Not giving the brunette a chance to respond, Izaya lifted his head up and briskly brushed their lips together, earning a noise of protest from Shizuo, though he didn't pull away, and when Izaya did, he returned the kiss, shocking Izaya, though only briefly.

The informant smiled faintly. "You'd better not have gotten any blood on my jacket," he started, slipping the coat off to examine it. "Or I'll be the one killing you."

"I still don't understand how you can be so nonchalant about all this," Shizuo murmured, smiling, but only for a moment. "Are we really going to keep doing this, like it means nothing?"

Izaya frowned, sliding his jacket back on and standing up, leaving Shizuo to stare blankly at him. "I'll let you figure that out."

Shizuo, using his other hand to help him stand up, turned towards Izaya, frown also in tact. "I think you're just evading all this. I know you have an answer."

"And what if I do?" Izaya murmured. "Not that it matters."

Shizuo let out a light groan. "See, you're still evading it. Is there any way to knock some sense in you?"

Izaya chuckled. "I've asked myself that same question for the past eight years, Shizu-chan, and we can see how far that's gotten me."

"About me, or about yourself?"

"Smartass," Izaya muttered, almost in a whisper, and he turned to face the door, though Shizuo came up behind him and placed his bloody hand on his shoulder. "You bastard! Get a bandage like a normal human, would you?"

Shizuo laughed in response, and Izaya rounded to see him with a wide smile, still laughing.

"Do I humor you that much?" Izaya murmured bitterly, smudging the blood on his shoulder and frowning at his red specked fingers, looking up from them to still see a small smile present on Shizuo's face.

"Yes."

Izaya gaped at him for a moment, not forming a reply right away when Shizuo continued. "Guess I'll go clean this up. And sorry about the jacket. Heaven forbid you get blood in it a third time."

Again, Shizuo cut Izaya off from another reply, pausing in the doorway. "Hey, you haven't been stalking Nakamura lately, have you?"

Izaya simply inquired, "Why do you want to know?"

Shizuo gulped. "He was the one who..."

"Ah," Izaya broke him off. "That's a little strange, actually. He shouldn't really have reason to go after you, save for the fact that the last he thought we were conspiring. But that was four months ago..." He placed a hand on his chin in thought. "What's worse is that he seems to want target whoever we care about."

Shizuo nodded in agreement, though remained silent.

Izaya let out a light laugh. "Ah, humans. Targeting loved ones to prolong someone else's torture."

There was a brief silence when Shizuo spoke up, reluctantly. "How did you cope?"

Izaya blinked at him. "Shizu-chan, you're talking as if he already died."

"Well..." Shizuo trailed off, staring down at his hands.

"Has anyone died from you attacking them like that before?"

"Well, no, but considering the shape he was in, I doubt he could live through that."

"Why aren't you with him?"

Shizuo gulped. "I've let him down too many times, but this is the worst I've ever done. I just don't think I can face him."

"Shizu-chan," Izaya started, expression stoic as he spoke. "If someone loves you as much as Kasuka does, then they end up loving you unconditionally. No matter what you do, if a person truly cares about you, they can forgive you. That's what love is about, right? Accepting someone, even with their flaws?"

Shizuo managed a faint smile. "You sound as if you're talking from experience."

"Humans, my dear Shizu-chan," Izaya replied, reverting back to his usual tone as he strolled past the other man. "Hell, I love them because of their flaws."

Shizuo shook his head in amusement. "You and your stupid god complex."

"There's nothing wrong with philanthropy," Izaya said as he gazed over his shoulder before making his way over to his desk. "Now, are you going to bandage that hand up, or would you rather have blood stains all over creation?"

"I'll take the stains," Shizuo murmured with a smirk. "I know you'll be so thrilled if I do."

"Guess I'm off to buy a beach house."

Another silence.

Shizuo disappeared into the bathroom and came out moments later, finishing up with tying the bandage around his fingers. "Guess it wouldn't hurt to call Shinra. I think there's a piece stuck somewhere."

Izaya frowned. "Stuck?"

"I'm not entirely invincible, flea," Shizuo replied, taking his place on the couch.

_You're not supposed to be vulnerable._

Izaya laughed internally, murmuring, "I suppose that makes two of us."

* * *

><p><strong>author's note~<strong>

Well then, this chapter's long! xD" The longest chapter so far, and if I can say so, this seems to be the chapter closest to my old writing style, not to mention it seems like the best written to me - at least, with Izaya and Shizuo's final conversation. I wrote it out yesterday and read it over and over because it felt so _right_, and I can only hope you guys feel the same.

Anyway, _yay, _Mr. Bitchy Plot Convenience Antagonist made an appearance. ಠ_ಠ Just by an invisible show of hands, how many of you hate him as much as I do? xD

Thing is, Nakamura's hate-worthy with a reason behind it, considering I tried to stick to the typical minor antagonist trope we see in most one-time drrr antagonists, particularly the human traffickers who were after Rio, the American smugglers in episode 12.5, the guy who tried to kill Kasuka in episode 25, etc. etc. etc. Besides, he's stupid enough to go up against Izaya. Point is, I don't want you to like him, because I don't even like him myself, and he's hardly important. He's really just here because _angst. _

Anyway, I know this still won't satisfy a lot of you in terms of having these two trying to get their shit together, but I tried here. I want this process to be gradual, as I've probably said a million times now, but I will try and pick it up soon, maybe in the next chapter. I don't have an outline for it yet, so we'll just have to wait and see.

Finally, I hope you guys enjoyed, thanks as usual for all your support, and I'll see you in the next chapter~!


	22. Mirror, Mirror

**chapter twenty-two - mirror, mirror  
><strong>

"Shizu-chan."

"I'm not coming out."

Izaya let out a loud, irritated groan escape him as he slumped against the door separating the two, impatiently awaiting for the other man's criticism.

"Stop being so dramatic."

_You're one to talk. _Izaya sneered. "That, my dear Shizu-chan, is a flaw I can't get rid of."

Shizuo was silent. That's all he had been the past week, sometimes refusing to talk, and Izaya found it very hard to believe that there was a chance he had left the room, even when Izaya was out. The informant himself even had to be the one to check on Kasuka, who was, as predicted, not in good shape.

"He's in a comatose state," Izaya had murmured, and that was all it took to shut Shizuo up for the rest of the day. The brunette's attitude was driving him to the brink of insanity - metaphorically speaking, he hoped.

Izaya exhaled lightly, resting his head on the door and closing his eyes. "Don't go silent on me again. I understand that you feel the need to, and it's precisely this that makes me hate you."

"Great."

"It's fascinating that love could drive you to this," Izaya pressed on. "Doesn't it depress you?"

"Go away, Izaya," Shizuo grumbled, pausing a bit before saying Izaya's name, as if he was reluctant.

"I'm not leaving until you get help."

"Stubborn asshole," Shizuo muttered.

Izaya narrowed his eyes, murmuring coldly, "You're one to talk."

Shizuo didn't reply, but Izaya heard movement behind him and a moment later, to his surprise, Shizuo opened the door, leaving the informant to fall back in front of the other man's feet. Izaya was stunned for a moment, gazing up at Shizuo in his momentary shock, Shizuo returning the favor with a frown.

"You know," Izaya said, not lifting himself up just yet. "It's not really helping your case with you looking at me like that."

Shizuo looked away. "What do you expect me to look like?"

"More like you."

Izaya noticed Shizuo tense up, though the brunette actually turned to face him again. "What do you mean?"

The informant pulled himself together, standing up to face Shizuo for a moment before putting his back to him, turning down the hall. "Oh, nothing."

Shizuo frowned, following him down the hall, not budging when Izaya turned to face him, eyebrows raised. "I said it was nothing."

"It's never nothing with you."

"There can't be a one percent here, too?"

Shizuo was taken aback, clenching his fists in a feeble effort to calm himself as he turned his back to Izaya. "I'm going back to work."

"Are you sure you want to do that?"

Shizuo gazed at him over his shoulder. "Hah?"

Izaya let out a sigh. "Don't 'hah' me, Shizu-chan. I'm simply saying that I don't think it's a good idea for you to go back yet."

Shizuo frowned, not replying.

"Listen to me or don't listen to me, it's your choice, I'm just throwing my opinion out there," Izaya said flatly, adding a final bit more to himself. "And I guess I know what I was wrong about now."

"Fine," Shizuo snapped, a bit flustered when he realized it came out harsher than intended. "I'll stay."

Folding his arms, Izaya murmured, "Okay."

_I can only hope you can pull yourself back together. _

When Shizuo was out of earshot, he let out a quiet, shaky laugh. _Better than I can, at least._

* * *

><p>Izaya took to the task of visiting Kasuka in the hospital for the second time, and again, Shizuo stayed behind. The informant had snapped at him that just sitting around doing nothing wasn't going to get him anywhere, but Shizuo was still too blinded.<p>

_Honestly, did not he not get a single thing I told him? He's making me want to lose hope... _Izaya sighed as he made his way down the hospital steps, swinging around the guardrail and starting in the direction towards the train station. The wind was picking up enough to send a shiver down his spine, placing his hands in his pockets even as he aimlessly gazed ahead.

For a moment, even, Izaya thought he was going insane, believing that he had seen Shizuo beside him. He should've known it was just his imagination, however. Why would Shizuo be here, and laughing, of all things? It was foreign enough to even imagine him laughing.

Thinking on that, however, maybe it wasn't. Shizuo laughed quite a bit around him - not in the recent days, but the two certainly had their fair share. They had felt comfortable around one another, most of the time at least.

Izaya couldn't help but wonder, did he miss that? Was that all this was?

He remembered the text, the theory, that one night where everything changed.

_I'm thinking..._

"This is ridiculous," he murmured to himself, continuing down along the sidewalk. "All of this should mean nothing."

_So why doesn't it?_

He knew why. The issue was merely coming to accept the fact.

_You've pulled the final straw, Shizu-chan._

Shizuo, on the other hand, couldn't be bothered by all of this, though focusing on Kasuka was only bringing him pain.

_Well, what's a monster without a little pain?_

Both Izaya and Kasuka would say that he was being ridiculous, that it wasn't his fault, that he wasn't a monster any more.

His thoughts were overwhelming. Izaya, Kasuka, Izaya again, Kasuka again, Nakamura, America, the twins, Shinra, Celty, Izaya.

Izaya, Izaya, Izaya.

He wondered if ibuprofen would work on him.

He wondered how much longer this would last, how much more he'd be able to take before he snapped.

_Who am I kidding? I already have._

Reluctantly, he reached for his phone.

"Are you still at the hospital?"

"I suppose I can wait."

* * *

><p>"I'm sure he'd appreciate this."<p>

Alarmed, Shizuo turned to face Izaya, a bit startled considering they had not spoken for a reasonable amount of time. "I'm sure he'd appreciate you helping me out," he murmured, defeat in his eyes.

"I wouldn't say I did anything," came Izaya's reply as he kept his eyes on the comatose Kasuka. "You came around surprisingly quick."

"I wouldn't say that."

Izaya furrowed his eyebrows. "Oh?"

"I was thinking," Shizuo murmured, staring down at his hands. "What if this only the start? What if I can't control my anger any more?"

Izaya frowned. "I doubt that."

"Says you."

"Yes," Izaya said flatly. "Says me, who has somehow seen you change as a person."

Shizuo was silent.

Izaya smirked in amusement. "At a loss for words, ne? I can be nice, believe it or not."

"I know," Shizuo finally spoke, softly.

"Well," Izaya started, rising from his chair. "I should probably head back. You know, instead of waiting all day in the cold for you."

Shizuo shrugged, feeling a smile begin to tug at his lips. "Oops."

"I feel that I should be offended."

"You could have waited inside."

Izaya merely shrugged, turning his back to him as he approached the door. "It's in the past now. No use worrying," he murmured, adding more to himself, "I suppose."

_Yeah. _Shizuo watched him start to make his way down the hall. _I suppose._

"Hey, Izaya."

He stopped in his tracks, turning around to face Shizuo.

"Thanks."

_Thanks... _Izaya echoed. _Thanks for what? You have nothing to thank me for...  
><em>

He didn't bother to give Shizuo a reply, not waiting for his secretary to catch up to him as he made for the elevator, giving him a sideways glance as the brunette appeared at his side. Shizuo's eyes taunted him to respond, though he simply looked away, folding his arms and remaining silent.

Shizuo nudged him lightly.

No response.

Another nudge.

"Shizu-chan, you're acting like such a child," Izaya finally sighed, making brief eye contact.

"So aren't you," Shizuo replied. "At least I'm not the one giving the silent treatment. At least, the one who was giving it."

Izaya relaxed his arms at his sides once more. "Who says I was?"

Shizuo shrugged.

A laugh. "You really amuse me, Shizu-chan. Test failed."

The brunette cocked his head in question. "Huh?"

"It was just a little experiment, Shizu-chan. Nothing to be concerned with."

Shizuo frowned. "It's concerning enough."

Izaya cracked a small smile. "Well, it's my job as your mortal enemy to test you from time to time. I'd assume you've noticed by now."

"No, I hadn't noticed a thing. There's no way someone like you could possibly be doing something like that," Shizuo murmured, extra heavy on his sarcasm.

"Aw, how sweet."

"Have I unveiled your master plan yet?"

"Ah," Izaya smirked. "My master plan. I'd say you're pretty spot on, so I suppose I can consider this operation a success."

Shizuo let out a light chuckle, and Izaya noticed the other man's smile widen, leaving his own expression to lighten.

"Speaking of your plan," Shizuo started, catching Izaya off guard for a moment. "How is that coming along?"

Izaya frowned, hesitant. "Alright, considering."

It was then that the two realized they were still in the elevator, door closed and leaving them to ride up yet again.

"Shit," Shizuo murmured, pressing the ground floor button and waiting for them to go back down.

"This is what you get for not paying attention," Izaya chastised him, a small smile pulling at his lips once more.

"It's not like we're stuck," The brunette grumbled, stepping out as soon as the door opened, crashing straight into someone without thinking, sending them backwards.

"Ruri?"

She looked up, dazed for a moment though recognized Shizuo afterwards. "Shizuo-san."

With Izaya's words still fresh in his mind, Shizuo extended his hand to Ruri, pulling her up as she took it. "Sorry about that."

"Don't apologize," Ruri replied. "It was just an accident."

Izaya had been smirking all throughout the incident, though he felt that satisfaction vanish at Ruri's words. _Dammit, Shizuo, don't do it..._

Much to his surprise, Shizuo was calm. "Yeah, you're right."

His eyes met Izaya's then, and the informant could already tell what he was going to ask, nodding in reply.

"Hey, do you mind if I go up there with you?"

Ruri nodded, giving him a grateful smile. "No, not at all."

Shizuo smiled in return, letting Izaya slip past him before joining Ruri in the elevator, but not before he told him, "Try not to send the town into chaos while I'm here, alright?"

"Oh ye of little faith," Izaya replied, watching the elevator close before exiting the hospital doors once more.

_Hopefully she can help him keep that bit of sense._

* * *

><p>By the time Shizuo returned, Izaya sat, face down, at his desk, head resting comfortably on his arms rather than his keyboard this time.<p>

_I swear, he's always tired. _Shizuo frowned, approaching Izaya and shaking him lightly. "Izaya."

The informant made a small noise in response, though didn't lift his head.

"Izaya."

Nothing.

Despite knowing the consequences, Shizuo went and wrapped his arms around him.

Izaya stirred, lifting his head up to reveal only half-open eyes. "Shizu-chan...?"

_He's not trying to kill me? _Shizuo blinked twice in shock, replying, "I see you fell asleep again."

Izaya put his head back down. "Whatever."

"You can't just keep sleeping at your desk, flea. That, and staying up all night in the first place."

"You're not the boss around here," Izaya murmured, words muffled.

_He's definitely normal, but..._

Shizuo pulled away, folding his arms and staring at Izaya in question. He shouldn't have been _that _exhausted, unless he had been up all night and all day.

Still, Shizuo watched his chest rise and fall with his breathing, wondering if he was faking or if he actually fallen victim to sleep again.

"Are you just going to stand there all night?"

Shizuo let out a sigh. "Fucking flea."

Izaya looked up once more, managing a faint smirk as he stretched his arms backwards for a moment before frantically pulling one back. Noticing Shizuo going in to question him, he shot him a glare. "I'm fine."

"Well, why is your arm hurting all of a sudden?" Shizuo blurted, regretting it afterwards.

"Why were your arms around my waist?"

"It was just to wake you up."

Izaya raised his eyebrows. "You don't seem so sure."

"You didn't seem too bothered by it," Shizuo muttered.

"I suppose not," Izaya replied, rising from his chair and circling around Shizuo. "But how would you feel if I came up behind you," he stopped behind him. "And did just that while you were asleep?"

Arms around him now, Shizuo gazed over his shoulder to face Izaya. "I don't know."

"You don't know."

Shizuo was overwhelmed then, feeling the pressure to reply. Feeling Izaya's warmth. The abnormality of this whole ordeal. More importantly, he felt strange.

Shinra's words came back to him then, and he supposed he knew what to do. It was better than holding it off any longer, after all.

He went to say it, but a small voice in the back of his head stopped him. _Not yet._

"I know you were going to say something, Shizu-chan."

Shizuo snapped out of his momentary daze, and he knew Izaya was frowning at him. "Just go ahead and say it."

"It's nothing."

"Shizu-chan."

Shizuo broke out of Izaya's grasp, turning back to face him with narrowed eyes. "I said it's nothing."

"Why are you getting so temperamental?" Izaya crossed his arms, matching Shizuo's expression. "Honestly, you're letting all of this get to your head. It's like you're the one that hasn't been sleeping."

Shizuo turned his back to him.

"Goddammit, Shizuo," Izaya muttered bitterly, and Shizuo reluctantly turned to face him again.

"Let's just drop it," Shizuo murmured, making way towards his room, though Izaya stopped him.

"I'm only trying to help you."

_And I'm doing the same for you. _

Shizuo bit back his words, breaking away from Izaya once more and making it into his room, locking the door behind him. "Go get some sleep, Izaya."

He barely caught Izaya's parting words, eyes widening at them. "Kind of hard to when you're like this."

Once more, he was plagued by insomnia.

_He's been dropping hints for a while. Honestly, it's like he knows..._

_I wouldn't be surprised if he does. He is Izaya, after all. _

_Thing is... is the feeling mutual?_

Shizuo let out a sigh, rolling over on his side, curling up tightly in his covers. _Dammit, I need to talk to Shinra more. Or Celty. Or someone that isn't Izaya._

_I probably would've been able to tell Kasuka.  
><em>

Pulling the covers over his head, he impatiently waited for sleep to come, silence eventually filling his thoughts until the only thing he could hear was his beating heart.

_You never can leave me alone, can you Izaya?_

Eventually, he was able to close his eyes and fall asleep, only to awake once again in a dream.

As he could have expected, Izaya was there.

He didn't remember much, however, the only thing coming to him as he awoke were the words, "You're not a monster."

_You're not a monster... _

Hearing bits of conversation coming from outside, Shizuo assumed Namie had arrived, leaving him to straighten himself out and face the morning. He knew he wouldn't be able to bring anything up with Izaya, but he supposed it was better to sort everything out first. Besides, he had plenty of time. What harm could another five months do?

Shizuo let out a small sigh, unlocking his door and making his way down the hall, only to catch of a glimpse of someone with a white suit closing the door behind them. From his corner, Izaya realized Shizuo was now present, seemingly expectant for him to say something.

"Who was that?"

"Good morning to you, too," Izaya smirked, gaze indecisive between his laptop and Shizuo. "Just Shiki-san."

Shizuo simply nodded, heading for the kitchen, but not before he could bump into Namie, splattering her coffee onto her sweater, leaving the mug to fall to the floor and shatter. He gave her an apologetic look, though it soon turned into a small frown as he heard Izaya chuckling behind him.

_This is what you get for not paying attention._

"Sorry about that," Shizuo murmured, reaching over for a towel and handing it to Namie, then proceeding to pick up the shattered coffee mug.

"Don't worry about it," Namie replied nonchalantly, taking the towel before walking off towards the bathroom.

Shizuo cast a glance towards Izaya, and as usual, he was smirking at the incident.

"I didn't take you to be such a klutz, Shizu-chan."

He simply shrugged. "Guess I'll still a little tired."

"Maybe you needed that coffee instead," Izaya chuckled, getting a weak smile from Shizuo.

"You're in a good mood this morning."

Izaya shrugged in return, gazing back at his computer screen for a moment before closing it, standing up as he did so. "I suppose."

Before Shizuo could respond, his phone went off, leaving him to raise an eyebrow in question as he pulled it out.

Raira Medical Hospital.

"Kasuka?"

"Kasuka."

Shizuo slid his phone back into his pocket, heading for the door when Izaya stopped him.

"I'll come with you."

Shizuo tensed up, hesitantly replying, "Thanks."

* * *

><p>It was the first bit of relief he had gotten in a while.<p>

Kasuka was, of course, weakened still, but all that mattered was that he was alive.

"I'm just glad you're okay," Shizuo murmured, sitting at his brother's side yet again.

"I don't really remember what happened," Kasuka said softly. "But you shouldn't blame yourself for this."

Shizuo flinched, a bit surprised that he could tell. _He's always surprising me like this._

He was silent a moment longer, though he finally managed, in an almost whisper, "I'm trying not to."

"Try harder."

It was not from Kasuka, but Izaya, who had been silent since they entered Kasuka's room, sticking to the opposite side.

"Orihara-san is right," Kasuka murmured, coughing afterwards. "Even if it was your fault, it was an accident, right?"

Shizuo nodded.

"So don't blame yourself. You're too hard on yourself enough already, nii-san."

Izaya nodded in solemn agreement, and Shizuo cast him a small glare, though said nothing.

Kasuka suddenly began coughing again, it eventually turning into a full out spurt, leaving Shizuo and Izaya to exchange glances until one of the nurses arrived inside.

"My apologies, Heiwajima-san, Orihara-san, but I'm going to have to ask that you leave. You can come back tomorrow."

Shizuo nodded, standing in the doorway waiting for Izaya, giving Kasuka one last glance before turning down the hall. _Please be okay..._

"Hanging in there?"

Shizuo blinked, gazing over at Izaya, who did not turn to look at him as he spoke.

"It's killing me to see him like that," was Shizuo's reply.

"I'm sure he'll be fine," Izaya murmured. "And he was right. You are too hard on yourself sometimes."

"Isn't that what you wanted, though?"

Izaya stopped, facing him now and waiting for him to continue.

"Seems like all you wanted five months ago was to see me suffering," Shizuo held back a sigh, gaze strictly ahead as the two began walking again.

"Exactly. That was five months ago."

Izaya stopped him and grasped his arm, leaving Shizuo to glare at him until the smaller man stood up and pulled him into a brief kiss.

Everything was silent for Shizuo, save for the faint, increased beating of his heart, and for a moment, he swore he could hear Izaya's. That would've been a perfect time for a _Hey, he actually has one! _joke, but Shizuo held it back, instead kissing him back, though still reveling in slight disbelief.

"You make no sense sometimes, flea."

"I'd say I'm making perfect sense, protozoan," Izaya murmured, beginning to walk ahead once more, Shizuo following after him. "I'm going to head on home, but I have one suggestion for you."

"Which is?"

"Go look in a mirror."

Shizuo simply raised an eyebrow at him, though watched him head for the elevator, turning down towards the bathroom. _Look in a mirror? What the hell are you getting at, Izaya?_

Letting out an exasperated sigh, Shizuo pushed the door open and headed straight for a mirror.

It was then that he actually paid attention to his now brown hair, brushing it out of his eyes a bit. It had been fully back for some time now, though he hadn't really gave it any thought. It was almost surreal at this point. Brown hair to him symbolized...

Peace.

_But how...?_

He stopped, mid-thought, something else coming to his attention.

His face was red.

* * *

><p><strong>author's note~<strong>

Kissing in a hospital. Classy.

As usual, A. This chapter is way, way later than it should've been and B. It's probably confusing. Nothing new there.

I imagine it's a little rushed in some spots considering I wasn't going to stop today until I finished this. It's just been a little hard for me to focus on this, with school throwing writing projects at me back to back, plus I only just finished a collab with a friend of mine so some focus went to that, and I overall just haven't been feeling too great. I did try, though, and it took quite a bit of trial and error with this chapter (I know, stop with the title drops cx"). I can't even count how many times I had to re-evaluate the whole thing. I can only hope that things get better in the next chapter, though I still have a project to work on, and I can't tell how much time I'll need to spend on that.

Anyway, since I told one, I'm going to tell you the rest of you regarding the confusion of...pretty much everything that's going on. I can't clear anything up right now without spoiling things, so you guys are just going to have to deal with the confusion for a while longer. How much longer, I'm not entirely sure, since the halfway point of this fic is being pushed at least ten chapters forward, so that changes a few things. I'm trying to get everything in order, but I feel like it ended up working having recent events be confusing, since Shizuo and Izaya are so disoriented as of right now. I really hope you guys understand.

Also, what's this? These two are really starting to care about one another? _Le gasp_

Fluff was scrapped a good three or four times from this chapter. You're welcome~ cx"

Also, on a final note (since I forgot last time). Last chapter, we were at 10k views, and now we've gotten to 11.5k, and I wanted to thank you guys and let you know just how awesome you are for that~! It's scary imaging if I got enough input from you guys to match that, though. xD

As always, if you have something that you re loved or something that's bugging you, please let me know, and as always, thank you for reading!


	23. Two Truths and A Lie

**chapter twenty-three - two truths and a lie**

_"Go look in a mirror."  
><em>

He knew Shizuo would undoubtedly question this.

He knew Shizuo would question what exactly he meant by telling him this.

More importantly, he knew that Shizuo would recognize the red tint in his cheeks, and most likely end up feeling something in his chest, wondering why in the hell he felt that way, though he already had that answer.

Izaya didn't know the feeling of loving an individual, but he knew this much would happen, even as he turned his back to the brunette, walking off with his hands fidgeting in his pockets. His hands rested uneasily, one over his phone while the other gripped at his new switchblade, a sudden burst of anger rushing through him. He wasn't quite sure why; it couldn't be defeat, could it? Or...

Love?

He let out a low chuckle, about to turn around the corner when he heard Shizuo call his name. Reluctantly, he turned, left face to face with the other man. Carmine eyes met honey, and as they did so, Shizuo fiddled awkwardly with his bowtie, attempting to distract himself. Izaya felt a small smile tug at his lips, though forcefully curved it into a frown while Shizuo was preoccupied.

"Let's just go already," he murmured, turning on his heel and starting around the corner, listening to Shizuo's footsteps behind him. The two met in the elevator once again, gazing in opposite directions to avoid even the slightest eye contact. Izaya couldn't help but catch him out of the corner of his eye, however, noticing that Shizuo was restless.

It was kind of cute.

No, amusing.

His words were twisting. They never did this, leaving him to know then and there, it was defeat.

_I caught that. _A small whisper came from the back of his mind, leaving him to clench his fists. He noticed Shizuo's eyes on him as he did so, and knew the brunette was wanting to say something. Izaya assumed that, opposed to twisting his words, Shizuo had lost his. It was the everyday for Izaya, however, Shizuo had always had something to say - incomprehensible rambles, full-blown rants, words he forced to keep caught in his throat that Izaya knew he wanted to get out.

After all, he had only seen it for about every day - or at least, every week or so - for the past eight years of his life. He had made it routine, especially with Shizuo, to recognize his usual gestures, his speech patterns around certain people, his facial expressions, his thought process.

Shizuo could easily be read by anyone, though he had become Izaya's foil the moment he threw the first punch. He was unpredictable in his tactics, always leaving Izaya on guard, though he had simple quirks down. The way he would awkwardly scratch the back of his neck, how he stared at his hands, fumbled with his bowtie, adjusted his sunglasses, how he even failed to notice the smallest blush on his cheeks.

It had hit Izaya then, why he had felt so angry as he held onto his knife.

He was beginning to read Shizuo.

But shouldn't that be a good thing?

No, he assumed it was because it had taken all this time. All that had happened in the past five months. All these nights lying on the couch and wondering how everything would turn out, why everything was happening this way. He had become even more restless then he had already been after the first kiss.

The first kiss. _His _first kiss, and without a doubt, it had to have been Shizuo's as well.

The first person to kiss him who wasn't scared - that was true for both of them, though, being surprisingly honest, Izaya knew that it was on a far larger scale for Shizuo, having someone to not be afraid of him, even in the slightest.

Izaya could even remember his declaration the night that he and Shizuo met.

_I'm not afraid of you, Shizuo Heiwajima._

He had said it to himself with a sneer, laughing at the reaction that he had gotten from the infamous blonde the following day. His absence of fear was a hilarious concept in his eyes, and he knew just how to flaunt it off.

_"Shi-zu-chan!"_

_Off in the distance, Izaya had seen Shinra and Shizuo, barely catching Shizuo mouth the new nickname to himself afterwards, gazing up to see Izaya headed towards him, growling instantly._

_"Piss off!"_

_Once again, Shizuo threw the first punch, leaving Izaya to stumble backwards, the blonde's fist barely grazing his cheek. Shizuo let out another growl and threw another punch, though Izaya was smug as he dodged yet again._

He's such an animal.

_"Aw, come on, Shizu-chan! I didn't even do anything!" Izaya batted his eyelashes innocently, only infuriating Shizuo further._

_"Don't call me that!"_

Like a monster, even.

_Izaya's lips curved into a pout. "Why not?"_

_"Because," Shizuo grumbled, lowering his voice just as Shinra moved to grab his wrist. "That's not my name, so don't call me that."_

It was after this thought that Izaya realized, truly, why he was mad.

Somehow, some way, Shizuo had hit him.

He believed Shinra would put it as "hitting him right in the heart."

"You know, Shizu-chan," he murmured suddenly, gazing at his secretary out of the corner of his eye. "This isn't really suiting either of us right now."

Shizuo remained quiet for a moment before murmuring, "Yeah."

His expression was mixed, and Izaya couldn't tell what he was more visibly concerned with - his brother, or the informant. He was clearly pained either way.

Out of the corner of his eye, Izaya noticed Shizuo's hand dangling freely at his side, and he soon found himself conflicted.

_I suppose another test wouldn't hurt._

And so he decided, as Shizuo wasn't looking, to reach out for his hand, carefully intertwining their fingers.

Shizuo tensed up, eyes meeting Izaya's once more, now in absolute shock. "Izaya..."

He was tempted to smirk, though it did not surface.

_Damn you..._

Izaya pulled his hand away, and for the rest of the way home, he was silent.

* * *

><p>"I'm leaving you in charge of all of my client meetings."<p>

Shizuo sat across him, gaping at him, refraining from slamming his hands down on the desk. "What? Why?"

"Oh?" Izaya forced a smirk upon himself. "I thought you were oh-so willing to prove yourself as my secretary."

Shizuo muttered something that Izaya didn't catch, leaving the informant to continue.

"I have a few errands to run, that's all. I assume you can handle yourself for a while."

_I need to get away from you._

"I even have a whole file with all of the clients scheduled to visit or call."

Nothing short of surprised, Shizuo found himself adjusting his sunglasses. "Thanks."

Izaya flinched. _Why do you have to keep saying thanks to me?_

Shizuo was gazing at him expectantly as he waited for a reply, and Izaya made his decision.

"...No problem."

With that said, Izaya rose from his chair, making his way out the door without looking back, unaware of Shizuo watching him as he left.

The brunette sighed, taking a seat in Izaya's chair and reclining back in it before sitting up straight once again. Tempted, he began to swivel around, managing a small smile at the thought of Izaya doing this every day. He came to a pause, however, as the other man's words echoed fresh in his mind.

_You're such a child._

Shizuo rolled his eyes, shifting his gaze over to the computer screen. _So aren't you..._

Eying the tabs Izaya had left up, he was left to debate whether or not he would look through them, and he let out a sigh, minimizing his windows. _Screw it...why am I even thinking about that? It's something I would've done before, but..._

_"I was wondering if you would maybe be my temporary secretary?"_

Shizuo managed to laugh at the thought, thinking back to the day, and afterwards, with how determined he was to prove himself. Thinking on it, however, he realized that he had lost that. In the midst of already putting up with Izaya for the majority of the day, pressure to keep himself composed at work, and having a good laugh with Namie over Izaya from time to time, he was close to losing his goal completely.

_"I'm gonna kill that bastard! By the time I'm done with him, I swear...__"_

_He felt a tap on his shoulder, turning to see Shinra with a small frown. Flustered, Shizuo gazed around him, only to see the majority of passersby with terror in their eyes. He relaxed his fists, turning away from his friend, grumbling, "Sorry."_

_"I can't believe you already hate him this much," Shinra had said, pushing his glasses up, resulting in an eye roll from Shizuo. The blonde swore he always did that just to piss him off every time he had a point. "He didn't even do anything until you provoked him."_

_Shizuo felt as if a vein would pop in his forehead. "_I _provoked _him?_"_

_Shinra shrugged. "Well..."_

_"He was mocking me, I just know it, and I also know that he's not going to leave me alone."_

_"You could always start by leaving him alone."_

_Shizuo laughed. "Like hell I will! I'm not stopping until that louse's blood is on my hands..."_

He could only be thankful that no one was there with him as he felt his face heat up in embarrassment.

Twice in the same day; what was going on? He couldn't think of the last time he actually blushed, aside from...

_"Shizuo, I know you don't want to hear it again-"  
><em>

_Shizuo groaned. "Wonderful."_

_Shinra frowned, and Shizuo took that as his cue to remain silent. "But, I want to you to listen."_

_"Fine, I'm listening."_

_"I'm thinking that you might like Izaya."_

_He should've known it would be this again.  
><em>

_The blonde let out a low growl, instantly jumping up in protest. "I said it already, and I'll say it again; hell no!"  
><em>

_Shinra held a hand out, gesturing for Shizuo to sit back down. "Just listen, Shizuo."_

_He snorted in response._

_"As I said, it's all just speculation, but I'm thinking that your mind took the anger you already had, and it warped your initial reaction towards Izaya."_

_"I'd rather be dead than like that shitty flea!"_

_Amused, Shinra let out a light chuckle, smile not leaving his face. "See, this is what I mean. Usually when you like someone, you try your hardest to keep it a secret from them. Except for me, of course. Everyone deserves to know of Celty and I's radiant lo-"_

_It was Shizuo's turn to chuckle as Celty entered the room, catching the last bit of what Shinra was saying in time to punch him in the gut. The dullahan simply shook her helmet afterwards, trailing away before Shinra could follow after her._

_"Are you trying to say I'm a middle school girl?"_

_Shinra gave him a painful smile. "In terms of comparison, yes."_

_His friend's words had stuck with him to the following day, as he went to find Shinra only to see him, yet again, with Izaya, though this time with his sisters. He had met them once before, and they seemed like nice girls, but his intuition was getting the better of him. He saw a bit of Izaya in them, and anything dealing with Izaya...  
><em>

_He felt his fists clenching and did nothing to try and stop them, though he kept his eyes on the group._

See, Shinra? This is what I'm talking about. Every time I see that bastard, I just want to kill him! That's not love! Hell, I haven't even known him that long. You can't just say...

_"Shizu-chan!"_

_The blonde froze, turning away from the group and continuing back the way he came from, ignoring Shinra and Izaya's calls from behind him._

_His face was red, and he knew it._

He had completely forgot that even happened.

_And I recognized it then._

Letting out a small sigh, Shizuo rested his head down on the desk, closing his eyes and beginning his wait in silence.

_Izaya..._

* * *

><p>He didn't remember hearing Izaya come home that night.<p>

_He said he had a few errands to run...he should be back. _Shizuo told himself, sitting up and rubbing at his eyes. Moments later he opened his door, trudging down the hall to see a head of black hair poking out over the couch. He smiled in relief, though another head of hair caught his gaze, and he soon recognized it as Namie, lying as he had with Izaya when they shared the couch.

More importantly, the informant's chest was bare, save for bandages doused in blood.

_What the hell?_

Part of him wanted to wake the two up, full of questions for them, but he decided to walk away, knowing it would most likely be a living hell if he woke Izaya up like that. Besides, knowing Izaya, he hadn't been home long, so he certainly wouldn't have been asleep for long.

He would've burst into a small fit of chuckles at the thought of being afraid to wake Izaya up, but the thought came to him that he should probably make sure he was breathing.

That, too, was a little absurd, considering it was quite obvious Namie was the one who patched him up, but he went and placed a hand over Izaya's chest, pulling it back almost instantly. _He's freezing!_

Instead of waking up Izaya, he approached Namie, shaking her shoulder lightly. "Hey, Namie."

With no response, he shook her again.

After one final shake, Namie opened her eyes, startled to see Shizuo in front of her.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you," he told her, backing up, almost into the coffee table.

Namie sat up with a yawn, gazing over at Izaya before meeting Shizuo's eyes again, knowing what he was going to say next. "The bastard and I ran into a bit of trouble."

Shizuo frowned, waiting for her to continue.

"I'm not sure exactly what he did, but he did something to piss somebody off, as usual," she murmured, swinging her legs over Izaya's and dangling them over the edge of the couch. "I found him face down in the snow, though it turned out he wasn't unconscious and we weren't alone."

Namie gestured towards the blood stains on her sweater, and Shizuo saw the tears in her leggings. "They really attacked you too?"

She nodded. "He must have really screwed up this time."

"Seems like everyone wants him dead these days," Shizuo murmured.

Namie managed a warm smile. "You're one to talk."

He smiled in return. "So aren't you."

The two were silent for a moment, though Shizuo continued. "Why did you save him?"

"I could ask you the same question."

"I guess you could say I realized two things; that he wasn't really all that bad, and that it wouldn't make me any better of a person to leave him to die. Alone, at that," Shizuo replied, adding as an afterthought, "He's still a sick fuck, though."

Namie chuckled. "Some things never change. Though, you two have improved a lot, based on the impression he always gave me."

"I kind of miss it, you know?" Shizuo smiled in return. "At the same time, I'm glad I'm better. He wasn't too far off, calling me a monster. And he doesn't _seem _as bad these days. I kinda have my doubts with him, though, and I think he does too."

"Izaya doubting himself?" Namie raised an eyebrow, crossing her arms in thought. "I can't even imagine what kind of universe that would be like."

_Well, welcome to my new life. _Shizuo didn't reply for a while, though another thought caught his mind.

"Hey, why did you keep coming back to work for him?"

Namie seemed to be taken aback by the sudden question, though she replied. "Well, agreement aside, I guess it was because we weren't all that different. Besides, he's lonely and bored. I'm lonely and bored. Perfect partners in crime, huh?"

"Lonely and bored, huh?"

"Shut up," Namie replied, though her smile returned as she stood up. "Anyway, I should probably head back and get a change of clothes while I can. And if he asks, I didn't do shit."

Shizuo grinned. "Got it."

Namie went to open the door, however, she froze, gazing back at Shizuo.

"What?"

"Look out the window."

He did, and sure enough, he couldn't see a thing. Except for snow, that is.

"Well, shit."

"Snow, ne?"

Shizuo and Namie exchanged glances, turning to see Izaya attempting to sit up, cringing in a failed attempt to hide any signs of pain.

"Don't move, flea," Shizuo murmured, sitting down beside him, earning a glare from the informant.

Izaya realized shortly afterwards that he was shirtless, and he let out a sigh, starting to stand up when Shizuo pulled him back down. Instead of him being cold this time, however, Shizuo suddenly felt warm, though lost the feeling as Izaya spat at him. "Dammit, Shizu-chan!"

"Shit," Shizuo cursed under his breath, turning towards Izaya. "I'm s-"

Izaya had his back to him, however, as he slid his jacket on and trudged on down to Shizuo's room. "You really piss me off sometimes, you know."

He knew that was a lie.

He knew that Izaya knew it was a lie.

More importantly, he knew that Izaya trying to hide his little slip wasn't going to work.

Sighing to himself, he followed after the informant, earning a smug look from Namie as he did so, though he couldn't really be bothered.

As soon as he took a step in the room, Izaya let out a sigh, turning towards him. "Did I say you could follow me?"

"I wasn't aware I needed permission to do things in my own home."

"May as well be my home, too," Izaya murmured before slipping a shirt on. "I've lived here for the past few months, not to mention I'm the one who technically pays the bills."

When Shizuo fell silent, Izaya allowed a smirk to surface. "Nothing else to say, huh?"

Shizuo tried desperately not to know the feeling of loving an individual, and he should've known this would happen.

_Lonely and bored._

He supposed he knew that.

_Izaya doubting himself and being embarrassed?_

It was kind of cute.

Amusing.

"Now, if you're done staring at me, Shizu-chan..."

Love?

Shizuo blinked, gazing at him awkwardly. "Sorry."

As Simon would put it, it was more as if Shizuo was going through puberty, as much as he hated to put it that way. It was more of him beginning to pay attention, beginning to really think over why things were the way they were now, beginning to not let Izaya get to him.

It wasn't love, and it wasn't hate.

He supposed it would work for now.

* * *

><p><strong>author's note~<strong>

I swear, none of my chapters ever go to plan. xD This even feels like more like an interlude than an actual chapter. But hey, if you guys like it, then you like it.

I guess it was for the better, though. I know some of you want fluff (heck, even my subconscious wants fluff at this point), and I can't guarantee anything, but _maybe _next chapter? This is really just a set-up chapter, and as I've stressed, pacing is key, especially since they're still in that awkward stage. I feel like I've done a pretty bad job setting up their realizations, but I think this sets it up well enough for the next chapter to not make it entirely rushed.

Besides, they're stuck during a snowstorm.

Let the fluff commence. /waves flag

Also, while I think this chapter is a pretty poor attempt at keeping the story going, I was really feeling this chapter when I wrote the first part with Izaya. Dare I say it, but I think our little bastard is closer to his realization than Shizuo is. xD"

And I had a bit of laugh while writing this, since Shizuo and Izaya are the most in character in the flashbacks.

But I'm going to shut up now~ Because on a more positive note, I'm actually really proud of the first part of this chapter. I'm hoping that I can keep that style next chapter - and throughout the whole thing.

And somewhat off-topic, but I ordered an Izaya jacket a while back and got it today. Guess I'll have to make it custom to wear it while I write now~

Anyway, thanks for reading, and as usual, follow, favorite, review, and I'll hopefully see you soon~!


	24. Entropy

**chapter twenty-four - entropy**

Trapped inside of their apartment wasn't anything too far from ideal, more so in Izaya's favor, yet things still felt out of place.

Power out, no heat, no way to get outside - well, Shizuo supposed if he wanted to, he could try to get outside, but there was a fair bit of snow.

Besides, perhaps it was ideal in Shizuo's favor as well. It gave him some time to think, though Izaya was still around, but it at least cleared his mind somewhat.

The trio mainly sat in silence, with Izaya lying on the couch, phone in hand, Shizuo in Izaya's chair with nothing to do, and Namie left to sit at the kitchen island, sipping at her cold coffee every once and a while. They made conversation on occasion, and one could say things were almost normal.

Shizuo knew his thoughts were anything but normal, however, as his gaze fell on Izaya, who thankfully didn't notice him as his eyes were on his phone. He couldn't count how many times Shinra and Celty's words rang through his mind now, nor how many times he had to gaze at Izaya twice, having been told quite a few things recently and being able to think on all of it. This didn't just include what Shinra and Celty had said, however; he had plenty to keep in mind from Izaya.

Paying attention to detail, ideals in love, being human; he couldn't keep all his thoughts together, with them continuing to change over and over again. It took time of him just sitting around, in a daze while Izaya was most likely rambling on to him and Namie. Izaya had caught him at one point, taunting him with, "Am I boring you to death already, Shizu-chan?"

Thankfully, the informant seemed too wrapped up in whatever he was doing on his phone, most likely on the Dollars chat. Whatever he was doing, it was enough to keep him to himself, Namie to herself, and Shizuo to himself.

Shizuo didn't really feel like he was left to himself, however. His mind was a battlefield between Izaya and Kasuka, more leaning towards Izaya with the informant about six feet away from him, giving him occasional glances, but of course his thoughts were with his brother. It was enough to slowly build up to a headache, but somehow, Shizuo managed to remain calm, taking in a deep breath and focusing on Izaya instead. It would do him no good to focus on Kasuka, after all.

_But is Izaya really any better?_

Shizuo internally groaned to himself, swishing from side to side in Izaya's chair, closing his eyes as he did so, thankful for the silence of the group. He reopened them a moment later, however, gazing over to see Izaya chuckling to himself as he typed away, leaving Shizuo to roll his eyes, though more in amusement.

Their eyes met for a moment, Izaya casting him a small glare, Shizuo flinching in reply, and that was the last time they directly met that day, Izaya hardly muttering another word. Because of that, Shizuo found himself growing tired by the minute, not even bothering to have dinner, for what they could possibly have. He simply got a glass of warm milk, rubbing at his drowsy eyes and heading off to bed, only to feel Izaya shaking him what felt like minutes later.

"God, you stupid protozoan. How the hell were you able to sleep that long?"

"What are you talking about?" Shizuo blinked, vision blurry as he could just barely make out the informant beside him.

"It's the sixteenth."

"Sixteenth..." Shizuo echoed as he sat up, gazing at Izaya in question before it hit him.

"What the hell?"

Izaya sighed. "Now you get it."

He didn't know how, and it wasn't like it was the biggest worries, but he had slept for two days.

"I would've thought you were dead had I not checked your pulse," Izaya muttered, adding, more to himself, "Not that I would've cared."

Shizuo was about to retort when his ringtone sounded, leaving him to dig around in his pocket for his phone, freezing at the caller ID.

Raira Medical Hospital.

_Kasuka..._

"_Heiwajima-san?_"

Shizuo clenched his fist nervously. "Yes?"

"_I'm sorry, but your brother is dead._"

Shizuo dropped his phone, not caring to pick it up as he sat down on the couch, hearing the barely audible calls of "Heiwajima-san?" over and over again.

"Shizu-chan."

The brunette was unresponsive for a moment, leaving Izaya to repeat his name twice before he looked up.

Shizuo's eyes were sullen, and Izaya found himself startled at how quickly the other man was able to fall into this phase. It was almost sickening to see him upset.

Though, he supposed he knew how that felt.

"Is he..."

"Yeah."

Izaya was silent, and Shizuo took that as his cue to leave, not looking back once as he did so.

It was discomforting being by himself, but he could only assume Izaya understood.

_He did snap at me, after all._ Shizuo thought, putting his hands in his pockets to keep them warm. While the majority of the snow was now gone, the chill remained. _And I guess I know how he felt now._

And so the debt collector silently cursed himself as he walked, keeping his regrets tight against him, anxious to see his brother for the final time.

When he entered the hospital, Kasuka's nurse led him up to the room, small murmurs of condolences coming from her, though Shizuo could only nod his head grimly.

"H-he left a note."

Shizuo blinked in disbelief, though as she gestured towards the bedside, he noticed that sure enough, there was a note sitting on the table. Gulping, he took a step forward, unfolding the small paper, bracing himself for the note.

Stop blaming yourself. Please.

"I'm sorry," Shizuo murmured to himself as his hand curled into a fist, crinkling the paper and leaving himself alone in silence. A moment later, however, he felt a hand over his, flinching at the touch. He was about to turn around until his gaze fell down to his hand, catching the glint of two silver rings.

"You followed me."

"Thought I may as well pay my respects," Izaya murmured. "Besides, you're really unstable when you're alone. It's frightening, actually."

Shizuo let out a chuckle, though it partially came out as a small sob. "Shut up."

Izaya pulled his hand away, sliding it into his pocket. "Sorry for being concerned," he muttered dryly, turning to walk away.

"It's okay," Shizuo replied, and Izaya turned to face him, eyes solemn.

Izaya was silent for a moment, though gathered his words after a moment. "So, what are you going to do with him?"

"I don't know yet." Shizuo shrugged his shoulders. "I think I might leave it up to Ruri, or our parents."

Izaya nodded in reply, choosing to remain silent.

"I guess we should get going, then."

"Are you sure?"

Shizuo nodded, giving one last glance to Kasuka and keeping one last apology to himself as he walked out, Izaya right behind him in silence until they were almost back to their apartment.

"Shizu-chan?"

Shizuo halted, turning to face him, first noticing the raven's frown.

"_Gomennasai._"

"_Domo._"

"Do you want anything?" Izaya asked abruptly, leaving Shizuo to raise an eyebrow at him.

"I want to-"

"No."

"I didn't even finish."

"I didn't need you to," Izaya muttered, frown still present.

Shizuo sighed. "Well, I don't really feel like cooking tonight."

Izaya let out a light chuckle, smirk following afterward. "You mean you don't feel like being a housewife tonight?"

"Shut up."

"Russia Sushi it is, then!" Izaya sing-songed, starting to skip ahead when he came to a stop, clutching at his side and hissing to himself, "Dammit..."

Shizuo shook his head and tapped the informant's shoulder before walking off, leaving a frowning Izaya behind.

"You're paying."

Shizuo frowned, about to protest, though he simply let out a sigh, murmuring, "Fine."

"I was kidding," Izaya replied, losing his smirk. "Honestly, I'm not that cruel."

"I beg to differ."

"Would you like for me to put it on your tab?"

Shizuo shook his head, earning a chuckle from Izaya as the informant walked on ahead, Shizuo now trailing behind him instead.

When they reached Russia Sushi, Simon was, as expected, attempting to hand flyers out, and, as expected, he noticed the two approaching him. They managed to get through without too many questions, much to their relief, though he noticed Izaya still held a frown. Shizuo was about to ask what was wrong when the informant replaced his frown with his usual smirk, tapping his fingers on the counter, not having a care in the world regarding the murmurs and the stares in the background, or so it seemed.

Denis came by after about a minute and Izaya simply told him, "The usual," leaving Shizuo to raise an eyebrow at him, wondering if that meant fatty tuna for him, too. Izaya didn't notice that, either.

"Hey, Izaya."

The informant turned towards him in question, waiting for him to continue.

"Sorry," Shizuo murmured. "You seemed a little out of it."

Izaya shrugged indifferently. "Guess that makes two of us."

Shizuo frowned, still gazing at Izaya in question, though he had his eyes everywhere but on the brunette. Something was definitely bothering him; more than usual, at that.

"Is something wrong?"

Izaya shook his head. "I just have a lot on my mind, that's all."

Yeah, that really makes two of us.

"Not that I'm going to let it bother me, though," Izaya continued, eyes leaving Shizuo's once his fatty tuna was placed down in front of him. Shizuo rolled his eyes at first, though he found himself genuinely surprised to not see fatty tuna as his own lunch.

"How'd you know crunchy roll was my favorite?"

Izaya smirked. "An informant has his secrets."

"So I've been told," Shizuo muttered dryly, though he felt a smile tugging at his lips.

Izaya simply smirked, taking the first bite of his fatty tuna. "Just a friendly reminder."

Shizuo rolled his eyes, silent as he picked at his sushi.

"You're awfully quiet today, Shizu-chan," Izaya murmured, gazing at him out of the corner of his eye.

The brunette shrugged in response. "There's not really a lot to talk about."

Izaya snorted. "Don't make me laugh."

"Looks like I already did."

"Very funny." Izaya stuck his tongue out at him, and Shizuo did the same in return.

"Anyway, you made it seem like there's plenty of things to talk about," Shizuo murmured afterward. "Name a few."

Izaya shrugged. "You're practically begging me to be insensitive, so..."

"Fire away," Shizuo muttered. "It can't be worse than anything you've said before."

"Harsh!" Izaya's hand flew over his heart, mock hurt in his voice. "I guess I won't talk to you, then."

"Just talk."

Izaya blinked at him, hesitant at fist, though jumped right back into conversation. Sure enough, there was a bit to discuss. The unsettling disposition of Ikebukuro, general news, the snow, Christmas, family. Sure enough, Izaya was left to ramble, Shizuo merely nodding his head in response as the informant carried on.

He wondered for a moment a moment if he should shut him up or just leave him be, choosing the latter as he noticed Izaya noticing how unresponsive he was.

"Say something, Shizu-chan."

"Sorry," Shizuo murmured, scratching his head awkwardly. "Didn't feel like getting a knife to my neck for interrupting you."

"You make me sound like such a joy."

"You are," Shizuo muttered, flinching as he heard himself say it aloud. _Shit!_

Izaya let out a light chuckle, resting his arms on the counter and picking at another tray of fatty tuna. "You need to work on your sarcasm, Shizu-chan."

_He's onto me._ Shizuo said nothing in reply, gazing down at his empty tray in silence. _Should I just tell him already?_

Izaya was paying no mind to him now, as Simon was now in front of them, conversing with the informant in Russian. _Not with Simon around._ Shizuo sighed to himself. Dammit. I really am like a middle school girl. _All I'm doing is getting out of my system, though. That's it._

"Ne, Shizu-chan."

Shizuo turned to face him, waiting for him to continue.

"I forgot to ask. What do you normally do for Christmas?"

"Christmas?" Shizuo echoed, earning a small nod in reply. "Honestly, not too much. I'm not a kid anymore, and since I live by myself," he paused for a moment as he earned a glare from Izaya. "...there isn't too much to do. I just give a few small gifts out to Tom, Shinra, Celty, and Kasu..."

He stopped, eyes meeting Izaya's for a moment, and the brunette could have sworn he caught a glint of sympathy in Izaya's eyes.

"This year I'll have to get something for Vorona; Namie, too," Shizuo continued, trying to keep his mind off of Kasuka. "Maybe you, if you're lucky."

"I'll remember that," Izaya replied, sliding out of his chair and turning to Simon. "Put it on Shizu-chan's tab."

With that, the informant ran off - attempted to, at least, leaving Shizuo to yell after him, earning a mock look of disapproval from Simon as he ran off.

"IIIIIZAYAAAAAAA!"

Up ahead, Izaya's hysterical laughter could be heard, ringing out through the city for the first time in months.

It was music to his ears.

Eventually Shizuo caught up to him, though this time, no more fees for property damage were added to his tab. Izaya had allowed himself to be caught, even, just so he could smirk up at the other man and say, "And here I thought we were making progress."

"Did I throw anything?"

"I suppose not."

Shizuo smirked. "Progress."

Izaya let out a sigh and Shizuo realized he needed to release him, watching the informant stumble forward before regaining his balance.

"Honestly, I'd say this is you beginning to progress backward."

"One time only," Shizuo muttered, walking up the steps to the apartment.

When they got inside, Izaya vanished from his side, leaving him to shrug to himself and sit down on the couch, pulling his phone out and scrolling through his texts, getting quite a few regarding Kasuka. Shizuo sighed, though responded to each before slipping his phone back in his pocket. He paused, however, feeling, at first, only a light throbbing, though it was progressively getting worse.

"Damn," Shizuo muttered, putting a hand to his head, about to continue on cursing to himself when Izaya appeared around the corner, beating him to a reply.

"What are you moping about now?"

Shizuo initially cast him a small glare, though when he saw that the informant was not at all smug, he lightened up. "Just a headache. It's a pretty bad one, though."

"Need some ibuprofen?" Izaya grinned, taking a seat beside him, only for Shizuo to take advantage of that and give him a light punch.

"Shut up."

Izaya recoiled, pulling his phone out and keeping his eyes on it rather than the brunette. "At least you're back to normal."

Shizuo raised an eyebrow at this, leaning against the back of the couch and staring up at the ceiling. "What even is normal for me any more?"

"I feel like I should be offended by that," Izaya muttered, Shizuo letting out a sigh in response.

"I didn't mean it like that. I was just thinking, this is all so...strange."

"Welcome to Ikebukuro, population Dollars, psychopaths, and the surreal," Izaya replied, scooting over the arm of the couch and shifting so his legs were perched over Shizuo's. The other man looked at him in question, though Izaya simply smirked, focusing on his phone yet again.

"I didn't mean it like that, either; god, flea," Shizuo grumbled, closing his eyes. "I just...I don't know."

Izaya didn't look up. "Aw, has someone been thinking too hard again?"

No response.

"Come on, Shizu-chan, I expected some sort of comeback, miserable or not."

"See, I start talking to you and I feel like someone dropped Sunshine 60 on my head."

"That's not what I meant, protozoan."

Shizuo gave him a sheepish grin in reply, and Izaya looked up just in time for the brunette to earn an eye roll.

"So, speaking of Dollars, psychopaths, and the surreal," Shizuo dragged out, reaching over and pulling Izaya's phone out of his hands. "What's going on in Dollars?"

"You have no common courtesy, do you?" Izaya grumbled, pulling his legs back towards him and sitting right beside Shizuo once again, though he did not steal his phone back.

"Says the informant," Shizuo murmured, scrolling through the conversation.

[Bakyura: You jinxed us, Kanra.]

[Kanra: Ehhh?! What did I do this time?]

[Taro Tanaka: Bakyura was just saying how all of these strange murders are starting back up. Right after it's been quiet for a couple of months...]

[Kanra: Ah, I did make a comment about that, didn't I~ Such a shame.]

[Setton: That's terrible... I hope it all gets sorted out. I've seen enough happen in this city alone to last a lifetime!]

[Kanra: How funny of you to say that, Setton~! I personally think it would be dreary in Ikebukuro without all the drama.]

[Bakyura: You never could keep your nose out of things.]

[Kanra: Now, now, Bakyura...]

[Bakyura: Die.]

[Kanra: And there i-]

"Shizu-chan, you made me hit send before I could finish," Izaya pouted, taking his phone back finally.

[Kanra: Sorry. I meant to say, "And there it is~" My friend decided it was a good idea to steal my phone while I was typing~]

Shizuo peered over his shoulder, watching the next message pop up.

[Bakyura: You have friends?]

Shizuo let out a light chuckle at this, and Izaya nudged him over to the side as he did so. "I like this kid."

"You say that now..." Izaya murmured in amusement, and Shizuo simply blinked at him, wondering what he had said. "Nothing."

[Kanra: What, did you assume I just sit around and not talk to a single soul other than you three all day long, every single day?]

Shizuo and "Bakyura" answered simultaneously.

"Yes."

Izaya nudged Shizuo again. "Shut up, protozoan. It was a rhetorical question, and not for you, anyway."

"Whatever," Shizuo replied with a shrug, nudging him in return.

Izaya nudged him again.

Shizuo nudged him back. "I will knock you off if you decide to keep this up."

"Fine, then." Izaya stuck his tongue out at him, and when Shizuo moved to shove him off, he flicked his switchblade out, striking Shizuo right in the stomach. Just barely through his shirt, that is.

"You're so lucky..." Shizuo murmured, pulling the knife out from his shirt, which was thankfully not his usual one. "I didn't want to have to get in the mood to kill you today."

Izaya smirked. "Today?"

"Today."

"So, you would still kill me if you could?"

Shizuo let out a sigh, standing up and making his way towards his room, clutching at the back of his head as he walked. "I'll get back to you on that."

Izaya let his lips curve into a small smile as he focused on the chat once again.

[Kanra: Well, you'll be relieved to know to know that I have a friend, and hey, it's not you~]

[Kanra: Anyway, back to those murders. I'm actually a bit out of the loop on things, so would anyone be kind enough to enlighten me~?]

[Taro Tanaka: Kanra-san, out of the loop?]

[Kanra: Not you too, Taro-san! Everyone's against me these days! ´Д｀]

[Setton: Don't mind them, Kanra. There really isn't a whole lot to know, though. People are speculating all sorts of things; the yakuza, human-traffickers, some foreign organization...they even think that regular old citizens are doing the killings.]

Izaya frowned, opening up a private chat.

[Kanra: 'Regular old citizens', ne? I'm included in that list, I bet. Shizu-chan, too.]

[Setton: After your issues with the twins, yes...]

[Kanra: Is that concern I hear, Celty~?]

[Setton: I'm concerned about Shizuo.]

[Kanra: Harsh! And here I thought we were starting to become friends.]

[Setton: You can't just ignore what you've gotten him into, Izaya. I honestly think you're missing the bigger picture here...]

Izaya raised his eyebrows, typing up a quick response.

[Kanra: You've told me what I need to know. Sayonara, courier-san.]

With that, he left one final message in the main chat, turning his phone off and tossing it to the side, closing his eyes and finding him slipping off into sleep.

He didn't suppose that sleep lasted long, however, feeling as if he had woken up only an hour later, more importantly as if he couldn't move. His side was burning, leaving him to bare his teeth at the pain, steadily sitting up.

"Really shouldn't have fallen asleep on the couch," Izaya murmured to himself, resisting the urge to put a hand to his side. Gazing around the room, he noticed Shizuo's absence, thanking the god he didn't believe in for that. _I've already screwed up enough. _

After a few attempts of getting himself to stand up, the informant successfully made his way over to his desk, turning his laptop on and tapping his fingers impatiently, eyes scanning the room as he waited. After a moment he got himself to stop, focusing on his screen, jumping right into his research. He wasn't going to waste another second trying to figure out what was going based on vague knowledge - it was time to find out for himself.

Much to his dismay, Shizuo awoke about two hours later, leaving him to briskly close his tabs before the brunette could venture over and see what he was doing. _We're both involved, but it's not time yet..._

"Morning."

"Good morning, Shizu-chan."

Shizuo gave him a slight glare at the use of his nickname, rubbing at his eyes drowsily, saying nothing in response.

"How's your headache?"

Shizuo shrugged, wandering off into the kitchen. "Gone now."

Izaya managed a feeble smirk. "It still amazes me that you're able to get headaches."

"You try being in this position," Shizuo snapped, leaving Izaya to raise his eyebrows at him.

"I deal with a headache every day."

As he poured a glass of milk, Shizuo murmured something incomprehensible, keeping his eyes off the informant. Izaya shrugged to himself, logging into the Dollars chat, only a message saying that no one was online.

"I guess this would be a bad time to ask if you can run some errands for me."

Shizuo was unresponsive for a moment, though he turned towards Izaya reluctantly. "What kind of errands?"

"A grocery run, plus I have a few things that need to be dropped off."

"Sure."

Izaya smirked, waiting until Shizuo walked by to hand him a stack of files, earning a glare in response.

"A few things, huh."

The informant pulled his wallet out of his pocket, handing it to him. "I'll pay for everything."

"Deal." Shizuo took the wallet, sliding it in his pocket and heading towards the door, halfway out when Izaya called to him.

"Oh, and Shizu-chan?"

"Yeah?"

"You don't have to go now."

* * *

><p>It was well into the afternoon when Shizuo headed out, making his way back towards his apartment, swinging bags at his side, already hearing Izaya's complaints about him being careless with the fatty tuna.<p>

_"You incompetent protozoan! It's all smushed now!"_

Shizuo snorted to himself, about to carry on without a care until he caught a glimpse of an all too familiar helmet. Gazing out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Celty leaning against her bike, and with a small smile, he approached her. The dullahan lifted her head up as he did so, giving him a small wave in greeting.

"Yo. Mind if we talk for a bit?"

[No, not at all.]

Shizuo gave her a small nod, sitting down beside her and sitting his bags down at his side.

[So, what have you been up to?] Celty asked after a bit of silence between the two, and Shizuo noticed that she was probably trying to avoid blatantly asking about Izaya.

"Not much, especially thanks to that damn snowstorm," he murmured in reply. "I'm taking another break from work, so there's not really a whole lot for me to do right now."

Celty nodded her helmet. [I heard about Kasuka. I'm sorry.]

Shizuo shrugged. "S'alright. It's not like it's your fault."

[Are you okay?]

Shizuo went silent, staring down at his hands solemnly. "I wouldn't say I've been okay in a while."

Celty seemed a bit flustered, rubbing at her helmet before typing again. [Sorry, that was rather insensitive of me. I just know how you get sometimes. I didn't want you to think that you had to keep it to yourself.]

The brunette looked up after a moment, managing a feeble smile. "Thanks, Celty."

[Any time.]

"So, what have you been up to?"

Celty shrugged. [Not a lot. I'm actually waiting for Shinra right now. He should be here soon.]

"Celty, you're not cheating on me with Shizuo, are you?!"

Shizuo stifled a small chuckle, gazing up ahead to see Shinra running towards the two. "Speak of the idiot, and here he is."

Shinra eventually stopped in front of the two, turning towards Celty, who waved her hand in dismissal towards him.

"_Celty!_"

The dullahan tapped away on her PDA, showing it to Shinra before he sat down beside Shizuo, careful not to set on the other man's bags.

"Fatty tuna?" Shinra raised an eyebrow in amusement, and Shizuo let out a sigh.

"You know Izaya."

Shinra was silent for a moment, and Shizuo went to grab his stuff, standing up. "Well, I should probably go. Don't want to bother you two." He was surprised for a moment, however, when he felt Celty's hand grasp his.

[We don't mind.]

"What if I minded?" Shinra murmured, earning a punch in the gut from Celty. "I was kidding! You know that...right, Shizuo?"

"I would hope so," Shizuo chuckled. "Anyway, thanks guys."

"No problem."

Celty gave him one last wave as he started walking away, though he stopped as his phone beeped. Pulling it out of his pocket, he was met with no name on his screen, only "Unknown Number." He was hesitant, though opened the text.

A moment later, he almost dropped his phone, aside from that, he almost snapped it in half as he read the message.

[Kill Izaya Orihara.]

* * *

><p><strong>author's note~<strong>

Whew, finished this just in time. Sorry it took this long again, though. xc It took me a while to get ideas and inspiration again, _but _I already have the next two chapters planned out, so I should be able to get them out relatively quickly. Plus, winter break starts for me soon, so I'll have a while to focus.

I did start writing a little Christmas special for you guys, but at this rate, I highly doubt it'll be finished in time. May as well try, though. It might be only one idea out of thirty that I'll be able to get out, but it'll be one less that's constantly bugging me. xD Speaking of which, I don't know how many of you actually check my profile frequently, but I do want to try and get some one-shots out next month in honor of season two. And speaking of season two, we finally got a set release date of January 10th! Guess who's hyped~? ^3^ Back to the one-shots though, I'm still debating on which ideas to use, since a lot of them are non-Shizaya, but I feel like this fandom could use a bit of that right now. I need a break from torturing these two, too~ cx

Anyway, the plot is beginning to thicken~! Finally! xD I'm still tweaking it, though, but considering I have a 70% clear idea of what I want for the next two chapters, I think we'll have a good set-up. This chapter is probably a little rushed (really just the beginning, but still), but I couldn't just skip past the snowstorm (sadly). I'd like to be able to promise better development in the next couple of chapters. And I know there's a bit of a plot hole here, and it's probably as confusing as always. With the plot starting to come more into light, I'll hopefully be able to make this all make sense. I'm sorry it's taking this long, but as I've said a thousand times, I don't want you guys to be able to guess the whole entire story. ;-; It wouldn't be as fun that way. But that aside, honestly, I would've left the snowstorm bit out, but there really wasn't any changing that. I'm really hoping the next two chapters make up for this, but hey, there's always the rewrite...~ /holds up shield

And a few side notes, just so I don't forget, since I know there will be questions. xD" The little exchange of "I'm sorry" and "Thanks" in Japanese are them speaking in English. Since it's a one time thing and not whole chapters full like during the America subplot, I decided to put it in Japanese since, while I mainly hear them speaking in English, they would be speaking Japanese. Of course it's things like this that I forget to clarify back when they're really necessary. Since I didn't say anything earlier, they've "technically" been speaking in English this whole time. Tsk tsk. Again, there's always the rewrite... /shot

I'm going to shut up now, so please, let me know what you think, and I'll see you guys soon~!


	25. Our Little Secret

**chapter twenty-five - our little secret  
><strong>

"Kill Izaya...?"

The words felt so foreign as he whispered to himself, despite having had a discussion about not killing him "today." It was eerie enough to leave him frozen, though only for a moment when someone bumped into him, meeting eyes filled with fear. The girl gave a hurried apology before running off, leaving Shizuo to keep those three words to himself as he continued on home.

It took a bit of thought for him to remember, but the conversation in the chatroom struck him then, leaving him just a little bit curious. Random civilian murders was one thing, considering they hadn't done anything, but what if Izaya had actually provoked them?

_I wouldn't be surprised._ Shizuo frowned as he reached his apartment, staring at it for a good moment before heading inside. _For being a smartass he can be pretty stupid sometimes. _

_Or maybe I'm the stupid one._

"I'm back, if you care to know," Shizuo called, setting his bags down on the counter and pulling Izaya's ootoro out, waiting for a response. There was none. "Flea, if you're not dead, you could answer."

A feeble chuckle came from around the corner as Izaya appeared, not even giving a glance towards the other man as he went for his fatty tuna. "Nice to see you care about my well-being, Shizu-chan."

With a "tch", Shizuo put away everything else he had bought before heading over towards the couch, only to stop when he saw Izaya back at work. Hesitantly, he made his way over to Izaya's desk.

"So," Shizuo drawled, peering over Izaya's shoulder, thankful that the informant didn't turn to see him aghast. "You're finally looking into those murders?"

"Finally, ne?" Izaya replied, almost in a deadpan. "I don't know what impression you've been given of me."

Shizuo gave him a light shrug, skimming over what was on the screen instead of responding, the text stealing all of his thoughts. _Well, I've gotten the impression that a lot of people want you dead._

"So interested you can ignore me," Izaya murmured. "Thanks, Shizu-chan."

"Of course I'm interested. This is in the one percent of violent crap not caused by you."

"Touche."

"You sound disappointed."

Shizuo noticed Izaya stiffen, though the raven still spoke. "You would be, too."

"Guess it's a good thing I didn't end up like you, then." Shizuo gave him a nervous grin, though Izaya didn't respond at first.

"Shizu-chan, I'd very much appreciate it if you stopped peering over my shoulder."

Dazed, Shizuo didn't pay attention to Izaya's statement at first, though snapped out of it after reading through as much as he could. With a quiet apology, he pulled back, though didn't leave Izaya's side then. As he expected, that earned a glare from the informant before he resumed his work.

"Someone's cranky." Shizuo rolled his eyes in response as he spoke, more to himself, though just enough to get Izaya talking again.

"Shizu-chan." Izaya's reply came through clenched teeth, and Shizuo knew then to make his way around the desk, not turning his back towards the other man. He did, however, murmur something before leaving the room.

"Something's wrong."

"Everything's wrong."

Shizuo was hesitant. "Everything?"

Izaya nodded, closing his laptop and keeping his eyes right on Shizuo, as much as he seemed to be forcing himself to do so. "Stop telling yourself that everything's fine, Shizu-chan. I know that's what you're doing."

Shizuo simply gaped at him, though he supposed he should have seen it coming. Izaya was right that it wasn't just something; he had plenty to bother him. It was enough to give him a headache on any normal day, but he supposed his days had been anything but "normal" recently.

"I thought it would be better to try and not worry, that's all," Shizuo replied, looking him right back in the eyes. "It's helping me keep my sanity, at least."

"Interesting, coming from you," was all Izaya said.

"Likewise."

Izaya raised his eyebrows, though said nothing, signaling for Shizuo to take his leave. Sure enough, he did just that, not giving the informant another glance before settling down in his room.

It was still too early to sleep, yet Shizuo wished he could actually do so, as he was left to curl up with his thoughts to himself. It was nothing new, but it was bothersome, and too much of a reminder of what things had been like before. Izaya had always been there, taunting him to no end, even when the flea wasn't physically in his presence. Any mention or reminder of him would set him off, no matter what the situation.

Here he went again.

His headache was back, and all he could do was just wait for sleep to find him and shut him up.

* * *

><p>"Kasuka!"<p>

As much as he had wanted it to be, sleep had been anything but helpful. All he could see was Kasuka's death, Kasuka never forgiving him, Kasuka...

Again, his relief would not come.

"Flea, what the hell are you doing in here?"

Izaya, who had already turned to face him after his sudden outburst, cast him a small frown as he closed the closet door. "I just came in here for a change of clothes. Honestly, Shizu-chan..."

Shizuo mirrored his frown as he got up off the bed, Izaya taking it as his signal to leave. Instead of pouting and turning away, Shizuo watched him leave, frown still in tact, though not just for the other man witnessing him post-nightmare.

_I have to kill you._

_I'm pissed off enough to do it, but...  
><em>

_Can I?_

He didn't want another man's blood on his hands. Especially not someone who was already injured - though in Izaya's case, not defenseless, that was for sure - and especially not someone he supposed he could call a friend now.

_I can call him that, right? We get along, for the most part. That, and he's always there. Literally. He's not that much of a bastard any more, too, I guess._

Shizuo let out a small sigh to himself, though he managed a faint smile. _Damn. I'm going insane._

After a moment of thought, he finally made his way outside only to see Izaya back at work, per usual.

"You can't stay away from this, can you?"

"If something's going on in this city, I have to know, simple as that," Izaya murmured in reply, hesitantly looking up from his computer.

"In other words, you have to be involved."

"Wonderful, the protozoan knows something."

Shizuo rolled his eyes, making his way over to Izaya and pulling up a chair beside him, earning a glare from the informant. "What? Do you have a problem with me being involved?"

Izaya inched his chair over. "Says the one who hates violence."

Shizuo went silent, simply keeping his eyes on Izaya's screen, skimming over to see if he had anything new.

"Speaking of which," Izaya started, though Shizuo didn't face him. "When are you going back to work? I'd say you've had enough recovery time."

"I don't know yet."

"It's doing you no good to be cooped up inside the house all day," Izaya murmured, nudging him aside lightly in order to get to his keyboard.

"You care?"

Izaya was silent for a moment, though he came up with a response not long after. "Though, I suppose it would be convenient to have a secretary around."

"What about Namie?"

Izaya chuckled. "She couldn't care less."

"Guess I'll have to keep that in mind to tell her." Shizuo smirked.

"Guess I'll have to keep that in mind next time I pay you - if you're lucky enough to get paid."

Shizuo's smirk faded into a frown, earning a triumphant gaze from Izaya. "Good protozoan."

"I'm not a dog," Shizuo grumbled, taking control of the keyboard and scrolling down.

Izaya cast him a small glare though didn't fight back, instead pulling his phone out of his pocket, murmuring to himself, "Ah, right."

"What?"

"I have a client meeting."

Shizuo flinched. "Already?"

Izaya narrowed his eyes slightly. "Is there a problem?"

Shizuo merely shook his head, shifting in his seat. _Dammit...why am I worrying so much?_

"Good," Izaya murmured, standing up. "Hopefully you and Namie can keep everything under control."

"We might set all of your stuff on fire."

"And you can replace all of it."

The two cast one another small smirks before Izaya headed out the door, leaving Shizuo in silence for the few minutes until Namie arrived.

"Izaya's not here?"

She said it cautiously just in case, but Shizuo could hear the smile in her voice. "Client meeting."

"Ah," Namie replied, making her way over to him, smirking at the sight of Shizuo in front of the laptop instead of Izaya. "You're using his computer and you're still alive?"

"Somehow."

Namie took a seat in Izaya's vacant chair, scooting beside Shizuo to see what he was looking at. "Murders, huh?"

Shizuo nodded. "Yeah. They look like they're just as random as the Slasher attacks, but judging by all this," he paused, clicking through all of Izaya's tabs. "He thinks it's something a lot more concise. I can't say I blame him, either."

"And why's that?"

Shizuo was hesitant for a moment, though he took in a light breath and responded. "I got a text yesterday telling me to kill him. That added onto all the random shit that's been going on the past couple of months just shows there's something going on, and I bet he's indirectly responsible."

Namie raised an eyebrow. "Indirectly...?"

"Indirectly or directly. It depends on how good of a liar he is."

Namie was still skeptical. "I'm not following you here. How would he not be responsible?"

"It's probably a stupid thought, but I think I've managed to earn his trust, and that's making him slightly vulnerable."

"Only slightly."

Shizuo nodded. "Only slightly. I know that something's bothering him, but it's obviously not enough to crack him yet."

"So, Izaya two-point-o," Namie started with a smirk. "Have you figured out what's bothering him?"

"Not exactly."

It was partially a lie, considering Izaya had blatantly said Shizuo was bothering him, but it partially wasn't, considering there had to be something else. _Unless I really piss him off that much._

Namie nodded, making it her turn to skim over everything Izaya had found. "Well, I'd say you've figured out enough for now."

"Yeah." _I still feel like I'm missing something, though.  
><em>

* * *

><p>This was the new normal for the three, at least for the remainder of the week and into the next. Shizuo and Namie kept their discussion to themselves, Shizuo kept a close eye on Izaya, Izaya tried to dig up as much information as he could, per usual, and usual banters ensued.<p>

With all of this going on, however, Shizuo had barely gotten a break, and he realized he was starting to get headaches a little more frequently. He could only be thankful when Izaya sent him out for another grocery run.

He could also be thankful that he ran into Celty.

[Oh, Shizuo, hi!]

"Hey."

[Everything okay? You seem a little off.]

Shizuo shrugged. "You know those random murders that have been going on?"

She nodded.

"Izaya's been trying to figure out what's going on and I got stuck in the middle of it. That, and Kasuka's funeral is soon. I'm just a little stressed out with everything, that's all."

[Don't stress yourself out, Shizuo.] Celty typed, placing a hand on his shoulder as she showed him her PDA. [Just think; Christmas is soon. Why don't you try focusing on that?]

"Christmas...?" Shizuo blinked, the date hitting him a moment later. "Damn, I almost forgot. Thanks, Celty."

The dullahan pulled her hand away, typing away again and Shizuo could hear the smile in her words. [Anytime.]

"Speaking of which, are you and Shinra doing anything special this year?"

[We're actually having a small Christmas party tomorrow. I was actually going to text you about it later.]

Shizuo nodded. "Alright. I'll try to make it."

[Alright. Sounds like Izaya needs a little break, too.]

"You'd be okay with that?"

Celty shrugged. [If you can get along with him, then...]

Shizuo managed a small smile. "Yeah, you have a point. Guess I'll see you tomorrow, then."

[See you.]

With that said, Shizuo waved and hurried off, now flooded with thoughts about the next day and, of course, Christmas. He had completely forgotten with everything going on, and he didn't even know what to get for anyone this year. _Damn, I'm just all out of sorts..._

He didn't even bother to stop at any stores after getting what he needed, he simply went back home, surprised to not see Izaya at his desk. After looking over the room for a moment, he saw the informant's hair poking out on the edge of the couch, leaving him to chuckle to himself. "Exhausted?"

"I'm taking a little break, that's all," Izaya murmured, catching him off guard.

"If you say so," Shizuo replied, sitting at the other man's feet. "Did Namie leave?"

Izaya nodded. "I sent her home. Thought I'd be generous, considering tomorrow's Christmas Eve."

"That's new."

"Don't push it, brute."

"Hey, speaking of which," Shizuo started, leaving Izaya to sit up and face him. "You asked what I normally do for Christmas, but you never told me what you do."

Izaya shrugged. "I've never really been a big Christmas person, but the twins usually insisted on seeing me."

"Oh." Shizuo nodded.

"I was thinking about treating you and Namie to dinner, though, if she's not too busy lusting after her brother."

Shizuo managed a faint smile. "Really?"

"What did I say about not pushing it?"

"Sorry," Shizuo said with a chuckle. "Really, though, I appreciate it."

For a moment, Shizuo could have sworn he saw Izaya smile.

* * *

><p>"Just as I thought."<p>

"What?"

"Namie's busy," Izaya replied, making air quotes as he spoke.

Shizuo rolled his eyes, though smiled in reply. "You have no faith in her."

"Should I?"

"Stupid flea," Shizuo murmured, nudging him lightly as he walked past. "I guess it's just you and me again, then."

Izaya cast him a small glare, sliding his phone back into his pocket. "I suppose so."

"So where exactly are we going?"

"So impatient," Izaya murmured, taking the first step outside and waiting for Shizuo to meet him at the bottom of the steps. "You'll see when we get there."

"Why does it have to be a surprise?"

"Because you're a protozoan."

Shizuo let out a light sigh, murmuring more to himself, "You have the weirdest logic."

"I'd say it's pretty fair, considering you haven't grown out of your habit of calling me 'flea'."

Beside him, Shizuo was silent for a moment before muttering, "Shut up."

Izaya smirked. "I'm starting to think that's the only comeback you have."

"Didn't I tell you to shut up?"

"You think that would stop me?"

Shizuo put a hand to his face in slight agitation, earning a light chuckle from Izaya as the two continued down the street. "Lighten up, Shizu-chan."

"Kinda hard to with you around."

"Guess we're heading back home then," Izaya taunted, earning a glare from the brunette beside him.

"I'll pay, if it'll get you to shut up."

"I'll keep that in mind."

Another groan from Shizuo and Izaya quickened his pace, not looking back except to stick his tongue out at him, earning a middle finger in return.

A few minutes later and they arrived at their destination, Shizuo a little bit surprised to see where they were standing. "Lotteria?"

Izaya nodded, though let Shizuo continue.

"I thought for sure you were just screwing with me and it was going to be Russia Sushi."

"Who has little faith now?" Izaya countered with a smirk. "It's nothing fancy, but it was a change. For me, at least."

Shizuo smiled. "Thanks."

"Don't thank me if you're the one paying."

Shizuo sighed at the reminder, though he still stepped inside, Izaya right behind him, and the two went to get a table, though not without a few stares.

Well, maybe more than a few.

"God, do they have nothing better to do?" Shizuo muttered after a while, twirling a straw around in his milkshake.

"I would've thought you'd be used to it by now," Izaya replied in amusement, flashing him a small smirk across the table.

Shizuo returned it as a small frown. "I'm usually too busy trying to kick your ass to notice."

"Trying," Izaya echoed, gaze flickering down to his food instead.

"Don't start."

"Ooh, that's a new one. Did I get some sense into you?"

Shizuo sighed, not replying at first.

For all the conversation was worth, it was still somewhat relaxing, even if most of it was their usual banter. That's what made it seem more natural, Shizuo supposed. That, and even though they hadn't changed that fact, the atmosphere was less tense, almost like it was a fresh breath of air for the two of them.

It was nice.

Shizuo could focus on the informant, but he wouldn't get a headache in the process. He could laugh and smile like it was Shinra or Celty he was talking to, and for the first time in a while, Izaya had done the same.

_Maybe it's just that apartment that does the damage. _Shizuo thought, though had an afterthought of how ridiculous that probably was. Still, he couldn't help but feel like it was true in some ways.

Izaya was dazing off on him now after going into another usual ramble, and Shizuo paid mind to every word, every movement, the way he smiled.

_I really am turning into that flea._

"Hey, earth to Izaya."

Izaya blinked, giving himself a moment to adjust and focus on Shizuo once more. "Sorry. Guess I'm just getting a little tired, since someone decided to interrupt my nap yesterday."

"You could've slept last night, you know."

Izaya merely shrugged, getting up out of his seat. Shizuo did the same, and the two started on back home, only to be met with a little surprise.

"What the hell?" Shizuo gaped, turning towards Izaya. "You didn't..."

"Idiot. Why would I do that?"

Right above the doorway was, just their luck, mistletoe.

"Very funny," Izaya muttered, gazing back at Shizuo, the two murmuring the same name in agreement.

"Namie."

Both were silent for some time until Izaya regained his smirk. "Guess we can't go breaking the tradition, ne, Shizu-chan?"

"Who says we have to do it? It's not like-"

Before he could finish, Izaya stood on his toes, pulling Shizuo's head down slightly and planting a quick kiss on his lips.

Shizuo stared at him blankly for a moment, earning a laugh from the informant. "Why are you so shocked? Did you think I was going to-"

Shizuo suddenly leaned in and kissed him in return, smirking against his lips as Izaya squirmed to pull away, though he held it longer than the first kiss.

"Shizu-chan..."

"What?" Shizuo grinned. "Karma's a bitch."

"You're a bitch," Izaya grumbled, taking a step back and pulling his phone back, only to get a glance at the time.

One minute after midnight.

"Merry Christmas, protozoan."

"Merry Christmas, flea."

* * *

><p><strong>author's note~<strong>

If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go hide in a corner because this is the latest chapter yet~

I hope you guys are happy with the ending though. ;-; It's three days late, but hey, late Merry Christmas to those of you that celebrate! I really wanted to get this out on Friday, but I really wasn't feeling this chapter, even though I said I was last time. But, I woke up to some amazing reviews this morning and they brought a smile to my face and my inspiration back. Since I can't reply to you directly, thank you so much, Timothy, for your reviews on both my fics. ^^ They really made my day. Also, since I forgot last chapter (really sorry about that! ;w;) a huge thank you and you're welcome to Zevv for your review as well. It always makes me happy knowing that you guys really like my work, and I'm striving to make it even better for you all.

Again, I'm really sorry this is late. ;w; I don't think I rushed any parts like I did last chapter, so hopefully you guys think it turned out okay. Next chapter will hopefully have something even better for you all, so I'd look forward to that.

And since I doubt the next chapter will be out before the new year, I just wanted to share some quick resolutions with you all. This year, I'm making it my goal to focus a lot more on my writing and improving it, and not try to worry as much about getting chapters out late. I've found that I'm getting really, really attached to my several plot bunnies, and I discovered the amazing otpprompts blog over on Tumblr, which has been giving me even more ideas. I'm thinking about using these as practice to perfect my writing for both this fic and future reference, especially in terms of getting these two more in character. I also want to try and communicate with you guys more. I've been slacking on responding to reviews and PMs simply because I don't want to leave you guys with a simple thank you. I want you all to know truly how grateful I am to have followers like you, and I'd love to be able to talk to you all more. I do have an Instagram account where I post stupid things about the fic sometimes (though my whole account is a mess cx) so maybe I could make a strictly fanfiction one? I feel like that would be a pretty cool way to talk to you guys - easier, too. It would definitely help with all these author notes. xD I don't know. It's probably a really stupid idea, but hey. cx And for a final resolution, shorter author notes! xD

As usual, thank you all for your support! Favorite, follow, and review if you want, and I'll see you next year~!

(but on a final note, can we talk about how durarara x2 is literally less than two weeks away now)


	26. Let The Games Begin

**chapter twenty-six - let the games begin  
><strong>

"Shizu-chan, I'd stop glaring at me if I were you. Your face will end up getting stuck like that."

Shizuo sighed. "I could say the same for you about that damn smirk of yours."

"So profane," Izaya purred, earning an eye roll from the brunette across the counter.

_At least he's back to normal. _Shizuo managed a faint smile at the thought, even though it only had a night to form. Still, it was nice knowing that the informant hadn't over exhausted himself, even if he only made the improvement of collapsing on the couch rather than his keyboard.

"Eh, you're smiling now?" Izaya raised his eyebrows in question. "Honestly, Shizu-chan."

"Sorry, does it bother you?" Shizuo's smile curved into a smirk, earning a glare from Izaya.

"Yes, it does." The other man held out a hand in front of Shizuo's face, turning away as he did so. "You're still as unpredictable as ever, I see."

Shizuo shrugged, nudging his hand out of his face. "Seems like it."

The brunette half expected Izaya to pull his hand away instantly at the touch, though Izaya pulled away slowly, still casting him a small glare before going off on his usual monologue. Shizuo had convinced him - how, he didn't know - to take a break today, with it being Christmas, not that would stop him. He couldn't help but laugh at the fact that the informant might have burst without talking about _something _related to these murders, though he supposed he had to agree with that. It was slowly killing him not knowing who the sender of the note was, and what exactly Izaya's relation to these murders was. It certainly wasn't helping having Namie's tease of "Izaya two-point-o" practically hardwired in his brain now. Still, Shizuo kept his mouth shut and his accusations to himself for the day, calling for a much needed break.

"You aren't even listening, are you?" Izaya's words finally got Shizuo out of his train of thought, leaving the two to stare at each other for a moment before Shizuo replied with a shake of his head. "Thought so," The informant continued, crossing his arms and beginning to pace around the kitchen, leaving a scowling Shizuo.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm bored," Izaya murmured, continuing on with his pacing. "It's killing me having to live by your standards."

"I never said you had to."

Izaya gave him a small shrug. "Eh. A break's needed."

_You can say that again. _

"Ne, Shizu-chan, did you come up with any plans for today?" Izaya asked, his smirk following with it. "Is that why you didn't want me doing anything?"

Shizuo grimaced, punching him lightly the next time he came around.

"I'll take that as a yes, then."

"Some days I really want to break your neck," Shizuo grumbled, taking his leave from the kitchen with Izaya right behind him. As he took a seat on the couch, Izaya still remained, resting his arms on the top of the couch and his head in his arms, gazing over at Shizuo. "Can I help you?" The brunette finally asked, cocking an eyebrow in question, though slightly amused by it.

"Someone's awfully aggressive today," Izaya murmured, poking Shizuo's shoulder. "Care to tell me why?"

Shizuo rolled his eyes. "It's nothing, really."

Izaya raised his eyebrows in return, saying nothing as he put his head down in his arms. Before he did so, however, Shizuo caught a glimpse of what actually looked to be concern in his carmine eyes. He supposed then that maybe he understood how the informant felt now, not knowing how to read him.

"Izaya?"

The raven stirred. "Yes?"

Shizuo gave it a second thought, and decided to be silent. "Never mind." _You probably know already. Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if you have cameras in here, bastard..._

"Not trying to ruin the mood, ne?"

Shizuo let out an exasperated sigh. "You have no filter, do you?"

Izaya sat back up, giving a light shrug. "It could always be worse."

"I guess," Shizuo murmured half-heartedly.

"Don't sound so excited," Izaya managed a faint smile. "What happened to having a break?"

"Shut up, flea."

"Shut up, protozoan," Izaya mimicked, casting Shizuo a small glare in return as his feeble smirk returned, earning a bemused look from the brunette.

"You're really taking this seriously."

The informant shrugged. "We have to lighten the atmosphere somehow."

A smile appeared on Shizuo's face a moment later and Izaya turned away at the sight, murmuring, "Don't get any ideas, Shizu-chan."

"You're one to talk."

"So, what exactly are we doing today? This is rather boring." Izaya arms fell to his side once again as he made his way over towards his desk, though he didn't sit down.

Shizuo turned his head slightly to look back up at him, managing a faint smirk at his blatant discomfort. "I never said you couldn't check Dollars."

Izaya's face lit up, though only momentarily as realized Shizuo was still looking at him, leaving both men to scoff at one another. Still, Izaya pulled his phone out, tapping away to get to the chat room.

"So what are you doing then, Shizu-chan?" The informant inquired as Shizuo appeared at his side.

The brunette shrugged. "Well, we didn't go to Celty and Shinra's like I promised, so I thought about going over there if they aren't busy."

"Third-wheeling, then?"

"Fourth-wheeling," Shizuo corrected. "I'm dragging your ass down there since it's your fault we didn't go."

"Technically, it was Namie's fault."

"Technically you're the one who kissed me."

"Technically you're the one who kissed me first."

Shizuo was unresponsive at first, though deadpanned, "That has nothing to do with this."

Izaya smirked. "Well..."

Frowning, Shizuo placed a hand over his mouth, leaving Izaya to struggle to move the debt collector's arm, failing in the process. Cursing to himself, Izaya muttered, "Shizu-chan, pull your hand away _now,_" though it came out extremely muffled, earning a small smirk from Shizuo.

"Sorry, I don't speak flea," was his response, leaving Izaya to kick him - hard.

"Dammit!" Shizuo spat, pulling his hand away as his knees gave way, Izaya smirking above him at his accomplishment.

"I finally found Shizuo Heiwajima's weakness. Who knew," Izaya mused, turning his back to him. "It didn't work the last time, but I guess it can work from time to time."

Shizuo was on his feet again afterwards, glaring, though the informant couldn't see him. "You had to try again, didn't you?"

"Essentially, yes." Izaya turned to face him yet again and upon seeing Shizuo's face, cut him off before he could make any argument. "So, are we heading over to Shinra's or not?"

"Unlike you, I don't actually barge into people's houses," Shizuo replied, making his way back over to the coffee table to grab his phone.

Izaya snorted. "I beg to differ."

"That's different. Besides, it's mainly Tom that does the barging, believe it or not."

"Who would've thought," Izaya murmured, gazing over at Shizuo, though the brunette was most likely blocking him out as he texted Celty. "Tom over you and your little kouhai. Ne, you're going back to work next week, aren't you?"

Shizuo hesitantly looked up. "Depends on when Kasuka's funeral is."

"Ah, right."

"I can't tell if you want to get rid of me or not at this point." Shizuo managed a faint smile, though Izaya didn't return the gesture. "Anyway, Celty said we can go over."

Izaya nodded, making his way towards the door with Shizuo in pursuit, leaving the two to walk alongside one another, partially in silence. Izaya would crack a small joke, Shizuo would either try to counter it or get pissed off - everything was normal.

Almost.

At one point, Shizuo had to gaze over and remember the text he received, those three words screaming at him in his affliction. At first, all he could think was, _I have to kill you, _but then it came to him, what if it was a hoax?

_I doubt it. _Shizuo internally sighed to keep from Izaya's interrogation. _'Bukuro may have calmed down for the most part, but someone's always up to some crazy shit, and it's impossible to keep this idiot out of it._

"Shizu-chan, where are you going?"

There was no mistaking the amusement in Izaya's voice, leaving Shizuo to come to a halt, only to turn and see Izaya a ways back on Shinra and Celty's doorstep. Flustered and cursing the informant under his breath, Shizuo caught up to him, knocking on the door, only to earn a snicker from Izaya. Shinra opened the door a moment later, greeting them with a "Merry Christmas" and an expression to rival Izaya's at the fact that Shizuo knocked.

"One word out of either of you and you won't be up until the new year," Shizuo grumbled, making his way inside only to be greeted with a hug from Celty. Letting out a light chuckle he said, "Hey, Celty."

Celty pulled away after a moment, slipping her phone out of her sleeve. [Merry Christmas!]

Izaya raised an eyebrow at the sight, murmuring more to himself, "So, I take it Celty likes the holidays."

"Maybe if you didn't-"

Shinra was cut off by an elbow to the side, wincing as he turned to face Izaya afterwards. Celty had just caught a glimpse of the sight, approaching the two and holding her PDA out towards the informant. [Merry Christmas, Izaya.]

"As to you, courier-san."

Had Celty had her head, Izaya knew he would have gotten the dirtiest look for even attending. For now, however, all he got was her smoke flaring a tad more than usual, and certainly not in embarrassment, much to Shinra's dismay.

[So, why aren't you two doing anything today?] Celty asked, tilting her neck in question.

"My secretary seems to have bailed on us for the weekend, and Shizu-chan was very set on making up for not coming to your party," Izaya said with a shrug. "The protozoan insisted that I need a break, too."

Shinra adjusted his glasses, managing a small smile once again as he did so. "Right, you're getting into all those murders, aren't you?"

"If something's happening in this city, I have to know, simple as that."

"I've had to deal with a few of the victims myself, actually," Shinra started, though stopped when Celty held her PDA out for the three to read.

[Why don't we talk about something else? It's Christmas, after all.]

"Alright, Shizuo." Izaya smirked, earning a look from both the brunette and the dullahan, leaving him to shrug in response.

"My beloved is right as usual," Shinra gushed, gaining yet another elbow, this time from Celty, before he proceeded to whine, per usual.

After a moment, the four finally settled down, carrying out their usual antics, though to prevent any further punching, Celty sat in between Shizuo and Izaya, and Shinra ended up squished between the couch arm and Shizuo.

It was strange, though highly relaxing for once to just be stuck inside with someone either than Izaya for Shizuo. It wasn't like the informant was leaving him alone, however, still up to his usual antics despite Celty being in the middle of the two. He at least had Shinra to distract him; Celty, too, when Izaya wasn't getting on her last nerve. It wasn't the most relaxing situation to be in, but strangely, it was it was a comforting, well-needed break.

That comfort somewhat broke after a while when Celty suggested going out to dinner, though it was still somewhat there, even with Izaya at his side. Things were as they should be; the two getting along in their dysfunctional way, Shinra and Celty's usual banters and gut-punching, and the usual chats between the four. Their table was lively, though not in the way that would have been expected.

All went quiet at the table, however, when a piercing scream was heard outside, leaving the group to gaze at one another in suspicion.

"I'm going to go check it out," Shinra said as he rose from his seat. "Chances are it might be another murder attempt, and I might be the only doctor here."

"_Illegal_ doctor," Izaya corrected him, though Shinra was already out the door.

[I have a bad feeling about this.] Celty typed hastily, though Izaya waved his hand in dismissal.

"Shinra's Shinra. Whatever it is, he'll be fine."

Celty, however, didn't seem too convinced. She too rose from her seat, rushing out of the restaurant with Shizuo and a reluctant Izaya behind her.

Turns out she had a right to be worried.

There lay Shinra, blood pouring out of his side and over his hand, coloring it completely crimson along with the pavement. Across from him, the group caught sight of a petrified girl in an equally soaked Raira uniform.

"Miss Magenta."

Shizuo blinked at Izaya suddenly speaking, gazing at him in question until he got a partial answer.

"Nakura," The girl spat hoarsely before being sent into a momentary coughing fit.

_You can ask questions later, idiot. These two need help._

[Shinra, hang in there...!] Celty shakily typed before turning towards Shizuo. [Shizuo, can you help me get him on my bike?]

Shizuo was confused at first, wondering why she would ask that when her bike was back at her apartment, but as the sound of a horse's whinny reached his ears, he pushed the question aside. He took a step towards Shinra, helping his friend stand up and helping him balance the best he could between Shizuo and Celty.

"Celty...you don't have to worry about me. You should really...stop shaking," Shinra managed, letting out a nervous laugh before it turned into a small exclamation of pain. Moments later Shizuo had gotten him seated behind Celty on her bike, watching the dullahan ride off.

"I'm not gonna ask anything now," Shizuo started, giving a cautious glance back at Izaya. "But we should really get her to the hospital, too."

Izaya solemnly agreed. "You can help her up." That said, the informant was now facing in the opposite direction, murmuring, "I see curiosity got the better of everyone tonight."

As he said that, Shizuo turned around only to see people gathering all around them, joined by sirens in the distance. Shoving all other thoughts away, Shizuo held his hand out for the girl. She took it after a moment's hesitation, struggling to regain her balance, leaving Shizuo to let her lean against him for support. Catching Izaya's carmine eyes once more, he also caught the flare of red lights nearing closer, and the white motorbikes they came with. _Traffic cops?_ Shizuo cocked an eyebrow at the sight, quite thankful that Celty wasn't there, or she would've had more to tremble about, not to mention her presence might have caused an even bigger scene than what the brunette predicted was about to happen.

_Izaya and I within two feet of one another. A girl bleeding to death that's definitely terrified of both of us. Celty seen riding off with Shinra. Yup, just our fucking luck._

"Shizuo Heiwajima and Izaya Orihara. Why am I not surprised?"

Shizuo turned to see one of the cops sliding off his motorcycle, approaching the two with a small smirk. Just a little concerned, Shizuo cast Izaya a quick look that read,_ Is there something I should know about?_

_Don't look at me like that._ Izaya's eyes countered before they fell on the cop as he continued on.

"If only your headless rider friend were here, too. The city has a score to settle with all three of you."

"Ne, ne, Kuzuhara-san," Izaya cooed, holding his hands up in defense. "Let's try and get some evidence before any accusations, shall we? You have no proof that this was our doing."

"You're one to talk."

Shizuo and Izaya both tensed up at the sudden comment from "Miss Magenta", with Shizuo yet again casting the informant a glare.

"Rio-chan, have you lost so much blood you can't think straight?" Izaya purred. "Kuzuhara-san, don't you think we should save the questions for later and focus on getting this poor girl to the hospital?"

Shizuo was partially amused that the informant was using this method to talk his way out of questioning (could this be what he did back when he was accused of murdering the twins?), though he had to focus on the girl Izaya was now referring to as "Rio-chan", and how she was bleeding more seriously, her blood now dousing Shizuo's side. _There goes another one of Kasuka's shirts..._

"And I'll take to that duty," Kuzuhara grumbled, easing Rio onto his shoulder rather than Shizuo's. The officer then turned his back to Shizuo and Izaya, the two exchanging glances afterward, waiting until Kuzuhara was out of earshot, though more of his group began to approach them.

"Looks like we have a murderer to find."

Shizuo stared at him in disbelief. "You're just going to run off and get into even deeper shit?"

Izaya shrugged. "May as well add fuel to the fire."

With that said, the informant took Shizuo's hand, earning a bit of protest from the brunette, though the two were free, sprinting off directly across the street with shouts of even more protest behind them. Shizuo pulled his hand from Izaya's grasp then, posing the question, "So, what's your plan, then?"

"To be honest?" Izaya started, letting out a light chuckle. "This is more of a hands-on scenario for me."

"Never thought I'd hear that from you," Shizuo mumbled. "Hey, what was up with you and that girl? And the whole score-settling business? I know you have your secrets, but..."

Izaya managed another chuckle. "Rio-chan and I had a bit of a run-in last year when she wanted to commit suicide, and yes, you can just go ahead and say what you want to say."

"Asshole," Shizuo grumbled, thankful that he was unable to see the smirk on the informant's face. "I figured she had a good reason to be afraid of you, but she had that same look with me, too."

"Have you already forgotten?"

Shizuo was only confused for a second longer. "Shit."

"Some things never change," Izaya murmured.

"Some things do," Shizuo muttered under his breath, just loud enough for Izaya to catch, even through all the chaos that was now thrown upon the area. Sirens sounded in the near distance, along with the mutters from bystander to bystander as the two ran through the streets, and more sirens were heard in direction they were running. "Dammit...are you sure you couldn't think of some brilliant plan now? We have no way of telling what way they ran off."

Izaya turned on his heel to face him for a split second, a half-smirk appearing as he turned. "Do you doubt me that much?"

The informant faced straight ahead once more, making a quick turn and taking Shizuo with him – just in the nick of time, at that. Shizuo hadn't even noticed the motorcycle coming straight at them, which ended up crashing in their favor.

"I suppose not," Shizuo finally replied as they took off down a new street, though the brunette realized that Izaya was beginning to fall back, leaving him to stop and wait for Izaya to catch up.

"I'm too out of practice," Izaya said, trying desperately not to sound out of breath. "There are too many things wrong with you deciding to change your ways, you know."

More white motorbikes were coming straight at them, leaving Shizuo to look for somewhere for them to run off to. When he caught sight of something, the brunette went running, only to realize that Izaya had fallen on his knees. Narrowing his eyes, Shizuo burst out in the middle of the street once more, making a dive to shove Izaya out of the way, his force sending the two tumbling into the alley ahead of them in a blur of black, white, and brown.

Shizuo opened his eyes after a moment, flinching at the feeling of something underneath him, until he heard Izaya's voice, the informant writhing underneath him and trying to get out. "Shizu-chan...you're squishing me."

The debt collector rolled off of him without hesitation, landing flat on his face, much to Izaya's amusement, allowing the raven-haired man to get a breath of fresh air, though only for a minute. "Get up. We don't have time to just sit around."

Shizuo lifted his head up with a snort. "Like you have any room to talk."

"Would you like to get arrested today?"

Shizuo didn't reply.

"As I thought," Izaya murmured bitterly. "Anyway, do you think you can create a distraction for me?"

The brunette raised an eyebrow. "What kind of distraction?"

"Start running across the buildings. They'll notice that I'm gone and instead of focusing on you, they'll focus on trying to find me."

"And what are you going to do?" Shizuo raised an eyebrow. "We're stuck in a dead end."

Izaya let out a sigh. "I guess I'm hiding in this dumpster until my plan's complete."

Shizuo suppressed his laugh, knowing that now wasn't the time to ridicule him. With a nod, he murmured, "Alright," and after a few attempts he made his way up to the top of the building above them, giving Izaya a small salute.

The informant rolled his eyes, and that was the last Shizuo saw of him before taking off. He ran across only a few buildings at first, waiting for the exclamations of the cops and bystanders to sound below him, which, sure enough, they did.

"Is that Shizuo Heiwajima?"

"Orihara's not with him!"

"Find him! We can deal with Heiwajima later!"

Shizuo chuckled to himself, sitting down and kicking his legs off the side of one of the building tops, waiting for the motorbikes to disappear into the distance, off on their unsuccessful chase for Izaya. He suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder, however, turning around to see Izaya, though his face was covered by a black helmet.

"What the hell, Izaya?" Shizuo stood up then, facing the informant in question. "What happened to-"

The other man had taken a step forward, and it was then that Shizuo realized that this certainly wasn't Izaya, but only just as the man was approaching him and the brunette had taken a step too far backwards.

The last thing Shizuo saw was the Izaya imposter waving him off as the informant himself would before he collided with something rough, and everything went black.

* * *

><p><strong>author's note~<strong>

First chapter of the new year, and I'd say it's a pretty good way to start!

Happy late new year and late Durarara x2 day to you all! xD I was really set on getting this chapter out yesterday to celebrate, but I got a little caught up in the hype of the actual episode and tumblr's reaction than anything else. I was also able to find that the new OP makes for some great writing music, especially for this chapter.

I would go into a complete hype fest here, but I can finally announce that I now have an Instagram account! I'd really love to be able to interact with you guys through there, so I'm pretty excited about seeing where this will go. I've had this up on my profile since I made the account, but I have no idea how many of you actually check there, so there's another reason behind me making this. So, if you guys are interested in following me, my account is ** . **I only have one, very late post over there right now, but I imagine I'll be putting up plenty of updates, drrr x2 related things, and just me being a dork as time goes by.

Now, two things before I go: one, I'd really appreciate some feedback regarding this chapter. I'm taking a bit of a different turn here for our new murder subplot, and while I think it's off to a promising start, I can't tell how it's going to end up or how you guys feel about it. It's a bit distracting now, I know, but don't worry, there will be a lot of Shizaya to come!

Now for some guest review replies, since I got quite a few last time!

**numbah: **Thank you very much! I'm trying my best to do just that!

**xkitkatkittenx: **Ah, thank you for pointing that out! I'll have to add that to my list of things I need to change (which is a list that really needs to be made shorter). Anyway, thank you! I'm trying to get everyone more in character, but I could definitely use a bit more practice.

**Zev: **Thank you so much, yet again! ;-; I'm trying my best to be proud of myself, since you guys really do love this, and I hope that I can be just as proud as you guys want me to be by the time this is completed.

**Timothy: **Yup, I couldn't resist that ending. cx Thank you and you're welcome again!

Anyway, with this all said and done (so much for shorter ANs xD), I'll see you guys in the next chapter~!


	27. False Advertising

**chapter twenty-seven - false advertising**

When Shizuo opened his eyes, he wasn't quite sure what to expect, with his memories recollecting. He had been pushed off a building, and then collided with something...

Before he could form a proper conclusion, he heard Izaya's voice – it was Izaya's, right? – and as he opened his eyes, he recognized four familiar faces, all with eyes on him.

_Kadota, Karisawa, and the others...that's a relief._

"Welcome back to the living, Shizu-chan."

With one glance to his right, Shizuo saw Izaya, greeting him with that same stupid smirk, though he was relieved to see it.

"That's one way to put it," Shizuo murmured, folding his arms and giving a small nod to Kyohei, who was looking at him through the mirror now. Just as he went to shift in his seat, his back muscles tensed up, leaving him with a noticeable cringe as Kyohei and company were still gazing at him.

"I see you didn't come out entirely unscathed," Izaya said, sounding almost pleased with himself for a moment. "Makes sense. You did fall on top of the van, after all."

"It's better than falling to your death, at least," Kyohei added in a murmur, almost to himself.

Walker cocked his head in question, though his eyes lit up as he spoke. "Or would that not affect you? That would be so cool if it didn't. It'd almost be as if you were the invincible protagonist in a shounen manga!"

"Now that I think about it," Erika jumped in. "There's a BL manga with a protagonist that's just like Shizu-Shizu. Ooh, Izayan, too! What was it called..."

Saburo let out a sigh, chastising the two as Shizuo gazed at Izaya with a small question, and without asking anything, Izaya waved it off, muttering, "Probably best you don't know."

Exhausted and getting the sudden idea to piss Izaya off, Shizuo let out a sigh and leaned against the informant, his eyes going wide in surprise as he did so. Before Izaya could protest, however, a high-pitched squeal came from beside them.

"Oh my gosh!" Erika squeaked, flailing her arms. "Is this real? Shizu-Shizu and Izayan together! I told you! I told you!"

Opening his eyes, Shizuo caught a glimpse of Kyohei through his mirror, rolling his eyes at what he knew they should have expected, while Walker buried his head in his hands. "I knew I should have sat next to her...I knew she was going to do this again!"

"Karisawa-san," Izaya said calmly, leaving the girl to place a hand over her mouth and murmur a muffled, "Yes?"

"Shizu-chan and I are not together. While we're on slightly better terms, we're only co-workers."

Erika pulled her hand away, muttering, "Okay."

Shizuo was tempted to make a comment, though knowing how Izaya would possibly react, he remained silent save for a light chuckle.

Izaya frowned at this, shifting uncomfortably and muttering through barred teeth, "Something funny?"

"Nope," Shizuo said contently.

"Then get off my shoulder, protozoan."

Shizuo was silent for a moment before murmuring, "Nah."

Erika had clamped her hand over her mouth again and more muffled squealing came from her, leaving more groans from Kyohei, now joined by Saburo, while Walker had his head in his hands again.

"I hate you, Shizu-chan," Izaya murmured, closing his eyes and slumping in his seat.

A few minutes passed with Erika's continued screeches and squeals to herself, which the three remaining members of the van gang had now blocked out, leaving Shizuo and Izaya to themselves, the latter tempted to poke the other man with his knife repeatedly as he continued chuckling on to himself.

"We're here," Kyohei said after a while, earning a sigh of relief from Izaya, the informant beginning to shake Shizuo off of him with the brunette almost crushing Erika as he did so.

Walker leaned over and opened the van door, leaving Izaya and Shizuo to depart with a sly "Thanks, Dotachin" from Izaya and simple thanks from Shizuo. Even though the quartet was driving off, Shizuo and Izaya could hear Erika's continued squeals, which had gotten much louder now, joined by aggravated shouts of her name.

"Shizu-Shizu," Izaya snickered as they entered the hospital. "How cute."

Shizuo rolled his eyes. "Alright, Izayan."

Izaya let out a sigh. "Hmm. It doesn't have a particular charm to it."

"It pisses you off. That's enough for me."

"I should've expected that."

The two of them then approached the front desk, thankfully allowed to go to Shinra's room – not that he could have been in that bad condition - and they even ran into Celty in the process.

[You're here!] The dullahan exclaimed, holding her PDA out, more towards Shizuo. [I was getting a little worried.]

"Well, we had a bit of trouble," Izaya replied with a shrug, despite knowing she wouldn't really care hearing it from him.

It took Celty a second to realize it, but she saw then how battered the two were, holding her PDA out towards them once again. [What happened?]

"Just a little police chase, me being pushed off a building and falling on top of Kadota's van," Shizuo told her casually. "Crushed a flea, too."

Izaya rolled his eyes, running a hand through his hair after seeing how Celty had looked at him. "I wouldn't be too proud of that."

"So, how's Shinra?"

Celty opened the door, letting the two in so they could get a quick glimpse of their friend, unconscious, though cleaned up and still breathing.

"It feels so weird seeing him be the one bedridden," Shizuo commented, Izaya nodding in agreement.

[I'm just happy it's nothing too serious. He should be out in a week or so.]

Izaya gave her a small nod. "That's good."

[Anyway, I'm going to head back home.] Celty typed. [Based on how you two look, I would go, too.]

"Sounds good to me," Shizuo said with a yawn, unaware of Izaya's small smile forming in amusement as the info broker filed out behind him.

"So, Shizu-Shizu," Izaya began, thoroughly enjoying this new nickname. "It's been one hell of a Christmas, ne?"

"You can say that again. I almost forgot it was Christmas." Shizuo snorted. "Also, call me Shizu-Shizu again and you're ending up in that dumpster after all."

"Harsh!"

Shizuo grinned, getting an eye roll in return, leaving the two in silence for the way back. It gave them both a chance to keep an eye out, at least, with Shizuo wondering just what kind of situation they had gotten themselves into now. _Yeah, try and talk your way out of that..._

_At least we didn't get framed._

Gazing over at Izaya, who was too occupied with his phone, Shizuo had to wonder about what was to happen after all of this. Would things just go back to "normal" again, and would something else happen after that?

Dollars and all the other color gangs had been silent, that demon blade hadn't come back after him; everything seemed fine up until these murders.

It was then that Shizuo realized something was still missing...

"What the..."

Shizuo snapped out of his thoughts as he caught Izaya pulling his hand out of the brunette's pocket, twirling the key between his fingers. "Honestly, did you hit your head?"

His reply was letting out a sigh, kicking his legs out to claim it for himself. Pain shot through him as he did so, leaving him half-tempted to roll over on his side. When Izaya gave him a frown of disapproval, Shizuo did just that, making room for the informant at the other end.

Izaya waved his hand in dismissal as made his way down the hall, phone in hand. "I have a couple of calls to make, so I wouldn't bother with that for a while."

Shizuo furrowed his eyebrows. "Don't get yourself into more trouble."

Though Shizuo was unable to see him, Izaya had been caught off guard, now halted in front of the brunette's room, though he didn't look back.

"Interesting choice of words, Shizu-chan," was all he said before closing the door behind him.

Shizuo closed his eyes and let a small sigh escape him, a bit thankful that Izaya would be out of the picture for a while. His mind was flooding with thoughts of the supposed murders, Izaya's relation and actions, and whatever else could possibly hit him then in a jumbled mess. _Dammit...I'm thinking too hard again. I need some sort of distraction._

When he thought of nothing else, Shizuo flipped his phone open, scrolling through his contacts until he caught one name in particular.

[Hey, is it alright if I come back to work tomorrow?]

[Are you sure you want to?]

With a moment's hesitation, Shizuo replied. [Yeah.]

[Well, welcome back.]

As Shizuo was typing, Tom sent him another text. [No more vacations, right?]

Shizuo managed a faint smile. [No more vacations.]

The two spent a while longer catching up and for a brief period of time, everything left his mind. All that was left was how he was looking forward to work for the first time in a while, and how things could at least be somewhat normal.

Lying on the couch all by himself with the eerie silence could have instantly convinced him things were normal. After all, Tom and Vorona were his everyday life - at least, they had been for a good while. A part of him knew he couldn't forget that insane informant down the hall, however.

Not that he could be considered "normal".

Shizuo could only hope that the next day would bring his back his new normal; the last thing he wanted to get caught up in was another death.

_Izaya did have a bit of a point, though, with going after our loved ones. Tom and Vorona can both put up a fight, so I'm not going to worry about them._

_But I already am. Dammit, Izaya._

As if on cue, Shizuo heard the bedroom door open and Izaya appeared afterward, standing at the edge of the couch. "Alright, you can move over now."

"Remind me to get another couch," Shizuo murmured, nudging the informant with his foot as he sat down.

"You do have your own bed that you could go sleep in, you know," Izaya pointed out, kicking him in return as he outstretched his legs, relaxing them right beside Shizuo's head. "After all, you did fall on top of a van. I would take the bed."

Shizuo managed a faint smile. "I've been through worse."

Izaya snorted. "Don't come crying to me when your back aches in the morning."

"Funny, I should be telling you that."

Their eyes met for a brief moment, Izaya's flashing his a challenge, though Shizuo simply rolled his eyes in return. "Hey, how did you know to get Kadota and the others where I was? I thought you were content on hiding in that dumpster."

"Shouldn't you know the answer to that?"

It took him a moment, but Shizuo got his answer quickly. "Cameras."

"Sometimes I wonder why you even ask."

"So don't I," Shizuo muttered to himself before rolling over to face the couch. "So you saw what happened?"

Izaya nodded. "I was right. I assumed someone was going around as me and it seems my suspicions were proven. Something's still bothering me, though."

When the informant finished his statement with a yawn, Shizuo chuckled to himself. "Tired?"

"I'm only at a disadvantage because someone decided to stop chasing me," Izaya grumbled. "That, and it's not every day I get crushed by a protozoan."

"You brought that on yourself."

Izaya raised an eyebrow. "How so?"

The informant felt himself freeze at his secretary's reply. "I'm not the only one that's changed."

When Izaya didn't respond, Shizuo dismissed the topic. "Anyway, get some sleep, flea."

Izaya nodded, closing his eyes and getting into a comfortable position, waiting for sleep to claim him.

* * *

><p>"What the hell?"<p>

When Shizuo awoke, Izaya had flipped his position in his sleep, the raven now right against the brunette, though he was thankfully just facing the other side of the couch.

Even with Shizuo's outburst, Izaya did not wake, lying fast asleep much to Shizuo's surprise. Gingerly, Shizuo inched away from Izaya, sitting up and stretching, and sure enough, his back was uncomfortable. He assumed Izaya most likely added to that.

As he thought about that, Izaya rolled over, facing Shizuo, though he was still asleep, seeming quite content with the look on his face.

_I'll never understand you, Izaya._ Shizuo thought with a shake of his head as he headed for the bathroom, stopping to get a good look at himself for once. He still had a few scratches and bruises from the collision with Izaya, not that they served any importance to him. What caught his attention, however, was his disheveled hair, leaving him with a double take, which was the usual for him now. He still wasn't used to it being brown again, and it was unsettling for some reason, despite meaning something to him. Running a hand through it, he murmured, "Maybe I should just dye it again..."

A part of him expected Izaya to show up behind him and make some sort of remark, and he had a bit of relief when the informant didn't. _Could he really be that tired after yesterday?_

He didn't ponder on it for too long, as he got a mental reminder that he had to get to work soon. Scrambling around to get ready and a note for Izaya now crossed off his list, Shizuo was off, meeting up with Tom and Vorona after a few minutes with the usual, "Yo."

"Ah, Shizuo-sempai. You've returned."

Shizuo smiled. "Hey Vorona."

Vorona gave him a small nod in return. "I am finally able to express how thankful I am that you're here again. Business has been steadily declining with your absence. Consumption of cake as well. Tanaka-sempai lacks the fondness we share for sweets."

Tom sighed, holding a hand to his face. "Please take her out for some cake later. This is getting ridiculous."

Shizuo let out a chuckle, though something caught his attention. "What's wrong with the business?"

"We can only be so assertive without you around." Tom shrugged. "It's a little harder to get the money we need without you to push them."

Shizuo blinked, adjusting his glasses out of nervous habit. "Guess I didn't really realize how much you two depend on me."

"Affirmative. Shizuo-sempai's name is the equivalent of both fear and perplexity as I've come to find, and thus it completes our job."

Vorona seemed quite content with what she had said, though Tom cast her a quick glare, leaving her to give one glance at her sempai before adding, "We cannot just be a duo, but a trio. Appreciation of that fact is of very high necessity."

Shizuo scratched at the back of his neck awkwardly, eyes meeting Tom's, his friend's filled with disapproval. As much Tom figured Shizuo would be bothered by it, the brunette knew what Vorona was trying to say. He could still remember how dumbfounded she was by his strength, and how she didn't seem to fear him, being quite the formidable opponent herself. That's all it was; it wasn't so much about being feared as he assumed Tom was thinking.

"Thanks, Vorona."

"You are very much welcome."

_Appreciation, huh..._

This thought managed to stick with him throughout the day, a constant reminder with him side by side with Tom and Vorona all day long. It was just a relief that he was back, and that was all that mattered.

With afternoon shifting into the evening, Tom bade farewell to Shizuo and Vorona, leaving Shizuo to catch Vorona eying him expectantly.

"Yeah?"

"If you will recall back to earlier, Tanaka-sempai informed you of my dilemma and you appeared to agree to the circumstances. Please affirm."

"Oh, right," Shizuo said, gaining a smile. "How about we stop by the bakery, then?"

Vorona nodded, sporting a very faint smile of her own. It was a rare sight, so Shizuo could only be happy that he was back to enjoying his time with his kouhai.

The Russian woman was silent for some time and Shizuo complied until she finally spoke. "I will regret being of an intrusive nature, Shizuo-sempai, but have you attended Kasuka-san's funeral?"

Shizuo stiffened, and upon noticing this, Vorona bowed her head in shame. "My apologies."

"No, no, don't worry about it." Shizuo gave her a reassuring smile as he ruffled her hair. "It's not until next week, I think. I was gonna wait until after to come back, but I thought I'd be better off coming now."

His kouhai nodded, looking up at him with the same partial smile as before. "I'm relieved that returning was your decision."

Internally expressing his gratitude, Shizuo decided to stray away from the topic for a moment and hopefully get an even bigger smile out of her. "Now, how about we get that cake?"

Vorona's eyes brightened, earning a chuckle from Shizuo as the two made their way inside the bakery.

After a bit of indecision on Vorona's part, the two took their seats, with the Russian more interested in eating than talking. After all, they had been together all day. Shizuo had tried thinking of a good conversation starter, and then the one thing he had been meaning to bring up hit him.

"So, what you said earlier about appreciation..."

Vorona's fork froze in midair as she averted her attention from her cake. "Yes?"

After some thought, Shizuo shook his head. "Nah, never mind. It's not important."

"If that it is you believe, then I will accept it."

What he had said was a partial lie; it was important, but he knew better than spoiling a good day and bringing up a problem of his. Neither Tom and Vorona did it, so he decided to keep it himself.

As he was about to reply, however, his phone buzzed, "The Flea" flashing on his screen.

Vorona was able to catch a glimpse at the name, bringing it up just as he went to open the text. "Flea. That is the name you associate with Izaya Orihara, yes? If he is being any bother, I will gladly exterminate him and rid of his existence forever, should that be sempai's wish."

"No, no, no!" Shizuo instantly exclaimed, letting out a cough after his nervous outburst. "No exterminating, Vorona. We're on better terms now."

"Is that so?" Vorona inquired. "I'm shocked. I thought with all the hatred you harbored for him that you would never change your ways."

Shizuo merely shrugged for the time being, opening the text and narrowing his eyes at its contents.

[_Having a date with your little girlfriend, ne?_]

As he was replying, another message came in and Shizuo reluctant opened it.

[_So this is how a monster flirts._]

[What the hell, Izaya? Turn the damn cameras off, will you?]

[_Ooh, no argument against flirting or having a girlfriend. Quite impressive._]

[Fuck off.]

"Shizuo-sempai?" Vorona spoke up. "It seems that this flea is bothering you. May I-"

[_Why should I?_]

[Are you jealous, maybe?]

Izaya didn't respond.

"Don't worry about it. I think I just solved things." Shizuo now wore a small smirk, leaving Vorona to nod in response, seeing that he was most likely not lying.

After a few more minutes, the two decided to depart, with simple waves and smiles, leaving Shizuo in quite the content mood, other than realizing he'd have to deal with Izaya when he got back home. Before he did that, however, he decided to stop somewhere, holding a container of bleach with some hesitation.

_Eh. Why not?_

With his mind made up, Shizuo exited the store and took his time getting home, only to be greeted with a, "That took a while."

"Hi to you, too."

Izaya didn't reply and Shizuo got a sudden smirk, yet again posing his question. "Are you jealous? You never answered."

Izaya frowned as he faced the debt collector once more, raising his eyebrows. "Not in the slightest."

Shizuo caught his somewhat sarcastic tone, murmuring as he walked off, "If you say so."

"And what are you off to go do?"

"I'm going to bleach my hair back."

Izaya sat there still in question. "What brought this on?"

Shizuo turned back and gave him a shrug in response. "It's been bothering me a little bit, so I thought, why not just be blonde again?"

Izaya shrugged. "Damage your hair as much as you want. Your choice."

"Whatever." Shizuo waved him off, slipping into the bathroom to leave Izaya by his lonesome and with a sigh the other man wouldn't catch.

"You only wish I'd be jealous of you, Shizu-chan."

Jealousy was quite the foreign concept for the informant. Why would he envy a monster who had almost no control over himself, who barely made a living, who had very few friends, who was so powerful yet so vulnerable?

A monster who at least had friends. Who didn't intend to cause trouble. Who looked out for his kouhai.

This wasn't jealousy.

_After all, you only wish I'd be jealous of you._

_...Right?_

* * *

><p><strong>author's note~<strong>

Well, this took a while. Sorry about that. A new semester just started, and with that comes more homework and a little more procrastination. That, and I started re-reading the light novels (finally made it to x11 /victory screech) so I've been thinking a bit too much on my characterization. I really, really want to improve it since it's been bothering me a lot these past two weeks, but with my focus going to this, it's been a little hard. Yes, this is an AU, but I'd still like to keep everyone as in-character as I can get them. The perfectionist in me is going absolutely crazy right now.

Anyway, with improvement in mind, I've been considering taking requests from you guys, should there be anything you might want to see from me. I need to work on being able to get multiple things done at once again, my procrastination, characterization...too many things, to be honest. I've lost too much inspiration lately and I think this might help in some way. It's kind of hard telling, though. I just feel like, yet again, that I'm going to let you down with some aspects of this fic. After all, I barely even have the second part planned out other than the beginning and end.

Enough ranting, though. Sorry to bother you guys with all this. The whole Instagram thing isn't working so I guess we're back to long ANs.

With that said, here's this chapter's review replies~

**xkitkatkittenx: **I touched on that very briefly in the last chapter. "At one point, Shizuo had to gaze over and remember the text he received, those three words screaming at him in affliction. At first, all he could think was, _I have to kill you_, but then it came to him; what if it was a hoax?

_I doubt it. _Shizuo sighed internally to keep from Izaya's interrogation. _'Bukuro may have calmed down for the most part, but someone's always up to some crazy shit, and it's impossible to keep this idiot out of it._"

As I said, it's brief, but his worrying will be a little more evident later. (gosh I hate saying that. So many things are just "later" Dx)

Anyway, thanks for the review. ^^

**Zevv: **You're welcome, and thank you c': 27/10. Heh. cx

**Timothy: **I'd love to make things a little more clear, and I know I need to do that a little better, but I'm trying to not spoil everything, and it's a little difficult to balance it right now, and I hope you guys will see why soon. Thank you, and you're welcome!

**Guest: **You left your review on chapter nine, so I have no idea how caught up you are now, but I didn't want you thinking I ignored this. Yeah, I know, I need to stop ragging on it, but it's pushing me to try and become better. I'm sure you guys would rather read me at my best than my worst. But, thank you for the review. ^^

And I think that's it. Next chapter will probably be a little slow, too; I'm hoping for the Izaya equivalent of this, and then things will pick up again. Hopefully.

Oh, and happy early birthday to Shizuo~ I really wanted to get a one-shot out for him tomorrow, but I ended up not working on it at all, so there's always next year, I suppose.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and I'll see you all next time~


	28. Heads or Tails

**chapter twenty-eight - heads or tails  
><strong>

"Move king to...hmm."

Resting his chin on his wrist, Izaya stared blankly at the game board in front of him, tapping one of his king pieces against the board in thought. "Where do I move you, Shizu-chan?"

The piece hovered over several spots, though moved from each one as Izaya frowned at each placement. Eventually he gave up, clearing the board and returning to his desk, casting a glare in the direction of the hallway and its disturbing silence.

"I don't even think I can place you," Izaya grumbled in no more than a whisper, turning his laptop on as he did so. "Predictable one minute, unpredictable the next..."

"What are you muttering about now?"

Izaya turned his head, catching a quick glimpse of blonde hair before it disappeared into the kitchen. Still frowning, he murmured, "Good morning to you, too."

Shizuo came around the corner moments later, gulping down a glass of milk and giving him a faint smile.

"You have something on your face."

"Hmm?" Shizuo furrowed his brows, wiping at his face, though felt nothing. "What?"

"Nothing."

_Your smile._

The blonde shrugged, muttering something to himself as he went back into the kitchen, Izaya watching him go before fixating himself on his rather mundane work. Lover's spat, murder, human trafficking; it was all the same. Today, particularly, it was worthy of a sigh. Quite a heavy sigh, at that.

"Someone's grouchy this morning." Shizuo appeared once again, sitting down across from the informant with a teasing grin.

"Someone's awfully perky."

"Would you rather have me on a rampage?"

Izaya shrugged as he unconsciously gained a small smile for himself. "I suppose not."

Shizuo let out a chuckle to celebrate his small victory, earning an eye roll from Izaya, though the raven's smile remained. It was strange for him, having Shizuo back at work, and while he did have Namie and the satisfaction of belittling her, something felt off.

And he knew exactly what that something was.

"Anyway, I'm heading out."

Izaya brought himself back to reality, giving Shizuo a small nod. "Sayonara, protozoan."

Back turned to him, Shizuo waved before making his way out the door, Namie arriving shortly after with her new greeting of, "Good morning, your highness."

"Ah, the she-demon has arrived." Izaya kept his eyes on his screen for only a moment, closing his laptop as Namie approached him with a smirk.

"Don't tell me."

"Just for today," Izaya grumbled, spinning around in his chair. "Even I can have an off day, Namie."

"I didn't think 'off day' was in your vocabulary."

A smirk made its way back to Izaya's face as he stood up, walking off to the kitchen with Namie behind him. "Haven't you known me long enough?"

"Too long." Namie let out a yawn as she set the coffee pot, not facing the man. "I don't know how Shizuo still puts up with you. If I had my way, you'd be six feet under."

"Oh?" Izaya gave her a half-hearted chuckle. "Careful, your true colors are showing again."

"I wasn't aware that it was a problem."

"I suppose not," Izaya replied, almost bumping into her as she turned around, Namie close to throwing her coffee on him.

There was a short moment of silence with the two carrying out a stare down with raised eyebrows, a single smirk, and teasing eyes from both parties.

Izaya almost felt normal.

He knew that couldn't be the case, however, and with an internal sigh he claimed his seat on the couch, phone in tow.

[Kanra has entered the chat.]

[Taro Tanaka: Oh, hey Kanra-san. Haven't seen you in a while.]

[Saika: Hello.]

[Bakyura: Die.]

_So it's just the three of them. _Izaya frowned. _The chat seems so empty._

"Resorting to your high school friends again?"

"Someone's desperate to talk to me today."

Namie shrugged indifferently. "You've been quiet lately. It's unsettling."

Silence.

[Kanra: Heh, sorry about that~ I've been a little busy.]

[Bakyura: Bet I know what you've been up to.]

[Kanra: Let's not be rude, Bakyura-san~]

After typing this, Izaya held his phone out to Namie, the woman frowning back at him as she pushed his phone away. "I'm only making a point. You're very inconsistent."

_So I've noticed. _Izaya held his reply back, distracting himself with the chat for a while longer; long enough for Namie to give up and begin her usual tasks. While he wasn't entirely alone, it was still a decent environment for Izaya to concentrate in. Finally he could sort everything out.

What he needed to tell Shizuo, what he needed to tell Shinra, the murders, Kasuka's death, the twins' deaths, what was going on with himself, Shizuo...

Right, Shizuo.

The root of all his problems.

Yet he was the center of his solutions.

Izaya supposed it was possible that Shizuo could be both at once, though it was nerve wrecking, especially in that moment.

_"Are you jealous, maybe?"_

_"Not in the slightest."_

_Right, I could never be jealous of you._

_Heh._

_Heh._

He was going into denial, he could admit. He knew it was inevitable at this point, and the woman beside him knew exactly that, just as he knew she did. So, when their eyes met, Izaya looked away with a scowl.

"Izaya."

Her voice was firm, expression almost blank as he faced her once again. Almost blank except for that look in her eyes - a look Izaya wouldn't expect to see, but then again, both had their reasons for their thoughts.

Still the informant sighed, closing his eyes with only a simple murmur to come from him. "Not now."

Namie grimaced, though it wasn't so much in anger as it was disappointment, and with that she remained silent until her words found her again. "Forget I said anything."

She walked off, leaving Izaya to sit alone in the unsettling silence once again, the informant only putting a hand to his face.

_Dammit..._

* * *

><p>Shizuo had no idea how to explain it, but the strangest feeling had come over him out of nowhere. He felt as if something was wrong, but looking at Tom and Vorona, everything seemed fine. After all, he was never really one to worry, so it was a complete mystery to the man.<p>

Usually he would've tried desperately to get his mind off of it, but it was incredibly easy, so he thought, as a call of "Shizuo-nii!" came from nearby.

Shizuo, Tom, and Vorona all turned in unison to see a very excited Akane barreling towards them, Shizuo smiling at the sight of her as he prepared for his usual tackle from the girl. Sure enough, the youngest Awakusu went flying straight for him, wrapping her arms around him tightly with a grin plastered to her face.

_She's a lot happier than the last time I saw her..._

Nonetheless, Shizuo liked that thought. He'd rather have her happy and safe than anything else, especially after what she'd been through.

"Hey Akane," he finally replied, ruffling her violet hair as she pulled away. "What are you doing here? No school?"

Akane nodded. "Oi-chan's taking me out shopping today."

Amused, Shizuo furrowed his brows as he asked her, "And you just ran off from him without thinking, didn't you?"

The girl looked down at her feet. "Maybe."

"Only harm will come from such a thing," Vorona spoke up, keeping her usual attitude, though she seemed bitter. "There is a strange aura in this city. You should remain by your uncle's side."

Akane cast the Russian a puzzled glance before focusing on Shizuo again. "I'm sorry."

"Hey, don't apologize to me," Shizuo chuckled. "Apologize to your uncle when he finds you."

Almost as if he had planned his entrance, Akabayashi appeared just as Akane cast a glance into the crowd, the girl becoming flustered as he approached, shaking his head lightly. "Little miss..."

"I'm sorry," Akane cut him off, facing him instead of her feet. "Can I at least stay with Shizu-nii for a while?"

Akabayashi gazed between Shizuo and Tom with a concerned frown. "Hmm..."

"I won't let anything happen to her."

Finally, Akabayashi nodded. "I suppose."

Shizuo nodded in reply, gazing back at a smiling Akane once again. _Vorona's right, especially after what happened with Shinra - anyone's at risk now. Especially Akane. Maybe that's what I was worried about._

_"Everyone has their redeeming qualities. You just have to be willing enough to find them."  
><em>

Shizuo stopped, gazing between Akane, Tom, and a now missing Vorona, a wave of confusion overtaking him then. _Why am I remembering that now? _

"Onii-chan."

Shizuo looked down to see Akane, auburn eyes wide as she gazed up at him. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Why are you asking?"

Akane's smile vanished. "You seem worried."

_Am I really worried?_

Out of habit, Shizuo scratched the back of his neck, attempting to come up with an answer for himself before answering the girl. _I am worried about Akane in a way but something else doesn't feel right. _

"Don't worry about me." Casting her a small smile, Shizuo ruffled the child's hair once more, though her frown still remained.

"Okay, Shizu-nii."

_Yeah, don't worry about me..._

* * *

><p>"So, Satan, did you have a good day?"<p>

Without any other introduction, Shizuo entered the apartment, figuring he may as well get a laugh out of his unrest. Work was of course a distraction, and he knew even being near Izaya shouldn't let things get to him, but he supposed, maybe just this time, he could play things out as the informant would.

Based off assumption, at least.

Izaya looked up from his computer. "That's one way to get yourself locked out for the night. I heard the temperature's dropping again, too…"

Shizuo frowned. "It's my apartment."

"Who pays the rent?"

The blonde walked past him, not making eye contact in his sense of defeat. "You."

Izaya smirked. "Face it, Shizu-chan, you're hopeless without me."

"Whatever," Shizuo called, not reappearing as Izaya expected, leaving the informant on his lonesome for a while longer.

When Shizuo returned, he had a frown, facing Izaya and with a straight face said, "Kasuka's funeral is tomorrow."

At the sight of Shizuo's face, Izaya himself frowned. "What time?"

Dumbfounded, Shizuo responded. "Ten thirty."

The two sat across from one another, communicating through somehow changing facial expressions - mostly on Izaya's part - before the raven managed to ask, "Are you okay?"

Shizuo let out a feeble chuckle. "Everyone's asking me that today. I'm…"

"Not okay."

Shizuo sighed. "I don't really know how to explain it. I just have this bad feeling about something, but I'm not sure what." A nod. "It could just be the murders, but it's hard telling."

Izaya was about to speak when Shizuo continued. "You have good intuition. What do you think?"

"Good intuition," Izaya echoed with a laugh. "I'm rarely ever wrong."

_Rarely._

Shizuo grinned, weakly. "I guess."

_You can't hide that paranoia, Shizu-chan. _

"It's a proven fact." Izaya wore his usual smirk, only to receive an eye roll.

"Whatever." Shizuo stood up, waving him off and keeping his back to him.

Footsteps sounded behind him, though the blonde took no mind to it until he felt arms around him. His eyes widened in shock, though when he turned around to see Izaya with a blank stare, he managed to calm himself slightly. "What the hell are you doing?"

He posed the question almost blankly, neither angry nor concerned. Simply confused.

Somewhat.

Izaya shrugged. "I just needed to see something."

"You know, this is a problem."

What he said wasn't shocking at all, considering Izaya knew that as well. It was just a matter of time, and Izaya simply couldn't tell - was it too early or too late?

"I'm aware of that."

Shizuo was silent.

"Ne, Shizu-chan, are you implying that-"

Shizuo cast him a glare over his shoulder. "I'm not trying to say anything like that, idiot."

_Denial._

_Jealousy._

_Paranoia._

_Insecurity._

_It's as if we're becoming two sides of the same coin._

"If you say so."

"That it?"

Izaya raised his eyebrows as Shizuo faced him. "Shizu-chan, you're the one who addressed it as a problem. If you'd like to go on about solutions-"

"Never mind."

With that said, Shizuo walked off with only a, "'night," as his parting words. Watching him go, Izaya let out a sigh and fell backwards onto the couch, eyes closed.

_Shizu-chan…_

* * *

><p>When Izaya awoke, he certainly didn't expect to see Shizuo looming over him, shaking his shoulder in attempt to wake him. The blonde had said, surprisingly calm, "Oi, flea. Get up."<p>

The informant yawned in response as Shizuo stepped back, rubbing at his eyes. Before he could get the chance to properly respond, Shizuo spoke.

"Sorry. I saw Shiki on your caller ID and thought it might be something important."

Izaya yawned again. "You couldn't have answered for me?"

"With what?" Shizuo scowled. "Hi, Shizuo Heiwajima speaking. What kind of life ruining job do you have for the flea today?" He spoke in the best perky, high-pitched tone he could conjure up, leaving Izaya to grimace in absolute disgust.

"I hope that's now how you talked to my clients," The informant groaned, sitting up and snatching his phone from Shizuo's hands.

Shizuo's lips curved up in a faint effort to tease him. "Hmm..."

Izaya looked away. "Shizu-chan."

"I'm just kidding."

When Izaya looked back, Shizuo had a full-fledged smile, Izaya simply wearing one for his sake.

_His brother's funeral is today, yet he can still smile and brush it off like it's nothing. _Izaya watched as the other man walked off, Shizuo's smile slowly fading as he exited the room. _I see he's learned a few things from me. _

Izaya flipped his phone open though paused when he got a glimpse of the time. Fifteen minutes until the funeral. With only a moment's hesitation, the informant got up, making his way down the hall, past Shizuo, who stopped him as he walked by. "Aren't you going to call Shiki back?"

"I'll call him back later." Izaya looked him right in the eye as he spoke, managing a smile with his following question. "Don't we have a funeral to get to?"

Shizuo froze, watching Izaya continue down the hall with his mouth slightly agape, as if he was ready to say something and stopped. Keeping it to himself, however, he returned to what he was doing, which wasn't really much of anything other than straightening himself up. The blonde gave a quick look at himself in the mirror, forcing a faint smile upon himself before it faded away. _Come on, you can at least smile for Kasuka._

_You don't need something else to regret, after all.  
><em>

With a sigh, Shizuo turned the bathroom light off, standing in the door frame to wait for Izaya. Shortly after, he reappeared, taking Shizuo by slight surprise.

"I was starting to think you didn't own anything other than that damn jacket."

Izaya, now clad in a suit, walked on past the other man with a shrug. "Who says I can't go on a shopping trip every once and a while?"

"Says the one who always makes me go out and get everything," Shizuo murmured, a smile pulling at his lips once more.

Izaya rolled his eyes, opening the door and taking a step outside before turning back to face Shizuo. "Are we going or not?"

"Yeah."

Reluctantly, Shizuo followed him, attempting to not make eye contact as they walked along. Izaya, of course, caught on, though didn't face him in return.

"You're nervous."

As expected, it was more of a taunt, though Izaya didn't mean for it to be a question or a taunt.

But Shizuo caught on to that.

"No shit, Sherlock," Shizuo replied with a shaky laugh. "You didn't have to..."

Izaya frowned, leaving the bodyguard to hastily say, "Never mind."

"No, you're right. I didn't have to say anything in front of a small crowd," Izaya replied. "You could just not say anything."

Shizuo's face fell. "I'd still have to face my parents."

"Ah, right."

"Whatever," Shizuo murmured. "I'll stop bothering you with all this."

"I'm come this far, haven't I?"

Shizuo fell silent, still not facing the informant for some time. He regained his words shortly after, however, murmuring two words that Izaya didn't expect to hear - much less hear more than once from the same man.

"Thank you."

Izaya didn't reply.

How could he, to a thank you as sincere as that? That was it; he couldn't.

At least, not in the way he saw fit.

By the time Shizuo was about to attempt to revive the conversation, the two reached the cemetery, leaving them to exchange glances.

"Ready?"

Shizuo gave a hesitant nod. "I guess I have to be."

It wasn't as bad as he expected, however, with a relatively short service. Max Sandshelt, along with Ruri, stepped forward to say a few things, and Shizuo caught the pain clouding the idol's eyes as she spoke, leaving her to finish relatively quickly. No one else spoke, Shizuo included, the blonde now with something else to add to his regrets. Still, what was there to say? _Hi, I'm Shizuo Heiwajima and I'm indirectly responsible for my brother's death. Not that you care about anything other than that._

As a result of this, he spaced out for a while until he heard Izaya calling his name, turning to face him.

Izaya was no longer sitting, however, and standing beside him was someone he'd liked to have not seen that day.

"Kaa-san."

There stood Namiko Heiwajima, her face completely devoid of everything except the prolonged pain of knowing one of her sons had passed. She had no tears left to cry, Shizuo pointed out to himself.

_It's my fault._

"Kaa-san, I-"

Shizuo was cut off by the embrace of his mother, Namiko holding him close, and he gave her a reluctant hug in return. He expected to see Izaya's eyes teasing him from behind his mother, but the informant was nonchalant, and Shizuo was quite thankful for that.

"I know you blame yourself, Shizuo," Namiko said in almost a whisper, closing her eyes as she stayed against her son. "But I'm asking you, don't be. Be happy for me, and Kasuka too. You know he hated to see you upset."

"I know, but-"

"No buts." His mother pulled away, looking up at him with a faint smile. "When he was out of the hospital, Kasuka called me and told me how you were doing, and he said you've seemed a lot more happier lately. I want you to promise me that you'll keep on being happy, okay?"

Shizuo nodded. "Okay."

"Promise me."

Shizuo managed a faint smile. "I promise."

"Good." Namiko turned to walk away, though she called him one last time over her shoulder. "Oh, and Shizuo?"

"I'm proud of you."

With that, she gave Izaya a nod before walking off, the informant facing Shizuo with that taunting grin the blonde had been so happy to miss.

"Wait...what did you...?" Shizuo snapped, clenching his fists in a small fit of frustration. "Kaa-san!"

"How rude of you to always assume I did something," Izaya chastised him, crossing his arms.

Shizuo let out a sigh, muttering to himself, "I'm going to call her later..."

"Speaking of calls," Izaya started, Shizuo looking back at him as he spoke.

"How would you feel if I told you we were going back to America?"

* * *

><p><strong>author's note~<strong>

I'm just going to start this AN with, oh, I don't know, me hiding inside a protective force field.

This is way, _way _too late and I'm so sorry it took me this long! ;-; I've been doing a lot of planning for a certain chapter coming up soon and by planning for it, it took away of lot of interest in this chapter since I'm trying to wrap the first half of the story up now. Originally it was planned to end at chapter 31 - which it might still, depending on how much plot I can fit into these next few chapters - with a little hiatus from me afterwards, and then the second half of the story would start. I'm debating on whether or not I should take the hiatus or not still because, I know, a three week wait for a chapter is pretty ridiculous, but I need to spend time planning the second half of the story to have something to go off of, because out of all the things I planned, this is what I'm least ready for. I don't know; I just know that I need time to think and when I try and cram chapters in, it takes away time. I just don't want to get too out of habit and end up not coming back for the second part. I'm making sure that this fic gets finished, though, no matter what. It just might take a lot longer than I'd like.

_Anyway, _before I throw more apologies at you guys, I'd like to just leave something here (yet again, since it didn't work last time). I've said it nine thousand times already, but I'm the kind of fic writer who wants to communicate with their fans, give you guys updates, all that good stuff. So, I've finally decided to make a Tumblr (insanity-the-scribe) and I remade my Instagram account (cakes. and. cigarettes) so you can now get my Durarara and T&E rambles all in one. If you want to, feel free to follow them and don't be shy to message me or DM me! I love hearing from you guys and it would make me really happy to know that you guys are getting updates, especially during a three-week period with no chapters. Anyway, if you want the full reason, I've written it out already on my profile, so feel free to check it out if you want. I hate to keep pushing these things on you guys, but as I said, I love you guys and I want to get the full fanfic writer experience, I suppose. xD

Now, as usual, guest review replies~

**Guest: **Yeah, my time skips are awful. ^^" I've been thinking about going in and reformatting them like they are in the light novels so they're more clear, but for now I'll just try and work on spreading things out a little more, I suppose. It's been bothering me too, don't worry, but when I give myself such a limited time to write it's a little hard. But thank you for pointing that out! I really appreciate it. And I'm really happy that you all are liking the Vorona and Shizuo scene. c: Vorona doesn't get enough love in this fandom. But anyway, thank you so much for your review!

**Zevv: **Long surpassed any expectations? Love what I do with Shizaya? Proud of me? ;-; aaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Thank you so much, but I just can't help but feel like I'm going to let you all down at one point. :c Especially with chapters like these. Ugh.

Anyway, thank you again, and you have an awesome day too c:

Well, hopefully this ends the last long AN until the halfway point. Hopefully. This is why I'm trying to reach out to you guys with stuff like tumblr. xD Anyway, thank you all for reading, and I'll hopefully see you all sooner next time around~!


	29. Two-Faced Lovers

**chapter twenty-nine - two-faced lovers  
><strong>

"We're really going back?"

It was a pointless question, Shizuo decided, but somehow still worth the ask. There was no reluctance in Izaya's eyes, or any particular emotion for that matter, but this was Izaya after all. Attending Kasuka's funeral had to evoke something in him - right?

He couldn't possibly stay that heartless.

_"You know, they're probably going to hate me a bit since they're bound to get separated, but they'll always go back to one another in the end."_

_"Never thought I'd hear something like that from you."_

_"Yeah, well, I wouldn't expect anything again."_

Izaya hadn't answered his question, and Shizuo noticed that the informant seemed to be drifting off, possibly thinking the same thing he had. Shizuo had thought on it for a while, wondering just how far Izaya's sympathy would go regarding situations such as these, and there was still the possibility that the other man felt nothing and was quite the actor.

He just didn't want to believe that.

_You said you were testing me, Izaya._

_Well, I guess it's time for my counterattack._

"Izaya."

The raven turned, finally out of his daze and focusing back on Shizuo. "Does that even need to be a question?"

Shizuo frowned, withholding his reply until he caught some sort of light in Izaya's eyes, the informant now sparking more silent questions. "Aren't you the one who knows everything?"

"Don't get smart with me, Shizu-chan."

His tone was bitter, and Shizuo let out a small cough, trying to pass it off as the cold when he knew Izaya wouldn't buy it. _Dammit. You're making things worse. _"Sorry."

Izaya lightened up, though only slightly, casting him a small smile. "Apologies won't get you anywhere."

"And chastising me like I'm a kid or a dog or something won't get you anywhere."

When Izaya's expression reverted back to his usual smirk, Shizuo let out a defeated sigh, glancing in the opposite direction. "Now before you give me your pissy little attitude, I wanted to ask one last time. What did you tell her?"

"Oh, Namiko?" Their eyes met again, Izaya's glinting as he continued. "We had a nice little chat, nothing more."

When Shizuo opened his mouth to reply, Izaya began walking off, the blonde rolling his eyes and following after him. "Chat about what?"

"Honestly, Shizu-chan, you sound like a jealous girlfriend."

"Hah?!"

Izaya pursed his lips in thought. "Now there's a reaction I haven't gotten in a while. Could it be you're reverting back to your old ways? And I thought you'd changed."

"Yeah, well..."

_I thought the same thing. _

Shizuo stopped himself, walking along in silence with a content Izaya beside him, smirk refusing to falter. The bodyguard couldn't really explain how, but it calmed him in a sense. Izaya had just seemed so off in one way or another whenever they were around one another. He could be his usual self, overly perky, or even deadly.

Deadly, huh. Shizuo had to laugh at that. Though he supposed he had a point, with this change being something he couldn't ignore.

Finally, however, Izaya seemed to be settling down; at least in that moment.

Shizuo had seen it in himself as well, this sense that he was acting strange, like he wasn't himself sometimes. Taking what Namiko had said into consideration, however, it wasn't too farfetched.

_Kasuka told her I was happy for once, and he's right. Everything's been fine lately, except for the murders. _His heart sank at that thought, leaving him to look over his shoulder, back at the cemetery where he would be leaving his brother behind. He'd just been so careless lately. Saving Akane, fighting off Nakamura, running into the Izaya imposter; the list went on, even going back to when he took the bullet for Izaya.

_I could've saved Kasuka, too. If I could save Izaya, I should've been able to save him.  
><em>

Now, with America back in his thoughts, something just didn't sit right with him. What was the point of all of this? Why did he have to worry about keeping on eye on the rest of his friends now? He shouldn't have to worry about losing them, or hurting them.

No, he never wanted that feeling again.

He was still taken over by the thought that Kasuka died because of his carelessness, and that "fact" scared him. He hadn't felt this worry in a while, ever since he started realizing he obtained a better grasp on his power.

With that fact came something that just didn't sit right with him.

A sense of doubt about that all too familiar man beside him.

He had questions, and probably not a single one that Izaya would answer. They could wait, he decided.

For now, all Shizuo Heiwajima wanted was his peaceful life.

His peaceful, yet slowly spiraling out of control life living with Izaya Orihara.

And he supposed he was happy with that.

Though there was one question he could think of to ask then, even a bit reluctantly.

"So when are we leaving?"

"A while after New Years, so we still have a little time," Izaya replied nonchalantly. "Why? Do you have something important to do?"

"No. Just work, I guess. I just got settled back in and all."

Izaya nodded. "Understandable."

Their conversation drew to a close as they reached their apartment, with Shizuo heading to unlock the door, only to someone had already done so. "What the-"

The door opened, only revealing a somewhat content Namie pacing around the apartment, sipping her coffee all the while. Hearing the door open, she paused, mustering up a small chuckle at Shizuo's shock. "Don't worry, I didn't break in."

"I made her a spare key, just in case," Izaya explained, taking the first step inside rather than Shizuo, the blonde soon to follow. "So, now that we're all here, are there any objections to some more investigation?"

Shizuo furrowed his brows. "I thought you already had it all figured out."

"Partially."

When the informant didn't continue, Shizuo frowned. "Are you going to explain or not?"

"Classified," was the only reply he received.

Namie came over, sitting down beside Shizuo and subtly changing the subject back. "So, what was this about investigation?"

"Actually, now that I think about it, I have something I need to go do first," Izaya said, avoiding her question completely. "Hope you don't mind."

Shizuo rolled his eyes in response, and when Izaya was out of the perimeter, he sat down at the informant's desk, Namie scooting her chair over beside him. "He's up to something. First a call from Shiki, announcing we're going to America, and heading out just like that?"

Namie nodded. "I've been waiting for him to plan something again."

"You have?"

She raised her eyebrows at his question, slightly puzzled. "I thought you of all people would agree with me on that. Didn't you say something about this a while ago?"

"Yeah, I guess I did."

It was strange to him, recognizing this change of heart in not only Izaya, but himself. Was he wrong to assume something about Izaya, or had nothing changed at all?

No, no, things had changed, that was inevitable. Yet for some reason, Shizuo still felt a lingering sense of doubt, especially regarding every little thing Izaya had been saying lately.

_It's like he's throwing little hints at me. But what is he trying to do?_

"Shizuo?"

"Sorry," he murmured with a nervous smile. "You just gave me a bit to think about."

Namie managed a faint smile herself before it morphed into a smirk that could rival that of Izaya's. "Hey, you're at least thinking about it. That's a lot different from the Shizuo that Izaya used to ramble about."

"Shut up." Shizuo rolled his eyes, turning away from her, though his smile remained.

_I'm just happy that's the case._

"Anyway, speaking of giving you something to think about, how's your little test going?"

Shizuo faced her again with a raised eyebrow, puzzled, until it hit him.

_"Have you figured out what's bothering him?"_

"Not so good. He seems normal again, so it's hard telling."

Namie grimaced. "I wouldn't be too sure about that. He wasn't really himself yesterday."

Shizuo's only reply was a sigh as he stared blankly at the computer screen. He was conflicted, that was all. Part of him was happy that he was getting a chance to sit down and think everything through again, but the buildup of everything was nerve wracking. Work would most definitely take his mind off of things, but he doubted Tom would let him come back after already taking the day off. Shinra was still in the hospital, and he imagined Celty would be with him, so that ruled them both out.

_I just need to get out of this apartment._

"Hey, I'm gonna head out for a while."

Namie looked up at him, though not in question or concern. Per usual, she was unfazed, voice devoid of almost all emotion. "Where's this coming from all of a sudden?"

He shrugged. "Dunno, but considering that Izaya didn't tell us to do anything, it's not like there's really anything to do."

"I suppose."

As Shizuo approached the door, he turned to face Namie, though she wasn't paying any mind. "Don't get yourself in any trouble."

He just barely caught her lips curve into a smile. "Likewise."

With that, Shizuo left the apartment behind him, heading out into the center of Ikebukuro with a sigh escaping him. It was a relaxing thought, the idea that he could clear his mind for even a little while, though he still had to be on alert. It was still Ikebukuro, after all, and there was no telling when this normal would be replaced once again. It was the last thing he wanted, but he at least accepted it.

Gazing out in the crowd, he got a glimpse of each face that passed him by, knowing that one of these people could be the next victim in the murder string, or even someone who carries it out. Adding all the ones he cared about in and it was an even deadlier equation.

_Maybe I can stay behind this time. Last time, the twins were killed, so it's not unlikely that someone else could get targeted. I have to be here to help, just in case. _

_Could you really help them, though? What if you only hurt them, just like with Kasuka? _

Shizuo tensed up at that thought, trying desperately to erase it. _Come on, don't think about that. _

He couldn't help it, however, especially when a familiar voice sounded from behind him.

"Shizu-nii!"

Shizuo didn't even get a chance to prepare for the large hug to follow, now having Akane cling to him in greeting and talk a mile a minute. "You weren't with Tom-san and Vorona-san when I saw them earlier so I got worried! Did something happen?"

"Everything's fine, Akane. Today's just my day off," Shizuo replied, giving her a small smile.

_She's always showing up whenever I feel uncertain now..._

"Oh." The girl nodded, pulling away from him and looking at him with hopeful eyes. "Sorry, I didn't mean to bother you or anything."

"Hey, where'd you get that from?" Shizuo cast her a puzzled look. "You're not bothering me."

"Are you sure?"

He nodded, and as he did so, his phone buzzed, leaving him to find a text from Celty.

[Hey, Shizuo! I know you're probably not in the best mood and it is a little last minute, but Shinra and I were thinking about throwing a New Years party, if you want to come.]

"A party?" Shizuo murmured absentmindedly, glancing at the text another time before putting his phone away. "And I guess that means Shinra's out of the hospital."

When he looked back at Akane, however, he wasn't expecting her to remain ecstatic, her eyes lighting up. "A party?"

Shizuo ruffled her hair. "Sorry Akane. I don't think your dad would be too happy about you going."

The girl's lips curved into a pout. "But I want to spend more time with you and Tom-san and Vorona-san."

"You'll have plenty of time to spend with us. I won't be leaving for another week and after I come back, I doubt I'll be leaving again."

"But how long will you be gone?"

Shizuo frowned. "I don't know yet."

Akane was silent, disappointment written all over her face. Shizuo couldn't blame her, though. He had barely seen her since Izaya moved in, and with the twins gone, she was back to just having the Awakusu-kai. Shizuo knew the pain of feeling lonely, and the last thing he wanted was for someone else to suffer through that, especially when Akane only seemed to trust Akabayashi for the time being.

"I promise I'll make it up to you. You can hang out with all three of us every day after school, if your parents are okay with it."

Akane's sullen eyes brightened. "Really?"

Shizuo nodded and the girl grinned in delight, hugging him as tight as she could. "Thank you, Shizu-nii!"

"No problem." Shizuo smiled in reply, surprising Akane when she looked up at him, the girl letting out a content giggle. The blonde raised his eyebrows at this, however. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing," Akane replied. "I just like it when you smile, Shizu-nii."

Thankful that no one was there to laugh at how flustered he felt, Shizuo hugged Akane in return. "So, you said that you saw Tom and Vorona earlier. Why didn't you stay with them?"

Akane didn't answer, looking down at her feet and earning a small chuckle from Shizuo.

"Do you want to just walk around with me, then?"

Akane grinned. "I can stay?"

"Text your uncle."

Akane beamed, pulling her phone out. "You're being extra nice today, onii-chan."

"Hey, what are you trying to say?"

The girl smirked, taking Shizuo aback for a moment. _Why?_

It took him some time to notice, but he realized then that it wasn't her own phone that she had used, it had been his.

"Akane, give me my phone back."

Defeated, the girl gave it back to him, resulting in Shizuo flipping it open to find texts from Izaya. He didn't bother to scroll through them, however, only looking at the most recent few.

[Akane-chan, why did you take Shizu-chan's phone?]

[Onii-chan likes you.]

Shizuo looked away from the phone, glaring at Akane, though only for a moment, seeing how much she regretted it now.

"I'm sorry, onii-chan. I just wanted to lighten things up a bit."

Shizuo was silent, letting her continue.

"You look like you've been upset and mad a lot lately, so I just wanted to help."

"And?" Shizuo inquired. "I know there's an 'and' in there."

"And I overheard you and Iza-nii a lot when I was staying with you. I know you don't get along all the time, but..."

Shizuo managed a faint smile. "But?"

"I don't want onii-chan to be sad, and you seemed happy around Iza-nii, just like how you are with Tom-san and Vorona-san." Akane looked down at her feet, stepping side to side in embarrassment. After a moment, she stopped, noticing that Shizuo was on eye level with her, his smile more prominent and genuine.

"Thanks, Akane, but that was a little extreme, don't you think?"

"Yeah," she replied quietly.

Shizuo stood back up, looking at his phone once more to see if Izaya had answered.

Sure enough, he did.

[I know.]

[Oh, you know, huh?]

He could hear Izaya snickering already.

[Ah, Shizu-chan, you had to go and ruin the fun, ne?]

[I asked you a question, flea.]

[Again with that degrading nickname. I don't think I have to answer you now.]

Shizuo let out a sigh, causing Akane to look up at him in slight concern. "What's Iza-nii saying?"

"He's just being difficult," Shizuo murmured, putting his phone away. "Anyway, do you want to go eat or something? I guess it could make up for you not going to the party."

Akane's eyes brightened. "Can we?"

Shizuo nodded, watching the girl race ahead towards Lottaria with a now somber expression.

_Akane, please stay safe._

* * *

><p>"A New Years party?"<p>

Thinking that Izaya might take some interest in it, Shizuo brought up the invitation when he arrived back home, not even giving a formal greeting. Not that Izaya seemed to mind at that moment.

Shizuo was content for the time being until a frown appeared on Izaya's face, making him wonder just what he seemed so mad about.

"Was I invited?"

_Oh._

"Not exactly," Shizuo muttered with a frown. "But they invited you at Christmas, so who knows?"

Izaya sighed, turning away and pouting to himself. "I bet they're having hot pot."

_Just as I thought._

"You still haven't gotten over that?"

Izaya cast him a small glare, to which the blonde let out a nervous laugh, trying to steer away from the hot pot party.

"Anyway, it's too bad we couldn't throw it here," Shizuo commented, glancing around the apartment, frowning for the first time at its size. "You know, I'm really surprised you didn't have your apartment rebuilt. You have the money."

Looking back at Izaya, he thought that his statement might spark a red flag, though Izaya was surprisingly nonchalant.

"Not exactly, but give it a few more months and possibly. You'd be the one paying the bills this time, however."

"What the hell? Why me?"

Izaya smirked. "What's the problem? I don't see you spending any of your money, and you must have some savings."

"That all went to property damage," Shizuo grumbled, barely audible.

"Sorry, what was that?"

"Shut up."

Izaya cast a disturbingly innocent smile in his direction before letting out a yawn, resting his head on the back of the couch. "So, who's attending?"

Shizuo shrugged. "Celty said I could invite Tom and Vorona, so we'll have them, and probably Kadota and the others."

"Sounds like a good crowd," Izaya murmured. "Now we can only hope something doesn't happen."

Though Shizuo only raised his eyebrows, Izaya still replied to his silent comment.

"There's no rule saying it won't happen again. Shinra was stabbed on Christmas, so there's no saying that someone couldn't be a target on New Years Eve."

"It's like you want something to happen," Shizuo said bitterly, though he regretted it shortly after, looking up at Izaya in apology. "Anyway, I could ask Celty if you could come."

"I don't think it'd be worth the effort."

Shizuo raised his eyebrows. "When did you become such a pessimist?"

"Big words for someone with a small mind."

"You're still going at that?"

With a smug grin, Izaya responded, "Forever and always."

"How sweet," Shizuo deadpanned, looking him right in the eye.

Izaya was unfazed. "I'd feel flattered if I were you."

Shizuo finally regained his smile, rolling his eyes at him still. "Well, you're not, and I bet you're thankful for that."

"I don't know," Izaya said with a shrug. "It'd be interesting to be Shizu-chan for a day."

"You're kidding."

"I'm not."

Shizuo was silent, gazing at him with no words left to say.

"So, what time is this party supposed to be?"

"I think Celty said seven or eight."

Izaya took a look at his computer before focusing back on the other man. "Soon, then. You were gone for quite a while, you know."

Shizuo smiled. "I wasn't planning on it, but after Akane ran into me, I couldn't really help it."

"It still amazes me how much you care about her."

"I have feelings too, you know."

"I know."

Shizuo didn't reply, not seeing the need to. He had gotten this small victory, so why not bug the informant a little more? He was about to do him a favor, after all.

"There, I asked Celty."

Izaya let out another over-dramatic sigh, leaning all the way back against his chair. "I bet it's a no."

"She said yes, actually," Shizuo said contently. "Did you get on her good side or something?"

"Doubtful."

With a smirk, Shizuo murmured, "Maybe that should be one of your resolutions."

Izaya stuck his tongue out. "Very funny."

"So, are you coming or not?"

Izaya nodded, sending the two out the door moments later, walking in silence per usual. Shizuo wanted to say something, but he was content with the almost nonexistent smile on the other man's face, keeping him a silent a while longer. He could admit it was amusing to see that Izaya was still upset over something as trivial as not being invited to a hot pot party, but it was also somewhat reassuring.

_He's human too, after all._

"What are you smirking about?"

"Nothing."

_I'm just really happy, I guess._

_Huh._

It was certainly one of his better days, making him forget about the despair he had felt just that morning; not entirely, but almost. Izaya wasn't as much of a bother, he had got to spend most of the day with Akane, and now he could spend the night surrounded by the people he cared about. They were an even smaller few without Kasuka, Mairu, and Kururi, but he was still thankful for at least having someone.

At one point he caught a glimpse of Izaya all alone, scanning the room with solemn eyes, and Shizuo would admit it; he felt bad. Part of him knew that the man deserved it, but he seemed to be reforming. Why else would he be so upset over something like a hot pot party that was almost a year prior?

Izaya was lonely, and Shizuo understood that, so he made it his job to not only spend as much time as he could with everyone else, but check up on the informant from time to time.

_Damn, look at me. Caring about Izaya now. Things really do change. _

_"He said you've seemed a lot happier lately."  
><em>

_"I just like it when you smile, Shizu-nii."_

He didn't want to leave everyone behind like this, leaving him to only wish Izaya would tell him how long they would be gone. That, and he was still curious in what he had told his mother.

Shizuo was simply curious to how Izaya would react to everything. He had too much to say, and no idea when to say it or how to put all the pieces together.

It wasn't like he had to rush, however. He had hopes for this peaceful life to remain in tact, and he wanted to doubt that Izaya would try anything, especially not after coming this far.

They had changed a lot, and were still changing. It was a never ending process, and while it was tiresome, Shizuo supposed he could put up with it. Everything was fine again.

At least, that was what he had wanted to believe.

His suspicions weren't gone just yet, and he remembered that along with these particular murders, there was something else he was missing.

_Kill Izaya Orihara._

Murders, America, a command to kill Izaya, Shinra getting stabbed, Kasuka's death, the twins' death, something bothering Izaya.

It all revolved around Izaya.

Something wasn't right, and Shizuo knew that.

He just wished he knew what.

And it was that very thought that ended the peaceful life of Shizuo Heiwajima.

* * *

><p><strong>author's note~<strong>

Things are getting intense once again~

Tons of foreshadowing this chapter. Sorry about that. It should have been spread out more gradually but time is getting a little more cramped. The more chapters that end up in the first half give me less time with the second half, and I don't really want this chapter to be more than 60 or so chapters, for your relief and mine. xD

Anyway, I'm really proud of the beginning of this chapter, and that made me think I was going to finish this in six days. _Wrong. _I had nine snow days and it still comes out just before I consider it late. But hey, this is the fastest chapter in a while! We're getting some progress here. I'd love to fly through the next 2-3 chapters considering something big's coming up soon, and I'm dying to finalize it, so I'm planning on trying to get these out a little faster. I do want to focus on a huge improvement in quality for the next couple of chapters, though. The struggle /waves fist

That aside, I apologize for leading you on with the America cliffhanger last time. I probably should have waited until this chapter, but hey, it gives you a little more to look forward to. I know, this chapter's toned down once again, but despite that it's quite important to the plot. Please bear with me here. xD" Each chapter to follow will most likely pick it up.

Now onto the guest reviews~

**Guest:** I'm happy to hear it. ;w; I'm always left in a bit of disbelief when I hear how much you all like this, but it makes me happy nonetheless. Thank you. c:

**Hal: **Just a little bit! xD No worries. I'm not as pressured with chapters like these as I am the more important ones (says the one who literally just said this chapter was important haha cx), but thanks for understanding. Honestly, it's not so much that but the pressure I put on myself thinking that you guys will hate me or something, even though I'm always proven wrong. But thank you. c: I'm trying my best to make this the best I can for all of you.

Phew, this AN is a little bit shorter. xD Hopefully they can continue to be made shorter. I would just post them over on Tumblr but I doubt a lot of you would see it over there, so it is what it is for now.

As always, thank you so much for reading and I'll see you soon~!


	30. Don't You Dare Forget The Sun, Love

**chapter thirty - don't you dare forget the sun, love  
><strong>

"Now boarding Flight 666 for Manhattan."

As Shizuo had expected, Izaya took no time to face him, grimacing at what he had just heard and especially at the other man's horrid attempt to stifle his laughter. "You think you're so funny, don't you."

His deadpan caught Shizuo a little off-guard, though it only furthered the blonde's amusement. Ordering the right plane tickets this time gave him a less of an opportunity to guilt trip, but it seemed he still had a bit of a chance.

"Yeah, I do."

"Who knew you could be such an ass," Izaya muttered, taking the window seat and fixating himself on the view instead.

Shizuo took his seat as well, casting him a sly smile. "That's what friends are for."

"You're ridiculous," Izaya sighed, facing him with an unchanging expression.

From behind them, an irritated Namie rested her arms on the back of their seats, flicking both of their heads as she said, "You're both ridiculous."

"So resulting to violence is the answer here?" Izaya purred, noticing out of the corner of his eye that Shizuo shifted in his seat.

"It's the only way to shut you up."

"It doesn't even shut him up," Shizuo added, the informant snickering beside him. Ignoring him, he turned back to face Namie. "You know, you don't have to sit behind us."

Namie let out an exasperated sigh. "No thanks. I'd rather not get stuck babysitting you two."

Izaya faced her as well, his usual expression back in place of his irritation. "You could have easily stayed behind and stalked after your brother."

Reluctantly, Namie took the last seat in their row, thankful that she was beside Shizuo instead. "Not coming seemed to be the equivalent of getting fired."

"Not necessarily," Izaya said, lips curving into a pout when Namie ignored him. "I was kind enough to invite you, yet you see this only as a matter of your job being at stake. That, and you ignore me? You're so rude, Namie-chan."

Shizuo snorted, facing Izaya as if to taunt him. "I'd hardly call that an invite."

"I don't believe I asked for your opinion, Shizu-chan."

"Tch." Shizuo elbowed him in response. "I'm here too, so I should at least get a say."

"You don't have to be so cruel about it, though," Izaya mumbled, turning away and making himself comfortable. "Neither of you seem to care, so I guess I'll just sleep instead."

Namie, whose attention had fixated on anything but the informant, made no effort to face him as she replied. "Good riddance."

Much to her relief, Izaya didn't respond, and was out cold within the hour. She herself fell asleep after some time, making it a silent, though hardly enjoyable flight on Shizuo's end.

For a vast majority of the time, he sat with only his phone to keep him company. As he expected, Akane texted him, though attached to it was a drawing of the two, and it was that drawing that first made him bittersweet. He had already contemplated on whether or not he was making a mistake leaving everyone behind, but at the same time, his brief talk with Izaya at least gave him some reassurance. Additionally, the two had talked prior, easing Shizuo's initial thoughts.

_"Are you sure you know what you're doing?"_

_Per usual, Izaya just smirked. "Of course. Why would you think I didn't?"_

_Shizuo was hesitant, though brought himself to sigh and come out with it. "Well, considering what happened the last time we were there, things seemed to go out of control."_

_"You-" Izaya had to pause, making a very weak attempt to stifle his laughter. "You actually thought I was serious."_

_"What are you trying to say?"_

_"I'll admit, I was upset over the twins, but you thought I was seriously concerned?" Izaya was now rubbing small tears away, leaving Shizuo with a frown and raised eyebrows. "You thought I'd let something so small get to me?"_

_"I don't know," Shizuo started, facing him with an unchanging look in his eyes. "There are times where you seem really stressed and pissed off about God knows what, so I looked at it like one of those times. I mean, your breakdown over the money was a little dramatic, but..."_

_"Are you trying to tell me my acting's horrible?"_

_Shizuo groaned. "Izaya."_

_"You really amuse me, Shizu-chan."_

Of course, it wasn't the most relaxing conversation to have, but he knew that's just how Izaya was, and during his long silence he found himself missing that. Now that he really had a chance to sit down and think about it, having Izaya to counter his personality was actually kind of nice. It was something different, and definitely something he could never imagine himself thinking before anything had happened, but it wasn't like it was bad.

_Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. _Shizuo echoed to himself, gazing over at Izaya before managing to fall into his own slumber, only to be woken what felt like moments later.

"Shizu-chan, we're here."

Wide caramel eyes met carmine as Shizuo's first glimpse was Izaya right in front of him, the informant merely chuckling at his reaction. Shizuo rolled his eyes, standing up and moving to grab their suitcases with Izaya contently standing on the sidelines.

That is, until one of the suitcases fell, landing right in Izaya's arms, weighing him down for a moment.

"What's the matter Shizu-chan?" He managed to say, setting the baggage down. "Too much weight for you?"

"Nah," Shizuo replied, smug. "I'm just following a certain someone's advice."

_"Lay off the strength, would you?"_

Izaya gave him a pained smirk, though he didn't reply to his particular statement, instead waiting until the trio exited the plane, extending his free arm out as if to take in all of the sight. "Back in America, finally."

"Someone sounds nostalgic," Namie commented, and Shizuo could see the temptation in her eyes as she held back the desire to knock the informant over.

Letting his arm fall to his side, Izaya turned to face them, cautiously walking backwards as he spoke. "I wouldn't call it nostalgia. It's more of a failed desire to see the city while we were here."

"Getting tired of Ikebukuro, are we?"

"Nonsense, Namie-chan," Izaya chastised her, turning his back to the two once more. "I'm just curious about how life in the city is here. Wouldn't it be interesting to have an Ikebukuro parallel?"

"I think one Ikebukuro's enough for this world."

"You're no fun."

The two continued on with their bickering, Shizuo simply amused and avoiding an interference with them. For now, he could only smile at their antics, Izaya clearly enjoying himself. At least, in his unwavering smirk. Shizuo caught what seemed to be distress in his eyes, giving him a bit more of food for thought.

There was the possibility that, like with the prior America incident, it was an act, and Izaya was just pulling his leg. Something seemed genuine in those eyes, though, and Shizuo was determined to get it out of him.

Somehow.

After some time, the group showed up at their hotel, and much to Shizuo and Namie's relief, Izaya had gotten them a proper room.

_No more fighting over the bed, then. _

"Well that's a relief," Namie murmured, walking over and claiming her bed. "You were at least considerate enough to not make us sleep on the floor."

"I'm not that cruel."

Shizuo smiled. "That's debatable."

"Have you two been conspiring against me?" Izaya questioned, falling back onto his chosen bed. "You just don't know when to stop."

"I wouldn't call it conspiring."

Izaya let out a sigh, closing his eyes. "You keep telling yourself that, Shizu-chan."

The trio's usual antics continued throughout the night, between simple conversation, empty death threats, and over dinner, making things seem almost normal. Shizuo was still trying to comprehend this normal, especially considering things seemed so wrong but right at the same time. Gazing over at a sleeping Izaya and Namie, he had to remind himself that this was his life now, as strange as it still sounded to him. He didn't want to trade this life, even with its imperfections.

With the thought of imperfections, Shizuo's mind went back to the conversation he had with Izaya before leaving. _Would Izaya really let me come to America knowing that my friends were in danger?_

Much to his surprise, his first answer was no.

_Just stop thinking about it, dammit. Everything will be fine._

"Can't sleep?"

Shizuo flinched, rolling over to face Izaya, surprised to see him awake.

"Not exactly."

Izaya sat up, stretching his arms behind his head and letting out a long yawn. "That's unusual for you."

"Hey, Izaya."

"Hmm?" The informant seemed genuinely interested now, keeping his eyes on him.

"Are you absolutely sure you know what you're doing?"

Izaya chuckled. "I already told you. Of course I'm sure. I couldn't get a job from the Awakusu-kai and not be able to do it."

"So that's what this is."

"Partially." He shrugged, laying back down and closing his eyes. "I guess you could say it's a bit of a coping method."

Shizuo furrowed his eyebrows. "Coping method?"

"I thought it might help both of us relax for a while," Izaya murmured. "Well, you more than me, all things considered."

Dumbfounded, Shizuo simply stared at him for a moment, though eventually gave his weak reply.

"Yeah, I guess."

The two were silent for a brief time, though Shizuo managed to get his attention once more. "Izaya."

"Thanks."

Izaya froze, Shizuo's words rendering him unable to speak.

That was fine for Shizuo; he had more to bring up.

"Also, another thing."

"What?"

Shizuo faced him seriously, amused smile fading. "You're lonely, aren't you? That's why we came with you."

The informant was reluctant, though he managed to reply. "And what if I am?"

"Then we're not as different as we thought, huh."

"I suppose not."

Shizuo let out a yawn, turning his back to the informant and closing his eyes in hope of sleep, but with one last statement.

"'Night, flea."

When his eyes opened again, Shizuo saw himself back in Ikebukuro, though he he wouldn't say it was peaceful at first glance.

"Ah, Shizu-chan."

Shizuo turned, and sure enough, there was Izaya, switchblade just barely pressing into his chest, eyes glinting, speaking for themselves. _I found you._

"I-za-ya..."

The other man gave him a dangerous smirk, slicing Shizuo's shirt open before jumping backwards on reflex. Thankfully he did, considering Shizuo, much against his will, swung a fist at him. Agitated, the bodyguard swung again and again until Izaya caught his arm, and while failing at a vain attempt to twist it, the informant simply twirled himself around it and Shizuo himself. Taking the fury in the blonde's eyes to heart, Izaya waved at him before running off.

"Get back here, you bastard!" Shizuo growled, taking off after him. Catching a glimpse of the nearest street sign, he uprooted it, throwing it right past Izaya as a warning that this time he meant business. "You think you can get away with that again, hah?! I'll kill you this time!"

"It's been nine years and I'm still alive," Izaya called, jumping out of the way of the sign, watching it crash into a building before turning back to continue teasing him. "Such empty threats, Shizu-chan."

Shizuo barred his teeth, letting out an animalistic growl as he went for the nearest weapon, a trash can. This time, it successfully knocked Izaya down, sending him flying face-first onto the ground. Shizuo caught him looking back, and the informant hurriedly scrambled to his feet, running off as fast as he could.

_Heh. Simon's not here to help you this time, you goddamned flea bastard._

Again Shizuo screamed at him, each word coming out as its own separate sentence.

"Shut."

Izaya began slowing down, looking back at Shizuo, only for terror to show up in his eyes.

"The."

Shizuo was gaining more ground, now hearing Izaya's ragged breathing.

"Hell."

Looking for a quick escape, Izaya turned the nearest corner, only to find a dead end.

"_Up!_"

With the other man frozen, Shizuo leaped, tackling him and slamming him into the ground, Izaya's head rammed against hard concrete. The informant was now cursing left and right as all of his pain began to settle in, blood streaming down his face from the impact. Shizuo didn't waver, standing up and grabbing Izaya's shirt collar, only to let him fall back to the ground, letting out a pitiful wail.

Still, he managed to look Shizuo in the eye, fury attempting to replace his fear. "Shizu-cha-"

He never finished calling the blonde by his nickname, instead yelping once again as Shizuo held him down, pinning him by his wrists and going far enough to twist his right arm backward, adding more than enough extra pressure to break it. Eyes narrowed, Izaya now managed to pull his leg towards him, kicking Shizuo as hard as he possibly could, making him lose his grip and give Izaya a very slim chance to fight back. He was able to dig into his pocket, pull out his switchblade and point it unsteadily at his enemy's throat. However, he didn't have enough time or energy to stab him right then and there, or escape.

Shizuo returned the favor by snatching the blade, unfazed at the blood now trickling down his hand.

"You know, Shizu-chan, I was right," Izaya rasped, giving up and letting his hand fall to his side. "You really are a monster."

Preparing for the worst, he closed his eyes.

"You know what, you were right for once," Shizuo muttered. "Congrats."

"I'll see you in Hell."

Shizuo tightly clenched the switchblade, positioning it above the edge of Izaya's throat, swinging downward and driving it straight through, vision fading as blood splattered onto his face.

_No..._

_No!_

_I don't want to kill him!_

_I wouldn't be able to kill him!_

_I..._

_This isn't real!_

Shizuo's eyes shot open and he bolted upward, putting a hand to his chest as his breathing became heavy. _It wasn't real._ He repeated over and over in his mind, gazing over to see a very much alive Izaya, chest rising and falling as he slept. Once his breathing calmed, he let out a sigh, falling back onto his bed and pulling the covers over his head._  
><em>

"Good morning, Shizu-chan."

Shizuo tensed up, pulling the covers off and rolling over on his side. Sure enough, Izaya was staring right at him. _Was he-?_

"Morning," he replied, voice shaky.

"You don't sound so good," Izaya murmured, letting out a yawn. "Did you have a nightmare?"

Shizuo shook his head, sitting up and stretching his arms as he spoke. "Nah. I just didn't sleep that good."

"Really," Izaya spoke more to himself in a half-question, half-statement like manner, Shizuo frowning in response. "Anyway, I thought I may as well let you know now that I'm going to be out for a while. Please don't listen to anything Namie might tell you."

"Funny that you're telling me that now."

"What has she told you?" Izaya asked, glaring daggers at him, though the bodyguard couldn't help but chuckle at his feigned panic. "Don't tell me I'll have to get Shinra to brainwash you."

Shizuo cast him a sheepish smile. "Thanks for ruining your brilliant plan."

Letting out a sigh, Izaya fell back onto his bed, murmuring, "Oh, Shizu-chan, why haven't I fired you yet?"

"I don't know," Shizuo replied in all seriousness. "You're the one who's sticking around."

After what seemed to be a bit of hesitation, Izaya sat back up. "I suppose. I did technically employ you, though."

"But am I really your secretary?" Shizuo continued, ineptly kicking his legs off the side of his bed. "Kinda seems like that went down in flames."

Izaya furrowed his brows. "Do you still want to be my secretary?"

"Depends."

"Depends on what?"

Shizuo shrugged his shoulders. "Would you even need me?"

"Yes."

Curious, Shizuo pressed on. "For what?"

The other man smirked. "Moral support?"

"Izaya…"

"Could you two stop flirting for five minutes?"

Both men froze, turning to see a very distressed Namie, head buried in her pillow.

"Flirting?"

They spoke in unison, though their expressions told every difference between the two. Shizuo's was one of absolute bewilderment, if not morphing into anger, while Izaya's was calm, collected, and as expected, smug.

Namie lifted her head up in time to see this, mumbling, "Idiots."

"Sweet as always," Izaya replied, getting up off the bed and sliding his coat on. "Well, since it seems like neither of you care to have me around, yet again, I guess I'll take my leave."

"See you never," was Namie's final statement before rolling over, back to the two.

Shizuo had finally settled down, facing Izaya with a sideways smirk. "Hey, don't get into any trouble."

"Very funny," Izaya sighed. "I should say the same for you."

"Shut up," Shizuo replied, nudging him lightly with his elbow as he walked by.

With only a wave, Izaya exited, and Shizuo gazed over to see Namie, sitting up with a pleased smile.

"What's with that look?" Shizuo asked, something of a smile forming as he spoke.

"He's finally gone," Namie said simply, sounding as if a great weight had been lifted off her shoulders. "You don't know the torment that man puts me through."

Shizuo let out a chuckle. "You get used to it eventually."

"Eventually sounds more like an eternity."

_I thought it did too._

_Apparently a part of me still feels like that. _

"Yeah, I understand," he murmured, expression turning melancholy as thoughts of his nightmare resurfaced. He was still failing to comprehend how that even came to his subconscious thought. It was clear that he didn't hate Izaya any more; he knew it himself.

Was it that he had a growing fear of hurting him, too?

"Anyway, I'd rather not be a bummer all day," Namie continued, letting her feet slide into her slippers before standing up. "And it's not like Izaya left us any work, so what do you say we head out?"

"Really?" Shizuo questioned, amused.

"I've found that I don't really do well just sitting around doing nothing these days," she replied, kneeling down and rummaging through her luggage. "I don't have a company to run anymore, or any work to do today, and it's a bother. I guess you could say the bastard turned me into a workaholic."

"Fair enough."

The two eventually took their turns at getting ready, now set for heading out to finally get a good glimpse at the city. Though, slightly unexpectedly, there was a bit of joking between the two that wasn't dealing with Izaya.

"A lab coat?"

Namie shrugged. "I never get to wear it anymore."

"Do you own anything other than those bartender outfits?"

Shizuo was a bit hesitant to reply, though successfully managed to. "My brother gave them to me, so I try to wear them as much as I can."

"Ah." Namie nodded her head in understanding.

So began their day out into the city, which would abruptly run short, despite its enjoyable moments. Namie treated Shizuo to breakfast, and the two could finally sit down and relax, almost all of Shizuo's negative thoughts subsided. There was, of course, the constant weight of Kasuka's death and Izaya's dream death on his shoulders, though neither was prominent for him until the two were back on the streets.

"_Get the hell out of my way!_"

Shizuo and Namie exchanged glances, both turning in the direction of the voice, spotting a man shoving his way through the packed crowd. Shizuo frowned at the sight, Namie simply rolling her eyes, though staying on alert and muttering, "Wonder how common this is here."

He was about to answer when the man rammed right into him, falling to the ground courtesy of the impact. Infuriated, the man stood up, glaring up at Shizuo. "_What the fuck? Damn bartender!" _

Seconds later, a gun was pulled, and Shizuo instantly made a move to shove Namie of the way, though she had began to move forward, now being shoved to the ground with a rough landing.

There were some gasps following the terrified screams behind him, and Shizuo made his split second decision to grab the gun, twisting the man's arm in attempt to pry it free. Seconds later the man was wailing over a broken arm, and the gun fell to the ground, Shizuo kicking it off into an alleyway so the man couldn't reach it.

"_Hey, kid,_" Shizuo said, picking him up by the shirt collar, staring right into his eyes. "_Do me a favor and go to sleep, you piece of shit._"

With that, the blonde collided their heads together, letting him fall to the ground before turning back towards Namie, who had managed to stand up, now with a frown on her face.

"I was going to try and help, you know."

Shizuo nodded. "I know, I just-"

"I can defend myself. I don't need you to do that for me."

"Namie, I was just trying to help. It's an instinct now," Shizuo mumbled, adjusting his sunglasses in shame.

"We can talk later," she replied hurriedly, grabbing his arm and tugging on his sleeve. "We need to get out of here."

Shizuo followed after her, gazing around to see phones out and wide eyes on them. _Shit. Izaya's going to kill us._

* * *

><p>"Would you two care to explain this?"<p>

Sure enough, Izaya had come across a video of the two, leaving a mixture of exchanged glances, a frown, and embarrassment in its wake.

"Well-" Shizuo began, only to be cut off by Izaya, and just by a finger to his lips.

The blonde sighed, giving Namie yet another apologetic look and turning his back to the two as he headed across the room. "I'm gonna take a shower."

Closing the door behind him, Shizuo rested his head and closed his eyes, wanting to slink to the ground in that moment. _Dammit. I screwed up again._

_Namie could've gotten seriously hurt, and..._

_It was almost like that damn dream._

Twisting the attacker's arm, fighting back, the alley.

It was almost too coincidental.

He could only be thankful that Izaya wasn't present.

Still, the informant seemed mad, disappointed at the least.

_Dammit._

A shower could only ease his mind so much, especially when he caught the disappearance of Namie's voice, yet Izaya was talking to someone.

_Probably just the Awakusu._

What Izaya was actually saying seemed to prove him wrong, however.

Not to appear too suspicious, Shizuo clothed himself, leaning against the door to hear better, quickly getting his answer for who Izaya was talking to.

"Ne, Shinra, does this mean you're concerned about me?"

His voice had lost its essence of confidence just slightly, continuing his almost disappointed-sounding voice.

"You're so rude," Izaya murmured, lightening his tone as well.

Shizuo could only stand there, dumbfounded, an eerie silence taking over.

"You don't have to remind me."

"I'm not in the best standing or the worst, and you should know that. Why bother asking?"

"I know."

Shizuo caught a small sigh, and when the silence returned, the blonde moved to turn the shower off, inconspicuously drying his hair as he walked out.

"That was a long shower," Izaya teased, Shizuo rolling his eyes in reply.

"Like you haven't had a long shower before."

"I usually have more important things to attend to," Izaya answered nonchalantly.

Shizuo managed a weak smile. "Nice try."

Izaya shrugged. "It was worth a shot."

"Anyway," Shizuo continued, glancing around the room. "Since you're set on going somewhere, I guess we should head out. Your pick."

The expression he received was awful smug, giving him some regret without even hearing a word. "My pick, huh?"

"Izaya."

"What?" Izaya asked, sounding just a bit offended. "If I had it my way, we'd probably visit the Statue of Liberty, but I'd rather not die today."

Shizuo tensed, though tried his best to calmly continue the conversation. "You doubt me that much?"

"Not necessarily."

"Liar," Shizuo muttered, to which Izaya proudly acknowledged.

"If you think I'm lying, then why don't we go and prove that I'm not?"

Shizuo rolled his eyes, waiting for Izaya's response. "Too much effort."

"Fine then," Izaya pouted. "Where do you want to go?"

The bodyguard smiled, about to answer when Izaya continued. "Probably somewhere boring. Nothing seems to have as good of a thrill as being chased across the top of America's prized landmark." He sighed afterward, looking at Shizuo with almost pleading eyes.

"You make it sound like you want me to kill you."

"I'm merely reminiscing, Shizu-chan."

"You really miss it, don't you?" Shizuo teased, earning an elbow from the other man.

"It depends on how you'd define my way of missing it."

Shizuo chuckled. "I guess we're going to the Statue, then. I kinda wanted to see more of the city, though. Like you said, it could be an Ikebukuro parallel."

"Finally, someone agrees with me," Izaya said with a grin. "I suppose we'll be taking a tour, then."

"You don't sound so happy."

"Well," Izaya started, reverting back to his pleading ways. "Knowing you, you'll want to go out to eat somewhere, and I'm going to get stuck paying."

"I can pay."

"That's probably the best thing I've heard out of you all day."

"Shut up," Shizuo grumbled half-heartedly. "So where are we eating?"

"Well-"

"Nowhere expensive, flea."

* * *

><p>"Well, this is at least better than your driving."<p>

With a sigh, Shizuo looked down at the other man. "Easy for you to say. You're the one who managed to get a seat."

After failed shouts for a taxi, the two finally settled on the subway, though Shizuo wouldn't exactly call himself comfortable with it.

"Shizu-chan, we'll be there soon. I'd appreciate it if you stopped complaining."

"Alright, your highness."

Izaya smirked. "Someone's spent too much time with Namie."

_And not enough time with you._

Shizuo blinked, looking away as the thought came to mind. He could already see the guilt in his expression with the mention of Namie, and on top of that, a sense of discomfort was lingering, keeping everything that had happened in reality and fantasy in mind.

"So, Shizu-chan, do you have any other special requests?"

"Huh?"

"I personally think we should stop and get you a new outfit. Maybe some hair dye, too." Izaya smirked. "You are an internet celebrity now, after all."

Shizuo rolled his eyes. "Shut up."

"I need a clear-cut answer."

"Fine," Shizuo replied almost instantly. "As long as you get something so you can stop wearing just that damn eskimo coat."

Izaya let out a sigh. "Shizu-chan's so rude."

"But?"

"But I suppose I could get something too. Are you paying?"

Shizuo groaned. "Nothing expensive."

After a while, the two reached their destination, Shizuo relieved to be off the subway, not having to hold onto anything any longer. He also found that over dinner, his thoughts began to fade away to the point that he was almost completely absorbed in Izaya.

His smirk, his bright - though taunting - eyes, his hair, his coat (until it had been swapped out, of course), his voice, everything.

He had been right, this was somewhat of a coping method.

Shizuo's worries about visiting the Statue of Liberty had been demolished, even as the two made their way up to the crown, taking in the whole of the city.

"I've always wanted a view of Ikebukuro like this," he murmured absentmindedly, earning a chuckle from Izaya.

"A little homesick, are we?"

Shizuo sighed, resting his arms on the railing. "I guess. I feel a lot better now, though."

Turning towards Izaya, he added, "Thanks."

Izaya turned his head, gazing out over the city to distract himself. "I don't understand why you're thanking me. I haven't done anything."

Shizuo's smile only grew wider, a bit thankful that Izaya was looking off in that moment.

"Hey."

"Hmm?"

Shizuo opened his mouth to speak, though paused upon hearing voices behind him, turning around to see what the fuss was.

"_There he is. That guy from the video!_"

"_I wanna fight him._"

"_You're one crazy bastard, you know._"

Frowning, Shizuo turned in their direction, approaching them and saying as patiently as he could, "_The hell do you want?_"

More voices sounded from behind him, however, and Shizuo froze, catching Izaya's over the rest.

"You really thought you'd follow me and kill me without a problem, hmm?"

"Die, bastard!"

Eyes wide, Shizuo wasted no time to run in front of Izaya, frowning as the attacker's knife went only five millimeters through, falling to the ground.

"S-Shizuo H-Heiwaj-jima..."

"_Did you guys see that?_"

"_What the hell?!_"

"_Let's just get out of here!"_

Eventually the room was cleared, and while Izaya let out a sigh of relief, Shizuo faced him with a frown.

"That was involved with your little job, wasn't it."

Izaya shrugged. "I don't see a need to be so alarmed about it. You've been stabbed like that before, you know. Or have you decided to forget since it was-"

"I'm not talking about me, you idiot," Shizuo muttered. "I'm talking about how damn _reckless _you are. Seriously, what the hell was that?!"

Shizuo was instantly silenced, frozen staring at the sight in front of him. Izaya had burst out laughing, but it wasn't anything of a smug chuckle. It was truly genuine laughter, tears forming in the corners of his eyes. It wasn't meant to mock him, either. If that was the case, he wouldn't be smiling.

"Ne, Shizu-chan," Izaya began, managing to contain his laughter. "Remember when I asked you if you wanted to be the hero?"

"Huh?"

"When you pulled me out of the street. Remember?"

_"What the hell, flea?!"_

_Izaya looked up at him, smirk still plastered to his face. "That was a test. You told me to go die, and I was curious to see how you would react. I see you're still trying to play hero, ne?"_

_"I'm not trying to be anything," Shizuo snapped. "Honestly, do you have a death wish? This is the second time you'd be dead had I not saved your sorry ass."_

_"If you didn't save me, I could've simply jumped out of the way."_

_"And risk your life in the process."_

_Izaya rolled his eyes, and Shizuo realized then that he was still holding onto the informant, letting go of him and turning away._

_"What's done is done, Shizu-chan," Izaya said simply. "Now, what interests me is why you told me to go die and then proceeded to save me. It seems that you can't make up your mind. Or," he paused, grabbing the blonde's shoulders and turning him around. "You somehow care about for me."_

_"No!" Shizuo exclaimed instantly. "I just..."_

"You're a really bad liar, you know."

"Yeah, I know."

_You've known that I want to be able to play hero, to not hurt anyone again. You've known everything that's going on, haven't you._

_I guess you win this time, Izaya._

* * *

><p><strong>author's note~<strong>

It took a very painful month and week, _but I am back! _I am very, _extremely _sorry this took so long. I've been ranting, I've been procrastinating, but I finally managed to shut myself up and sit myself down for the past five hours to bring you the longest chapter so far. I'm honestly glad it took this long though, because without that "break" (that seriously was not a break, let me tell you) I wouldn't have thought of what I'm most proud of regarding this chapter.

But chapter goals aside, I want to thank you guys for sticking with this story in its over-extended hiatus, and I also want to thank you for _99_ followers! Never in my wildest dreams did I think I'd get this far, and I want to thank you all, for the thousandth time, but still. Thank you. I really mean it. Without you guys, I would've spent these past eight months getting absolutely nothing accomplished and we are finally, finally, one chapter away from being halfway through this fic!

I have a feeling that this following won't last for much longer though, because as this is the halfway point, and as I've mentioned in the past, something huge is coming in the next chapter and I'm positive there's going to be mixed feelings about it. But rest assured, because _everything will start to make sense really soon. _

I'm going to try my best to get this chapter out really soon, because I've been waiting for the longest time to write it. That being said, though, it might take a couple of rewrites, but I can assure you it won't take as long as this chapter did.

Now, for the guest reviews, since you've waited for the absolute longest time for replies and I just

sobs

**Yuki: **Well, the wait is finally over! Thank you! Glad you though it was good~

**Zevv: **I'm so sorry you were in the hospital! D: At least you're better now.

I don't even think I can put into words how happy your reviews made me. ;_; I'm so happy I've been able to give you an enjoyable story, and it's comments like yours that are going to keep me writing. Sure, I'm not entirely happy with the outcome of this fic, but I am happy that I've been able to give something to you guys. And don't you worry, I'm not going to kill everyone off. If I did that, I might end up crying myself to sleep once the fic is over.

But anyway, thank you and everyone else so, so much.

I'd like to keep this AN as short as I can, so I'll add some extras in the tumblr post, if any of you want to check it out. I'll try not to bury it in reblogs. I was good and didn't check my dash at all while writing. xD

So, that all said (hopefully I didn't forget anything), I'll hopefully see you all way sooner next time. Hope you all enjoyed~!

**4/14 Update: **

**Hey all. I usually don't do updates like this, but since my edit on Zevv's review didn't go through with it, I wanted to be able to assure you all that the huge event coming will not involve rape, nor will there be any rape in this fic or any of my future fics. I'm personally uncomfortable with the trope myself, and as Zevv said, it's most certainly not something that should be taken lightly. So, rest assured, nothing of the sort will happen. Even if I were to mention it in a fic (just as an example), I would be sure to put a trigger warning, along with other topics like suicide, self-harm, etc. **

**Sorry about this. I'm not sure how many of you will see it but I didn't want to make you suffer through the wait for the next chapter worrying about this.**

**So, that aside, I'll see you all next time~**


	31. Announcement

**The rewrite is out! Re: T&E is my love letter to you all for supporting this version, and I'd really appreciate it if you stop reading this and go check it out instead. You all have supported me so much throughout this version, but it's time is over. I appreciate your constant support, but there will never be another chapter added here, so there's no use in you reading and/or following if you're new. If you want to reread from time to time, feel free, but I'd feel much better knowing you read a story I'm much more proud of, and also one I feel like you all deserve for sticking with me. Thank you!  
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* * *

><p>Well, it's been a long three months, hasn't it?<p>

Hello once again, everyone!

...Yeah, I know, you're probably really mad with me right now for a. not updating for this long and b. when you finally see a new update, it's just an author's note. Trust me, I've been through it myself.

For those of you who never saw the summary update or my profile, I'd like to apologize and also thank those of you who have waited! ;w; If you're still here, it means a lot to me.

I know I'm going to get a lot of complaints, but as I explained in my profile, I will not be continuing this from chapter 31.

**Instead, I will be starting from the very beginning~!**

Yeah, I wouldn't give up on this fic just yet. I've taken the time to plan all over again and restart the story in a way I see more fit than how it was originally. This fic was an experiment with me making everything up as I went, and now that I have a much better grasp of the story, I'd love to complete it and give you all the quality you deserve. With that said, some things are going to change. I can't say right now that I've thought of changing anything too drastic from what you all have already read, so I hope that each change you do get will be made for the better.

As we can clearly see, my writing is not perfect. It wasn't a year ago, and it still isn't now. For the past thirty chapters, I'll admit, I rushed myself. So I'm going to admit right now that I can't guarantee quick chapters. I'd _like _to release each chapter every Thursday, but we'll have to see how that goes. Honestly, this could take another year to be finished, or a year and a half, maybe even two years. But it doesn't sit right from me leaving you all with a really crappy, incomplete story, since I can at least know that those of you who reviewed liked this, some loved it. I'm determined to finish this for you and show what I wanted to show through it.

Not only do I want to finish this fic, however. I want to write one-shots, take requests, write for new fandoms - not limit myself to the same story for another year. With that said, just getting this fic out will take some time, but I really want to branch out and improve my skills. I've recently gotten into Danganronpa and I'm dying to write some fics for it as well, along with picking up ideas I've had sitting around for a year and improve them.

I want this year to be a great one, so I hope you guys will stick around and hopefully enjoy my writing just as much, if not more.

Again, I'm really sorry I left you all hanging with the last chapter. I know this isn't what you were looking forward to, but I sincerely hope you all enjoy the improved version when it comes out.

That said, I can tell you for certain that the first chapter will be out on the 16th! c: I'm not going to delete this version, so if you ever want to look back, this will still be here for you.

Again, thank you to those of you who have been patient. ;w; I can't even thank you guys enough for helping me continue this fic. Without you, I'd be sitting around accomplishing nothing. I might still be back at a starting point, but I'm getting somewhere.

Anyway, enough rambling. Author's notes should be way shorter than this from now on, so sorry for intimidating you all one last time. xD"

So, I'll see you in a week!


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